Husbands are to provide companionship for their wives. Sharing a home is no substitute for sharing a life.

Transcription

1 Introduction The Epistle of Peter broadly covers the themes of God s grace in salvation (1:3-2:10); God s grace in submission (2:11-3:12); and God s grace in suffering (3:13-5:11). Peter has already addressed the issue of submission to authorities and institutions (2:11-17); submission to masters (2:18-25); and now Peter addresses the issue of submission in the home (3:1-7). Later in the chapter Peter deals with the issue of submission in the church (3:8-12). Now Peter will give some of the duties of the Christian husband. Husbands are to be companions (7a); considerate (7b); cooperative (7c) and careful (7d). And make no mistake...peter is addressing Christian husbands. The Scripture s message to the unbelieving husband is to repent of their sin and unbelief and trust Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Will the unbelieving husband benefit from the advice given here? I suspect not. Because the principles and duties are not simply advice; they are commands; difficult commands; impossible to follow fully apart from the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. The Christian Husband Lives With His Wife (v.7a) 1Peter 3:1 (NKJV) Husbands, likewise, dwell with them... Husbands are to provide companionship for their wives. Sharing a home is no substitute for sharing a life. The phrase translated dwell with has the Greek present participle (used as an imperative) sunoikein; of the verb synoikeo (only here in the Greek N.T.). It is a compound verb; syn (together) and oikeo (dwell) from oikos, house --so living together in the same house. Today we would say live with (NASB, NIV). The word seems to carry the meaning of proximity and intimacy. Husbands are to live with their wives. There are times and circumstances when that is not possible. Clearly in ancient times husbands had to travel, to conduct business, or to provide or protect or pursue issues necessary for family or country. But the Apostle leaves us with the impression that this is the exception and not the rule. Christian husbands are not leave their wives or order the wives to leave. The Christian Husband Understands His Wife (v.7b) 1

2 ...with understanding or careful consideration. The command is revolutionary. Peter s command is not live with her and understand the way you are. When a husband says, you know how I am --the wife s response can respectfully be and perhaps we now need to discover how I am. With understanding does not simply mean knowing her dress size or shoe size or favorite color or favorite food. It means in part to understand the way she is put together. Chuck Swindoll: It involves perceiving her innermost make-up, discerning her deepseated concerns and fears, helping her work through them in the safety and security of your love. The Bible commands husbands not only to live with their wives but to do so with understanding. No offense--but husbands are not called to live with their wives as thoughtless, ignorant fools; or a close minded selfish bigot. Even as I say these words and I am absolutely aware that I am not exempt from this command. My only comfort is not that I am wise and understanding--but rather confident that Jesus can and will help me. Husbands are to understand their wives, the meaning of marriage, the power of God, and our duties as husbands. That s a tall order. Hundreds of years ago Matthew Henry gave timeless advice; [Husbands are to dwell] with the wife according to knowledge; not according to lust, as brutes; nor according to passion, as devils; but according to knowledge, as wise and sober men, who know the word of God and their own duty (Vol.6 p.1023). In the ancient world men often regarded women as confused, ignorant and not able to be educated. In order for a Christian husband to understand his Christian wife; will that require coming to grips with prejudice or cherished stereotypes that may color our understanding? A friend sent me an . The command seems to go deeper that just have a kind but clueless attitude; but to have a careful understanding of her needs, her desires, her gifts and abilities (see Life Application Bible Commentary p.86). The Christian Husband Honors His Wife (v.7c) 2

3 ...giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel The word honor is timen and means to value; to esteem; to prize; to count as precious. The word was used to describe precious jewels, priceless objects; and of course that does not mean your wife is simply an object or a thing. We might even use the phrase respectful consideration. Here giving honor probably means making a special place or to assign a place of honor. Many years ago Gary Smalley and John Trent wrote a book entitled The Gift of Honor. In ancient writings, something of honor was something of substance (literally heavy), valuable, costly, even priceless. For Homer, the Greek scholar, The greater the cost of the gift, the more the honor... Not only does it signify something or someone who is a priceless treasure, but it is also used for someone who occupies a highly respected position in our lives, someone high on our priority list. In a real sense Christian husbands are to put their wives on the top of that human priority list. It begins in the heart...it continues in the schedule and ends when life ends. When Peter uses the term weaker vessel it is not to elicit a gender debate. The word Peter uses for weaker is asthenestero The word translated vessel is skeuos and means the container; but does not refer to something that is morally or spiritually or intellectually weaker. It means by and large the presence of physical size and strength. Not everyman is stronger than everywoman. Some women take strong objection to the idea that women are frail or weak or inherently different. But women are different by design. Women may welcome the difference, debate the difference, or demand that there be no difference; but men are to obey God first. A lady in our church told me the story of a man who was riding a bus which was full. A woman came on board and the man politely offered her his seat. The woman a member of the local chapter of women s liberation demanded to know if the reason why he offered his seat was that she was a woman. His reply--my offer was given not because you are a lady but rather because I am a gentleman. Does honor include protection? I think so. Does honor include provision? I think so. Does honor include taking a spiritual leadership role in the home? I think so. The husband s duty is to both honor and love his wife. 3

4 Proverbs 5:18 (NKJV) Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. Ephesians 5:25 (NKJV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,...and as being heirs together of the grace of life Peter moves from the subject of companionship to consideration to cooperation. The Husband and Wife are partners together in the grace of life. The Husband and wife have something more than marriage vows or children or grandchildren. They have Christ. They are both partakers of a new nature and common destiny--eternal life. Peter reminds husbands that in God s eyes men and women are joint heirs; equal partners in spiritual life; in a common salvation. The husband is not more saved than his wife; spiritual gifts and callings are given by God through the power of the Holy Spirit. God has no gender favorites; spiritual rights, spiritual privileges spiritual callings are given by God. You may miss the point--so I will spell it out for you; husbands are to honor their wives as spiritual equals. Husbands are not given permission to be abusive tyrants dominating or enslaving their wives; but rather we are servants to see needs and meet needs and wants and desires. We are to be loving, gentle, kind and considerate. Romans 8:15-17 (NKJV) 15For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, Abba, Father. 16The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,17and if children, then heirs; heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. Titus 3:7 (NKJV) that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The Christian Husband Prays With His Wife (v.7d)...that your prayers may not be hindered Husband are to be careful The word translated hindered is enkopto. It was used to describe a blockade or breaking up a road to prevent passage on that road. It was also used to describe detaining someone unnecessarily; and in ancient Rome the famous orator Tertullus in the sense of being tedious. 4

5 Paul used the word in writing to the Romans to explain why he had not visited them (Rom. 15:22). In the same way Paul wrote that Satan hindered (enkopto) on more than one occasion to prevent a return to visit to Thessaloniki (1 Thess. 2:18). What happens when a husband fails to honor his wife; or neglects his wife? Prayers are hindered. The Holy Spirit is grieved. Satan seizes the opportunity to establish a spiritual blockade. Prayers are effectively obstructed. Ephesians 6:12 (NKJV) 12For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. God is under no obligation to honor or answer the prayers of any husband who dishonors his wife; no matter who he is or how much he professes to know Jesus and love Jesus and serve Jesus. How can the Lord hear your cries over the sighs of your wife? A living relationship with God depends on right relationships with others. Jesus said that if you have a problem with a fellow believer, you must make it right with that person before coming to worship (Matthew 5:23-24). This principle carries over into family relationships. If men use their position to mistreat their wives, their relationship with God will suffer. A man should not expect to have a vital ministry in life or prayer if he is mistreating his wife in any way (Life Application Commentary 1&2 Peter and Jude; p.87). The Lord will hear the sighs and cries of a broken and a contrite heart; these he will not despise. But God does not respond to arrogance and selfishness and foolishness. Both husband and wife must love one another, respect one another and live in light of God s holy instructions; fulfilling our mutual duties and obligations; if we wish answers to our prayers. Conclusion When Henry and Mrs. Henry Ford celebrated their golden anniversary a reporter asked them; To what do you attribute your fifty years of successful married life? The formula said Ford, is the same formula I have always used in making cars--just stick to one model. 5