A Jewish Ceremony for Newborn Girls

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Nicholas Bryan
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. A Jewish Ceremony for Newborn Girls: The Torah s Covenant Affirmed.

1 A Jewish Ceremony for Newborn Girls Sharon R. Siegel Published by Brandeis University Press Siegel, R.. A Jewish Ceremony for Newborn Girls: The Torah s Covenant Affirmed. Waltham: Brandeis University Press, Project MUSE., For additional information about this book No institutional affiliation (16 Nov :31 GMT)

2 Epilogue It is the eighth day following the birth of my youngest child. I sit upstairs in my home nursing my baby in anticipation of her Brit Bat. A few minutes later, I gently hand the baby to my father and join my mother and my husband, Dan, at the back of the living room downstairs. The baby emerges in my father s arms to the sound of our guests greeting the child with the traditional Hebrew welcome. My father sits in the specially designated Chair of Elijah, as our guests welcome Elijah with a prayer. The baby is then passed to my mother who has the honor of placing the child on Dan s tallit, which is spread out on the table in front of us. As the ceremony begins, I think about how the covenant encapsulates the essence of Jewish existence and the eternal relationship between God and the Jewish people. I reflect on how the covenant embodies the Jewish people s acceptance of God s commandments and God s promise to love the Jewish people in perpetuity, grant them a homeland, and multiply their numbers to match those of the stars. The ceremony also evokes for me the covenant s chain of generations and reminds me how much I miss my grandparents and my husband s grandfather. Dan s father is also in my heart as we use the tallit that belonged to him before his untimely passing thirty years ago. The baby is remarkably silent as the ceremony proceeds. Our daughter symbolically enters the covenant when Dan and I lovingly swaddle her in Dan s tallit. With her frilly pink dress obscured, our daughter lies there for a second, still wrapped up, until we pick her up to embrace her. She is swaddled in the warm embrace not only of her family, but also of the entire community of Israel. We recite traditional blessings, one of which expresses our hope that, just as she has entered the covenant, so will she be entered into a life that includes Torah, the marriage canopy, and good deeds. Our guests respond, echoing these wishes. I remember when we shared the same beautiful moment with our baby s older brother and sisters. In the final segment of the ceremony, Dan and I reveal our daughter s name for the first time to the eager anticipation of our family and friends. In the years

3 236 epilogue to come, when Tamar Sarit asks us how we welcomed her into the Jewish community, we will be proud to tell her what happened on her special eighth day, her first step toward what we pray will be a lifetime of Torah. As I write this epilogue, I think back to Tamar s Brit Bat, which occurred a year ago. It is unbelievable to me that writing this book has been my professional vocation for all of Tamar s life, as well as the culmination of my work from the previous eight years. I have spent countless hours in the library and in front of my computer, studied wide- ranging Jewish texts, and read numerous books and articles (both popular and scholarly). I have also spoken with many Jews across the spectrum of outlooks and beliefs. I never could have imagined the extent to which I have devoted myself to this project and how much of a passion it has become. My family has likewise become engrossed in this project; my parents read every word I write, and my three older children draw pictures to illustrate the book that they promise to read when they grow up. I also think back to the ceremonies Dan and I held for our daughters Dafna and Nurit and our son Yakir. I realize that the parallel texts that I typed up while pregnant for the first time (the pink program and the blue program ) have not changed much over the years. Each of the four ceremonies we held was indescribably joyous and, each time, our family and friends participated with us. I hope that the model Brit Bat ceremony, provided above, might enrich the experiences of others, as it has enriched mine. The covenant that stands at the heart of this ceremony is as traditional as the Torah itself, and classical sources demonstrate women s covenantal membership. By distinguishing between the covenant and male circumcision, we enable newborn girls to claim their full and rightful place in the covenant, and we commemorate this status with a substantive life- cycle event. Other ideas in this book incorporate, yet reframe, tradition. For example, historical Ashkenazic practices for new mothers and their offspring have inspired our conception of a first and only naming for girls. Furthermore, the central tallit swaddling ritual, while novel at first glance, emanates from a tapestry of traditional imagery, symbolism, and practices. In addition, the notion of adapting aspects of the circumcision liturgy is based on the observation that this liturgy s dual themes of circumcision and covenant, while tightly related, are separable.

4 epilogue 237 This book thus springs from a sincere desire to enhance and beautify Jewish practices from within our tradition. The same can be said for the full expanse of welcoming ceremonies for girls, as well as Bat Mitzvah rituals, women s Torah learning, and the countless Jewish customs that have evolved over time. Furthermore, this book has afforded me a distinct opportunity to study a range of Jewish texts. Learning Torah is a mainstay of Jewish life, and I hope that readers will enjoy delving into these sources as much as I have enjoyed doing so. A family friend asked me some time ago about my current occupation, and I responded that I am writing a book about Jewish practices for newborn girls. She replied, But everyone knows what to do; there s nothing to write about! I beg to differ, as this book demonstrates. As with any other area of Jewish law or practice (or any intellectual pursuit), there is always more to learn, and each exciting discovery leads to more interesting questions. Despite these good intentions, roadblocks are inevitable with any suggestions that threaten the status quo. I have no doubt that efforts to guide the development of practices for newborn Jewish girls will face challenges and controversy. Nonetheless, I believe that now is the right time to initiate a serious discussion about the future of these practices. Welcoming ceremonies for girls are here to stay and, on the whole, are today the result of expectations and existing models, not experimentation. Glimmers of commonality are even beginning to emerge. Correspondingly, there is a growing realization that the current Ashkenazic synagogue naming is, at best, insufficient or, at worst, demoralizing to families seeking to mark a substantive event. This is the time to affirm the Torah s covenant, as this book is subtitled, by clearly and consistently conveying girls admission into the covenant, a status that has until recently been marked only with silence. I have offered some ideas in this book; the rest is up to us.

COVENANTAL NAMING CEREMONIES IN JEWISH TRADITION Compiled and Edited by Rabbi Harry Rosenfeld

COVENANTAL NAMING CEREMONIES IN JEWISH TRADITION Compiled and Edited by Rabbi Harry Rosenfeld INTRODUCTION The Midrash tells us that, when a child is conceived, there are three partners: man, woman, and God. Indeed, there is nothing more compelling than this as evidence of God s existence. We express