Why are resolutions so short-lived?

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2 Traditionally, the beginning of the New Year is a time for resolutions. However, fewer and fewer people are engaging in this age-old custom. Perhaps most feel the effort is useless. How many resolutions have we made throughout our lives only to find we break them within the first few weeks of their institution? Indeed, Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said that Resolutions, like the good, die young. Why are resolutions so short-lived? Could it be that unless our determinations are rooted in a belief greater than our own longings and desires they fizzle and fade as quickly as the fireworks on New Year's Eve? Our own human effort is no match for the struggle, fatigue and complacency which the daily grind presents. Indeed, more often than not, when nothing greater than ourselves calls us to a higher ground we are content to remain in the valley -- or return to the valley after a feeble attempt to climb the height. But, if our resolutions are rooted in a belief that calls us to a greater degree of perfection, then we may be more resolved to see them through. For those of us who are Christian, our commitments should not only be rooted in a belief, they should be rooted in a person: the person of Jesus Christ, who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Through Him, with Him, and in Him, our resolutions can be the molders and shapers of our lives lives that reflect the majesty of the Father, the goodness of the Son, and the love of the Holy Spirit. To quote Archbishop Sheen again: Before conversion, it was behavior which to a large extent determined belief; after conversion, it is belief which determines behavior. To this end, I offer you seven resolutions. Not only can they keep us on track in this Year of Mercy, but they have the power to move us forward on our spiritual journey. Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 2

3 These resolutions come neatly packaged in an acronym based on the word R-E-S-O-L-V-E-D. Each resolution will help us to discover how New Year's resolutions rooted in Christ can be the key to healing, hope, and new life. First -- the R. RECOMMIT The new year heralds a new beginning. Feelings of rebirth and renewal excite the spirit and encourage the heart. Much like an expanse of fresh-fallen snow, the footprints of the last year have been erased, and the field of the new year awaits our imprint: the first solitary step which determines our new direction. What better first step than to recommit ourselves to Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives? Through His redemptive act our sins have been forgiven and Heaven s door has swung open for each of us. How grateful should be our hearts as we contemplate this great mystery of our salvation! And how filled with remorse for all of the ways we have offended God in the past year and in years gone by. Our act of recommitment, then, should be followed swiftly by true repentance for our sins and a firm purpose of amendment. Thus, that first step is one which immediately puts us in right relationship with God and gives us the redeeming grace we need to enter the new year in the will of the Father. Steeped in the mercy of God we move forward in peace and hope. Now the E. EXAMINE However, each of us knows that our path through the course of the year may not always be direct and straight because of concupiscence. Even as we firmly resolve with the help of God s grace to sin no more we are aware of our own personal frailties and sins the Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 3

4 effects of original sin. Therefore, we should resolve to examine our conscience on a daily basis. I would like to suggest two examines of conscience that are particularly beneficial. First, each night, we should objectively evaluate our behaviors of the day according to the Ten Commandments, the Eight Beatitudes, and the teachings of the Church. Our question should be, Given these standards, how well did I reflect the love of God? This must be done forthrightly and without rationalization. As we see our successes through the day, we should praise God for the grace He gave us to make the right choices. As we see our failures, we need to ask God to forgive us and to help us do better in the future. This general examination of conscience will keep the ways of God in the forefront of our minds. But each of us has areas of weakness that we know to be particularly difficult for us. Perhaps it is a certain sin we find ourselves committing time and time again. Perhaps it is a way of life to which we have succumbed: Do I contracept? Am I living with someone out of wedlock? Do I use pornography? Am I honest in my business dealings? Do I vote for life? Am I generous with my time, talent, treasure? Such an examination of conscience is called a particular examine and its special benefit is that it helps us to rid ourselves of habitual sin. Often, we become so accustomed to behaviors, unhealthy desires, and sinful thoughts that we no longer evaluate the devastating effect of the sin. Archbishop Fulton Sheen states, Nothing so much cripples the spiritual life as these hidden bugs in the motor of our souls, such as self-seeking, immorality, dishonesty and bitterness toward others...until that is dug out and laid before God, there can be no real progress in the spirit. By a particular examine we give ourselves the opportunity to dig out the sin, lay it before God, and begin to grow in a life of grace. I recommend that we sit quietly with the Lord and ask Him to reveal to us that one area of weakness He would have us work on this year. He Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 4

5 is sure to show it to us. And when He reveals it, please know that He is giving the grace to overcome it. The word Resolved provides us with an opportunity to fashion our new year s resolutions around an acronym that helps us make progress on the path of holiness. We ve looked at the importance of Recommitment to Jesus Christ and two types of Examinations of Conscience. Each of these enable us to take a confident step forward on our spiritual journey. Next we will see that without the wisdom provided by the S and the O, we will never reach the depths of union to which God beckons us. SURRENDER The S in the acronym R-E-S-O-L-V-E-D stands for Surrender. For many, the word is repugnant. It smacks at our sense of pride, deflates our self-reliance, and pummels our individualism. It sounds negative and causes us to react negatively. Perhaps it is so because we confuse surrender with defeat. Defeat implies the usurpation of rights and dignity, forced acquiescence, passive submission. Defeat strips us of choice and privilege and is thrust upon us like a cloak of dishonor. Spiritual surrender, however, has nothing to do with loss. It has everything to do with gain. Spiritual surrender is an active response to an invitation the invitation of a Lover to His beloved, the Bridegroom to His bride. It is the invitation to be spiritually fecundated and vivified by the Father, through the Son, by way of the Holy Spirit. Spiritual surrender is the sweet surrender to the Lover s embrace. In its essence, spiritual surrender is our fiat to the One we love. We say yes and the will of the Father is manifest. We say yes and the Son is conceived in the womb of our heart. We say yes and the breath of the Holy Spirit moves us, lifts us, and gives us interior flight. We say yes and behold everything is made new (Rev. 21:5). Surrender takes us into the very heart of the Trinitarian Life. But it is not a one-time deal. Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 5

6 While it begins with a deliberate and conscious choice for Jesus Christ, we must renew our surrender many times a day and countless numbers of times throughout our life. Each time we avoid the near occasion of sin, it is surrender. Each time we successfully resist temptation, it is surrender. Each time we say no to the opportunity to malign our fellow man, it is surrender. Each time we unite to the passion of Jesus a difficult circumstance of life, a tribulation, reversal, contradiction, or sorrow, it is surrender. And when we are torn and bruised, scarred and marred, ridiculed and mocked for love of God, it is surrender. A surrender joined to the cross of Christ the place where saints are made. It is a constant looking up to the Light of Love that leads us in the way we should go. OBEDIENCE Obedience to God is the way we live out our surrender to Him. By following the Ten Commandments and using Scripture as our moral compass, we make great progress in finding and following the expressed will of God. St. Francis de Sales tells us: Christian doctrine clearly proposes unto us the truths which God wills that we should believe, the goods He will have us hope for, the pains He will have us dread, what He will have us love, the commandments He will have us observe and the counsels He desires us to follow. And this is called God s signified will, because He has signified and made manifest unto us that it is His will and intention that all this should be believed, hoped for, feared, loved, and practiced." This requires us, then, to be obedient to God --- By obeying the commandments of God and the precepts of the Church. By conforming to the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience in a manner consistent with our state in life. By heeding the inspirations of grace, also called the promptings of the Holy Spirit. It is as we work to fulfill these commands of God through obedience that we purge our selfwill and our surrender becomes complete. St. Paul tells us: Put off your old nature which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the Spirit of your minds (Eph 4:22). Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 6

7 By following the Ten Commandments, using Scripture as our moral compass, and following the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, we do much to make great spiritual progress and to move forward in the way of surrender and obedience. Already the acronym R-E-S-O-L-V-E-D has given us much to ponder regarding New Year Resolutions and the spiritual life. We have discovered that a recommitment to Jesus Christ coupled with a daily examination of conscience, fortified by surrender and obedience, does much to lead us on the path to holiness. Now, we will find out that the L and the V in the acronym lead us a few steps closer to our goal. LISTENING Someone once said that God gave us one mouth and two ears and this indicates to us what is most important. Indeed, in the spiritual life, the two ears are most important. But not the ears attached to either side of our head. Rather the ears of our heart wherein we hear the voice of God. Remember what God revealed to the prophet Elijah about the way in which He speaks to us: Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound. When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave (1 Kings 19: 11-13). The voice of God was heard in the quiet whisper, not in the tumult and confusion as St. Francis de Sales puts it, we hear the voice of God way down deep in the bottom of our heart. And it is through this still, small voice that we discover God s will and direction for us, the revelation of the mystery to which He invites us, and the unconditional and never failing love that He has for us. Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 7

8 Therefore, key to our growth in the spiritual life is Listening to God. How, then, do we develop our spiritual ears? First, we listen for God s voice in our time of prayer. As we humbly sit before the Lord, our hearts and minds may be filled with thoughts, ideas, or intimations. When these thoughts are in conformity to Sacred Scripture and the teachings of the Church, then the voice we are hearing is most likely God s. Remember that God uses all of the faculties of the human person to express Himself to us. He uses our imagination, our intellect, our emotions, and our desire so as to make His word known. During prayer whether it be Lectio-Divina, the Rosary, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, or any other devotional or prayer our attitude of heart must be one of listening, and our interior condition one of receptivity so that we may hear all God has in mind for us. Yet another way we hear the word of God is through others. Spouses, spiritual directors, pastors, provincials, superiors are all used by God to make His will known. For this reason, we should choose our holy advisors with prudence and wisdom. They should be men and women known for their conformity to the teachings of the Church; they should be individuals who are more advanced than we are on the spiritual journey; they should be men and women whose own lives testify to prayer and truth. Though not perfect, our holy advisors should be engaged in a dynamic pursuit of holiness and the life of faith. VIRTUE Submitting to good counsel keeps us humble and obedient to the will of God. It prevents us from moving in wrong directions. It helps us attain a docility of heart, a teachableness, which encourages our spiritual growth and maturation. And it helps us move forward to the next resolution that helps us on our holy way a practice of the Virtues. St. Teresa of Avila once said the best way to progress in the spiritual life is to practice Virtue. Virtues are broken into two main categories -- the theological virtues and the moral virtues. The theological virtues of faith, hope and charity are given to us in our baptism. They are called theological virtues because they direct us toward God and enable us to come into Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 8

9 direct spiritual contact with Him. As we practice the theological virtues we grow in knowledge of God, trust in God, and love of God. The moral virtues relate to our daily life and tend toward our neighbor. They are justice, temperance, fortitude, and prudence. Justice demands that we give each human person the right and honorable respect that he is due as a child of God. Temperance is moderation and control of our own desires and physical pleasures. Fortitude is a strength of soul which leads to patient endurance in times of trial or persecution. And prudence is that virtue which enables us to judge what is morally right under given circumstances. Virtue is the antidote for vice. When we choose to practice the virtues, we effectively combat sin and weakness, despair and presumption. In addition, we grow in character and moral strength. C. S. Lewis states, Virtue -- even attempted virtue -- brings light; indulgence brings fog. We have discovered that New Year resolutions, rooted in Christ and prayerfully chosen, can lead us along the path to holiness. Now we come to the last two resolutions for the New Year using the acronym, R-E-S-O-L-V-E-D. We have seen that the R leads us to recommit our life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ; the E encourages us to a daily examination of conscience; S and O go together -- surrender to God and obedience; to grow in the ways of God we need the L and the V, listening to Him and living the virtues. And now, all is summed up in the E and the D -- Eucharist and Dedication. These final two resolutions should be our greatest. EUCHARIST In this new year, may we resolve to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament as frequently as possible. The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1324). It is through the Body and Blood of Jesus, Our Lord, that we are nourished, fortified, strengthened, and renewed. Recall the words Jesus spoke to the Jews as recorded in the Gospel of St. John in Chapter 6 at Verse 53, Let me solemnly assure you, if you do not eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life within you. Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 9

10 He who feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has life eternal, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood real drink. The man who feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him. Nowhere is the value of the Eucharist written more clearly or stated so succinctly. In His own words, Jesus tells us that His Eucharistic Presence brings us eternal life. How privileged are we that we can receive Him every day at Holy Mass! How humbled are we that the God of all creation should manifest Himself in the poverty of bread and wine so that we, His creatures, may have intimate communion with Him! The eminent theologian and author, Father Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, O.P. ( ), known as one of the Church s all-time greatest authorities on the spiritual life, says this about the disposition of heart we should bring to our reception of the Eucharist: Let us remind ourselves that each of our Communions ought to be substantially more fervent than the preceding, since each of them ought to increase the love of God in us, and thus dispose us to receive our Lord with a greater fervour of will on the following day (The Three Conversions of the Spiritual Life). Father Garrigou-Lagrange s statement presupposes two things: that we come to receive Eucharist with fervency to begin with; and that we are receiving the Sacred Species frequently, if not daily, thus increasing the love of God in us. We would do well to examine our conscience as to the degree of fervency we bring to our reception of Holy Communion and to what extent we try to receive more often than once a week. Let us resolve to spend some time in prayerful preparation before receiving Our Lord. Let us contemplate this sacred mystery and the reality of Who it is we are about to receive. Let us beg God to make our hearts a fitting tabernacle to receive Him, a holy ark to carry Him, an empty vessel readied to be filled by Him, and a fount of mercy to share Him with others. And this brings us to the last letter in our New Year s acronym. Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 10

11 DEDICATION The D in the word Resolved stands for Dedication: the state of being wholly committed to something, as to an ideal. We must be dedicated, wholly committed to the ideals set before us in the resolutions we have made. This requires we remind ourselves of them often, evaluate ourselves against them regularly, seek to conform ourselves to them daily, and make the necessary adjustments mindfully. If we are willing, with steadfast Dedication, to seriously advance along the path we have set out upon, next year at this same time, we will have realized significant spiritual growth and a deeper appreciation and understanding of the One Who is our God. May Jesus Christ bring to completion the good work He has begun in us (Philippians 1:6)! A sincere practice of the virtues involves a determination to choose for God in the midst of every circumstance and situation. It requires we lay our desire for human respect at the altar of righteousness. It binds us to speak the truth at all times though to speak it with love. It encourages us to put aside our own wants and desires, perhaps our natural inclinations and tendencies, and to choose instead the higher road. It calls us to the summit of Christian living a life lived for love of God and not for love of self. Sanctity, true sanctity, is evidenced by virtue. For more information about Johnnette Benkovic or Women of Grace visit Copyright 2016 Johnnette S. Benkovic Page 11