The Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness

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1 Faith Evangelical Free Church July 14, 2013 Brian Anderson The Fruit of the Spirit: Gentleness In his book, Practice of Godliness, Jerry Bridges quotes George Bethune, who wrote these words about gentleness over 170 years ago: Perhaps no grace is less prayed for, or less cultivated than gentleness... and seldom do we reflect that not to be gentle is sin. (The Practice of Godliness, 219) Bethune makes an interesting point. Have you ever prayed for gentleness? As I ve reflected on this this week, I m not sure I ever have. I ve prayed to be more loving and patient and self-controlled and a lot of other things, but I can t remember actually praying that I d be more gentle. For some reason, we more readily see the problems with not being patient or loving, but when it comes to gentleness maybe it seems like a nice, but not an essential virtue in our lives. But it is essential. In Galatians 5:23, Paul says it is one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit that God wants produce in each of our lives. Gentleness is a virtue that helps us make a greater difference for good in this world. This morning I want to define gentleness, look at how it was modeled in Jesus life and then I want to look at how when we are gentle in our interactions we are in a position to make a greater difference for good in this world. I. Gentleness Defined 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. The term that Paul uses in Galatians 5:23 is a word that is most often translated gentleness, but sometimes it is translated humility. The King James translators used the word, meekness in the sense of enduring offenses with patience and restraint. Gentleness is a word that has the sense of being considerate toward others. In classical Greek it was a word that could be used of animals that were powerful, yet tame and under control and so some have described gentleness as strength under control. One helpful picture of gentleness would be a father with a newborn baby. I remember those first baths and diaper changes and just holding our children when they were newborns. I was so careful with them. I didn t want them to get hurt. I was mindful of their nature and treated them appropriately. That s gentleness. The opposite of gentleness would be one who is hard, harsh or stern. It is being abrasive with people. People who are not gentle are arrogant and they might try to dominate and intimidate others. They also might have the attitude of, I m just going to say what I think and let the chips fall where they may. That s is the opposite of gentleness.

2 God wants to make us gentle people; people who endure offense with patience and restraint. He wants to make us people who are always considerate of others. He wants to make us people who live with strength under control. II. Gentleness Modeled No one modeled this better than Jesus did. I want to look at a couple of passages where we see the gentleness of Jesus. First, in Jesus invitation to come and find rest in him by following Him as a disciple in Matthew 11:28-29, he says this about himself: 28 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. When Jesus talks about taking his yoke upon oneself, he is talking about following him as a disciple. He is asking us to entrust ourselves to him and to step under his leadership. To entrust yourself to someone and step under his leadership would be a scary thing if that person was a harsh, domineering, exacting person, but that is not who Jesus is. He s gentle. He s not hard, hard or stern. He is considerate. Let me give you another example. Matthew records that Jesus directed his disciples to find a donkey that he will ride into Jerusalem for what is known as the Triumphal Entry. And that s how he enters Jerusalem - on a donkey. In Matthew 21:4, Matthew then points out that this event is rooted in what the Old Testament prophecies had said about the nature of the messiah. 4 This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet: 5 SAY TO THE DAUGHTER OF ZION, BEHOLD YOUR KING IS COMING TO YOU, GENTLE, AND MOUNTED ON A DONKEY, EVEN ON A COLT, THE FOAL OF A BEAST OF BURDEN. Jesus didn t ride into Jerusalem on a white stallion as a conqueror. He didn t enter Jerusalem displaying his great power. No, he came in gentleness. He road an animal that suggested peace, not war. He is a gentle king. We see this time and time again in the Gospels as Jesus interacts with broken and sinful people. He treats them with gentleness. Now, sometimes there may be the thought that gentleness is just weakness. I think as virtue men may struggle with this a bit. So much around us tells us that that way to succeed is through power and force and assertiveness and that if you take the approach of gentleness you are just weak and you are going to get walked all over. Well, here are a couple of comments about that. First, through his humble, gentle approach, Jesus launched a world-wide movement that has changed history. He did this not through force and intimidation and through being harsh and demanding. He was gentle. 2

3 But here s the second comment I wanted to make: There is a kind of pseudogentleness that is just weakness and passivity. But that was not how Jesus expressed his gentleness. There is an interesting juxtaposition in Matthew 21. In verse 5 you have this comment about Jesus gentleness, but then what is the first thing Matthew says Jesus does once he rides this donkey into Jerusalem? Verse 12: 12 And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. Jesus is a gentle king, but he wasn t passive. He wasn t weak. He could take strong and decisive action when he needed to. Gentleness is not weakness. It s not passivity. It is strength under control. Jesus is the perfect model of this for us. That gentleness was how Jesus conducted his life and carried out his ministry, and yet he effectively launched a world-wide, world-changing movement leads into my second point and that is that gentleness makes a difference. III. Gentleness Makes a Difference I want to look at four passages that suggest that living with gentleness in our interactions makes a difference in the kind of influence our lives will have. First, gentleness helps promote a healthy church. Paul says that we are to relate to each other in the body of Christ in gentleness. In Ephesians 4, Paul wrote: 1 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, 3 being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1 3 Now, gentleness is not the only virtue that we are called to express. But gentleness is one of the ways that we are to relate to each other. It is part of how we walk in a manner worthy of our calling and it is one of the qualities that helps preserve the unity of the Spirit. Unity in the church is a critical issue. It is at the heart of being a healthy church. Jesus cares deeply about our unity, because out of unity God is revealed to the world. And so if, when we gather, we relate to each other with gentleness and not harshness and selfinterest, we are in a better position to maintain and cultivate a healthy church. Gentleness makes that kind of difference. Second, gentleness helps restore an erring brother/sister. Gentleness is a quality that Paul says must be present with anyone who is seeking to restore a sinning brother. In Galatians 6:1 Paul says: 3

4 1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. I have a friend who I would describe as a man s man. There is nothing weak about him. If I had something really hard to go and do and I needed a strong man to go with me, he d be the kind of guy I would want right beside me. He is the kind of guy who won t back down from a challenge. But you know what? When I ve been stuck in areas of my Christian life; stuck in an area of sin, this is a man that I m drawn to go talk to. Why? Because he is gentle. I know that I can lay out my stuff before him and he will treat me with gentleness. And that gentleness invites honesty and transparency. That gentleness creates a safe place. Gentleness helps restore an erring brother or sister. Gentleness makes a difference. Third, gentleness increases our effectiveness with opposition. From time to time you might encounter someone who is actually opposes God; someone who opposes you because of your faith. Listen to what Paul writes to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:24-26: 24 The Lord s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, 25 with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, 26 and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. Paul is not saying, Don t stand up for truth. He does tell Timothy to correct those who are in opposition. But he also says that there is an approach that works best. Sometimes when we are confronted with those who oppose the truth, we want to blast them out of the water with the truth that we have. But Paul says that it is not just the truth that matters; it matters how you present the truth. Paul says, With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition. When I think about some of the larger cultural issues that are going on in our world, as the church has sought to defend the truth, which we are called to do, I m not sure how well we ve done it with gentleness. I think too often the church has defended the truth with anger and self-righteousness. We know we are standing on truth; and so we feel justified coming out swinging. But our model is Jesus, and he road into Jerusalem on a donkey not a white stallion. I don t think these cultural battles are going away. I think this is our reality. As a church there are huge issues that we need to wrestle with and stand up for, but our approach matters. We are to correct with gentleness (v. 25) if perhaps God might grant them to come to repentance. 4

5 Gentleness makes a difference. Finally, gentleness increases our evangelistic effectiveness. Peter says this in 1 Peter 3: 14 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence. Peter is writing to believers who are suffering opposition. They are suffering for the sake of righteousness. In that context he tells them to always be ready to make a defense for what they believe. Be bold and strong in doing this. But notice that he says that how they do this matters. They are to do so with gentleness and reverence. Make your defense, but do so with gentleness. You may be able to blow people out of the water with your logic and apologetic arguments. You may be able to win the battle. But you will lose if you don t do so with gentleness. Gentleness increases your evangelistic effectiveness. Gentleness makes a difference. If we want a healthy church, try gentleness. If you want to help set a sinning brother back on the right path, try gentleness. If you want to deal effectively with opposition, try gentleness. If you want to be effective in your evangelistic efforts, try gentleness. And the list can go on. If you want to make a difference with your kids, try gentleness. If you want to make a difference with your spouse, try gentleness. If you want to make a difference with your boss, try gentleness. Gentleness makes a difference. When you think about being gentle with unreasonable people or irritating people or people who are opposed to you it is not natural, right? Gentleness is not what you will find naturally coming out of you. And yet, we are to be gentle. How is this possible? It is possible because Jesus, who is gentle, lives within us. Last week when Lowell preached on faithfulness he made the comment that one of the dangers of a series like we are in as we ve talked about love, joy, peace or gentleness is that we end up defining them and then trying to figure out how we can do them better. But Lowell made the point, that we can be loving, or patient or any of these things because it is present in through the life of Jesus, who is in us. I totally agree. Yes, we are told to put these virtues on. And so we do need to seek to cultivate these things in our lives. But if all we do is try to produce these things through our own effort, we will come up short, because these virtues are the work of Christ within us. And so our main efforts need to be focused on walking in the Spirit. 5

6 I want to share a story that I ve shared before that illustrates this a bit. It s actually about my struggle to be patient. But the same principle applies to any of these virtues. Back in 1994, we spent a year in Hungary doing ministry. During that year, we lived in a little second floor apartment. Drew was 4 and Philip was 2 at the time. The floor was an old wood floor with a lot of loose boards and so when the boys would run around on it, it would sound like a herd of cattle to the person living below. She would sometimes come up and ask us to be quiet. And so we constantly had to be on our boys to be quiet. Over the year I found that I was becoming more and more irritated and impatient with them. I d loose my temper when they would not be quiet. The reality was that the situation didn't make me impatient, it simply revealed that I was an impatient person that had a temper. Anyway, we returned to the States and I continued to feel that I was interacting with the boys in the same way impatient, irritable, losing my temper when they didn t respond like I wanted them to. This really bothered me. I loved them and hated that I could be so harsh with them at times. I d try to do better. I d vow that I was going be more patient and gentle with them. But then I d just blow it again. One Sunday as I sat in church I sensed God saying to me, Brian, you cannot be patient on your own. The patience you try to muster up on your own is sort of like plastic flowers. It can look good for a time, but it isn t real. Real patience comes from me. At that point, within my heart I called out to God and said I cannot do it. I cannot be patient. I confessed my sin of impatience and anger and asked Jesus to change my life. I came to a point of brokenness and dependence. Over time I sensed something different in my heart. I would get into situations that could provoke anger and impatience, but I sensed real peace and patience in my heart. Not from me. Not from my resolve to do better, but from the life of Jesus in me. You see my confession of sin and my acknowledgement of dependence on Jesus was a movement on my part to more closely abide in him. The result of that was real spiritual fruit. My kids know that I still have a long way to go. As we think about any of these aspects of the fruit of the Spirit that we ve been talking about, we need to understand that it is the FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT not our own selfimprovement program. Yes, we need to work at these things. But if that is all we are trying to do, we are just pursuing a self-help effort. Christ offers us more than that. He offers his very life. We need to make sure that we are connected to the source and letting His life flow through us. We stay well connected in brokenness, faith and dependence. Amen. 6