You are being seated at a restaurant on a busy night. At your table your waitress says, What

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1 INTENTIONAL #2 INTENTIONAL: About our (ministry s) Family Values Pastor David Staff If you ve seen it once, you ve seen it at least a dozen times. You are being seated at a restaurant on a busy night. At your table your waitress says, What can I get you to drink? (and you say, Ice water would be great! like you always say). You begin surveying the menu, but you also notice the family just a table or two away. And the reason you notice the family of 5 is because they all the dad, the mom, and each of the 3 kids each have a smart phone. And, each one is glued to it. Dad is on the ESPN app, checking scores or what the buzz is about the latest NBA or NFL trade. No doubt someone is arguing with someone else about who go the best deal. Mom is on Facebook, liking this or that, posting a picture, catching up with her circle. Just this week, she s added 10 new friends and a friend her husband doesn t know about. Little Jamie is watching a video on the ipad, something to keep her occupied. Dylan is reconstructing the world via Minecraft and does not want to be disturbed. And teenage Samantha, or Sam as her friends call her, is frantically texting her buds back in her old home town. She s still hacked off at her dad for taking the new job and moving her away before she completed high school with her friends. What was he thinking? Didn t he know he was absolutely destroying my life? Out of the corner of your eye, you watch without trying to be obvious. Not a word is exchanged between all 5 until the food arrives, and even then, for a few minutes, a plate of food simply replaces the screen. Actually, each one lays down the phone or pad next to the plate, and manages both. As each one finishes, the plate is removed and the screen takes over again. Finally, even as your food arrives, they finish, stand and walk out still fiddling with their phones. And you ask yourself: How could they do that? What kind of family does that? And then you realize you ve seen this before. The answer to your questions is found in what we might call family values. This family s values run something like this: My phone is more important than my family. My video, my interests, 1 P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2

2 my game, my friends is more important than talking and sharing and investing in the relationship I have with my family. My phone is more valuable than you. May I ask you, What are your family s values? What do you mean? you ask. I mean what important ideas or conclusions (be they good or bad ) govern the way your family lives together, acts together, treats each other. What principles played out in your everyday living express what your family is all about? Here s todays question: What are this family s (CCC) values? The Lord has given us 4-2 P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2 #1 TRANSPARENT relationships this family s culture is one of humility, acceptance, and grace. In 2005, John Burke authored a book after 15 years of doing church and thinking. It s title NO PERFECT PEOPLE ALLOWED. Led by the Spirit to start a church (Austin TX), this title became their motto. He tells about Lana and Brad, who started coming to Gateway Church and joined a group, only to become sporadic. Soon, Lana came alone, admitting, Brad is using again. Lana herself openly wondered if she should also try Eastern religions for better answers, but wondered if she would be judged for being too open. As Burke got to know those coming through the doors, he discovered that most young couples were living together unmarried. Many weren t sure yet if Christianity is all that correct. Some were politically very left, others very right. And the conservatives at Gateway began to be very uncomfortable with all these not-yet-committed seekers hanging around. Burke realized that the church in America is the church in 1 st century Corinth. Don t get me wrong (he writes). I am not advocating throwing in the moral towel. But why expect a secular society to act like a Christian one? First things first, and according to Jesus, loving God comes first followed closely by loving people. But it takes a new kind of Christian to live and minister in the mess of Corinth. And that is precisely where we now live. Much like the church in the pagan, pluralistic, and promiscuous city of Corinth, the 21 st Century church will be messy if it is going to be effective. i Chuck Swindoll once discovered that a bunch of kids settled on three rules for anyone who would come up into the treehouse they d built in the back yard. Rule #1 Nobody act big. Rule #2

3 Nobody act small. Rule #3 Everybody act medium. So what are our transparent relationships tree house rules? 1st Nobody JUDGE anyone Jesus (Matthew 7:1) JESUS: Judge not, that you be not judged What did He mean? He certainly did not mean that no one should ever make an evaluation of himself or anyone else. Justice in society requires holding people accountable for their actions. So what did Jesus mean? Haddon Robinson is surely correct when he writes, Matthew 7:1 is an elaboration of the 5 th petition of the Lord s prayer. FORGIVE US OUR SINS, as WE HAVE FORGIVEN THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US. What Jesus meant by judging, therefore, is the opposite of forgiving. To JUDGE people is to condemn people rather than forgive them. Jesus followers must not have a spirit of condemnation toward other people, or a spirit of harsh criticism, a spirit that puts them down. ii Nobody JUDGE anyone. 2 nd Nobody REJECT anyone. After washing their dirty feet, the Lord Jesus Christ looked at his men in the eye and said it 5 times in the Upper Room coaching talk. LOVE ONE ANOTHER Paul urged the Christians in Rome (Romans 12:10a) Love one another with brotherly affection. The one another passages ring like chimes throughout all the NT books. NOBODY JUDGE NOBODY REJECT 3 rd EVERYBODY show HONOR to everyone. Romans 12:10b Outdo one another in showing honor. Philippians 2:3 In humility count others more significant than yourselves. TRANSPARENT relationships humility, acceptance, grace. It s what makes us who we are. #2 Intergenerational DISCIPLESHIP this family s culture invests in Each other s lives across multiple generations From your daily reading of your Bibles, you know that there are a variety of ways the Holy Spirit describes the church the disciples who together know and walk with Jesus Christ by faith. BODY of the Lord Jesus Christ, He himself (and alone) being our Head FLOCK of the Lord Jesus Christ, He himself being our Chief Shepherd BUILDING of God on the foundation of Jesus apostle, the Lord Jesus Christ himself being the chief cornerstone The BRIDE of Christ, the Lord Jesus Christ himself being our nurturing husband A TEAM OF LABORERS in God s field TEMPLE of the Holy Spirit, in which the Spirit of God dwells PRIESTHOOD of believers, offering up sacrifices of praise HOLY NATION of those born of God The LIGHT of the world, a CITY situated on an elevated mountain for all to see All of those descriptions are helpful ways to understand who we are. But we are also described as an 3 P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2

4 extended, born-of-god family, not of separate generations, but of intertwined generations. It takes a family to raise on-the-balls-of-your-feet followers of Christ who are transparent in their relationships and purposeful in their responsiveness to God. Each generation needs the strengths and joys and contributions of the other. No doubt the Apostle John had this in mind when he wrote this to Jesus church. 4 P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2 1 John 2:12 I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name's sake. 13 I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, children, because you know the Father. 14 I write to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one. How fascinating! little children disciples are newer Christians, just delighting in the fact that they know God is their Father, a loving holy Father who has wonderfully and fully forgiven their sins because of all that Jesus name represents young men disciples are purposefully growing Christians who have fallen in love with the Word of God and are defeating the Evil One through faith and obedience father -type disciples are women and men who have come to deeply know God over a long run. They know that God is rock-solid and faithful, and their long relationship with God gives the church rooted godliness. All three in God s family; all three in and around each other; all three needing each other. Which is why the Fuller Youth Institute, in research following 500 HS Seniors who took off for college, found that 50% ditched their faith shortly after matriculating at university except! Except those who had had, during their MS and HS years, an older mentor, and intergenerational connection. Far more likely to hold on to their faith and thrive in their faith. Danny Beckett put it like this: When I decided to follow Jesus 10 years ago, two of the very first relationships I developed in a church context were a couple named George and Norma Bates. They were soft-spoken, humble, caring, and, very, very old. I can confidently say that I am who I am today as a follower of Jesus because of George and Norma Bates. #3 PURPOSEFUL responsiveness - this family s culture seeks and seizes the opportunities God provides each day What does that mean? you ask. To seek and seize the opportunities God provides each day?

5 This is a value that says, You know what? We want God to make every day count! Every day, I want to begin the day anticipating that God is going to create in my waking hours an opportunity to PRAY for someone who needs to come closer to Christ, to CARE for someone who needs to experience the love of Christ, and/or to SHARE with someone who may not be clear on how to believe in Jesus and come into God s family. Pastor Brent has given us the purposeful responsiveness mantra: prayer (1 st ) then care (2 nd ) and share (3 rd ). Few people explain it better than Bill Hybels (Just Walk Across the Room, p.37): On the day of my conversion more than 3 decades ago, I was filled with an overwhelming hunger to share God s redemptive story with people who have never heard it. Unfortunately, I was committed to do so without the accompanying direction and power of the Holy Spirit. These days, I try to wake up each morning declaring, My life is your hands, God. Use me to point someone toward you today I promise to cooperate in any way I can. If you want me to say a word for you today, I ll do that. If you want me to keep quiet but demonstrate love and servanthood, by your Spirit s power I will. I m fully available to you today, so guide me by your Spirit. The key is this: my objective is not to contrive ways to get someone saved; rather, my objective is to walk when he prompts me to walk, talk when he says to talk, fall silent when I m at risk of saying too much, and stay put when he leads me to stay put. If I can lay my head on the pillow at night knowing that I have cooperated with the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I sleep like a baby. Transparent relationships, intergenerational discipleship, purposeful responsiveness and 5 P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2 #4 RADICAL generosity this family s culture willingly lives adventurously to impact our world After he graduated from Dallas Seminary, Bruce Wilkinson would go on to found the WALK THROUGH THE BIBLE ministry, having been mentored by Howard Hendricks. In his small book A Life God Rewards, Wilkinson remembers this encounter. I was taking a coffee break during a family conference in Kentucky when Will walked up and stood beside my chair. He was about 9 years old. He asked if I wanted to donate to a missions project. What will the money be used for? I asked. Will held out a radio. This radio runs by solar power, he said proudly. It s for people who live in the jungles. People can listen to this radio to learn things and hear about Jesus. I decided on the spot to make Will an offer. Tell you what, I said, I ll give to your project, but I have a rule that says you have to give money first. On one of his donation cards, I wrote out my proposal: Will, If you give one to five dollars, I ll give double what you give If you give six to ten dollars,

6 I ll give triple what you give If you give eleven to twenty dollars I ll give four times what you give. I signed my name, and Will read the card. By the time he was finished, his eyes were as big as saucers. Then suddenly his face fell and he stared at the floor. Don t you like my idea? I asked Yeah, he said, shuffling his feet. Well, what are you going to do? Nothing. Nothing? I can t, he said, I already gave everything I had. I felt a pang in my heart. You mean you put all your money into your own fund drive? I asked. He nodded. So you can t buy any more snacks for the rest of the conference? He nodded again. At that moment, I knew what I needed to do. Actually, Will, I began, I also have a rule that if you have given everything you have, I will give everything I have too. As it happened, I d just been to the bank to withdraw a considerable amount of cash for my trip. I reached under the table for my briefcase, pulled out a bank envelope of bills, and handed it to Will. Now both of our eyes were big as saucers. My experience with Will has come to illustrate a truth for me about giving that s so surprising it hardly sounds possible: Whatever I give to God on earth He will more than give back to me in Heaven. iii Check it out Matthew 19:29. CONCLUSION The family values of Christ Community Church the principles who express who we are, what we value, how we follow Jesus and do discipleship, how we each day look to connect people to lifedefining relationships in Christ: TRANSPERANT RELATIONSHIPS humility, acceptance, grace INTERGENERATIONAL DISCIPLESHIP children/young men/fathers PURPOSEFUL RESPONSIVENESS seeking/seizing opportunities To pray, to care, to share RADICAL GENEROSITY living/giving adventurously What a family! of RELATIONSHIPS, initiated/fueled by LOVE which CHANGE PEOPLE for ETERNITY. Copyright 2017 David A. Staff All rights reserved i John Burke, No Perfect People Allowed (Zondervan, 2005), ii Haddon W. Robinson, What Jesus Said about Successful Living (Discovery House, 1991), 238. iii Bruce Wilkinson with David Kopp, A Life God Rewards: Why Everything You Do Today Matters Forever (Multnomah/Exponential Inc., 2002), P a g e of INTENTIONAL #2