Strength of a Woman/Let s Hear it for the Boy! Step 1: Trigger exercise1

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1 Goals: Kadimaniks will understand what is means to stereotype by gender and learn to recognize that although there are gender differences, we each have something to give and can still appreciate each other as creations of God. Using Ashrei Ha ish and Eishet Chayil, and a few examples of other Jewish texts, Kadimaniks will learn about gender equality in both traditional and modern Jewish practice and how each gender is valued and appreciated through traditional and modern Friday night rituals Kadimaniks will practice the learned concepts of appreciation for their gender by adapting the Friday night table songs into their own girl power/marvelous mench gender appreciation songs.. Materials: Disney images- a few copies of each, depending on size of group List of gender stereotypes by profession Gender Equality in Jewish Texts, cut into separate texts Jewish texts: Btzelem Elohim (B reishit 1:27)- to mention in discussion Ezer K negdo (B reishit 2:18)- to mention in discussion K doshim Tihiyu (Vayikra 19:1-2) Eishet Chayil EXCERPT- handout Ashrei Ha ish EXCERPT - handout Step 1: Trigger exercise 1 Do these words give you a male or female image? Word Association think of the first thing that comes to your mind in terms of images of male of female when you hear each of the following words and call it out: Woman God Wisdom Man Tallit Doctor blue Construction worker light Miriam Math rabbi grace Teacher Shchina Mechanic Judge Mother pink Senator secretary Judge Kitchen love 1 (adapted from Love Your Neighbor, Love Yourself, United Synagogue, 2009, page 47, with contributions from Rabbi Jen Gorman)

2 Moshe Computer techie Elohim Tools Angels Nanny/babysitter Compassion Adonai Presence Life Judaism Sinai Peace Kohanim Mercy Prayer/Tefillah Mitzvah water life Creation Creator As you hear responses, pause and ask them why they associate that particular word as male or female Pose core question: Where do you think these responses come from? Why do you categorize these words by male and female and do what we call generalize (example: all teachers are female or God is always male)? What are generalizations? What are stereotypes and how do we learn them? Break into groups of male and female Step 2: Defining stereotypes Materials: Disney Images Our culture teaches us to attribute certain characteristics and ideas into categories of boy and girl. Ask for examples (i.e. pink for girls, girls become teachers, boys play with trucks, etc.). Here s one example how. Distribute Disney images and ask them in groups to come up with explanations as to how the males are portrayed and how the females are portrayed (gender differences and stereotypes). What stereotypes do you see here? FYI for educator: a stereotype is a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group. Example: Jews are frugal Next have them look at the examples of Fiona and Shrek and Mulan. Pose the questions: What makes these characters different from the others? How do these characters challenge the gender stereotypes? Sometimes the differences can pull us apart and cause inequality between genders. How many of you have heard or said you can t play on our team, you re a girl! Step 3: Introduce Jewish concepts and texts

3 NOTE TO LEADER: they may get into the trigger exercises and leave less time for the activity. If this is so, quickly introduce the Jewish concepts of Btzelem and Ezer K negdo by reading them aloud and giving them 2 minutes each to come up with examples. Then go straight to the Eishet Chayil and Ashrei Ha ish activity and how the two love poems reflect these concepts as an introduction to the songs. Explain: Although there may sometimes seem to be traditional male and female roles in Judaism, in fact Judaism stresses partnership and equality between men and women starting with the first man and woman, Adam and Chava (Eve). Using the text sheet provided, ask one person to come up and read the Btzelem Elohim text and Ezer K negdo text and pose the questions provided (or just ask them what they think it means and to provide examples). Give them 2 minutes in their groups to discuss the texts. It should be interesting to note the different responses based on gender. Explain: As you can see, Judaism stresses equality, since we are all made Btzelem Elohim and made holy by God as equal partners, we should learn to value and appreciate each other. Step 4: Make it Your Own: Eishet Chayil and Ashrei Ha ish Love Songs Eishet Chayil and Ashrei Ha ish: Ask the boys: how many of you have a female role model you look up to? Ask the girls: how many of you have a male role model you look up to? Explain: You may have a male or female role model at home that helped you shape your feelings toward the opposite sex and make your recognize equality and strength in other opposite sex. But much of our opinions and stereotypes or images of the opposite sex comes not from our role models but from pop culture. A lot of the stereotypes and images we have of the opposite sex come from pop culture. Think about the music videos and songs you hear. Even though pop culture can sometimes objectify women and enforce the stereotypes and disrespect of men and women, there are songs that do indeed teach us to cheer for the other team. One example is Shaggy s Strength of a Woman where he sings about the beauty and strength and power of women and a 1980 s hit Let s Hear it for the Boy where the singer, Deniece Williams, cheers on males! Jewish tradition also has songs we sing to honor each other. In traditional homes on Friday nights, Eishet Chayil or Woman of Valor is sung by the husband (children can join in) to the woman of the home. In many egalitarian households, some families are starting to sing Ashrei Ha ish (Happy is the Man) to the man of the home in order to recognize the strength and worth of both genders. Next, hand out the Eishet Chayil texts to the boys and Ashrei Ha ish to the girls.

4 Read through the text and find key words or terms that illustrate the power, strength and beauty of man or woman. What message do you think these songs (from the book of Mishlei or Proverbs and Psalms/Tehilim) teach us about men and women? How do they reflect the first 3 texts? How can they teach us to value each gender? What words or actions are highlighted? As you read, think about the following: Boys- as you read Ashrei Ha ish, think about how it reflects the idea of being a mensch or a good man. What qualities are outlined in this song about what it means to be a mensch and why would we sing it to the man of our households on Friday nights? Girls- How does Eishet Chayil reflect girl power or the strength of a woman? What does singing this song to women on Friday nights teach us about how Judaism values women? Step 5: Activity Instructions are on each hand out. Kadimaniks are to read through the songs and decide which words, phrases or ideas teach you kavod or respect for males or females. How do these songs teach us to value and appreciate each other? Using the ideas of love, respect and appreciation expressed in these songs, you will create your own song (or skit) expressing value and appreciation for males or females and perform for the other gender. REMINDERS: Make sure they choose a few of the ideas expressed in the Proverbs song to emphasize what you value about girls or boys. You can write new lyrics to a tune you already know. You can perform it Glee style with dance or actions if you want! Make sure your song reflects either what we talked about with the first 3 texts or particularly what the song is about. Step 6: Present the 2 Songs and discuss Following each presentation, ask each group to explain the themes/concepts or words they chose to include and how those express appreciation for their gender- either girl power or marvelous menches. Ask the other gender how these songs helped them recognize how to treat men/women. Girls- How does a hearing a song of praise for a women make her feel special or empower her each week? How can we use Ashrei Ha ish, the song for the man of the house (or any male) to learn to appreciate boys for everything they do? Boys: does this song of appreciation for girls, sung every Friday night in Eishet Chayil, teach you at all how to act towards a girl?

5 Would you want your mom/dad to sing this on Friday nights? Some men say Eishet Chayil alone to their wives, some families sing it all together. What message does each way of singing, send? How can these traditional and cotemporary songs of tribute to the men and women in our lives teach us the importance of each other? Summarize and conclude (the take home): If we keep these words in mind, and maybe even sing them at our Shabbat table, can we learn to respect one another for our strengths and differences and learn that our differences are what make us perfect partners and friends? It is these songs we serenade to our loved ones each week at the Shabbat table that remind us of our uniqueness and help us fight stereotypes and learn to appreciate one another as equals made in God s image Gender Equality in Jewish texts (THESE SHOULD BE CUT INTO SMALL SLIPS OF PAPER, questions should be posed following each one) Text 1: In the Image of God/B tzelem Elohim 27 And God created man in God s own image, in כז ו יּ ב ר א א ל ה ים א ת-ה אָד ם בּ צ ל מוֹ, the image of God created God him; male and בּ צ ל ם א ל ה ים בּ ר א א תוֹ: ז כ ר וּנ ק ב ה, female created God them. בּ ר א א ת ם. QUESTIONS TO POSE/Thinking it through: Btzelem Elohim- in the image of God- what does this mean? Why is only man mentioned in the first line and then woman is mentioned? What is one way we can live our lives to remind us that we are made in the image of God? (i.e. dress respectfully) How does this text teach us equality between men and women? Text 2: Learning to respect each other- Holy Moly! ב דּ בּ ר א ל-כּ ל-ע ד ת בּ נ י-י שׂ ר א ל, ו אָמ ר תּ א ל ה ם--ק ד שׁ ים תּ ה יוּ: כּ י ק דוֹשׁ, א נ י י הו ה א ל ה יכ ם. 2 Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them: Ye shall be holy; for I the Lord your God am holy. QUESTION TO POSE: If God is holy and we are made in God s image than we too are holy. Each of us is special. How can we learn to accept this? Instead of saying girls are stupid or boys smell, how can we instead say I am holy and so is he/she?

6 Text 3: The creation of Chava, a mate for Adam יח ו יּ אמ ר י הו ה א ל ה ים, ל א-טוֹב ה יוֹת ה אָד ם ל ב דּוֹ; א ע שׂ ה-לּוֹ ע ז ר, כּ נ ג דּוֹ. 18 And the LORD God said: 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him.' Agree or disagree: By creating man first, God doesn t not mean that man is better. God creates Eve to be an Ezer K negdo- a partner or mate to stand by Adam s side. If God wanted to give Adam a mate or helper, why wouldn t he just clone Adam and create another man? Neged means opposite or against Adam. God created woman as a partner to Adam to fill in his missing pieces with character traits different from him. Men and women are different in order to complete one another.

7 *HANDOUT FOR THE GIRLS* Excerpt from Eishet Chayil (Misheli/Proverbs 31:10-31) What qualities of a woman are highlighted here? This is just an excerpt of the full song, which you can find in the Bkol Echad song book. Some families find that this song reenforces the stereotypes of women as cooks and maids and homemakers. Others see is as a beautiful love song, expressing appreciation for how hard a woman works. What do you think? Read through it and choose 3 qualities of a woman that this song emphasizes. Use these qualities to create a song to sing to the boys about the strength of a woman or GIRL POWER! You can make up your own Eishet Chayul song to a song tune you already know and perform it with actions if you want to! י א שׁ ת-ח י ל, מ י י מ צ א; מ פּ נ ינ ים מ כ ר הּ. ו ר ח ק 10 A woman of valor who can find? For her price is far above rubies. כה ע ז-ו ה ד ר ל בוּשׁ הּ; אַח רוֹן. כו פּ י ה, פּ ת ח ה ב ח כ מ ה; ע ל-ל שׁוֹנ הּ. ו תּ שׂ ח ק, ל יוֹם ו תוֹר ת ח ס ד, 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing; and she laughs at the final day [rest is for the weary]. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and the law of kindness is on her tongue.

8 *FOR THE BOYS* - Ashrei Ha ish (Psalms 112) Activity: Choose 3 qualities of man that this song highlights and use these qualities to create a song of appreciation for marvelous menches- men who deserve the respect and honor because of the kind and wonderful things they do. Use the tune of a song you know and include some of the ideas in this prayer in your song. This is song to show those girls how awesome it is to be a boy so rock it! Happy is the man that fears the LORD, that delights greatly in His אַשׁ ר י-א ישׁ, י ר א א ת-י הו ה; בּ מ צ ו ת יו, ח פ ץ מ א ד. commandments. 2 His seed shall be mighty upon earth; the generation of the ב גּ בּוֹר בּ אָר ץ, י ה י ה ז ר עוֹ; דּוֹר י שׁ ר ים י ב ר ך. upright shall be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house; and his merit endures for ג הוֹן-ו ע שׁ ר בּ ב יתוֹ; ו צ ד ק תוֹ, ע מ ד ת ל ע ד. ever. gracious, 4 Unto the upright He shines as a light in the darkness, ד ז ר ח בּ ח שׁ ך אוֹר, ל י שׁ ר ים; ח נּוּן ו ר חוּם ו צ דּ יק. and full of compassion, and righteous. 5 Well is it with the man that deals graciously and lends, that ה טוֹב-א ישׁ, חוֹנ ן וּמ ל ו ה; י כ ל כּ ל דּ ב ר יו בּ מ שׁ פּ ט. orders his affairs rightfully. 6 For he shall never be moved; the righteous shall be had in ו כּ י-ל עוֹל ם ל א-י מּוֹט; ל ז כ ר עוֹל ם, י ה י ה צ דּ יק. everlasting remembrance.

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16 MALES Strength of a Woman/Let s Hear it for the Boy!

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22 Disney and DreamWorks challenge gender stereotypes and images: Shrek and Mulan What makes FIONA and SHREK so different from the others? (did you know that shrek is Yiddish for monster??)

23 How does Mulan contradict the stereotypes of a female Disney character? image 1 Image 2 MULAN: The story source is a Chinese fable about a young girl who disguises herself as a man to help her family and her country. When the Huns attack China, a call to join the army goes out to every village, and Mulan's father, being the only man in the family, accepts the call. Mulan has just failed while meeting with the Matchmaker and decides to challenge society's expectations (of her being a bride). She steals her father's conscription notice, cuts her hair, and impersonates a man to join the army. She goes to boot camp, learning to fit in with the other soldiers with some help from her sidekick, Mushu, a wise-cracking dragon (voiced by Eddie Murphy) She trains, and soon faces the Huns eye-to-eye to protect her Emperor.

24 טז ז מ מ ה שׂ ד ה, ו תּ קּ ח הוּ; מ פּ ר י כ פּ יה, נטע (נ ט ע ה) כּ ר ם. יז ח ג ר ה ב עוֹז מ ת נ י ה; ו תּ אַמּ ץ, ז רוֹע ת יה. יח ט ע מ ה, כּ י-טוֹב ס ח ר הּ; ל א-י כ בּ ה בליל (ב לּ י ל ה) נ ר הּ. יט י ד י ה, שׁ לּ ח ה ב כּ ישׁוֹר; ו כ פּ יה, תּ מ כוּ פ ל ך. כ כּ פּ הּ, פּ ר שׂ ה ל ע נ י; ו י ד יה, שׁ לּ ח ה ל א ב יוֹן. כא ל א-ת יר א ל ב ית הּ מ שּׁ ל ג: כּ י כ ל-בּ ית הּ, ל ב שׁ שׁ נ ים. כב מ ר ב דּ ים ע שׂ ת ה-לּ הּ; שׁ שׁ ו אַר גּ מ ן ל בוּשׁ הּ. כד ס ד ין ע שׂ ת ה, ו תּ מ כּ ר; ו ח גוֹר, נ ת נ ה ל כּ נ ע נ י. 16 She considers a field, and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds her loins with strength, and makes strong her arms. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good; her lamp goes not out by night. [hardworking] 19 She lays her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. [women used to make all the clothing for the family] 20 She stretches out her hand to the poor; she reaches forth her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes for herself covers; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them; and delivers girdles unto the merchant. [the working woman]

25 כז צוֹפ יּ ה, הילכות (ה ל יכוֹת) בּ ית הּ; ו ל ח ם ע צ לוּת, ל א ת אכ ל. כח ק מוּ ב נ י ה, ו י אַשּׁ רוּה ; בּ ע ל הּ, ו י ה ל ל הּ. כט ר בּוֹת בּ נוֹת, ע שׂוּ ח י ל; ו אַתּ, ע ל ית ע ל-כּ לּ נ ה. ל שׁ ק ר ה ח ן, ו ה ב ל ה יּ פ י: א שּׁ ה י ר אַת-י הו ה, ה יא ת ת ה לּ ל. לא תּ נוּ-ל הּ, מ פּ ר י י ד יה ; ו יה ל לוּה ב שּׁ ע ר ים מ ע שׂ יה. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness [she is not lazy and works hard for everyone else] 28 Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises er: 29 'Many daughters have done valiantly, but you exceed them alll.' 30 Grace is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her works praise her in the gates. *For the Girls* Ashrei Ha ish (Psalms 112) Read this text from Psalms/Tehilim 112, more commonly sang nowadays to the man of the house as a partner to the traditional Woman of Valor/Eishet Chayil song. What does this say in a nutshell? What kind of praise is it giving men? How can a woman singing this song to a man be empowered herself? How can singing this song teach a woman to find self respect? Agree or disagree: When a woman sings this, she is acknowledging how well she is treated. You wouldn t refer to someone who is mean to you as righteous would you? So in singing this song to a man who you love, admire and respect, you are showing love and respect for yourself because you are acknowledging how wonderful it is to be treated with the kindness and kavod you deserve! Choose 5 qualities of man that this song highlights and use these qualities to create a song of appreciation to the boys. Serenade them!

26 Happy is the man that fears the LORD, that delights greatly in His אַשׁ ר י-א ישׁ, י ר א א ת-י הו ה; בּ מ צ ו ת יו, ח פ ץ מ א ד. commandments. 2 His seed shall be mighty upon earth; the generation of the ב גּ בּוֹר בּ אָר ץ, י ה י ה ז ר עוֹ; דּוֹר י שׁ ר ים י ב ר ך. upright shall be blessed. 3 Wealth and riches are in his house; and his merit endures for ג הוֹן-ו ע שׁ ר בּ ב יתוֹ; ו צ ד ק תוֹ, ע מ ד ת ל ע ד. ever. gracious, 4 Unto the upright He shines as a light in the darkness, ד ז ר ח בּ ח שׁ ך אוֹר, ל י שׁ ר ים; ח נּוּן ו ר חוּם ו צ דּ יק. and full of compassion, and righteous. 5 Well is it with the man that deals graciously and lends, that ה טוֹב-א ישׁ, חוֹנ ן וּמ ל ו ה; י כ ל כּ ל דּ ב ר יו בּ מ שׁ פּ ט. orders his affairs rightfully. 6 For he shall never be moved; the righteous shall be had in ו כּ י-ל עוֹל ם ל א-י מּוֹט; ל ז כ ר עוֹל ם, י ה י ה צ דּ יק. everlasting remembrance. stead-fast, 7 He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is ז מ שּׁ מוּע ה ר ע ה, ל א י יר א; נ כוֹן ל בּוֹ, בּ ט ח בּ יהו ה. trusting in the LORD. 8 His heart is established, he shall not be afraid, until he gaze upon ח ס מוּך ל בּוֹ, ל א י יר א; ע ד א שׁ ר-י ר א ה ב צ ר יו. ט פּ זּ ר, נ ת ן ל א ב יוֹנ ים-- ק ר נוֹ, תּ רוּם בּ כ בוֹד. צ ד ק תוֹ, ע מ ד ת ל ע ד; י ר שׁ ע י ר א ה, ו כ ע ס-- שׁ נּ יו י ח ר ק ו נ מ ס; תּ א ו ת ר שׁ ע ים תּ אב ד. his enemies. 9 He hath scattered abroad, he hath given to the needy; his righteousness endures for ever; his horn shall be exalted in honour. 10 The wicked shall see it, and be vexed; he shall gnash with his teeth, and melt away; the desire of the wicked shall perish.