ESSAY: SCENARIOS FACED MANAGING CHURCH CONFLICT IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE COURSE PLED 625-B01 LUO

Transcription

1 ESSAY: SCENARIOS FACED MANAGING CHURCH CONFLICT IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE COURSE PLED 625-B01 LUO LIBERTY BAPTIST THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY TRAVIS NOWELL PLED 625-B01 LUO DONALD HICKS JUNE 24, 2012

2 INTRODUCTION How should believers handle conflicts experienced in church in a practical way? The church answer would be for the wrong party to confess and repent. Next, the wronged party would forgive and forget. However, life is never that simple. Church leadership is ultimately left with two options: judgment or mercy. In the next life, all things will be resolved at the judgment seat of Christ (2 Cor. 5:10). Until then, we should choose mercy as much as possible, as Jesus did: I desire mercy, and not sacrifice (Matt. 9:13). Mercy preserves relationships, ministries, and churches. However, sometimes judgment is the only way of properly dealing with conflict. Knowing when to be tough and when to be tender is a skill that all leaders must master as soon as possible and practice as often as possible. This paper will examine three example conflict scenarios within a church setting and attempt to work out the proper techniques to resolve the matters in an appropriate biblical manner. SCENARIO 1: MUSIC Music is the language of the soul. 1 Any Christian that holds the opinion that music is just music has never been on the receiving end of really bad music. Because music is a form of public worship to God, it fills a very important role in worship services. It is no surprise that the largest book of the Bible is Psalms. Much thought, discussion, preparation, and prayer must therefore be administered when establishing a praise and worship ministry. However, even when great lengths such as these have been exercised, some people will still be displeased and conflict ensues. One scenario involved a church making the change from hymn/piano based music to a full live worship band, complete with a full drum set. Even though many families joined the church because of the new music ministry, several long standing 1 Michael Todd Wilson and Brad Hoffmann, Preventing Ministry Failure: a Shepherd Care Guide For Pastors, Ministers and Other Caregivers (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Books, 2007),

3 members expressed their indignation with the change with the primary annoyance being the drums. Once leadership spoke to the members they walked away unhappy and began to prompt more parishioners to voice their concern as well. It seems the church leadership has three choices: go back to hymns, keep the live band, or come up with an appropriate compromise. Alfred Poirier gives sound advice on dealing with conflict in his book entitled The Peacemaking Pastor. He writes, Wise peacemaking pastors anticipate that conflicts will erupt...and thus they will seek to preclude them by training their leaders and people to negotiate in a way that fulfills one of the primary calls of the gospel the call to look to the interests of others (Phil. 2:3-4). 2 Following this advice, church leaders must know that such a drastic change in music must be presented and explained well to the church body in advance. It must be clarified to the annoyed members that the change did in fact take place with the interest of the church body in mind. Leadership could offer Sunday evening or Wednesday night services that utilize the hymn/piano method as a loving compromise to those in opposition to the live band. SCENARIO 2: EVICTION NOTICE Chances are extremely high that everyone has had someone in their family that has been diagnosed with cancer. In like fashion, chances are also high that every pastor knows another pastor that has been forced out of a church. Sadly, many pastors and their families are being kicked to the curb with little explanation and with no sin committed. Is any other conflict greater to a church than senior pastor turnover? One scenario of such a church conflict occurred to Pastor Bob and his wife. After 2 Alfred Poirier, The Peacemaking Pastor: a Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict (Downers Grove, IL: Baker Books, 2006),

4 celebrating their third official year with the church, Bob was told at a deacon s meeting that he would have to leave, despite the two fold growth in attendance and thriving ministry the church had undergone under his tenure. The deacons informed Pastor Bob that it was the church s unwritten policy for a preacher to leave after his three year anniversary and he had twelve months to find another church. The deacons never mentioned another reason for pushing Bob out other than their desire to never keep a pastor more than four years. Sadly, this was news to Bob who had never been privy to this information. The dismayed pastor soon broke the news to his wife, and they were left with a big decision: leave or fight to stay. In his epistle to the church of Corinth, Paul spoke how to handle disruptions to functions of the church by cautioning that Everything must be done decently and in order (1 Cor. 14:40). Bob s deacons certainly did not handle their deception in a decent manner. Robert Welch describes this verse in today s church conflict well, by stating: What Paul is saying is that when we do church, we are to do it in a proper and fitting manner. There should be order, not chaos. There should be sensibility, not insensitivity. There should be consistency, not discord. 3 Many times pastors can sniff out potential warning signs of a congregation becoming hostile towards him and attempt proactive resolutionary steps. 4 However, Bod had no such warning signs because of the deacons hidden agenda and the phenomenal success his ministry had attained. Some pastors in Bob s shoes would probably consider taking a sabbatical. However, when the cat is away the mice will play. As long as God allows, Bob is still the leader of his church and needs to conduct business as usual until God speaks clearly on His will and purpose within this conflict. It would seem logical at this time for Bob to get all the facts, seek Christian 3 Robert H. Welch, Church Administration: Creating Efficiency For Effective Ministry (Downers Grove, IL.: B&H Academic, 2005), 3. 4 Ibid., 89. 4

5 counsel, divide God s Word, and listen to the Lord s will for further action. 5 Revelation 3:8 speaks of a divine door that God Himself opens for his children that no man can shut. Once Bob understands God s will for his ministry, he needs to inform the church of his divine orders to stay or leave. Bob then needs to make an announcement for a members only special congregational meeting, as defined by Alfred Poirier to place this matter before the church. 6 In no way should a man of God be pushed out of a church in secret. Bob should inform his flock of his command from God, stick to his decision, and be willing to live with the results. SCENARIO 3: FOUL MOUTH ACCUSATION Cursing, sexual language, and otherwise graphic language should remain far from the Christian s lips in light of Ephesians 4:29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. (Ephesians 4:29). Sadly, many believers and unbelievers alike find little fault with explicit language. Most argue that Scripture is not clear on the matter, yet Colossian 3:8 clearly articulates to refrain from abusive speech. In light of this, most church goers realize that the Lord s House is not the place for crude and lewd comments. Children say the darndest things. Jokes aside, church teachers, even in their youth, should always strive for clean lips. One scenario of church conflict revolves around an allegation of inappropriate sexual language spoken by a 14-year-old teacher s assistant to a six year old boy. The teenager assists his 42-year-old mother, Beth, in teaching a children s Sunday school class. When confronted by the concerned mom, the Beth simply replies, boys will be boys. The angered parent reports the situation to the youth pastor and gives birth to the conflict. 5 Alfred Poirier, The Peacemaking Pastor, Ibid.,

6 In light of the overwhelming Scriptures stating the importance of taming the tongue, Beth should have never shrugged off the matter to the parent. No Christian parent wants their child taught by an adult who is careless in properly disciplining their own child. Poirier exhorts that proper church discipline should be exercised properly to exalt God s honor, protect the church s purity, and restore sinners. 7 John Scott, in his book entitled Between Two Worlds, adds to the discussion that today s Christian ethics, in at least some Christian circles, have been pitifully trivialized. 8 Much can be gained from this conflict. If the teenager is speaking lewdly, with the mother s allowance, then both should be restored gently (Gal. 6:1). Sin must not go unchecked, so we must not forget the seriousness of sin, nor fail to exercise proper discipline. 9 However, the youth pastor should have a meeting with all parties given a fair chance for confession, dismiss the allegation, or repent of sins committed. CONCLUSION We live in a fallen world where selfishness, lawlessness, and sin abound. Conflict is a more stable constant than any of the known laws of physics. Many times Christians will grow discontent with the direction of church leadership or be reluctant to change at all. This was the case early in the history of the church (Acts 6:1-7), and it will continue until Christ s return. Being conscious of impeding conflicts, proactively seeking resolution, establishing a clear process for dealing with concerns, and remaining scripturally grounded will enable church leaders to quickly, properly, and biblically resolve conflict. 7 Ibid., John Stott, Between Two Worlds: The Challenge of Preaching Today (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1993), Alfred Poirier, The Peacemaking Pastor,

7 BIBLIOGRAPHY Poirier, Alfred. The Peacemaking Pastor: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Church Conflict. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, Stott, John. Between Two Worlds: The Challenge of Preaching Today. Grand Rapids, MI.: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, Welch, Robert H. Church Administration: Creating Efficiency For Effective Ministry. Downers Grove, Ill.: B&H Academic, Wilson, Michael Todd & Hoffman, Brad. Preventing Ministry Failure: A Shepherd Care Guide for Pastors, Ministers and Other Caregivers. Carol Stream, IL: IVP Books,