West Side is a welcoming church, rooted deeply in Christ, inviting all to connect, grow and serve.

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1 Weekly Newsletter November 12, 2017 West Side is a welcoming church, rooted deeply in Christ, inviting all to connect, grow and serve. A STORY WORTH TELLING Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you. These four simple statements carry enormous power to mend relationships and resolve interpersonal difficulties...when your words can have the most impact. Today, during our semiannual Healing and Wholeness Service, we will continue to explore The Four Things That Matter Most by Ira Byock, M.D., a leading palliative care physician and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. In her sermon, Pastor Penny will invite us into a sacred silence as we ponder the statement Please forgive me. Worship will include time for silent reflection and personal prayer, followed by an invitation to receive a blessing and anointing. After the 10:00 am service, head down to DePhillips Hall, where West Side s own Dr. Joseph Barbuto and the Rev. Kaylin Milazzo will offer strategies for having these healing conversations with loved ones. Please forgive me can be a tough thing to say because it involves a certain amount of humility and giving up the power of your anger and resentment, said Rev. Milazzo, palliative care chaplain at NYU Langone Medical Center. But it s important because we see feuds that go on from generation to generation in some families. So you re asking forgiveness not only for yourself, but also for your children and your legacy. In his private practice, Joe Barbuto, M.D., clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College and a consultant at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, often helps clients who are at the end of life resolve issues with people in their lives. But he would love to see those issues resolved before a bad diagnosis is received. [The four statements] are universal tenets for people to live by, he said. That s the big message in Ira Byock s book. To illustrate his point, Dr. Barbuto shared a story about his 95-year-old mother. She has been an anxious woman all her life. My father died when I was 10, and she raised me and my three younger sisters, he recalled. I used to be resentful of her anxiety, but lately whenever I talk to her, I end every conversation with I love you. And it s been beneficial to both of us.

2 Sunday Worship at West Side We hope that one or more of these services will inspire you on your spiritual journey. Chapel Worship in the Pulsifer Chapel begins at 8:45 am. Floor-to-ceiling windows flood the space with light, and there is a palpable energy here, sending participants out into the world with renewed faith and hope. Traditional Worship in the Sanctuary begins at 10:00 am, where stained glass, full choir, pipe organ and a traditional Presbyterian liturgy help us connect with God and the world. Foundation Contemporary Worship on the lower level in DePhillips Hall begins at 5:15 pm and is offered for those seeking an informal, family-oriented worship experience featuring a full band, contemporary Christian music and an interactive liturgy. Worship Attendance Last Sunday: 8:45 am: 25; 10:00 am: 354; 5:15 pm: 46. TOTAL: 425 December at a Glance December 2 New this year: Christmas Caroling at Van Neste Square (see page 4) December 2 Capital Ringers Handbell Concert (see page 8) December 2 & 3 8th Annual Holiday Marketplace (see page 4) December 24 Four uniquely different services: 10:00 am: Pop-Up Christmas Pageant, ideal for families with young children 4:00 pm: Traditional Lessons and Carols, with a special chapel service for children 6:30 pm: Foundation Contemporary Worship 10:00 pm: Traditional Candlelight Service 2

3 GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS Thank You! A heartfelt thank you to everyone who contributed to the 2018 Stewardship Campaign on Commitment Sunday. It was wonderful to see so many people bringing their pledges and prayers for West Side forward at the end of all three services. To date, we have received 204 pledges for next year totaling $829,940. It s a terrific start, however, last year we received 276 pledges totaling $1,077,317. Our goal is for the entire congregation to be all in so that we can go all out for mission and ministry. Will you join us? Remember, every pledge matters. Every pledge counts. Pledge cards can be found in the pews and placed in the offering plate, or you can pledge online at westside.org/pledge. Thank you so much for your support of West Side! Larry Steenvoorden, Chair of Stewardship Healing and Wholeness Service TODAY Our semiannual Healing and Wholeness Service takes place today at 8:45 am, 10:00 am and 5:15 pm. Inspired by The Four Things that Matter Most preaching series, based on the book of the same name, Pastor Penny will invite us into a sacred silence as we ponder the statement Please forgive me. Worship will include time for silent reflection and personal prayer, followed by an invitation to receive a blessing and anointing. Join us as we open ourselves to the mystery of God s healing love. Haiti Meeting TODAY Our mission trip to Pwoje Espwa has been scheduled for March 11-17, 2018, with a maximum of 20 participants. If you are interested in being a part of this life-changing experience, or simply want to find out more about the trip, please attend an informational meeting TODAY at 11:30 am in the West Side Room. The cost will be approximately $1,300, and participants are responsible for their own expenses. If you have a special circumstance, please reach out to Pastor Marc or Chris Stout Dinner Served TODAY Join us for dinner in DePhillips Hall at 6:15 pm TODAY. Come to Foundation Contemporary Worship at 5:15 pm and stay for a meal, or stop by and grab a bite to eat before heading to your evening class. No RSVP necessary. Just show up! Want to Learn More About Oasis? Friends of Oasis is hosting an informational breakfast at The Brownstone at 9:00 am on Thursday, November 16. Find out about how this nonprofit organization is improving the lives of women and children in the Paterson area. RSVP by calling , ext

4 Stuck in Town for Thanksgiving? If you d like to share a turkey dinner with all the trimmings with your West Side family, please reach out to Jim Horton If there is enough interest, we ll have dinner together in DePhillips Hall. Come to the Congregational Meeting Don t head home after 10:00 am worship on November 26. Stick around for a half-hour congregational meeting in the sanctuary. We ll be electing officers for the coming year and hearing about our mission program and other opportunities to serve in Holiday Marketplace Set for December 2 & 3 Bring your shopping list to our 8th annual Holiday Marketplace! Jewelry, Christmas ornaments, pottery, wreaths and many more unique handmade items will be for sale on Saturday, December 2, from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and Sunday, December 3, from 8:30 am to 1:00 pm. A portion of the proceeds goes toward supporting spiritual-growth activities at West Side. To make the marketplace a success, we will need volunteers to help with setup, cleanup, greeting, chance to win sales and the bake sale. If you are interested in volunteering for a two-hour shift, or contributing baked goods, please contact Sharon Ruger First Annual Cider Sing West Siders will be singing Christmas Carols and handing out cups of hot apple cider at Van Neste Square in Ridgewood on Saturday, December 2 from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm. Will you lend your voice? No singing experience is necessary, and all ages are welcome. We will be singing and serving in 20-minute sessions 11:30 am, 11:55 am, 12:20 pm and 12:45 pm. You can sign up for a time slot by ing Carol Walton Join in the fun! We are Grateful During 2016 and 2017, we received bequests totaling more than $800,000 from the estates of Richard Aumiller, Violet Cherry, Barbara Eaton, John Flaker, Eleanor Gyory, Ethel Ham Palmer, Ida Rohrs and Barbara Schott. West Side has used these funds to support our mission partners, pay down our mortgage and rebuild our endowment fund. We are truly grateful...and blessed. 4

5 SPIRITUAL GROWTH TED Talks The popular TED Talks series continues on Sundays at 8:45 am in Room 107. No preparation is necessary. Each week, participants view a short talk and have a round table discussion expanding on the ideas presented. And each week is stand-alone, so come when you can and join in the lively discussion. For more information, please contact Jim Horton or Mark Babunovic Centering Prayer Centering Prayer is a form of Christian silent meditation that has been practiced for many years. It is a purposeful practice of emptying the self so that God can pour in. The class meets on Sundays at 9:25 am in the Serenity Room, ending at 9:50 am. Questions? Please contact Susan McBrayer or Tim Dunn Sermon Talk Back Has today s sermon prompted further reflection? Did questions come to the surface that you would like to talk about? If so, join the discussion about the lectionary readings and teaching of the day in the Pulsifer Chapel at 11:15 am today. All are welcome to attend at any time. Tuesdays with Marc Interested in being part of a compassionate and sincere group of people hungering to live life with wisdom and grace? Being more deeply rooted in Christ in your heart, work, home, church and community? Join Pastor Marc and this spirited and spiritual group on Tuesdays at 7:30 am in the Pulsifer Chapel to discuss Into the Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation by Martin Laird. Copies are available in the church office for $10 apiece. Questions? Please reach out to Pastor Marc FELLOWSHIP Third Thursday Guys, get ready for great food, conversation and fellowship on Thursday, November 16 at 7:30 pm at the home of Richard Chase. Interested in joining the fun? Please RSVP by November 13 to Carol Walton 5

6 Freedom Friday The guys have Third Thursday. Now the women of West Side have Freedom Friday! Join us for the official kickoff at Mollie Ledwith s home on December 8 from 7:00 to 9:00 pm. What to expect? Food and drink, laughter, good conversation...and stories to share on Monday. Please RSVP to Jennifer Padolina by December 4. CHILDREN S MINISTRY (aka West Side Kids) Sunday School Our new Sunday School Strategy for preschool through 7th grade called Orange combines the light of the church (yellow) with the heart of the family (red) to help lead children toward a lifelong faith in Christ (orange). This month s theme is gratitude, and this week s lesson is about adjusting your attitude (Matthew 20:1-15). Reminder: Your child will join you for the first part of worship through the children s message and then be dismissed to his/her classroom. Please pick up your children in the following rooms: Preschool-K: 315, K & 1st: 311, 2nd & 3rd: 306, 4th & 5th: 312, 6th & 7th: Serenity Room. For more information about Orange, please visit YOUTH MINISTRY High School BARN Youth leaders have lined up a bunch of great programs for the fall on Sundays at 6:30 pm: TODAY Theme: Love November Johnsonburg Retreat November 26 No BARN December 3 Theme: Peace High School Retreat at Johnsonburg November Many of us spend more time trying to be someone we re not rather than living into who God created us to be. High school youth will explore what filters might be standing in the way of living an unfiltered life at this weekend retreat. The $125 fee includes meals, transportation, lodging and camp activities. Parents: Check your for online registration instructions. Middle School Retreat at Johnsonburg December 1-3 This is a great opportunity for youth to take a break from the weekly grind, meet other kids, participate in camp activities and connect with God. The $125 fee includes meals, lodging, transportation and all activities. Parents: Check your for online registration instructions. 6

7 ASP Youth Mission Trip High school youth will once again serve the people of Jonesville, Va., through the Appalachia Service Project, a Christian ministry dedicated to repairing homes for low-income families in Central Appalachia, where nearly 40 percent of the children live below the poverty line. The trip dates are June 30-July 7, The cost of the trip is $450, and a nonrefundable $150 deposit is due by December 15. Watch your mailbox for a flyer! Montreat Youth Conference Join 1,000 other teenagers for a fun, transformative and memorable week in the Montreat mountains. We will share a house and have meals together when we are not in small groups or in the auditorium for keynote and worship. Deepen your West Side friendships and make new friends too! The trip dates are July 14-21, The cost of the trip is $450, and a nonrefundable $150 deposit is due by December 31. Watch your mailbox for a flyer! Space is limited, so be sure to register early. MISSION Fill a Bag with Love As we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving with family and friends, let s help those who are less fortunate have a wonderful holiday meal too. Thanksgiving food collections will take place at West Side TODAY and November 19. Once again, the Family Life Committee has created a scavenger hunt game (located in the Narthex) to help make shopping for grocery donations a fun, family-friendly activity. The Bag of Love donations will be distributed to the Riverside Terrace residences in Paterson and the Center for Food Action in Mahwah. If you would like to help with delivery, please contact Carol Walton Prison Ministry Every year, West Siders travel to the Drug Rehabilitation Center at the Bergen County Jail to share a Thanksgiving meal with the men and women. Participants are asked to contribute baked goods and a two-liter bottle of soda, and meet in the church parking lot at 4:00 pm for a 4:30 pm departure. Thanksgiving will be celebrated on November 18 this year. If you are interested in helping with the women s dinner, please contact Karen Sonderburg by November 14. If you are interested in helping with the men s dinner, please contact Beverly Cassidy by November 14. 7

8 Family Promise Once again, we are partnering with Family Promise of Bergen County to host homeless working families for a week-long stay in the Barn (December 10 to 17), providing a safe, comfortable place to sleep and spend time, three meals a day, companionship and support. Can you help these struggling families by supplying grab-and-go breakfast items (two volunteers needed), cooking an evening meal (December 10 and 16) or staying overnight (December 10 and December 15)? To volunteer, please reach out to Laura Given RAFT Education Fund RAFT (Refugee Assistance for Families Team) is raising money for an education fund for the children of the first family we settled in The family includes the mother, a 23-year-old daughter, a 19-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son; their father, who was a math teacher, died of cancer 10 months before they left Syria. Would you like to support this family s education fund? Checks can be made out to the church, with RAFT in the memo line, and given to Abby Gary or Donna Dykstra. MUSIC AND THE ARTS Capital Ringers Capital Ringers, an English handbell ensemble, will help us ring in the holidays on Saturday, December 2 at 3:00 pm as part of the West Side Concert Series. (Suggestion: Come to the Holiday Marketplace and stay for the concert.) Their family-friendly seasonal lineup will include favorites such as It s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Oh Hanukkah, You re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, Sing We Now of Christmas and Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. Mr. Grinch might even make an appearance! A free-will offering will be received. The Gallery at West Side Since childhood, two passions have engaged Elly Wane, our artist for the month of November gardening and drawing. After retiring from teaching, she began taking lessons in watercolors and developing her skills in various workshops and classes, learning new techniques and experimenting with different mediums. Elly s subject matter is as close as the kitchen, the garden, the basement or the garage. Her paintings can be playful, whimsical abstracts of common objects or tools as well as carefully observed, accurate, realistic 8

9 creations. Elly s images pop off the canvas, allowing the viewer to see details seldom observed by casual glances. This show represents her work in watercolor, graphite, colored pencil, collage, pen and ink, and traditional egg tempera. She calls it Garden Variety, but her work is anything but ordinary. Be sure to visit The Gallery any time the church is open; 25 percent of sales is donated to West Side. Choirs for Singers and Ringers Mark your calendars, and join us as we sing (and ring) to the glory of God. For more information about the West Side choirs, please contact Deborah Holden-Holloway or Deidre DiMauro Cantate Choir, boys and girls, K-Grade 1: Wednesdays, 4:00-4:45 pm Carol Choir, boys and girls, Grades 2-3: Wednesdays, 4:00-5:00 pm Westminster Bells, young adults and adults: Wednesdays, 7:00-8:15 pm Chapel Choir, girls, Grades 4-5: Thursdays, 4:00-5:15 pm Covenant Choir, girls, Grades 6-8: Thursdays, 4:00-5:15 pm John Knox Choir, boys, Grades 4-8: Thursdays, 4:00-5:15 pm Children s Bell Choir, Grades 4-8: Thursdays, 5:15-5:45 pm Senior High Choir, Grades 9-12: Tuesdays, 7:00-8:00 pm Calvin Bell Choir, senior high: Tuesdays, 8:00-9:00 pm Chancel Choir, adults: Thursdays, 8:00-10:15 pm Oratorio Choir, adults: Thursdays, 9:00-10:15 pm HEALTH MINISTRY Conversations About Mortality Our Conversations About Mortality series, co-sponsored by The Valley Hospital and Ridgewood Interfaith Clergy Council, continues this fall with a special evening with Ira Byock, M.D., a leading palliative care physician, author and public advocate for improving care through the end of life. Join us in DePhillips Hall on Thursday, November 30 at 7:00 pm for a presentation about his book The Four Things that Matter Most: A Book About Living. To register for this free event, please call Valley-1 or go to Leading up to Dr. Byock s presentation, West Side is sponsoring lunch and learn discussions on Sundays at 11:30 am. Mark your calendar...and RSVP to Pat McGlade ( , ext. 104 or continued on next page 9

10 TODAY: Joseph Barbuto, MD, and Rev. Kaylin Milazzo will talk about their professional experiences and offer strategies for having these conversations with loved ones. November 19: Genevieve Lowry, M.Ed, and Nancy Dykstra-Powers, LCSW, will discuss coping with the loss of a child and talking with children about loss. THIS WEEK AT WEST SIDE Sunday, November 12 8:30 am Little Lambs Child Care - Rooms 202 and 204 8:45 am Chapel Worship - Pulsifer Chapel 8:45 am TED Talks - Room 107 9:15 am Choir Warm Up - Sanctuary 10:00 am Worship - Sanctuary 10:00 am Sunday School - Pulsifer Chapel, Rooms 306, 311, 312, 315 and Serenity Room 11:15 am Prayer Circle - Pastor Marc s Office 11:15 am Sermon Talk Back - Pulsifer Chapel 11:15 am Coffee Hour - Narthex 11:15 am Conversations About Mortality Lunch and Learn - DePhillips Hall 11:30 am Haiti Informational Meeting - West Side Room 3:30 pm Foundation Warm Up - DePhillips Hall 5:15 pm Foundation Worship - DePhillips Hall 6:15 pm Foundation Dinner - DePhillips Hall 6:30 pm High School BARN - Barn 6:30 pm FOCUS - Pulsifer Chapel, Library 6:45 pm Men s Council - Serenity Room, West Side Room, Pastor Marc s Office and Small Choir Room 7:30 pm High School BARN Hangout - Barn Monday, November 13 9:30 am Bridge Table - DePhillips Hall 10:30 am Robert Nilson Graveside Service - Valleau Cemetery 1:00 pm Bridge Table - DePhillips Hall 7:30 pm Session Meeting - DePhillips Hall Tuesday, November 14 7:30 am Tuesdays with Marc - Pulsifer Chapel 10:00 am ESL - West Side Room 10:00 am Feisty Ladies - Library 10

11 12:15 pm Safe on Your Feet - DePhillips Hall 1:00 pm ESL Reading Group - West Side Room 4:00 pm Presbytery Meeting - DePhillips Hall 7:00 pm Senior High Choir Rehearsal - Large and Small Choir Rooms 8:00 pm Calvin Bell Choir Rehearsal - Bell Room Wednesday, November 15 11:30 am Lunch Bunch - Library 4:00 pm Cantate Choir Rehearsal - Small Choir Room 4:00 pm Carol Choir Rehearsal - Large Choir Room 7:00 pm Westminster Bells Rehearsal - Bell Room 7:30 pm Mission and Social Concerns Meeting - Library Thursday, November 16 12:15 pm Safe on Your Feet - DePhillips Hall 1:15 pm Bridge Table - DePhillips Hall 4:00 pm Boys, Chapel and Covenant Choir Rehearsals - Large and Small Choir Rooms 5:15 pm Children s Bell Choir Rehearsal - Bell Room 7:30 pm Third Thursday - Richard Chase s Home 8:00 pm Chancel Choir Rehearsal - Large and Small Choir Rooms 9:00 pm Oratorio Choir Rehearsal - Large and Small Choir Rooms Friday, November 17 10:00 am Eva s Kitchen - Meet in West Side Parking Lot 10:00 am Group Spiritual Direction - Mollie Ledwith s Home 1:00 pm ESL Bible Study - West Side Room 5:30 pm High School Retreat - Meet in Parking Lot 7:30 pm Narcotics Anonymous - DePhillips Hall 8:00 pm Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra - Sanctuary Saturday, November 18 4:00 pm Bergen County Jail Ministry - Meet in West Side Parking Lot 7:00 pm Alcoholics Anonymous - DePhillips Hall 11

12 West Side Presbyterian Church Varian Fry Way, 6 South Monroe Street, Ridgewood, NJ (201) Ordained Staff Staff Directory Office Staff 12 The Reverend Marc Oehler Pastor and Head of Staff, ext. 101 The Reverend Penny Hogan Associate Pastor, ext. 102 The Reverend Liz Junod Pastoral Associate (part-time), ext. 103 Program Staff Deborah Holden-Holloway Minister of Music, ext. 105 Erik Eickhoff Associate Minister of Music Eric Hufschmid Worship and Music Leader Foundation Worship Pat McGlade Faith Community Nurse, ext. 104 Christine Sinhye Park Princeton Theological Seminary Intern Carol Bialkowski Director of Communications, ext. 112 Carolyn Conetta Financial Manager, ext. 109 Greta Croucher Receptionist, ext. 100 Deidre DiMauro Administrative Assistant, ext. 108 Stacey Macario Receptionist, ext. 100 Carol Walton Coordinator for Ministry, ext. 106 Building and Grounds Staff Gib Warren Clive Stewart Ruben Rosario Jessie Edwards West Side Nursery School Melissa Bangash Executive Director, ext. 207 Cindy Hardt Administrative Assistant, ext. 205

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