Titus 2 Discipleship Section 2: Training for T2D Group Leaders

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1 1 NOTE to those who receive this by attachment or download it from the web site: This is an abridged version. The complete version will be in the Women s Ministry Training and Resource Guide, so this notebook refers to that manual. Page numbers will be added that also refer to that notebook. It is suggested that you order a copy: or call Titus 2 Discipleship, Section 1: Small Group Ministry Model is on the web site and will soon be in the Women s Ministry Training and Resource Guide. Titus 2 Discipleship Section 2: Training for T2D Group Leaders Introduction All books referred to may be ordered from: or call Purpose: To help train T2D leaders to encourage and equip women to think biblically and live for God s glory. To help develop unity among the T2D leaders. Training Plan: This material is divided into 5 sessions but can be adapted for your time-frame. It is important for you to adapt this material for your specific purposes. The material is flexible. Determine how many sessions you will have and what material you will use. You can combine or omit sessions, divide sessions, and add other information. There are also suggestions for on-going training of leaders. The outline of this plan is designed to gradually prepare women to lead a group. Each session prepares for the next session. The training begins with foundational concepts and then discusses practical ways to implement those concepts. Session 1: Biblical foundations for a Titus 2 Discipleship ministry.

2 2 Session 2: Biblical foundations for womanhood. Session 3: Discuss Spiritual Mothering (or the book that has been selected). Session 4: Practical ideas for leading a small group. Session 5: An optional session to plan the kick-off event and any other details that are needed. This training should be repeated each year for new leaders who will lead Year 1 groups. Women s Ministry Training and Resource Guide: Familiarize yourself with this notebook so that you can determine if there are other sections you want to use. Some options: (1) If the leaders of the women s ministry use Parts 1 and/or 2 of this notebook for their training, consider including the Titus 2 leaders in that training. (2) Use all or portions of Parts 1 and/or 2, adapting it to the number of sessions you want to add to your training. (3) Have T2D leaders read Women s Ministry in the Local Church and/or Leadership for Women in the Church. Give the women the following questions in advance and ask them to be prepared to discuss them: What parts of this book were most helpful to you? What did you learn about the context in which a Titus 2 discipleship ministry should take place? What did you learn about the importance of women discipling women? How did this book help define your thoughts and attitudes about serving Christ in His Church? What are some specific ways this book will help you to be a more effective T2D leader? (4) Use options 1, 2 or 3 as on-going training for T2D leaders after you have completed their initial training. Preparation:

3 3 Read Titus 2 Discipleship, Section 1: Small Group Ministry Model. Be sure you are aware of the proposal, curriculum, guidelines etc. that have been approved by the elders of your church. Look through each training session so that you will have an overview of the material. There are handouts at the end of each session. Copy these for the women. Read Women s Ministry in the Local Church in order to see the context for a T2D ministry. You will use portions of this book in your discussions. Read Spiritual Mothering, or whatever book has been selected as the first one for your T2D groups to study. Determine your training plan. Church Leadership: How many sessions will you have? What will be included in each session? As you prepare to teach this course meet with the pastor or an elder. Share the training material with him and ask if there is anything he wants omitted or added. It is important for training to be consistent with church doctrine, policies and guidelines. You are especially encouraged to ask about helping women in crisis. Know your church policies and procedures regarding this. It is imperative that you be able to tell T2D leaders what they should do if a woman confides something that may possibly put her or someone else in danger. Ask if the pastor would like to participate in any of the training sessions in order to equip women to support the church. Preparation: 1. Copy proposal Session 1 In advance give the women a copy of the proposal for this ministry that has been approved by the church leadership. Ask them to be prepared to discuss it and to ask any questions they have.

4 4 For an example of a proposal, see Titus 2 Discipleship, Section 1 A Small Group Ministry Model, Appendix Create a handout with the following Use Titus 2 Discipleship, Section 1 A Small Group Ministry Model and include the information that has been approved for your Titus 2 ministry such as: foundational principles, characteristics, job description for T2D leaders, Spiritual Mothering Covenant, list of books that will be used each year. An outline of your time-line: when publicity will begin, when women will sign up to be in a T2D group, date for kick-off and when groups will begin meeting. The outline of your training plan. See the Introduction for a suggested outline. Include the date of each training session. Leave space for the women to write an assignment that will be given at the end of Session 1. List the chapter numbers in Spiritual Mothering. Leave space for the women to write an assignment that will be given. List the following questions for women to answer regarding the book: (1) What chapter or section was especially helpful to you and why? (2) Which spiritual mothering story was especially meaningful and why? (3) As you consider the entire book, list things you want women in your group to learn. (4) Be prepared to tell about a woman who spiritually mothered you. Any other information you want to add. 3. Notebooks Provide notebooks for leaders or tell them to bring one. Punch holes in all handouts so that the leaders can keep these for future reference. 4. Atmosphere Create a welcoming atmosphere that will be a model for the leaders. Nurturing the relationships of the leaders will make the ministry stronger. Suggestion: You may want to make your first session a dinner or dessert meeting in a home.

5 5 5. Be intentional Plan carefully so that you begin and end on time. Determine how much time you will spend on each discussion point. The way you lead will show the women how to lead their groups. Everything you do will show them how to nurture a small group. Remember the details. 6. Box Talk Have someone at the door to greet the women. If women do not know each other, assign someone to be sure introductions are made and everyone feels welcome. See Titus 2 Ministry, Section 1, Appendix 10. Plan to do a box talk or ask someone else to do one as a demonstration for the women. Make copies of Appendix 10 to give the women. Explain that you will ask volunteers to do a box talk at each of your sessions. 7. Prepare to lead discussion of Session 1 Handout (it is at the end of the Discussion Guide for Session 1) Make copies of the Session 1 Handout: T2D Overview. Prayerfully study this handout and determine what points you want to emphasize. Use the Discussion Guide below and Women s Ministry in the Local Church, Chapter 8, to prepare for this discussion. You may want to create an additional handout with the Principles of discipleship listed in Chapter Assignment for Session 2 Make copies of the Session 2 Handout: Biblical Womanhood An Overview. Give this to the women at the end of Session 1 as an assignment for Session 2. Giving women the handouts in advance enables them to read and reflect on the information so that you can discuss the implications and applications together. Focus of Session 1: To explain the church s vision for this ministry and to begin to build a common vision by discussing biblical foundations for a Titus 2 Discipleship ministry.

6 6 To begin to develop the relationships of the leaders with one another. To discuss logistical details such as the responsibilities of leaders, how the ministry will be publicized, when groups will meet, and the time-line for implementing the ministry. To equip women to lead T2D groups by demonstrating how a T2D group should look and feel. Discussion Guide: 1. Vision Give a brief history about why and how the women s ministry decided to begin this ministry. Emphasize that this ministry does not stand alone. It is one part of the women s ministry which is one part of the church s discipleship ministry. Go over the proposal that has been approved by the elders. Emphasize that this ministry is under their oversight. Ask if there are any questions about the proposal. Ask women to take 1 or 2 minutes to briefly share how the Lord prepared and led them to be willing to serve as a T2D leader, and their vision for this ministry. Teaching point: You may want to explain that it is important for everyone to have an opportunity to discuss this vision so ask them to make their points concisely. Tell them that in small groups it is easy for a few women to do all the talking. They can guard against this in their groups by addressing it before any discussion. One aspect of discipleship is teaching women to listen to others as well as share without dominating a discussion. Spend time praying for the ministry. 2. Logistical details Distribute the handout you created with foundational principles, time-line, training plan etc. Go over this and ask if there are any questions. The purpose at this point is for the women to have a general overview of how the ministry will be implemented. Refer to the training plan so that women will know what to expect.

7 7 You will refer to this handout again at the end of the session when you make assignments. Emphasize that specific books have been approved by the elders. Leaders are not to incorporate other books. There are many excellent books that leaders may prefer, but it is important to have a consistent curriculum that every group is using and that has the approval of the church leaders. Discuss any other details that need to be decided. If you have not already done so, determine when each T2D group will meet. Leaders determine this by the time that is convenient for them, but it is important to have morning and night groups. You may want one or more groups to meet at the church during another program when childcare is available. Be sensitive to the church calendar so there are no conflicts. If you plan to have co-leaders, pair the women according to when they can meet. 3. Discuss the Session 1 Handout: T2D Overview (this is at the end of this Discussion Guide) Refer to the T2D Overview handout #1. Ask volunteers to read this. Emphasize that the Great Commission was given to the church. Titus is a letter written to a pastor, so the directive for gender-specific discipleship is in the context of the church. A T2D ministry is one part of the church s overall discipleship ministry. T2D leaders should always be supportive of the church. One objective is to disciple women to love and serve the family of God. #2 on the handout: John 17:20-23 Read or ask volunteers to read the Scripture and the quote from Boice. It is imperative to have a biblical understanding of the reason for small groups and to keep a gospel-focus. This is a discipleship ministry. The focus should be on helping women think biblically and live for God s glory. Discussion: Explain that there are inherent dangers in small groups. Ask: What do you think some of these dangers are? (Gossip, becoming inward-focused, the group becoming more important than the church, isolation from the rest of the women s ministry, etc.)

8 8 What are some general principles and ideas that flow out of Titus 2 and John 17:20-23 that can guide us in leading small groups? Explain that this discussion should be general and big picture thinking. In this discussion you are laying the foundation. In Session 4 you will consider specific ideas and applications. For your own preparation look at the Session 4 Discussion Guide, #2. Encourage the women to return to this handout and read it often as they pray and plan for their groups. 4. Conclude the discussion by emphasizing that this is a discipleship ministry not a counseling ministry. T2D leaders must be very careful not to take on more than they are qualified to do. If there is a crisis situation (abuse, drugs, adultery, etc.) the leader should encourage the woman to go to the pastor or an elder. She may want to offer to contact the pastor and go with her, but she should not try to handle this alone. T2D leaders can be helpful supporters to church leadership by recognizing their oversight and being willing to work alongside them in whatever way they determine to be appropriate. If there are crisis situations they should not be shared with the group if it would expose the sin of another. You may want to ask the pastor to talk to the leaders about appropriate ways to deal with crisis situations. Perhaps he will want to tell the leaders the structures that are in place to help women in crisis and the procedures that should be followed if they become aware of a crisis situation. 5. Box Talk Do a box talk and then give the copy of the guidelines to the women. Explain that this is an excellent way to help women get to know each other. 6. Assignment for Session 2 Use the handout you created. Tell them when you will discuss Spiritual Mothering. Explain that they are to read the entire book but assign each woman a chapter to give a 2- minute summary. Ask for volunteers to do a box talk for each remaining session and record this on the handout. Distribute the Session 2 Handout: Biblical Womanhood An Overview. Ask women to be prepared to discuss this at the next session. (This is at the end of Session 2.)

9 9 Session 1 Handout T2D An Overview 1. In Matthew 28:18-20 Jesus commissioned His church to make disciples: All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. In Titus 2:3-5 this commission is made gender-specific: Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. This is a spiritual mothering ministry because it involves nurturing. The following verses capture the essence of this ministry: Galatians 4:19 My little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you! 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8 We were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So,being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. 2. In His High Priestly prayer Jesus prayed for His people: I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. John 17:20-23 Dr. James Montgomery Boice wrote: But if the unity for which Jesus prayed is not an organizational unity or a unity achieved by conformity, what kind of unity is it? The answer is that it is a unity parallel to the unity that exists within the Godhead... the church is to have a spiritual unity involving the basic orientation, desire, and will of those participating (1 Cor. 12:4-6)... unity is something given to the church but also something for which the body of true believers should strive. There is a sense

10 10 in which we already are one in Christ. But there is also a sense in which we must achieve that unity. Here we are helped by the various images used of the church throughout the New Testament, one of the most valuable being that of the family... the unique characteristic of this image is that it speaks of relationships and therefore of the commitments that the individuals must have to one another... The second important image used... is a fellowship... the word has to do with sharing something or having something in common... This obviously involves the totality of our experience of God s grace. But fellowship is not only what we share in together. It also involves what we share out together. And this means that it must involve a community in which Christians actually share their thoughts and lives with one another... The third important image... is the body... It speaks of interdependence. It even suggests a kind of subordination involving a diversity of function (1 Cor. 12:12-14)... One function of the body that is unique to this image is service, for just as the family emphasizes relationships, and fellowship emphasizes sharing, so does the body emphasize work. The body exists to do something and, since we are talking about unity, we must stress that it exists to enable us to do this work together... John Stott speaks of this service flowing out of the small groups that his church emphasizes. It must be admitted that several have been unsuccessful through lack of time or of enterprise, he writes. Others, however, have offered their practical services as a group... Certainly without some such common concern and service, the fellowship of any Christian group is maimed. The Gospel of John, Vol. 4, p The Stott quote is from One People, p Preparation: Session 2 Study the Session 2 Handout: Biblical Womanhood An Overview. Read Women s Ministry in the Local Church, Chapter 2 to prepare to lead the discussion of this handout.

11 11 Have a card for the pastor and elders expressing appreciation for their support for this ministry. Have women sign this as they arrive. Focus of Session 2: To continue to nurture relationships among the leaders in order to show them ways to nurture unity in their groups. To present an overview of biblical womanhood so that leaders will have a working knowledge of this information. Discussion Guide: 1. As women arrive, ask them to sign the card for the pastor and elders. 2. Box Talk After the box talk, discuss the value of this idea. Encourage the women to use this in their groups. Go over the guidelines for box talks. It will be important for leaders to emphasize the importance of not going over the allotted time. 3. Ask if there are any questions or discussion about material covered in Session Discuss the Session 2 Handout: Biblical Womanhood An Overview Explain that this will give them an over-arching perspective of all of the books on biblical womanhood. It is a summary of what is unfolded in each book. It will help them lead discussions and guide women to think biblically about womanhood. As you go through each point on the handout, ask for questions and thoughts. Answers to #2 on the handout: The Father (chose), the Son (redeemed), the Spirit (seals/applies) the message of redemption to those the Father chose and the Son redeemed. The purpose is that God s glorious grace will be praised. Read the paragraph beginning The Father, Son and Holy Spirit... and ask: Which is more important in the accomplishment of our redemption, the work of the Father, the Son or the Holy Spirit?

12 12 The point is that they are equal. This gives the pattern for the equality of being but distinction of function in the creation of man and woman. #3: Note that the foundational principle God s glory is our purpose is consistent with what we learn in Ephesians 1:6, 12, 13. #4: Emphasize the note at the end of the Grudem quote. We must be careful to never give the impression that women are to submit to sin. It is often difficult for a woman to know when that line has been crossed a husband leaving dirty clothes on the floor is not the same as physical abuse. This is where a godly older woman can help her make this distinction. If there is ever a situation of physical abuse, it is important for T2D leaders to tell the woman she should go to the pastor or an elder, and to offer to go with her. If there is a possibility that the woman is in any danger, a T2D leader must report this. It is imperative for T2D leaders to know church policies and procedures. Briefly go through the remaining sections and ask if there are questions or comments. #10: Note that in the way of Christ, our authority is God s Word and our purpose is God s glory. Refer back to the foundational principles under #3. Assignment questions on the handout: (1) The words in parenthesis are strong, relational, nurturing, compassionate words. Our female design equips us to nurture relationships and to show practical compassion. Our design equips us to have a spiritual mothering ministry whether or not we have ever birthed biologically. Emphasize that for women who are married, the first place they should be life-givers is in the marriage. If they are not nurturing community and showing compassion there their witness beyond the marriage will be hindered. A woman should pray for grace to be a life-giver even if it is a difficult marriage. (2) You may want to look at several of the words and contrast what it will mean if a woman is a life-giver or a life-taker. For example: What will it mean for a woman to defend her husband to their children? What are some ways she may attack his character and/or decisions? What will it mean for women to support the leadership of the church? What are some ways women can weaken their leadership? A life-taker sucks the life out of situations and relationships because she lives under the authority of her own word and for her own glory. The only way we can be life-givers is to live under the authority of God s Word and for His glory. Refer back to the foundational principles under #3.

13 13 NOTE: Use caution in discussing the question about the most difficult relationship. Women should not be specific or expose the sin of another. You may want to create a hypothetical situation and discuss it for example: A mother-in-law who is critical of you and possessive of her son. Women can help each other become life-givers by praying, providing support and accountability, reminding each other of our purpose and authority, and encouraging obedience to God s Word. This will develop mature, Christ-centered relationships. (3) The world s message to women (the way of Cain) is that independence is power. Women are told to be self-sufficient, to determine our own destiny and to seek our own fulfillment. This self-centeredness causes us to be life-takers in relationships and situations. Our natural bent is to live for self. Becoming a life-giver is the process of sanctification. Romans 12:1-2: I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Disciplining other women means that we point them to the power of the gospel to transform us from life-takers to life-givers from women who live for self to women who live for God s glory. Consider this astounding reality: It is only the redeemed woman who has the life of Christ in her who can display the beauty of God s creation design of helper and His redemptive calling of life-giver. What a high and holy calling we have as Christian woman. 5. T2D Talking Points Encourage leaders to continually ask these questions. Emphasize that the language of life-giver is very powerful and inspiring. It is a new language and one of our privileges is to help women increasingly move from being life-takers to being life-givers. This is the process of sanctification dying to self and living for Christ. It is impossible in our own strength, but God has given us His Spirit to empower us for this calling. 6. The calling of biblical womanhood is radical because the gospel is radical. Some women may resist the concept of biblical womanhood. Encourage T2D leaders to patiently pray for these women and to remember that it is only the power of the gospel that can transform us from life-takers to life-givers. Explain that if they have women who

14 14 resist, they should simply ask the women to continue to explore these ideas, to feel free to voice their questions and resistances, and to ask the Holy Spirit to guide and teach them. 7. Continue to cultivate the relationships of the leaders by asking them to share prayer requests. Spend time praying together. 8. Assignment for Session 3 Be prepared to discuss the book Spiritual Mothering. Refer to the handout you created for Session 1 and remind women of their assigned chapter to summarize. Be sure they understand that they are to read the entire book and answer the questions on that handout. (1) What chapter or section was especially helpful to you and why? (2) Which spiritual mothering story was especially meaningful and why? (3) As you consider the entire book, list things you want women in your group to learn. (4) Be prepared to tell about a woman who spiritually mothered you. Remind the woman who is assigned to do a box talk at the next session. Session 2 Handout Biblical Womanhood An Overview So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27 1. Biblical womanhood is part of the story of redemption. It can only be understood in the context of this amazing gospel story. The Greatest Story Ever Told this title has been used for the Bible, and with good reason. The Bible is the greatest storybook, not just because it is full of wonderful stories but because it tells one great story, the story of Jesus... Anyone who has had Bible stories read to him as a child knows that there are great stories in the Bible. But it is possible to know Bible stories, yet miss the Bible story... The Bible has a story line. It traces an unfolding drama... The story is God s story. It describes His work to rescue rebels from their folly, guilt, and ruin. And in His rescue operation, God always takes the initiative... Only God s revelation could maintain a drama that stretches over thousands of years as though they were days or hours. Only God s revelation can build a story where the end is anticipated from the beginning, and where the guiding principle is not chance or fate, but promise. The Unfolding Mystery/Discovering Christ in the Old Testament, Edmund P. Clowney, p Before the Beginning The covenant of redemption: Ephesians 1 vv. 3-6: The Father us before creation. vv. 7-12: The Son us.

15 15 vv : The Spirit. vv. 6, 12, 13: The purpose. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are the same in substance, equal in power and glory (Westminster Shorter Catechism Q. 6), but each has a distinct function in our redemption. These functions are so perfectly complementary that they harmonize to accomplish the grand work of redemption which praises God s glorious grace. Michael Horton wrote: God s very existence is covenantal: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit live in unceasing devotion to each other, reaching outward beyond the Godhead to create a community of creatures serving as a giant analogy of the Godhead s relationship. Created in the image of the Triune God, we are by nature outgoing, interdependent relationship establishers, finding ourselves in the other and not just in ourselves. Unlike the persons of the Trinity, we at one time did not exist. But when God did decide to create, his decree was not that of a lonely monarch, but of a delighted Father, Son, and Holy Spirit establishing a creaturely, finite analogy of their eternal giving and receiving relationship. We were not just created and then given a covenant; we were created as covenant creatures partners not in deity, to be sure, but in the drama that was about to unfold in history. God of Promise, p The Beginning Genesis 1:1, 3: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... And God said, Let there be light, and there was light. Foundational principle: God s Word is our authority. Genesis 1:26 Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.. Foundational principle: God s glory is our purpose. (Being created in His image means that we can live in relationship with Him and reflect certain aspects of His glorious character.) Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. By creating the man first, God gave him the responsibility for headship. The man and woman were created equally in God s image, but each was designed for a different equally valuable function, in God s kingdom. Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth. This is the cultural mandate. It points to God s kingdom. One way we take dominion and extend God s kingdom is by fulfilling our creation roles and functions. 4. Dr. Wayne Grudem wrote:

16 16 The equality and differences between men and women reflect the equality and differences in the Trinity. Much more is at stake than the meaning of one or two words or one or two verses in the Bible. Much more is at stake even than how we live in our marriages. Here we are talking about the nature of God Himself. In 1 Corinthians 11 Paul writes, But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. (v. 3)... Just as the Father and Son are equal in deity and equal in all their attributes, but different in role, so husband and wife are equal in personhood and value, but they are different in the roles God has given them. Just as God the Son is eternally subject to the authority of God the Father, so God has planned that wives be subject to the authority of their husbands... When did the idea of headship and submission begin? The idea of headship and submission never began! It has always existed in the eternal nature of God Himself. And in this most basic of all authority relationships, authority is not based on gifts or ability (for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are equal in attributes and perfections). It is just there. Authority belongs to the Father, not because He is wiser or because He is a more skillful leader, but just because He is the Father... They [the Trinity] don t differ in any attributes, but only in how they relate to each other. And that relationship is one of leadership and authority on the one hand and voluntary, willing, joyful submission to that authority on the other hand.. We can say then that a relationship of authority and submission between equals, with mutual giving of honor, is the most fundamental and most glorious interpersonal relationship in the universe... And when we begin to dislike the very idea of authority and submission not the distortions and abuses, but the very idea we are tampering with something very deep. We are beginning to dislike God Himself. Evangelical Feminism & Biblical Truth, p. 45ff. NOTES on submission: Biblical headship and submission have reference to the home and church. This does not refer to the marketplace etc. A woman is never to submit to sin. We are to obey God and not man. A woman who submits to abuse, etc., is not a true helper to her husband. She is actually enabling him to sin. 5. God s creation design of woman Genesis 2:18: The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" 6. The Hebrew word translated helper in Genesis 2:18 is ezer. In the Old Testament this word often refers to God as our Helper. (Defends) Exodus 18:4 [Moses]... said, "My father's God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of Pharaoh."

17 17 (Sees and cares for suffering) Psalm 10:14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. (Supports) Psalm 20:2 May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion. (Protects) Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. (Delivers from distress) Psalm 70:5 Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O LORD, do not delay. (Rescues) Psalm 72:12-14 For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight. (Comforts) Psalm 86:17... you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me. 7. The Problem: The Fall Genesis 3:1-7 When Adam and Eve rejected God s authority (sinned) they lost their relationship with Him, thus they lost their ability to glorify Him. They lost their ability to be and do what they were created to be and do. Eve lost her ability to be a helper. 8. The Solution The Gospel: Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." This is the first revelation of the gospel. God promised to send One who would obey perfectly and thus restore the relationship with God that Adam and Eve lost. This is a covenant of grace because they could do nothing to earn this gift. What was Adam s response to this gospel promise? Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living Genesis 3:20. Because of the gospel, Adam was restored to headship. Naming is an indication of headship. Eve means life-giver. This is not just biological. Because of the gospel, she was restored to her ability to be a life-giver in every relationship and situation. Being a helper/life-giver is our redemptive calling. Our own sin and the influence of culture tempt us to be life-takers to live for self. It is only the power of the gospel that can transform us from life-takers to life-givers. The helper words are life-giving words. 9. Helper/Life-Giver Hinderer/Life-taker Exodus 18:4 Defends attacks

18 18 Psalm 10:14 Sees, cares for oppressed indifferent, unconcerned for oppressed Psalm 20:2 Supports weakens Psalm 33:20 Shields, protects leaves unprotected Psalm 70:5 Delivers from distress causes distress Ps. 72:12-14 Rescues poor, weak, needy ignores poor, weak, needy Psalm 86:17 Comforts causes discomfort Woman s helper design and life-giving mission can be summarized as community and compassion. We were designed and redeemed to nurture relationships and to demonstrate practical compassion. After revealing the covenant of grace the promise of a Savior God shows us throughout the rest of the Bible how we are to live in covenant with Him and with His other children. But first, He gives us the contrast of the opposite way of life. 10. Genesis 4: The Way of Cain the Way of the Cross The Way The Way Of Cain of Christ 8... And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. 9 Then the LORD said to Cain, Where is Abel your brother? He said, I do not know; am I my brother s keeper?... The way of Cain: independence The way of Christ: interdependence WE ARE OUR BROTHER S AND SISTER S KEEPER. 16 Then Cain went away from the presence of the LORD and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden. The way of Cain: self-rule The way of Christ: God s rule His Word is our authority 17 Cain knew his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. When he built a city, he called the name of the city after the name of his son, Enoch... The way of Cain: self-glory building our own kingdom The way of Christ: God s glory seeking to build His kingdom The way of Cain is the way of self; it is the way of death. Biblical womanhood makes no sense and it is impossible in this system. The way of the covenant is the way of Christ; it is the way of life. Biblical womanhood is a covenantal concept it fits in this system. And Jesus has given us an incredible promise to empower us for this calling: John 14:14-18 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ASSIGNMENT be prepared to discuss the following:

19 19 1. Reflect on the verses under #6. How would you describe the words in parenthesis that show how God is our helper? What difference does this make in your understanding of our calling to be a helper? 2. Reflect on the Helper/Life-Giver Hinderer/Life-Taker chart (#9). What difference will it make if you are a life-giver in your relationships in your family, at church, with your friends, etc.? Think about your most difficult relationship. Pray about what it will mean to be a life-giver in that relationship and ask Jesus to be your Helper to empower you to glorify Him. What are some ways our T2D group can encourage and equip you to glorify God by being a lifegiver? 3. Reflect on the way of Cain and the way of Christ (#10). Does the world encourage women to walk in the way of Cain or the way of Christ? Explain your answer. Is our natural bent to walk in the way of Cain, or the way of Christ? Give some examples. 4. List any questions or thoughts you have about biblical womanhood. T2D Talking Points Keep every discussion focused on helping women think biblically and live covenantally by continually asking questions such as: What will it mean to glorify God in your situation/relationship? What will it mean to live under the authority of God s Word rather than your own feelings? Are there any ways that you are a life-taker in this situation/relationship? What will it mean to be a life-giver in this situation/relationship? How can we be our sister s keeper and help you to be a life-giver?

20 20 Session 3 Preparation: 1. Prepare to lead a discussion of Spiritual Mothering by answering the assignment questions that were given to the women: What chapter or section was especially helpful to you and why? Which spiritual mothering story was especially meaningful and why? As you consider the entire book, list things you want women in your group to learn. Be prepared to tell about a woman who spiritually mothered you. 2. Make copies of the Session 3 Handout. 3. Think of women in your church who have had a spiritual mothering ministry. Prepare cards for women to sign for them. Another option: have cards and let each woman write a card to someone. 4. Assignment for Session 4 Make copies of the Session 4 Handout. Give this to the women and ask them to be prepared to discuss it. Focus of Session 3: For women to get an overview of the book Spiritual Mothering as they discuss it together. To continue to nurture relationships among the leaders by giving them an opportunity to tell a personal story about a woman who spiritually mothered them. Discussion Guide: 1. Review Sessions 1 and 2 Ask: How did Sessions 1 and 2, foundational principles of a T2D ministry and of biblical womanhood, help you as you read Spiritual Mothering?

21 21 Think about the T2D Talking Points (Session 2 handout). How do you think these will help you lead discussions? You may want to encourage leaders to use material from Sessions 1 and 2 in their groups. Or, you may want to use this material at the kick-off event when all of the groups are together. 2. Ask women to summarize their assigned chapters. 3. Go over the assigned questions 1, 2, and 3: (1) What chapter or section was especially helpful to you and why? (2) Which spiritual mothering story was especially meaningful and why? (3) As you consider the entire book, list things you want women in your group to learn. 4. Ideas to help T2D leaders facilitate a discussion of the book Distribute the Session 3 Handout: Study Questions. Leaders are to copy this and give it to their groups at the kick-off. They may want to give women journals with the questions written in the front. Leaders may want to add other questions and information on the handout they will give women in their groups, for example: Date, time and place they will meet. Leaders should encourage women to keep a journal to record their thoughts as they study each chapter and the prayer requests of other women. Caution: Be sure nothing is written in a prayer journal that would be hurtful to another person if they read it. Teach women to pray Scripture. Encourage them to select specific Scriptures to pray for one another and for situations. Record these Scriptures beside the requests. Also record the date and as time goes on they can note answers to prayers. Explain that leaders should be flexible and creative. They determine the amount of time spent on discussion, prayer, and fellowship. However, emphasize that it is important to cover the entire book in the course of the year. Leaders should be sensitive to the needs and circumstances of the group. For example, if it will be difficult for a group to meet during the summer because children are out of school, a leader may suggest that they meet for play dates with the children, continue to read the assigned chapters and send each other a summary by .

22 22 It may take several times to find the right approach for your group. At the beginning some groups may be hesitant to share their answers while other groups need to have timelimits because everyone wants to talk. The dynamic will also change as the women become more comfortable with each other. In the beginning you may need to spend more time building relationships. Even though you assign chapters for each month and give study questions, it is important to assure women that they should not be hesitant to attend if they did not read the chapter. Emphasize that the important thing is for them to be with the group. It is likely that if they are too busy to read the chapter they need to come and be refueled by listening to the discussion and by praying together. 5. Assigned question #4: Be prepared to tell about a woman who spiritually mothered you. After the women answer this question, ask: Do you feel that you got to know each other better as you heard those stories? Discuss the importance of hearing stories that help us see a woman s heart. Encourage them to use questions with their group that will gradually lead the women to know and appreciate each other more. Ask: As you read the spiritual mothering stories in the book, and heard stories from each other, what have you learned about what it means to have a nurturing relationship with other women? In this discussion emphasize that spiritual mothering is not a high-profile ministry. It is quietly and consistently being available to intentionally encourage and equip other women to live for God s glory. 6. Sign a card for women in your church or let the women write cards of appreciation. 7. Assignment for Session 4 Distribute the Session 4 Handout. Ask the women to read this and be prepared to discuss it. 8. Box Talk Sometimes it is good to end with the box talk since it leads easily to further conversation. Session 3 Handout Study Questions T2D Leaders: Below are suggested questions to use for discussing chapters in Spiritual Mothering. It is suggested that you give the women these or similar questions, along with a schedule of which chapter you will discuss each month.

23 23 Read the assigned chapter of Spiritual Mothering and use these questions to prepare for our discussion. (1) Write a brief summary of the chapter. (2) What is one part of this chapter that was especially helpful to you? (3) Do you have any questions about this chapter? (4) How are you challenged by this chapter? How will it help you to be a life-giver? (5) Based on what you learned from this chapter, how can the group pray for you? (6) Do A Spiritual Mothering Challenge at the end of the chapter. Preparation: Session 4 1. Prayerfully prepare to lead a discussion of the Session 4 Handout: A Gospel Focus. 2. You may want to create a handout with some of the practical suggestions for leading a T2D group that are listed in the Discussion Guide, #2. 3. You may want to create a handout with the assignment for Session 5. Look ahead to Session 5 and determine if there are additional assignments you want to make to prepare for the kick-off event. 4. Whenever sign-up for T2D groups is completed, give each leader a list of the women in her group. She is to call and welcome them to the group, give the date and time for the kick-off and any other information that will be helpful. Focus of Session 4: To review concepts in Sessions 1-3 by discussing the material and the life-situation on the Session 4 Handout. To apply concepts from Sessions 1-3 by discussing practical ways to lead a T2D group.

24 24 To continue to nurture relationships among the leaders by giving women an opportunity to share Scriptures that have been especially helpful. Discussion Guide: 1. Discuss the Session 4 Handout. Ask for reactions to #1 and #2 on the handout. Share answers to #3. Discuss the life-situation on the handout. This discussion gives an opportunity for women to apply all they have learned in these training sessions. Hopefully they will immediately go to the T2D Talking Points listed on the Session 2 Handout. This discussion will reinforce the value of the talking points. It will also demonstrate the importance of asking questions that will help women think biblically rather than giving them solutions. Suggestions for leading the discussion: (1) T2D Talking Point: What will it mean to glorify God in your situation/relationship? This question will help the woman begin to re-focus from herself and her situation to Christ. (2) T2D Talking Point: What will it mean to live under the authority of God s Word rather than your own feelings? This will continue to re-focus her. Guide her to acknowledge that living under God s authority means that we trust His character and His promises, and we obey Him. God is sovereign, He loves her, and it is only the power of the gospel that can change her or her husband. Questions 1 and 2 help her confront the fact that she is seeking her desire rather than God s glory. (3) T2D Talking Point: Are there any ways that you are a life-taker in this situation/relationship? Use this question to help her begin to identify idols in her own heart. Is her desire for her husband to be a spiritual leader an idol? What does she mean by spiritual leadership? Does she have unrealistic expectations of him? Does she need to repent of expecting him to be more than he is spiritually ready to be? Is she failing to trust God to work in her husband s heart?

25 25 A desire for spiritual leadership is good, but manipulating to fulfill that desire is sin because it is a failure to trust God. Emphasize that even good things can become idols when our desire for them hinders our trust and obedience to Christ. Gently remind her that we often cannot change our situations, we can never change another person, but we can pray for God to change us. This begins by recognizing our idols and repenting. (4) T2D Talking Point: What will it mean to be a life-giver in this situation/relationship? Use the material on the handout on a biblical understanding of love. Emphasize that we can give love even when there is no emotion of love. Go over the words on the Life-Giver/Life-Taker chart from the Session 2 Handout. Encourage her to ask the Lord for wisdom and grace to defend, care for, support, comfort, etc. Use the material on the handout on biblical acceptance. Accepting and respecting her husband because of the gospel because she has been accepted by Christ will transform her into a life-giver. She will begin to cultivate a life-giving relationship with him. (5) T2D Talking Point: How can we be our sister s keeper and help you to be a lifegiver? Ask what she needs from you and others. This will lead her to acknowledge her need for accountability and support. Assure her of your prayers and support, and of your confidence that the Lord will complete what He has begun in her. Emphasize her need to stay in the Word, in worship and in fellowship with others. Give her a Scripture that you will pray for her. 2. Discuss practical applications of the biblical foundations for a T2D ministry that you presented in Session 1. This will also review things you have already discussed. Caution: Emphasize that leaders should not be too ambitious. Do not try to do everything the first year. Take time to develop relationships. Below are some suggestions. (1) Stay gospel-focused Whereas T2D groups are designed to disciple women, leaders should be sensitive to the possibility that there may be women who are not Christians. Be sure the gospel is clearly presented.

26 26 Biblical discipleship is transformational. The objective of T2D groups is to equip women to think biblically about all of life, including their womanhood, and to live for God s glory. Always point women to the transforming power of the gospel to change them from life-takers to live-givers. Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. T2D is not intended to put women in a behavioral box. Leaders should never promote personal agendas (I homeschool, or do not work outside the home, or whatever and I think everyone should make this decision). Leaders should be slow to give solutions (I followed a strict schedule with our children. I think this is the best plan, even though your husband s work schedule varies week to week.) You do not need to have an answer for every problem. Teach women to pray the prayer of Jehoshaphat: 2 Chronicles 20. Some men came and told Jehoshaphat, A great multitude is coming against you... Then Jehoshaphat was afraid and set his face to seek the LORD... And Jehoshaphat stood in the assembly... and said, O LORD, God of our fathers, are you not God in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. In your hand are power and might, so that none is able to withstand you... Did you not, our God, drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel, and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?... O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. And the Spirit of the LORD came upon Jahaziel... And he said, Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God s. Tomorrow go down against them... You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you. We don t have to know specific solutions when great multitudes of fear, doubt and difficulties come against us or against other women. Discipling another woman means helping her remember the gospel reflect on the character and promises of God and look to Him through prayer, Bible study and worship. Stand firm on His Word and go forward trusting Him to fight the battle. (2) Stay church-focused