Priestly Fatherhood IPF SPIRITUAL DIRECTION TRAINING PROGRAM MUNDELEIN SEMINARY 2016

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1 Priestly Fatherhood IPF SPIRITUAL DIRECTION TRAINING PROGRAM MUNDELEIN SEMINARY 2016

2 As always the boy is looking to explore, discover and see new things these desires are only satisfied fully in a deep living relationship with God. The best persons to introduce this adventure to the boy are the men who have already suffered, and now enjoy, this exploration of the soul namely spiritual fathers

3 Only by praying together with his children can a father exercising his royal priesthood, penetrate the innermost depths of his children s hearts and leave an impression that future events will not be able to efface (JPII, FC 60).

4 A good father, one who is open to both the moral and spiritual life, acts to protect the mystery of love that he freely entered and to which he committed himself: marriage and the family. This mystery is encountered in his love for his bride, his love for their children, and the gift of family-- a gift that arises out of two freedoms saying yes in trust of the God who authors all love.

5 The parish priest exists to offer his life in sacrifice so that Christ can continue to act in time, extending His salvific presence in and through sacramental signs. Primarily we call a priest Father because he lays down his life for those whom he loves, for those whom Christ loves, the children of God (Jn 1:12; 1 Cor 4:14 15; Gal 4:19). It has been said that fathers are more dispensable than mothers as it is in the man s nature to give up his life for his family. So it is with priests as they allow the mystery of Christ s own paternity to guide their level of sacrifice for the parish. Dads, who suffered grace and virtue, are more willing to take risks, put themselves in danger in order to protect their wives and children. That protectiveness, which is found in the natural order, establishes the paradigm for the protectiveness to which priestfathers are called to as well.

6 Spiritual fathers Think of how courageous Maximillian Kolbe was giving his life for the life of a family. This family forever called Kolbe their father in faith. Or the thousands who came to Ven. Solanus Casey s funeral or St John Vianney s funeral. These spiritual children were generated by these priests, priests who gave their lives for the spiritual welfare of their people. And who can forget our own formidable spiritual father, John Paul II. It was estimated 2 billion spiritual children watched his funeral on TV.

7 Whether you are a priest or a dad, your life as a father is NOT about you; it is about the needs of others. The call received is one that leads into a life of sacrifice. The priest and the father are allies, encouraging one another to go the extra mile in serving the spiritual welfare of those under their care. John Paul II said it this way: The father in and for the family is of unique and irreplaceable importance his absence causes notable difficulties [by his] witness he introduces the children into the living experience of Christ and His Church (FC 25).

8 This witness is fundamentally a witness to the father s commitment to love unto death. This is the crux of true availability to his wife and children. All husbands and fathers know that the immature and unhealed interior dispositions which serve to satisfy the ego (the residue of the bachelor life) can be purified in fidelity to the daily commitments of his vocation. This purification is developmental and relational in its core as the man allows the self-offering of Christ to define his interiority.

9 Protect the Mystery Fatherhood, in its spiritual core, is the gift of self donation precisely to protect and deepen that part of the mystery of Christ one has been given. To effectively foster holiness, the father of the family and the father of the parish must unite to EXPLICITLY FATHER TOGETHER. The emotionally and spiritually distant father must become a thing of the past. Assisting in this healing, the priest will restore and deepen the affective health of future seminarians as well as these sons will no longer go to seminary looking for a father but instead having been sent by one. Priests and Dads together assist a boy in coming to full, mature stature in Christ (Eph 4:13).

10 The Father loves Christ...Christ wants us to know we are loved he wants us to receive the blessing of the Father as He did Receiving this blessing is a way of life christ received the smile of the Father (Balthasar) and tasted freedom from within their communion, within their relationship. This is the gift of the father to initiate love.

11 The father is the authority of love who offers himself. Jesus has authority because he is the love of the father in the flesh. Christ reveals the Father s love but St. Joseph also embodies this love as a model. In the New Testament Joseph is the first to reveal the Mystery of the Father s love. He is the first to listen to see and protect the mystery of Divine love as a man. He protects the mystery because of His fidelity to what He heard from God in a dream and what he saw in Mary.

12 A woman becomes a mother by touching, feeling a baby, having physical union with him or her. A man becomes a father by beholding and listening to the one who has union with the child already instruct him how to love. He becomes a father by beholding the child. The father is bound to his children by his gaze by his contemplation of their beauty. Jesus brought people into his fatherly love by first seeing them (Matt. 9:36-38 he saw the crowds with compassion, they were like sheep without a shepherd; lk 7:13-15,, matt 9:9;Matt 8:14-15), beholding them and then healing them. We only begin our road masculine maturation and holiness by first seeing the poor after allowing ourselves to be seen by the Father. Adam, where are you? Here is the gift of the father, the masculine Did your Father behold you in love? Did you receive this love and therefore become mature in the ways of giving and receiving?

13 You are my beloved son Your Father beholds you in love

14 Listen to the Bride Also, can you let the Bride (the church, Mary) teach you how to see? Teach you To behold your children in order act for their welfare, while simultaneously carrying within your heart the internalized love that you have for the Bride? Joseph built a house in Nazareth to protect the mystery, to protect the relationships, the communion of Mary, Jesus and himself all within the embrace of God the Father. Joseph himself ministered the mystery of God s loving initiative to His Son Jesus, joseph protected the mystery by recalling the beauty of the Jesus mother s Yes, about his own Yes to Mary and God, a yes secured by Mary s own willingness to be Mother. -

15 The priest is irreplaceable just as one s own father is irreplaceable. Others may do similar actions, but none can be present in certain actions in the way that only my father and only our priest can. A boy may say to the man who married his widowed or divorced mother, Are you trying to be my dad? no one can be my dad. Certain presences and only those presences can mediate particular actions to the point of bearing their full fruit. A man from the parish congregation can lead intercessory prayers, share Scripture, and catechize, but if he dons a Chasuble, the Church would say, Are you trying to be our priest? No one can replace our priest.

16 No one can replace you

17 The male strength is service (Mt 10:43ff), endurance (Ex 34:6 longsuffering), and self-sacrifice (the Paschal Mystery Eph 5:25,32). Spousal love that finds its expression in continence for the kingdom of heaven must lead in its normal development to fatherhood in the spiritual sense (i.e. fruitfulness of the holy Spirit [Only mary and joseph who lived the mystery of the Christ s birth became the first witnesses of a fruitfulness different from that of the flesh, that is, the fruitfulness of the Spirit n,75:2] in a way analogous to conjugal love, which matures in physical fatherhood and is confirmed in [him] precisely as spousal love. TOB 76:3

18 When Christ calls a man away from marriage he does so only so that such a man is free in Christ to serve all marriages and families. Christ never asks priests not to be husbands and fathers. Instead He asks them to husband and father in the same embodied way He does: chastely and in a life of celibacy.

19 Anyone who loves God in the depths of his heart has already been loved by God. In fact, the measure of a man s love for God depends on how deeply aware he is of God s love for him. Diadochus of Photice, Treatise on Spiritual Perfection I remember being on retreat and being asked to reflect on God the Father s love for me. The memory that came to me in prayer was as a young boy, after bathing, running to my father to have him dry my hair. He would take the towel and rub my scalp so fast and hard that my head felt like it was on fire. My father, like most men, is not a man of many words or emotions, but in this simple act, his love was pouring out for me.

20 I can vividly remember when my father came home each day from work to greet his wife and eight kids, how when he came through the door the younger kids would gather around him, he would ascend the stairs and kiss his wife and ask her how her day had gone. Only after that short but essential greeting would he begin to play with us. My father taught me the primacy of loving and respecting your spouse. As a priest, my spouse is the Church, and I need to love and respect her each day.

21 PATERNAL AUTHORITY It seemed to happen every Spring and Fall. We would be out raking the yard with my dad, it would begin to sprinkle, one of my sisters would YELL, Dad, it s raining! My dad would pause from racking, look up and respond, I ll tell you when it is raining.. he understood the proper role of authority The exercise of authority is a gift and a responsibility. It can certainly be abused, but that does not discount its proper role in a family, government or Church.

22 SACRIFICE I remember, as a boy, getting up to go to swim practice at 5:00 am in the middle of the Wisconsin winter. I would go and wake up my dad, who would start his day by driving me to the YMCA. Did my dad want to get up? I know a part of him wanted to sleep in. But whatever part of him that was, he sacrificed it for the sake of my swimming. I can also remember my Dad driving us from home to the beach for summer vacation every year. It would take almost a whole day, straight through, to make the drive. My dad would take us to the Shore, stay for about a week, and then head back home to work for the rest of the summer, while we stayed at the beach. Then, at the end of the summer, he would come get us, and drive back home. Did my Dad want to drive to ocean with 5 squirrely kids in the car? Did he want to spend the summers by himself working, while we were at the beach? I m sure that a part of him wanted to stay with us, and a part of him wanted us to stay with him. But whatever part of him that was, he sacrificed it for the sake of our summers at the Shore.

23 [T]he capacity to accept suffering for the sake of goodness is an essential criterion of humanity. In the end, even the yes to love is a source of suffering, because love always requires expropriations of my I, in which I allow myself to be pruned and wounded. Love simply cannot exist without this painful renunciation of myself, for otherwise it becomes pure selfishness and thereby ceases to be love. (Pope Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi, 38) In this life love takes the form of the cross.in heaven love is pure unobstructed reciprocity.

24 "Amen, amen, I say to you, a son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees his father doing; for what he does, his son will do also. For the Father loves his Son and shows him everything that he himself does, --- John 5: I also have a deeper appreciation for the gift of the priestly vocation, which has always been precious to me. Some men are called to renounce self, take up their cross, and follow Him in persona Christi. The world thinks this folly, but I see it more clearly as the ultimate act of generosity, which should bring happiness and satisfaction to the individual as he takes up his cross. I see this in my son s life and am blessed to have him near me in this time, not only as a caregiver, but also as my priest, celebrating daily Mass as well as other sacraments that only a priest can offer. These generous and loving acts of care offered by my son have shown me God s salvation plan of getting to the Father through the Son. I was once my son s sport coach, and now he is coaching me back to the Father; like a third base coach telling me which side of the base to slide into. The roles of the father and son have not only reversed but have become one, I am just known as the older father Letter from dad about his priest son

25 The Person exists as a relation, being related is who a person is..ratzinger (Communio, Fall 1990). We actively create our identities in our gift of self to another. (It is not good for man to be alone) Masculinity is fulfilled in fatherhood to be a man is to be one who initiates and generates life leading to his responsibility to protect defend and provide for the life he generated. (Carter Griffin, Supernatural Fatherhood through Priestly Celibacy (2011) p 81

26 St John Eudes noted that above all the priest is the real father of the children of God, with a heart filled with paternal love. He nourishes the flock with the true provision of the sacraments, to clothe the faithful with Christ, to enrich them with blessings and secure for them assistance in the salvation of their souls. Above all else a priest is the father of the poor, widows, orphans and strangers. (the Priest, His Dignity and Obligations, Loreto publications, 2008)

27 Initiate As initiator, the Father is the first to love The man initiates love with the woman but then after that he never loves again in independence from that that communion. All is done in communion with the spouse (church) for the welfare of the children (laity). Where there is no love put love and you will find love (john of the cross) that is the father The father is in the service of preventing love from growing cold Mt 24:12

28 Teach The priest exercises his fatherhood through his office of governing, teaching and sanctifying. The Eucharist is the summit of a priest s paternity since it is through the Eucharist that Christ is generated. The priest also generates supernatural life through teaching and preaching as he remains faithful to the truth even as the lives of his people are in tumult or disarray there is the father proclaiming hope and truth, the fidelity of God and stability.

29 Brothers and sisters Finally the priest remains with his people in a relationship of authority and guidance so they might come into their full stature as Christ. Paternity does not mean paternalism.the priest, like a good father, wants the children to mature, become independent and so lead lives of self giving. The priest is to raise brothers and sisters in Christ not dependent children.

30 Scripture references "I do not write this to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel" (1 Cor. 4:14 15). "My little children, with whom I am again in travail until Christ be formed in you!" (Gal. 4:19). "She who is at Babylon, who is likewise chosen, sends you greetings; and so does my son Mark" (1 Pet. 5:13). (2 Cor. 12:14) "No greater joy can I have than this, to hear that my children follow the truth" (3 John 4). REAL DAD STUFF