Relationships, Not Buildings: The Real Mission to the Dominican Republic

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1 Relationships, Not Buildings: The Real Mission to the Dominican Republic Class in the daycare Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic by Carol Milam

Because of that, I later accepted a long assignment to Bangalore, India, with my employer, and Frank retired and accompanied me.

2 Early in May my husband Frank Ogden and I traveled to the Dominican Republic with thirteen others from the Diocese of East Carolina. Frank and I had our first mission experience, to Honduras, in 2004 when we were parishioners at Trinity Church in Boston. Because of that, I later accepted a long assignment to Bangalore, India, with my employer, and Frank retired and accompanied me. We returned to Boston four years ago but, finding ourselves wanting to be closer to family after our stint overseas, moved to Wilmington in July 2009 to be near our son and his family. Upon joining Church of the Servant we became involved in its outreach ministries, and when we heard that St. Andrews on the Sound was coordinating a mission to the sister diocese of the Diocese of East Carolina to renovate a church daycare center, we were excited to join. Recently we heard that the trend is to use just the word mission rather than mission trip so that we recapture the holiness of the experience. With that in mind, I hope to share with you my experience of the mission to Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, though not all the events of the trip. Our mission began with a day of stress and miracles. Fifteen Episcopalians from various churches across the diocese gathered at Raleigh-Durham International Airport at 4:30 a.m. on April 30 only to learn that our flight to Miami, then on to Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, was cancelled. The airlines could get us to Miami later, but there wasn t another flight to Puerto Plata until Sunday. Our mission coordinator, the Reverend Mark Powell, spent a very long time with an agent working out a new arrangement or a miracle. We could all get on the same flight to Chicago in an hour, and then with a rush through O Hare Airport, all 15 could board a flight to Puerto Rico. After a mere 60-minute wait we could all fly to Santiago, Dominican Republic, where we could catch an hour s bus ride to Puerto Plata. When have you heard of getting 15 people on three consecutive flights on a Saturday at the last minute? We arrived at our Hotel Porto Fino only five hours later than planned. Reverend Mark had given us a wonderful article about successful mission work that emphasized building relationships over building things. He advised us, If there is a choice between talking with the parishioners in the church and painting, talk to them. Our first meeting with our host congregation (other than Padre Bienvenido I ll say more about him later) came Sunday morning at Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey. Exchanging the Peace was just like that at Church of the Servant, with people moving around the church greeting and hugging each other. The warmth amazed members of our team whose only experience of the Peace was sharing a polite handshake and a smile with persons to left and right, and even Frank and I found the Dominicans hospitality to us strangers a wonderful gift. The mission was only my second, but I am learning that the purpose of mission work is not "us going somewhere and fixing/building things for those less fortunate." It is more about experiencing our common humanity and building loving relationships with people of another culture where we are in the minority. Both those who come and those who live there work hard to understand each other despite cultural differences and language barriers. Hector Jr. (left) with Frank Ogden

We are striving to be God's church, all sharing our differing gifts. And I find that, perhaps because we don t share language, we are quicker to hug and to smile in appreciation.

Another major misconception about mission is that we have come to proselytize and convert others to the Episcopal faith. We have not--at least not with words.

3 We are striving to be God's church, all sharing our differing gifts. And I find that, perhaps because we don t share language, we are quicker to hug and to smile in appreciation. The first lesson of mission is that it concerns the building of relationships and not things. Otherwise, we could just send the money. Another major misconception about mission is that we have come to proselytize and convert others to the Episcopal faith. We have not--at least not with words. A few people in the neighborhood around Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey stopped by and asked, What are you doing here? and Who paid for you to come? When they learned that we paid our own way to help a church in their community, they couldn t quite believe it. Why would we leave the comfort of our developed world to come and repair a daycare center at Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey? The local newspaper heard about us and came to interview the vicar about what was going on in the church. If that curiosity gets someone who has not been there before to walk into Christo Rey, then we may be helping convert others to the Episcopal faith. Padre Bienvenido Lopez, Vicar of Missions, definitely is converting people to the Episcopal Church in the same way the newly formed Christian Church was begun in Acts. Although Catholicism is the state religion, only 20 per cent of the people attend Mass. Padre s personal goal is to start six new parishes in each place he is assigned while he is young enough and still has the energy. (He says that with a smile.) He already has four parishes going in and around Puerto Plata. We visited two, San Marcos and San Francisco, after church on Sunday. San Marcos, where we attended a Eucharistic service, is a one-room structure in a poor section of town but has bought land and is raising money to build a new church. To start a new mission church, Padre Benvenido visits a family. Before he leaves, he asks if he may pray with them, and if they agree, he keeps coming back. San Francisco is such a house church. Two wonderful women have opened the yard in front of their houses for worshippers. They hope to raise money for a carport-like structure so they can conduct services out of the rain. Padre hopes we will return to help build these churches at San Marcos and San Francisco once they have raised the money. With the hard work of dedicated priests such as Padre Bienvenido and his staff, the Diocese of the Dominican Republic is the fastest growing diocese in the Episcopal Church. If our presence can raise interest in the work of these dedicated clergy, I guess you can say that mission work still has to do with conversion. St. Francis of Assissi said something like, Preach the Gospel at all times; use words if necessary. I have found the mission itself to be the only witness of my faith and my God that is needed. Words would only get in the way. What about the Work? Our tasks were to scrape and repaint the daycare center operated by Iglesia Episcopal Christo Rey for infants to five-year-olds and to repair the cartoons on the outside of the building. The daycare center allows both parents to work outside the home to support their families. On Monday we moved the furniture and beds from the daycare center into the sanctuary. The preparation for painting became a major undertaking when the ceiling concrete began to fall off. We quickly realized that we had to remove the loose concrete or it could fall and cause serious injury. Hard overhead work on ladders followed for many days. Fortunately, a master builder who is a member of the church supervised the work and brought his son, a mason, to repair the torn-out area. We knew we were not there to judge, BUT in the U.S., we would replace the deteriorating roof before we repaired the ceiling. Always on mission

investment in replacing the entire roof at this time did not mesh with their long-term plans.

4 one struggles not to judge the local people but to recognize, then let go of the We Americans know how this really should be done mindset. During the week we learned that they did plan to repair the roof, but they also planned to tear down the entire daycare center and build a two-story building in its place within five years, so the investment in replacing the entire roof at this time did not mesh with their long-term plans. We Americans were just uninformed, as is often the case when we judge others quickly without striving to understand their point of view first. Another good lesson learned. Monday was a typical start to a typical mission. Repairing the cartoons (shown above) did not prove easier. As we began to scrape them, the paint peeled off in sheets. At the end of each day, our group talked about the roses and thorns of our daily experience. At the end of Day 1, I felt the cartoons now looked worse than when we came. I said, My goal on a mission is to do no harm. Today I did harm. And I m not sure I can undo it. Others worried we could not get the repairs done before we left. And we had a problem with the paint that had been purchased latex over oil won t work. Padre bought some oil-based paint to solve the problem. One important aspect of a mission is that our presence energizes the parishioners just as a visit from the Bishop enlivens our church. If outsiders care about them and their church, they care as much or more. Women cooked our lunch daily and cleaned up afterward. Several men took off work (meaning no pay ) to come and help us when the amount of repairs was delaying our painting. The master builder and his son lost pay all week. The head of the Vestry s entire extended fam- ily-- teenagers and college students, uncles, wives--came every day to scrape, paint, or talk with us. The youth taught us to dance and to laugh at ourselves. And they stayed to continue the work after we went back to our hotel at 4:30 p.m. This is not the case on every mission, but the opportunity to work alongside the members of the church definitely helped to build relationships. I have found that a mission works on me more than I work on the mission. Seeing myself as the stranger in another culture, expanding my understanding of that culture and letting go of my prejudices are ways the mission works on me. Seeing the people in poverty and not just the poverty is another way a mission works on me. Experiencing how sharing my few gifts and my love can make such a huge difference to those who feel forgotten by the developed world humbles me. But first, I have to love with my arms wide open and allow the stranger to enter my heart. I have to recognize and let go of my American superiority to respect the worth and dignity of our hosts. They are not people to be pitied. In fact, those of us in the developed world may be the ones in need of pity. Learning to love from others who don t have our material wealth but have a boatload of human wealth is heart-filling. I always feel well fed by the experience of sharing God s deep love with strangers. Finding and serving God in faces that don't look like mine is the real work of my mission.

And, by the way, with God s help, we finished beautifying the daycare center before we left. Do your best and trust in God to provide is another lesson from mission.

It seems to me that we bond with the children first, perhaps because we are shy about not speaking the language and we know how to mime with children, and because smiles and hugs are universally

An older child checks their spelling. A relationship has begun. Later as we are walking through the neighborhood, a teenage girl begins a conversation in English. Do we like to dance? We hear music.

5 And, by the way, with God s help, we finished beautifying the daycare center before we left. Do your best and trust in God to provide is another lesson from mission. The Children The children we meet are a key part of the mission experience. It seems to me that we bond with the children first, perhaps because we are shy about not speaking the language and we know how to mime with children, and because smiles and hugs are universally understood. On Sunday, as we enter Iglesia Episcopal San Marcos, we are greeted by smiling children. One of our team members asks the children to write their names in her notebook. An older child checks their spelling. A relationship has begun. Later as we are walking through the neighborhood, a teenage girl begins a conversation in English. Do we like to dance? We hear music. She dances and we dance. Another relationship begins. Camera ready, I begin to take photographs of the beautiful children. They smile and laugh and dance and perform for the camera like children everywhere. The advantage of shooting digital is instant viewing. I stop, turn the camera around, and show them their pictures. Wet little fingers only just removed from mouths point into the camera screen, and names are called out as I move the screen from one picture to the next. Giggles and squeals of glee erupt around the Nikon. Other mission team members shared their photos, and before the week was over we were all handing our cameras over to the teenagers to take pictures. Photography became instant glue with the children. Team members also volunteered a day in the center, only to talk about what hard work it was. First of all, their move to the sanctuary and our visiting and taking photographs had the children not just energized but bouncing off walls. Permissive love and overly excited children were too much for some members of our team. One father of four boys came out of the daycare after two hours and desperately asked those painting tedious black lines around the cartoon, Please, let me paint! That night at roses and thorns the children figured in both categories. The parents pay a fee for the children to attend the daycare. Some do not have the money to pay, but the children are still coming. Assistance is greatly needed to provide scholarships so the children of working parents can be well cared for. As Susan Hermann from St. Andrews on the Sound said, It is so much more than a preschool. Not only do they feed the children, give them naps, and do some instruction or arts and crafts, they also give each child a bath after lunch! What they are doing here is vital. Our Bishop Daniel has asked each church in our diocese to raise money for scholarships to the parish schools throughout the Dominican Republic. Three hundred dollars will send a child to school for one year. We are forming a committee to determine how best to raise that money at Church of the Servant. If you are interested in participating, please contact Frank Ogden, Outreach Committee Chairperson, at milam_ogden@yahoo.com or (857)

Reflections on Diocesan Mission to San Pablo Apostol, Jimani, Dominican Republic

Reflections on Diocesan Mission to San Pablo Apostol, Jimani, Dominican Republic April 12-20, 2013 Our first sunrise As I reflect on the Mission Team from the Episcopal Diocese of East Carolina s week