The Priority of Relationships Mark 12:28-32 September 23, 2012 Ken Holden

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1 The Priority of Relationships Mark 12:28-32 September 23, 2012 Ken Holden When Pastor Steve first spoke with me about the possibility of preaching for him a few weeks, he also told me about your fall studies, Making Love Last a Lifetime and Growing Through Divorce. That got me thinking of possible sermons that might be supplemental to or enhance such studies. I consider both of these particular studies to be - at least in a general way - about relationships. Healthy or Unhealthy, looking forward or looking back - or both, growing or stagnant. Relationships - both studies relate to a spouse (husband or wife); and may relate to children, parents, in-laws, friends. So, today what I would like to do is begin a series of a few sermons on Relationships. But relationships in a broader context. Not only marital relationship principles, but LIFE relationship principles. Tom Holladay, the Teaching Pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, wrote a book called, The Relationship Principles of Jesus. Using Tom Holladay s book as a reference and the Gospels as our guide, I want us to consider Jesus on Relationships ; with the prayer that it too will also strengthen our marriages and homes - but also relationships at work and school and neighborhoods, and church families and ALL. Mark 12:28-34 [NIV] ********************* 28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, Of all the commandments, which is the most important? 29 The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31 The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. 32 Well said, teacher, the man replied. You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. 33 To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices. 34 When Jesus saw that he had answered wisely, he said to him, You are not far from the kingdom of God. And from then on no one dared ask him any more questions. ******************* Tom Holladay asks us to imagine. Imagine - someone saying to you, Without a friend like you, I wouldn t have made it through. Imagine your grown kids looking you in the eye and saying, No matter how busy you were when we were growing up, I always knew I was more important than any project or job.

2 Holladay is talking about relationships. If you look up relationship in a dictionary you you will notice that it is right beside relative. And that is how we most often think of relationships - those closest to us, our family or dear friends. But we are going to consider relationships in a broader, more complete sense. For it is true that when we have an interaction with anyone - known or unknown, near or far - that interaction establishes a relationship encounter. But before we start our journey of discovering the relationship principles of Jesus we need to be reminded of two truths: Truth #1 - Nothing is more important than relationships. One can thrive in a career, acquire wealth and reputation, even experience tremendous impact in a ministry. But if one s relationships are languishing, everything else seems faded and jaded. Truth #2 - Relationships aren t easy. Like the old saying, You can t live with them and you can t live without them. Or maybe you would describe them like the old Clint Eastwood movie, The Good, the Bad, the Ugly. Relationships can be painful, but they can also be wonderful. And while relationships can be bad, or even ugly; many of us would describe most of our relationships and relationship encounters as good. However, over the next few weeks let s ask ourselves, Are my relationships, is my relationship behavior Christlike? Let s consider Jesus On Relationships. I. Where do we begin? Let s begin with Jesus most significant, most succinct statement on the importance of relationships. Jesus answered, The most important is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There are no commandments greater than these two. [Mk. 12:29-30] In other words, Jesus is telling us that there is nothing more important than relationships! The context of this declaration on Mark s Gospel in a day when the religious leaders and authorities said, We have got to get him arrested. He is telling stories that shed a bad light on us. He is questioning our sincerity, our authority, our example. So they sent questioners to Jesus to try and trap him, get him frazzled, make him look bad. They asked him about taxes - to pay or not to pay. They asked him about marriage, multiple husbands, and whose wife will she be ; and other such inquiries. His answers just caused them to say, He s good. He s really good! Then a fellow from the edge of the crowd asked a question that seemed to be a bit more genuine, a bit more honest. He simply asks, Of all the commandments, which is the most important? Tom Holladay says, In Jesus answer we find the most important statement about relationships we ll ever hear. Jesus leaves no doubt as to the value and priority he places on relationships. -Our relationship with God and -Our relationship with each other.

3 The vertical - relationship with God. The horizontal - relationships with others. Two sides to one coin. Each side depending on and undergirding the other. One side revealing the source from which we get our power to love others. One side demonstrating our love for the One who created us and died for us. Nothing is more important than relationships! II. WHY Prioritize Relationships with God and others in your life? Well, first, because Jesus said that nothing is more important. When Jesus came to earth he demonstrated that he understood both the good, bad, & ugly of relationships, but also the glory of our relationships. He experienced both. And by the way, people were always jabbing at him because of his relationships. Look at him. He eats with sinners, harlots and tax collectors and foreigners and women and lepers. Others said, Look at him. He associates with the Pharisees and Sadducees and hypocritical religious do-gooders. These were all people in his world of relationships. And it was in these challenging and difficult relationships that Jesus found heavenly pleasure and brought glory to his Father. The Bible, human history for that matter, is about relationships. In the beginning, God created you and me for relationships. He made you to relate to Him and to others. If we miss that TRUTH we miss out on the essence of why God put us on this earth. Sure, relationships can be difficult and messy and even heartbreaking at times. So, we may desire, or at least allow lessor things to have priority over relationships. What lessor things? Money...Time...Material things...work...you name it. We may say, Who needs the headache? And, some relationships we can just choose not to have. Others - family or work associates - we can t walk away from but we can immerse ourselves in lessor things and become emotionally disengaged. III. HOW Do We Prioritize Relationships? FIRST, Remember! Remember that Jesus came to earth to begin a new relationship with you! A relationship in which you are offered an abundant life, and life eternal. It is a relationship that will strengthen ALL your relationships. It will happen as you look at Jesus life and learn from him a new way of relating to God and to others. SECOND, we make a choice. We honestly listen to Jesus and ask, What is most important? Not what is easiest? Not what am I most comfortable doing? Not even what brings me the most personal pleasure? But, what did Jesus say (command) about relationships and life? He said, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself. Make that your business - Loving God and Loving People.

4 A few years ago I preached a series of sermons that I thought might become a reason we exist or our church s vision kind of thing. We didn t adopt it as such but it always spoke to me. Maybe I was the one who needed it most! Anyway, it was outlined with these three statements: 1) Our Business 2) Our Mission 3) Our Product. Under Our Business were the words, Loving God and Loving People. One of our members came to me and said they felt uncomfortable with such corporate, secular language for a church or a Christian. I asked for the individual to hold judgment until I could explain why I used that language. I explained to my friend that it went back to the wonderful story by Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol. The scene takes place on Christmas Eve, the anniversary of Jacob Marley s death, as Ebenezer Scrooge is preparing for bed and restful sleep. But the ghost, Jacob Marley appears to Scrooge. Dickens describes it the scene this way: The Ghost...set up another cry, and clanked its chain hideously. No rest, no peace, it cried. Incessant torture of remorse. Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed, not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life s opportunities misused! Yet such was I! Oh, such was I! But you were always a good man of business, Jacob, faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself. Business! cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. Mankind was my business; charity, mercy, benevolence were all my business. My trade was but a drop of water in the ocean of my business! It held up its chain at arm s length and flung it heavily upon the ground again. At this time of the rolling year I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of fellow beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode? Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me? [A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens] business - The dictionary expresses many common thoughts such as occupation, commercial enterprise, trade, etc. Yet, the dictionary also defines business this way: One s rightful or proper concern or interest. and A person s principal concern. Loving God and Loving People. That is the business of the Church. That is the business of the Christian. Conclusion: We will talk more next week about these verses and exactly what it means to love God with ALL our heart, soul, mind and strength; and what it means to love others as we love ourselves. But today I pray that you and I will make a choice. We will choose to give relationships priority in our lives. Priority over lessor things. Why? Because we cannot do everything we may want to do.

5 Dr. Austin French, was delivering the Last Chapel address at Georgetown College a few years ago. He made one of those statements. You know, the kind that grab you and you can t shake off. Dr. French said that he often asked his children, If you can t have all the eggs you want in your basket; what eggs do you want in your basket? A life without relationships may well be a simpler life, but it is also an empty life. -Tom Holladay. Choose LIFE! [The Relationship Principles of Jesus, Tom Holladay, Zondervan Press, 2008]