Restorying God: Re-Imagining The God of The Bible and Re-Enchanting Our Neo-Secular Selves

Transcription

1 Digital George Fox University Doctor of Ministry Theses and Dissertations Restorying God: Re-Imagining The God of The Bible and Re-Enchanting Our Neo-Secular Selves Robert Joseph Burnham rburnham09@georgefox.edu This research is a product of the Doctor of Ministry (DMin) program at George Fox University. Find out more about the program. Recommended Citation Burnham, Robert Joseph, "Restorying God: Re-Imagining The God of The Bible and Re-Enchanting Our Neo-Secular Selves" (2016). Doctor of Ministry. Paper This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Theses and Dissertations at Digital George Fox University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Doctor of Ministry by an authorized administrator of Digital George Fox University. For more information, please contact arolfe@georgefox.edu.

2 GEORGE FOX UNIVERSITY RESTORYING GOD: RE-IMAGINING THE GOD OF THE BIBLE AND RE-ENCHANTING OUR NEO-SECULAR SELVES A DISSERTATION SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF GEORGE FOX EVANGELICAL SEMINARY IN CANDIDACY FOR THE DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF MINISTRY By R. JOSEPH BURNHAM PORTLAND, OREGON FEBRUARY 2016

3 George Fox Evangelical Seminary George Fox University Portland, Oregon CERTIFICATE OF APPROVAL DMin Dissertation This is to certify that the DMin Dissertation of R. Joseph Burnham has been approved by the Dissertation Committee on February 25, 2016 for the degree of Doctor of Ministry in Leadership and Spiritual Formation. Dissertation Committee: Primary Advisor: AJ Swoboda, PhD Secondary Advisor: Leonard Hjalmarson, DMin

4 Copyright 2016 by R. Joseph Burnham. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are taken from the Common English Bible, copyrighted 2012 by Common English Bible. ii

5 To those between secularism and religiosity: May we know the one who is immanent-transcendence and discover a life of tangible-enchantment. iii

6 TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ABSTRACT viii x CHAPTER 1: NECESSARY PRELIMINARIES Life Between Two Imaginaries 1 A Pastor Walks into an Art Gallery 9 The Making of Me 13 The Journey from the Preliminaries 18 CHAPTER 2: JESUS AND THE DIVINE IMAGINARY Why Begin with Christ? 20 Overlord of All Creation 22 Matthew: Jesus as Son of Abraham and David 23 Mark: Will You Take the Road from Exile? 34 Luke: A Second Adam Starting a New Lineage 45 John: Jesus Reveals Glory on God s Terms 59 The Foundation of the Divine Imaginary 71 CHAPTER 3: WESTERN IMAGINARIES AND ROMANS Learning to Read Jesus 75 Christus Victor and the Early Church 81 Satisfaction s Emergence in Medieval Christendom 85 Reforming Satisfaction in the Reformation 89 Reconsidering Judaism with the New Perspective 94 Romans Through the Eyes of the Divine Imaginary 99 iv

7 Where We Find Ourselves 122 CHAPTER 4: EMBODYING THE DIVINE IMAGINARY IN A NEO-SECULAR AGE Back to the Start 125 Disembedding and Reembedding 127 Preaching the Divine Imaginary 132 Cultivating the Divine Imaginary 137 Traumatic Disembedding 142 CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION Transplanting After Trauma 146 Where to Go From Here 152 A Return to the Art Gallery 154 BIBLIOGRAPHY 156 APPENDIX A: AUTOETHNOGRAPHY 164 APPENDIX B: SIGNS IN THE GOSPEL OF JOHN 177 APPENDIX C: RETHINKING FORMATION 180 v

8 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I want to thank my Advisor A. J. Swoboda, Editor and Guide Donna K. Wallace, Second Reader Len Hjalmarson, and the professors of George Fox s Doctor of Ministry in Leadership and Spiritual Formation for not only creating space to think, pray, and struggle, but providing material to press me into new realms of thought, prayer, and wrestling. Thank you to the dedicated staff who did so much behind the scenes (Heather, Adam, and Andy). To my cohort, thank you for embracing me and repeatedly reminding me of who I am. It has been a gift to journey with you, be it in an online discussion, a classroom, or over a meal, or my favorite, the post-meal beverage at Bill s. Cliff Berger, thank you for Bentonville dinners and for visiting a Civil War battlefield with me, both so I could experience grace and feel normal when life was anything but. Chuck Conniry and Loren Kerns, thank you for grace, for living the Gospel, and for taking a risk by welcoming me back with open arms. Thank you to Jason Clark who spoke kind words to a broken soul and helped me get back on my feet again. Thank you to my parents, Bob and Kathy Burnham and Venita Burleson. Thank you to my remaining grandparent, Nana Burleson. Thank you to my beloved Granny, who left this world while I was a student and will celebrate my receiving this degree from the other side of eternity. Grandpa, you have been missed so much the past nine years, but your memory continues to bless and encourage me. To all of you, your love, care, and encouragement has been fuel to persist through this process. To my son, Robbie. While you captured my heart the moment I saw an image of you, your embrace and love when life was so confusing for us all inspired me. Learning vi

9 to be the dad you deserve is both a gift and a joy. Here s to more learning! Oh, and during this dissertation season, thank you for persistently reminded me to take time away from the books and screen to have fun. You have been so good for my health even if your nine year old motivations were less pure. Kiana, my wife. No words are sufficient. You have been my encouragement, strength, and rock. More than that, there is no person on this planet that has imaged Jesus to me with such power, frequency, and clarity. Through you I am discovering the kind of grace that both captivates and terrifies me, which makes me think you are showing me what immanent-transcendence is like. I love you more than words can express and pray my words, actions, and honesty can increasingly show you the same kind of love. Finally, despite the cliché, thank you to the Triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. After forty-one years I feel like I am just meeting you. Please grant me at least another forty-one to bask in your mystery, delve deeper into your revelation, and live out the tangible-enchantment you have prepared for me to do. vii

10 ABSTRACT The Western world has undergone dramatic transformation in the last five hundred years. A premodern world became modern and then postmodern. In the terms of philosopher Charles Taylor, the Western social imaginary the collection of images and ideas that define human flourishing and guide a populous through daily life has shifted from one of transcendent-enchantment to immanent-disenchantment. Christianity, a once singular Roman Catholic Church, is a diversity of denominations that, despite best efforts and intentions, are watching people of all demographic groups join a mass exodus in body, soul, or both from the church. However, one would be mistaken to denounce those leaving as unspiritual. Rather, like their spiritual but not religious counterparts, they are seeking a sense of enchantment beyond what they found at church. So how can the Church respond? Using the quantitative research methodology of autoethnography, Chapter One offers the life of the author as a catalyst to explore a recommended response from the Church toward those leaving as seekers. Chapter Two uses the New Testament s Gospel accounts to define a Divine Imaginary images and pictures God uses to describe human flourishing and guide God s people through daily life. Chapter Three turns to historic interpretations of Romans, a text at the core of many Western theologies, in an attempt to both understand the development of Western Christianity and set the stage for reading of Romans according to the Divine Imaginary. Chapter Four takes a practical turn by exploring homiletics, social action, and the church s response to trauma as paths to form people according to the Divine Imaginary. Chapter Five combines topics for further study and paths to implement change. viii

11 CHAPTER ONE NECESSARY PRELIMINARIES Life Between Two Imaginaries On October 31, 2017, the Western world will celebrate the five hundredth anniversary of the Protestant Reformation as it remembers a then unknown and irrelevant Martin Luther posting his Ninety-Five Theses Against Indulgences on the Castle Church door in Wittenberg, Germany. Based on the preparatory work this author witnessed during two trips to Wittenberg in the fifteen years prior to the anniversary, it will be an impressive celebration. Simultaneously, it is doubtful the event will hold anything beyond historical significance to those in the once East German city or the post-christian West. In other words, a night that changed the global landscape and transformed the faith of millions over the coming centuries, is now predominantly a significant historical event with a religious sidebar. The journey of how the West made the rapid transition from a society where life without God was incomprehensible to one where some find the very idea of faith in God untenable is the subject of philosopher Charles Taylor s tome, A Secular Age. The exploration, which won Taylor both the Templeton and Kyoto awards for affirming and bettering life s spiritual dimension, uses the concept of the social imaginary, a blend of images, stories, and ideas that define a society s understanding of human flourishing and create the expectations that allow people to move through life and 1

12 2 make sense of existence. Elsewhere, James Smith describes social imaginaries as worldviews for the heart instead of the mind. 1 Briefly, Taylor demonstrates how, in the premodern age, people perceived themselves as captives of the world. This earth was a place of mystery and enchantment. Natural and spiritual forces were active and threatening. Humans were passive agents seeking to survive in a dynamic world. Hope was only offered by a distant deity who depending on one s relationship might offer protection and blessing in the midst of the chaos. Nine hundred years ago, ideas were planted in the European Renaissance suggesting this view of the world was inaccurate. These ideas began to take root four hundred years later and continued to grow until they bloomed and created the secular West. The transition began as humanity s self-perception moved from one of captivity to control, with people both recognizing and demonstrating their ability to assert authority over creation. Scientists and philosophers began to study and understand things that once seemed a mystery, stripping away at the creation s enchantment. With increasing disenchantment, these social leaders started wondering if creation was the appropriate word; a move one step away from concluding that because transcendent gods only served to defend people from an enchanted world, in a world of immanence the Divine is unnecessary. Five-hundred years from transcendent-enchantment to disenchantedimmanence from revolutionary Reformer to spiritual sidebar Martin Luther going 1 James K.A. Smith, Desiring the Kingdom: Worship, Worldview, and Cultural Formation (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2009), 68; Charles Taylor, Modern Social Imaginaries (Durham, NC: Duke University Press Books, 2003). For more on social imaginaries, see chapter two of Taylor s, Modern Social Imaginaries.

13 3 full circle, with his teaching as unknown and irrelevant today as the day it was nailed to the Wittenberg Door. 2 For the purposes of this dissertation, this historical background sets the stage for two significant modern realities. First, there is a genuine sense in the heart of millions that something is missing from the disenchanted-immanence of secularism. To be clear, this dissertation is first and foremost about those sensing this absence. Second, while the Christian church is not effectively speaking into the void, the world is aggressively doing that very thing through what is best termed not as post-secularism but neo-secularism. 3 Both points will be addressed, starting with a general sense that something is missing. In How (Not) to be Secular, philosopher and theologian James Smith unpacks Taylor s work, which identifies secular humans as the buffered-self, in that people are theoretically guarded from external forces and autonomously in control of life. At the same time, despite our buffers, most people, while not wanting to reject secularism, are simultaneously unsatisfied with the sterility of pure reason and long for a sense of enchantment, that is, something beyond us that gives life meaning, significance, and purpose. In another work, Desiring the Kingdom, Smith argues people long for enchantment because humanity s anthropology is not fundamentally one of thinking or 2007). 2 Charles Taylor, A Secular Age (Cambridge: The Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 3 Some, including renown philosopher Jürgen Habermas, believe society is now in a post-secular age due to the failure of the modern project as seen through the postmodern philosophical critique. It argues that faith and science need to engage in mutually respectful and beneficial dialogue. However, given the author s sitz im leben, both as a resident of urban Denver and an REI employee, I am convinced that secularists, both those raised within the Church and outside her, while no longer resonating with a secularism of pure reason, are not moving towards God. Rather, they are adopting a new form of secularism that is described here as neo-secular. It is new in that it pursues a meaning and purpose bestowing enchantment beyond pure reason, but remains secular in that it does so without God.

14 4 believing as secularism and Western Christianity would argue, but rather humans are primarily lovers. We embrace what we love and in a world of disenchanted-immanence, everything is sterile and fails to ignite passion or desire, leaving little if anything to love. Unable to deny this void and realizing that the Enlightenment s best vision of enchantment 4 did not hold up to the rigors of daily life, the neo-secular world increasingly offers new forms of enchantment, non-spiritual understandings of human flourishing that seek to capture the heart. Two examples from this author s life come to mind. 5 The first dates to the fall of It was a Tuesday morning at 5:30 when I took the twenty-ninth place in line at Denver s Cherry Creek Mall. Over the next three and half hours, a growing number of strangers queued up, often running from the start to the end getting high fives from everyone else in line. On a couple of occasions, the wave broke out, making its way back and forth repeatedly before something, like the delivery of a cooler full of bottled Starbuck s Frappuccinos, broke the momentum. The same momentum break happened when a news cameraman arrived. At one point he asked what had me up so early. Look at what is happening! You have hundreds of strangers who are instantly friends. We are laughing and celebrating. How many things in life bring people together like this? Why would you not want to be a part of that experience? The interviewer, not really following my answer, asked about the product we were in line to buy. I am excited about the release of the iphone 3S. But really, I could buy that 4 The best enchantment pure reason offers simply says, You no longer need to be afraid of the world around you and you can overcome obstacles. 5 James Smith, Desiring the Kingdom, 46-47; James K.A. Smith, How (Not) to Be Secular: Reading Charles Taylor (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2014), loc

15 5 tomorrow without the wait. It s the community and the experience that Apple creates that makes getting up early worth it. A few years later I would hear Simon Sinek explain what I was trying to describe in his TEDx Talk, Start with Why. According to Sinek, Apple rarely talks about the specs of their computers and instead focuses on giving people the tools to nurture creation and innovation. They invite everyone to be one of the Crazy Ones in their iconic 1987 television commercial. That is a neo-secular vision of meaning, purpose, and significance. That is enchantment. That is why I was up and in line. As a final question, he asked me what I did for a living. I paused before saying, I am a pastor. The silence at the reality a pastor needed Apple for a sense of enchantment was deafening. 6 The second experience is more current. While working on my doctoral program, I have worked at Recreational Equipment Incorporated, better known as REI. When I started, there was general acceptance amongst sales staff that REI was no longer cool. When our CEO Sally Jewel was appointed Secretary of the Interior of the United States of America, the cooperative hired Jerry Stritzke to take her place and make REI socially relevant again. Rather than starting with new gear and other products, he began with stories and a slogan. He then identified ways REI could equip people to live that story. Stritzke cast a vision that, An outdoor life is a life well lived, and brought it to life with a radical retail move. On Black Friday 2015, the busiest shopping day of the year, REI stores and the sales portion of the website closed. As if that was not enough, REI paid their employees to lead a movement of people who rejected shopping so they could 6 Simon Sinek, Start With Why, YouTube, accessed November 22, 2015,

16 6 #optoutside. The strategy was brilliant and received over three billion mentions on social media in the first week. According to Stritzke at the Denver Flagship s all-store meeting on November 8, 2015, sixty-seven percent of all retail conversation regarding the busiest shopping day of the year was about a store that would not be open. By way of comparison, Target came in a distant second owning five percent of the conversation. REI captured the imagination of millions by selling a neo-secular vision of outdoor enchantment; and the seventy-seven-year-old cooperative is setting sales records while equipping people to live according to that vision. With stories like Apple and REI s, it is obvious why Guy Kawasaki titled his bestselling book on launching a new business, Enchantment. Truth be told, the number of potential destinations on a quest to fill the enchantment void is countless and often multiple paths will be pursued simultaneously. Some provide an acceptable level of satisfaction; others prove nice, but lacking. Still more vices, especially those that focus on numbing the void rather than seeking to fill it, become entrapping addictions that take life to new levels of both longing and shame. Alongside this vast array of neo-secular offerings stands the Church, immersed in the same social imaginary where Christendom is no longer. The Divine is, at best, seen as optional in the quest for meaning and the very idea of the Divine becomes increasingly implausible. This is a world foreign to Christendom, which held a place of Western power and privilege for over fifteen hundred years. As various Christian denominations seek their voice, the Church generally takes one of two approaches. 7 Portfolio, 2011). 7 Guy Kawasaki, Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions (New York:

17 7 First, more traditional branches largely aim to sustain what once was, be it through politics and hoping to legislate a second Christendom, playing according to modern philosophy and trying to prove God (or verify the Bible as a means of substantiating God), or just articulating premodern theological propositions with increasing volume. While as recently as 2002 there was a claim among these traditionalists, specifically through Colleen Carroll s book, The New Faithful, that young adults were flocking to conservative Christianity, the reality remains that churches are hemorrhaging members from all demographic groups throughout the United States. In the end, the church s theology, her language, was predominantly developed according to a premodern social imaginary that failed to resonate meaningfully during society s shift toward secularism. 8 But the conservative response is only one option. The second option, seen in more progressive churches, steps into this new world by adopting social manifestos that resonate with the culture, finding ways to gloss over or dismiss the distasteful parts of Scripture in hopes of making faith more palatable and pursuing a broad inter-faith ecumenism at the lowest common denominator. 9 8 Research pointing to the disconnect between the church s message and everyday people include popular books like David Kinnaman and Aly Hawkins, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2011); Jim Henderson and Matt Casper, Jim and Casper Go to Church: Frank Conversation About Faith, Churches, and Well-Meaning Christians (Carol Stream: Tyndale, 2012); and Dan Kimball s They Like Jesus But Not the Church: Insights From Emerging Generations (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2007). There is also an emergence of books in a Christian spiritual, but not religious category such as Donald Miller s, Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2003) and Nadia Bolz-Weber s, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint (New York: Jericho Books, 2014); as well as research from both the Barna Institute and the Pew Research Center. Specifically, Pew s May 2015 report on American s Changing Religious Landscape, America s Changing Religious Landscape, May 12, 2015, accessed October 4, 2015, 9 Colleen Carroll Campbell, The New Faithful: Why Young Adults Are Embracing Christian Orthodoxy (Chicago: Loyola Press, ).

18 8 Yet despite both conservative and progressive efforts and often because of them those in a neo-secular age who crave enchantment find the Triune God increasingly difficult to embrace. For those who try, the conservative version ranges from disconnected to distastefully horrifying while the liberal take is at best pointless and at worst impotent. How does this author know what it is like to be one of these seekers of enchantment? I am one of them. And it is important to clarify that I use the present tense intentionally. Like so many others, I have sought and continue to seek. I have spent most of my life on an enchantment seeking pilgrimage. Today I find myself somewhat unique in that I am increasingly convinced the answer to enchantment is found in Jesus, but that was not always the case. No doubt my reader notices this dissertation just took an unusually personal turn, and that too is quite purposeful. This dissertation is not about the nebulous general. It is about the particular. It is not about the masses of people who are searching. Rather, it is about a throng of individuals, each with his or her own stories, struggles, hurts, pains, and longings who are on a pilgrimage. As similar as they might be, to lump them into a collective would be disrespectful. At the same time, to share each of their stories is impossible. Therefore, in this dissertation, the particular will be my story, largely because my story is the one I know best. But this particular is not limited to my story. This is not an autobiography. Rather, it is an autoethnography, wherein my story serves as a lens through which other stories can be accessed, where we can engage in comparison and critique, and, prayerfully, we can encounter Jesus. 10 With that end in mind, let us turn to a portion of Autoethnography. 10 For more on autoethnography and the epistemology of this dissertation, please read Appendix A:

19 9 my narrative as it relates to being caught in the cross-hairs of a neo-secular age and the longing for something to fill the disenchanted void. A Pastor Walks into an Art Gallery In July of 2005, I found myself as a thirty-one-year-old church planter on the verge of graduating seminary with a call to start a new congregation in urban Denver. I had resources to support me personally but, because I chose to focus on an urban setting, there was no core group or leadership team with whom to work. While I was privately angst-ridden at the high probability of failing and not receiving the praise I craved, publicly I argued this was a good thing because it created the opportunity to start something that did not come with baggage about congregational form or programming. One of the few things I was certain of was that I wanted the new church to be relational, which meant starting with relationships. I turned to the best connection place I knew: MySpace. I tweaked the code on my page until it looked great, gave it a Christian feel without being overly religious, and then started joining Denver-based groups to see who I could meet. One of my best connections was with an alternative art gallery. The owner was a young woman with tattoos covering much of her body, long hair worn in dreadlocks, a larger-than-life persona, and dreams that exceeded her personality. She had just leased a space and was getting ready to open her gallery, but it needed a lot of work. Given her limited resources, she turned to MySpace to see if she could find people to bring her dream to life. She was asking for physical labor and pickup trucks in exchange for wall space during the gallery s first show. While I was not an artist, I did have a truck and was

20 10 willing to paint, so I offered to help without repayment and figured I could use the opportunity to meet people. I even used my connections at a local church to get a scissor lift so we could paint the second level of the studio s outside, a move that drew great praise from the gallery crowd and opened cracked doors even wider. Over the next few weeks I spent multiple days and evenings working on the gallery and in the process I met a variety of interesting and wonderful people. One was into ancient Egyptian religion. Another was a gnostic. Still another was a blood drinker who saw himself as linked to Judas and therefore cursed because he betrayed Christ. Then there was the rest of the crowd who mostly grew up Christian but left the church and had no interest in going back. That being said, they were open to all kinds of conversations and, because I did not come pushing faith, they were very open to asking me spiritual questions. Perhaps even better for a church planter, I was repeatedly told that that anytime I wanted to use the gallery for an event, I was welcome to it. I had selfprofessed pagans literally inviting me to make the Gospel tangible in their midst. What happened? I froze. No event ever happened. I settled for a different church plant setting that fizzled out a couple of years later and, even as those from the gallery kept contacting me, I never followed up. Ultimately, I abandoned the opportunity because I was afraid they would reject what I was equipped to say about God. Truthfully, I had good reason to believe they would. After all, they were asking me questions and finding me approachable because I entered their world in an accepting way. As far as they could see, I would offer something different. It was an expectation I could not meet. All I had were the standard propositions: you are a sinner and your sin makes God angry; you need forgiveness; here are the four spiritual laws; Jesus died on the cross to take your

21 11 punishment, etc. I had a message crafted for a world with a different social imaginary and, even if that was the imaginary of Jesus (something I believed then but disagree with today), it did not play well in the art gallery. I tried one day with a young woman who just opened up and poured out her heart with all the struggles she was going through. Most of her recent life choice would be categorized as sinful. My training told me to point out the sin, share the love of Jesus, and pray for her, but the words were hollow and it felt like I was trying to use a band-aid to cover a severed limb. I truly believed that Jesus did in fact love her; I just had no idea of how to say it in a meaningful way. In the end, I just listened and hurt with her. Similar encounters happened with others, but this was a community of people who, with few exceptions, had grown up in churches where they saw long-time members bitterly fighting over choir robe styles. They grew up feeling the stares as they arrived in the tattered clothes that Mom s welfare check could afford. They heard the not-so-quiet whispers about their developmentally disabled siblings. They sat in youth groups where the same kids who piously answered questions on Wednesday would be passed out from drunkenness on Saturday. They were told that forgiven sinners are changed and that life looks different on the other side of grace, but what was said and what was experienced did not match. So rather than stay among the hypocrites who pretended the promised transformation was real, they left and found not only each other but a sense of enchantment at the gallery. They formed a community of their own based on ideals that made sense to them. Deep down, I desperately wanted what they were living because it seemed to make so much more sense than what I knew. I might have been a pastor, but

22 12 my theological propositions were functionally nonsensical to me as well, and I was searching just as desperately. 11 When I would go home from the gallery after hours, or when I would first wake up to an empty apartment, or any other time I could find in between, I was online engaged in the dark side of my pilgrimage to enchantment. Adult chatrooms where strangers from across the globe would come together and talk about sex, relationships, love and life, but mostly sex, were the usual. Every once in a while I would notice someone else from Colorado in the room and it made me wonder how many other locals were seeking and if we could seek together. This could prompt a more targeted search for a while, with Craigslist and dating sites serving as the pilgrimage grounds. These forays, like most of my life s interactions with women, largely resulted in me going unnoticed or rejected and I would drop back into the non-geographic realm. While I struggled to find anything beyond a momentary thrill, I kept seeking because at an early age I learned to look toward women to find both acceptance and mystery. I knew according to my faith or at least the faith I professed that I was wrong, but the guilt of seeking was an emotional itch compared to the gaping indescribably painful wound that drove my quest. Ultimately, my faith was functionally one of me sinning as I sought something of substance then turning to Jesus for forgiveness so the search could resume. 11 Tony Jones offers a resonating account of asking youth group leaders to explain to their students how, Jesus died for your sins. works. Tony Jones, Did God Kill Jesus?: Searching for Love in History s Most Famous Execution (San Francisco: HarperOne, 2015), 6-7.

23 13 The Making of Me How did this happen? How did I end up as a Christian pastor who, in many ways, had stopped looking to Jesus to bring peace to my lamenting soul, but went on teaching, or at least trying to teach, the cognitive propositions that I found so meaningless? Like all of our stories, mine started at birth, and the conditions I was born into are a key backdrop to everything that follows. I am a White male from an upper-middle class American family. I am the very definition of privilege and the repeated beneficiary of a wide range of social graces, including a formatively important, although not for the better, sense of entitlement and the accompanying unwillingness to endure hardship. When combined with my high intellect, I quickly became effort-averse. After all, tasks came easy and my performance was reviewed generously. Therefore, if endurance was necessary, from my perspective, something was wrong. 12 Perhaps I could have worked my way through life without much difficulty if I was more socially astute, but starting in third grade, my classmates identified me as the kid to ostracize. As far as I can recall, it began when I asked a popular girl to go out with me. I was too scared to ask her in person, so I slipped a note that was written in code along with a decoder into her desk. As the day went on I looked for evidence that the note was found and, hopefully, in the process of being decoded. Alas, all my reconnaissance proved fruitless and, as the final bell rang, I wondered what became of my note. As I walked outside, I saw her standing near some friends and I decided to take action. I walked up and made a comment about her receiving a note. She quickly turned my direction and asked, What do you know about it? I mumbled something. You know 12 Leah Payne, Ethnicity, DMin LSF Fall Advance (October 25, 2014).

24 14 who wrote it! I started to quiver knowing I would soon be discovered. It was you! That word you. I am not even sure if she knew my name. Terrified, I did the only thing I knew to do. I ran. To this day, I can see myself running with all my might. I went south along the westernmost pod of the school toward the playground before taking a sharp turn east and ducking into an alcove. I had hoped that the girl and her friends who were in hot pursuit might lose me in the after school chaos, but my hope proved frivolous and the alcove that was supposed to be my shelter became my prison. The swarm of girls crowded around me. Laughter sounded like the buzz of angry bees and their pointing fingers might as well have been wasp stingers, mercilessly piercing me over and over again as I tried to disappear into the brick and concrete. I still have no clue how I escaped the assault that day but I would never be free. Rather, from that day forth, I was the lowest rung on the social ladder and the only thing one can do with the lowest rung is step on it. I was the reject. The outcast. The unwanted. There is no doubt each of my readers could share their own version of this account. It might not involve a girl on a playground, but there are many settings and many assailants. The reader might think of a demanding or absent parent, an abusive sibling, or a condescending teacher. My story is a universal story, it is just the details and what we do in response to the trauma that changes. As for me, when my peers told me I was worthless, I believed them. I quickly learned to hate myself. Compounding this emotional darkness, my entitlement-based unwillingness to face hardship had me seeking out easy solutions to deal with my internal conflict. The easiest solution that presented itself was also the most permanent. I do not know how

25 15 many nights I would sit in my room with my pocket knife out, debating where to cut. Should I do the wrist and, if I do it, should I go across the wrist or up the arm? Or maybe I should plunge the blade into my neck. Would that do the job? As I debated, I would take the knife in my hand and firmly grip it. I would lift my arm and place the tip of the blade against my throat. The sense of sharp steel terrified me and, as much as I wanted to end my life, I found myself incapable of going through with it. So I would put my knife away, write a note that I had prayed to die, and slide it under my hamster s cage so when my mom cleaned out my room she could find it. Then I would get on my knees and beg God to take my life before crying myself to sleep. The next morning, as my eyes opened, my heart would sink as I realized my one wish, my one prayer, had gone unanswered yet again. I would pull the note out from under the cage, destroy it, and get ready for another day of hell on earth, or at least as much hell as you can experience when you are an upper-middle class White kid in America. Perhaps some would consider it good that I turned to God in the midst of my darkness, even if my wishes were less than holy. I see it as more of a statement on my understanding of God, a view nurtured by my experience at church. My parents are devout conservative Missouri Synod Lutherans and have been since before I was born. I was baptized at a month old. Every Sunday we attended church and Sunday School and at church, week in and week out, we used the same two liturgies to guide our service. Of all the sections, one stands out in my memory. The Confession. For the liturgically familiar, I meant to stop there. I do not remember the confession and absolution, just the confession. I, a poor miserable sinner, confess unto thee all my sins and iniquities with which I have ever offended thee and justly deserve thy temporal and eternal punishment

26 16 Those words haunt me to this day, not only because of what they say about God and what they are supposed to do to the worshipper but because of what they did to me as a child. With my self-hatred already all-consuming, I desperately needed words of love, value, and life spoken into my being. Instead, I had the words of the confession, where God told me I was right. God told me I was worthless and I deserved every bit of mockery I received at school. At this point, most people checkout of church until they are old enough to walk away. Not me. With my self-hate divinely sanctioned, and since God refused to kill me and I was too weak to kill myself, I would confess like I was supposed to and wonder what I could do that would add something of value to my life. One way I did this was excelling in the spaces where I found some success. First there was Scouts where, after completing everything Cub Scouts had to offer, I went on to become a thirteen-year-old Eagle Scout. My achievements generated plenty of praise and, for moments, life felt less painful. At times, school and achieving good grades also helped fill this void. I also turned to church where I took advantage of every opportunity I could to serve. I was an acolyte, an usher, a Sunday school teacher, a youth leader, and, ultimately, the pastor. In doing so, I discovered that serving, teaching, preaching, and knowing theology resulted in approval that could not only temper my self-hatred for a few moments and getting up in front of a congregation became my space of enchantment. Church had little to do with faith, but a great deal to do with performance-based acceptance. Yet here in the art gallery, the performance was rejected. I could teach, preach, and share doctrine all night long and in the morning the faces would still be blank because the enchantment they craved was something more than a far off God who is

27 17 angry and somehow making things right by killing his Son. I cannot blame them for not wanting that God. Neither did I. After all, that is the God who hated me and then refused to kill me just so he could watch me suffer. So when the art gallery was silent and the praise did not come, or when the praise was unable to adequately muffle the voices of self-hatred, I found ways to both numb the pain and wistfully seek to ease the rejection of that popular girl in third grade who was the matriarch of my failure with women. Perhaps it began in second grade when a couple older kids snuck a Penthouse magazine on the bus and I caught a glimpse. Sexuality in commercials and advertisements fueled my imaginary. Quiet times in my room during third grade, when I would draw explicit fantasies one of my female classmates who was going out with a boy who tormented me. Looking back, I see how, even as a nine-yearold, I was rooted in the enchantment that flourishing equated with being desired by women. In time, the sick beauty behind this imaginary is that if my quest to be desired failed, if the popular girls never wanted me, the sensations of fantasy would at least numb the shame of rejection for a time. Years after all these convictions were formed, I would leave the embodied bohemian freedom, openness, and vulnerability of the art gallery, and turn on my computer to numb the emptiness, still hoping that my dream of being desired would come true, but somehow knowing this was really about anesthetizing pain. Through it all, the conviction remained that there was something more out there. Something real. Something good. I had no idea where or how to find it, but somewhere deep within, I knew it had something to do with a Jesus I was yet to meet, a Jesus I am just getting to know today.

28 18 The Journey from the Preliminaries Where does that leave our pilgrims who dwell in an age of disenchantedimmanence, where everything is tangible and everything tangible can be mastered, yet a yearning for enchantment lingers that is neither tangible nor capable of being mastered? As I sit near the end of this dissertation process and look back to the beginning, I have to say the answer is Jesus, but not as we think we know him. I reject the notion that we try and force history to reverse itself and return to a premodern age where existing theology supposedly works. The same can be said of efforts to reconfigure premodern theology so it can live more acceptably in the present. Both of these ends seek to fit Jesus into the West s modern social imaginary. Rather, I propose that there is a Divine Imaginary, necessarily contradicting yet fully capable of dwelling in any age with any social imaginary. The Divine Imaginary is characterized by God embodying immanenttranscendence and calling humanity to lives of tangible-enchantment. In other words, the God of the Bible from Creation to Second Coming, despite human resistance, wants to be seen as holiness that lovingly draws near to a fallen and wounded creation. Moreover, as God comes close, humanity is transformed and invited to reorient loves, thus changing the way life is seen and conducted. That is immanent-transcendence and tangibleenchantment. To make these arguments, Chapter Two will consider the legitimacy of the Divine Imaginary through the lens of Jesus by reviewing the four storylines offered in the four Gospel accounts. Chapter Three will focus on the Divine Imaginary as interpreted in and for a Western world, using the book of Romans as a foundation for exploring the Early Church, Medieval Christendom, the Reformation, and the so-called New

29 19 Perspective, before offering an interpretation through the lens of the Divine Imaginary. Chapter Four will return to our present age and explore embodiment practices aimed at helping the church embrace the Divine Imaginary. Chapter Five will be used to bring loose ends together and suggest further study and methods to implement change.

30 CHAPTER TWO JESUS AND THE DIVINE IMAGINARY Why Begin With Christ? Contrary to the premodern and modern social imaginaries that Taylor describes as transcendent-enchantment and immanent-disenchantment, this dissertation argues that the God of the Bible offers a different imaginary for humanity to embrace; one where God is immanent-transcendence and humanity is invited to a life of tangibleenchantment. While the focal subjects of the discussion are those embedded in immanent-disenchantment while longing for enchantment, no discussion concerning the nature, identity, or revelation of the Triune God revealed in the Bible can begin without reflecting on the content of Scripture itself. To that end, this paper must review 13 the Bible to see if the Divine Imaginary proposed is hermeneutically valid. What follows will, in a sense, offers a narrative review of both the Hebrew Bible and New Testament Gospels, but it will be done in an atypical fashion by starting with the Gospels and interweaving the Hebrew Bible. The rationale for this approach begins with John 5:39-40 where Jesus, after pointing to both John the Baptist and the Father s witnesses to his testimony, invites the Scribes and Pharisees to also look to the Hebrew Scriptures because they like John and the Father testify about Jesus. However, given that previous study of the Scripture had led the Scribes and Pharisees to Messianic conclusions located somewhere other than 13 It is important here to note the limited scope of this survey. Given the space allotted, anything more than touching on themes and seeking highlights is simply impossible. 20

31 21 Jesus, this dissertation will heed the wisdom of Dietrich Bonhoeffer who writes, Only from Christ can we know what the beginning is. 14 German theologian Wolfhart Pannenberg adds further support to this approach with the central theme of his systematic Christology being that God can only be known through the man Jesus. Pannenberg provides additional guidance for the task ahead by arguing that the task must begin with the man, his life, and his teaching about God, each of which are ultimately vindicated and validated in the resurrection. This paper will, therefore, begin with the four Gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Each Gospel account, while unique and intended to be read and understood individually, offers a true and collective revelation of Jesus Christ. Moreover, because each of these accounts bind themselves to the Hebrew Bible, they serve as a trustworthy entry point into the interpretation of the text. From the books that Christians typically call the Old Testament, this dissertation will focus on the events of the Creation and Fall, Abraham and the fulfillment of God s promise through the formation of Israel as a kingdom of priests, King David, and the return from the Babylonian Exile. But first, as a means of highlighting the value of Bonhoeffer and Pannenberg s suggestion that the knowledge of God must begin with the narrative of the man Jesus, and in keeping with narrative autoethnography and the accompanying grid of the particular, a bit more of my story and specifically the imaginary of God I embraced as a child Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Creation and Fall Temptation: Two Biblical Studies (New York: Touchstone, 1997), Wolfhard Pannenberg, Jesus: God and Man (Norwich, UK: SCM Press, 2011), loc 564, 765.

32 22 Overlord of All Creation As far as I know, I am the only child to ever skip a grade in Sunday School. It was sometime around second or third grade when I dutifully sat in my chair bored. Instead of tuning out, I listened carefully and quickly corrected the teacher whenever she made a mistake while telling a Bible story. Both my corrections of the teacher and the Sunday School leadership s decision to advance me a grade became a grand moment of performance for me and gave me a sense that I was accomplishing something in the church world. Sadly, my advancement was more a reflection of my ability to remember stories that I had heard ad nauseum than any kind of genuine spiritual development. As I reflect back on my childhood, the only picture of God that seems to describe what I now remember in images and feelings is that of the Grand Clock Maker who set everything in motion and then looked from a distance as humanity ruined the clock. While I know there was more to my spoken profession, as evidenced by a confirmation paper on John 3:16 towards the end of eighth grade, when I think back on the state of my heart, I find Jesus, grace, mercy, and forgiveness were nowhere to be found. Contrasting my faintly remembered professions of Jesus, I vividly recall one Sunday morning on a Boy Scout camping trip when our Scoutmaster encouraged all of us to spend time in non-defined spiritual reflection. I perched myself on a large mosscovered fallen tree that ran perpendicular to a stream. Looking out over the rushing water and into the forest beyond, I have no idea how much time passed, but I remember having a long and very personal conversation with God about the creation around me and how incredible it was. God, you are behind all of this, I said looking at the water, plants, and rocks, and listening to the scampering feet of the critters that darted about under the

33 23 foliage. Then my thoughts shifted to people, and me specifically. All I could think about was how we were failures, both in our care for the Creation and in the manner we conducted our daily lives. I walked away convicted, broken, and confused, all because my functional theology was limited to a common interpretation of the Creation and Fall accounts that make up the first three chapters of Genesis. While I was not born when he wrote it, I was the reason Bonhoeffer wrote, Thus the creation story should not be read in church in the first place only from Christ, and not until then as leading to Christ. We can read towards Christ only if we know that Christ is the beginning, the new and the end of our world. 16 So let us begin exploring Christ, and through him, the rest of Scripture by turning to the Gospels. Matthew: Jesus as Son of Abraham and David God s wisdom deemed to provide humanity with four separate and unique accounts of God s revelation in Jesus Christ. While there is obvious temptation to unify the story as a means of covering up apparent contradictions in the biblical canon, to do so strips away the uniqueness and nuance of the evangelists accounts, prompting the reader to miss the very details the author wishes to highlight about Jesus. Therefore, this dissertation will treat each account as an autoethnography of sorts, with each Gospel writer penning his own story of life with Jesus. However, unlike the autoethnography that makes up this dissertation, followers of Jesus believe the Gospel accounts are simultaneously human and divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit leaving the evangelist s story unquestioned. That being said, Christian disciples are not only invited but expected 16 Bonhoeffer, Creation and Fall Temptation, 10.

34 24 to challenge human interpretation of the account. What follows is an exploration and interpretation of each Gospel with an emphasis on the nuance each provides. In each case, this author seeks to understand the Divine Imaginary, that is, how God invites us to envision, believe, and make sense of both the divine presence and human flourishing. In Matthew s opening genealogy, he invites the reader to see Jesus through the lens of the historic people of Israel by binding Jesus to both Abraham and David (Matt. 1:1). Scripture tells little of Abraham before God came to him. Years later, Joshua, the leader of the nation stemming from Abraham s ancestry, identifies Abraham as one who worshipped other gods (Josh. 24:15). But that was before Genesis 12, when God came to the man then known as Abram and told him to leave everything and go to a land that God would reveal, clinging to a promise that, through Abram, God would bless everyone on earth. What would prompt a man to abandon his faith, leave house and home, say goodbye to some family, and set out on a journey that seems perilous? John Bright, for one, proposes various factors including the personal nature of Abram s new faith. Building on Bright s point and in light of this dissertation s proposed hermeneutic, Scripture provides a clue for motive in the way God appears. First, God speaks (Gen. 12:1, 13:14). Then, God appears (12:7, 17:1). Finally, the Trinity fellowshipped (18:1-15). These words imply divine manifestation and suggest that the one who is by definition transcendent becomes immanent. This author proposes that kind of relationship stands behind Abram s transformation John Bright, A History of Israel, 4th ed. (Louisville, KY: Westminster John Knox Press, 2000), 101; Jonathan T. Pennington and Sean M. McDonough, Cosmology and New Testament Theology (New York: Bloomsbury T&T Clark, 2008), 37.