FAMILY MATTERS. E-Newsletter of the Family Life Office, Archdiocese of Dubuque 1229 Mount Loretta, Dubuque IA IMPACT: Adult Faith Formation

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1 FAMILY MATTERS E-Newsletter of the Family Life Office, Archdiocese of Dubuque 1229 Mount Loretta, Dubuque IA May/June 2013 This symbol will indicate resources for a comprehensive plan of care for families. Feature Articles: Page 1 IMPACT Page 1 Speaking Kindly Page 2 Help for Hurting Couples Page 2 Happiness Video Programs 3 Prayers 4 Resources 5 Upcoming Events 6 Family Life Info 6 IMPACT: Adult Faith Formation IMPACT is the next step in the evolution of lay formation in the Archdiocese of Dubuque. IMPACT is a two-year program of the Archdiocese of Dubuque, in collaboration with Loras College. We believe our participants will receive the best possible faith formation through this valuable partnership said Mary Pedersen, Director. IMPACT is open to any adult who desires a deeper relationship with Christ and a greater understanding of the Catholic faith to IMPACT his or her parish and community. Negatively Speaking IMPACT starts this September; the deadline to submit your application is May 31 st. Check the website for IMPACT information, application, and brochure: For those who are discerning, information sessions will be held in April. Dates and locations can be found on the website. Would anyone from your parish benefit from IMPACT? Your invitation may make the difference! A well-known research study by Dr. John Gottman (click this link for more information) found it takes at least five positive interactions to make up for just one negative interaction. In other words, a negative tude is five times more powerful than a positive one. Talk about negative bias at work! How often do we dwell on negative comments, stories, and events? More often than we care to admit? But we re not alone. Psychology tells us that we are wired to do so, that the brain remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail. How s that for a good reminder of the necessity of actively engaging in more acts of kindness with and for one another? There is a lot of noise in our world. We often need some quiet to hear the voice of God. Many things can crowd out that quiet that lets God be heard. Create some quiet times for yourself, then challenge your family.

Help for Hurting Couples Family Matters / Page 2 of 6 Often when we're sad or troubled in life, we feel deserted and alone.

Listed are various programs, websites, and resources that can be offered to support and encourage you as you face challenging times as a couple.

org Workshops & resources to aid families at www.susanvogt.

2 Help for Hurting Couples Family Matters / Page 2 of 6 Often when we're sad or troubled in life, we feel deserted and alone. Take heart: encouragement and comfort are available within the Christian community of faith. Listed are various programs, websites, and resources that can be offered to support and encourage you as you face challenging times as a couple. Marriage Help The Third Option, a support group program offered through the Family Life Office Marriage articles and helpful information at Workshops & resources to aid families at Divorce Help Catholic Divorce Survival Guide program (see page 3) Journey of Hope, 17 week course addressing issues of divorce, go to for more information Website for divorced Catholics at Catholic Divorce Ministry at Divorce & Beyond, 10 week support group, training available through the Family Life Office Book: Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends (available at the Resource Media Center) Book: R.A.D.I.C.A.L. Recovery, by Suzy Brown Counseling Services Catholic Charities counseling (call us for local phone numbers) Telecounseling services at counseling@exceptionalmarriages.com Keep this list available for those in need - or consider starting one of these ministries in your parish/cluster/deanery. It is by no means all that is available. If you know of other resources, please contact our office so that we may continue to compile a list for those who contact us seeking direction. Prescription for Happiness Video Some days, you need to remind yourself about what's truly important in life. So sit back with a cup of your favorite beverage and give yourself a few minutes to savor this sweet video, which gives you a prescription for happiness in two minutes, starting with "show up." You can watch this 2½ minute video at:

Family Matters / Page 3 of 6 What is the Marriage Course? A seven session course set in a fantastic atmosphere.

There is never any group work and you will never be asked to share anything about your relationship with anyone other than your partner. For more information go to: http://www.relationshipcentral.

We re separated now what? Why does it take so long to heal? Where can I go for help? Why did God allow this divorce? I don t trust the Church How do I help my children? What will happen in court?

3 Family Matters / Page 3 of 6 What is the Marriage Course? A seven session course set in a fantastic atmosphere. You will be served with a candlelit meal and/or coffee, tea and dessert at a romantic table for two while listening to practical talks that are informative and fun, either given live or played on DVD. There is never any group work and you will never be asked to share anything about your relationship with anyone other than your partner. For more information go to: Helping You Find Peace After Divorce Common Questions Why do I hurt so much? What can I do to feel better? I have so much guilt; what can I do? What can I do with this anger? We re separated now what? Why does it take so long to heal? Where can I go for help? Why did God allow this divorce? I don t trust the Church How do I help my children? What will happen in court? How do I deal with this fear? Can I still receive Communion? How do I handle my ex? What about child support? The Catholic's DIVORCE SURVIVAL parish program presents the Church's loving wisdom to guide you--or maybe someone you know--past the pain. For true healing, we have the Sacraments where you'll encounter Christ with all His love and mercy--in a deeply personal way. And that's the REALLY good news. The Catholic s Divorce Survival Guide is a twelve part program that brings healing and hope to divorced and separated Catholics. With the help of expert counselors, theologians, and priests, author and presenter Rose Sweet guides participants from pain and loneliness to hope and healing. Practical advice meets spiritual growth through the Sacraments, the teachings of the Church (including the Theology of the Body), and wisdom from experts and others who have suffered through divorce. As divorced and separated Catholics experience this pastoral program, their lives are rejuvenated, their hope is restored and their faith in Christ and his Church is renewed. For more information go to: Who has ever seen an idea? Who has ever seen love? Who has ever seen faith? The real things are invisible. Is it difficult then, to believe in God?

Family Matters / Page 4 of 6 Heal the Wounds of Childhood Dear Child of Mine, I look back on the years of your growing up, and my eyes can see all the times and situations in which you were hurt,

Sometimes the very people you looked to for love and affection were the ones who wounded you most. But hear me now, my child. Though they have wounded you, I will never wound you.

I am constantly thinking of you, my child. You are always with me. I cannot forget you for one moment. See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.

4 Family Matters / Page 4 of 6 Heal the Wounds of Childhood Dear Child of Mine, I look back on the years of your growing up, and my eyes can see all the times and situations in which you were hurt, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I can hear the wounding words and see the harmful deeds, and I know the scars you carry in your personality because of them. Sometimes the very people you looked to for love and affection were the ones who wounded you most. But hear me now, my child. Though they have wounded you, I will never wound you. Though they have let you down, I will never let you down. Though their words and deeds have harmed you, I speak to you words of hope and healing. I reach out to you with justice and kindness and love. I am constantly thinking of you, my child. You are always with me. I cannot forget you for one moment. See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands. Come now and let me heal the wounds of your childhood. Your loving Abba, God Prayer for Parents Loving God, Teach us what to give and what to withhold. Show us when to reprove and when to praise. Make us to be gentle and considerate, yet firm and watchful. Keep us from weak indulgence, or from great severity. Give us the courage to be disliked sometimes by our children when we must do displeasing things that are necessary. Give us the imagination to enter their world in order to understand and to guide them. Give us all the virtues we need to lead them by word and example in the path of righteousness. Amen. Judge Not I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven s door, not by the beauty of it all, not the lights nor its décor. But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice. Herb, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine looking incredibly well. I nudged Jesus, What s the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How did all these sinners get up here? God must have made a mistake. And why is everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue. Hush child, said He They re all in shock. No one thought that they would see you.

Gaining Confidence Family Matters / Page 5 of 6 The angels love to visit Brother Jerome's monastery bakery, because it's the place that smells the most like heaven.

With the encouragement of his abbot and a little angelic assistance, he gains the self-confidence he needs to have a successful bakery.

Young readers will relate to Brother Jerome's anxieties about failure.

5 Gaining Confidence Family Matters / Page 5 of 6 The angels love to visit Brother Jerome's monastery bakery, because it's the place that smells the most like heaven. But when the abbot asks Brother Jerome to open his bakery to the public, the young monk doubts that he can get customers into the shop to try his breads. With the encouragement of his abbot and a little angelic assistance, he gains the self-confidence he needs to have a successful bakery. Brother Jerome and the Angels in the Bakery is a charming children's book from public television's popular baker monk, Father Dominic Garramone. Young readers will relate to Brother Jerome's anxieties about failure. This book has won the st Place Catholic Press Award, for Children s Books as well as winner of the 2011 Christopher Award Books for Young People. It s delightful story that teaches a wonderful lesson about prayer and indirectly, how God works through his messengers, the angels. Godparenting The perfect combination of gift book and guide, for every man or woman asked to take on this enormous and blessed responsibility. Lively and informative. Explains who is eligible to be a godparent and how to be a great one, offers a brief history of godparenting, reflects on how the whole parish remains involved, suggests prayers and blessings for you and your godchild, and concludes by answering four commonly asked questions, such as What if I disagree with how the parents are raising my godchild should I say something? and I am a sincere Protestant Christian believer. Why can t I be the godparent to the child of my best friends, who are Catholic? World Youth Day 2013 Music Video World Youth Day 2013 will be the 14th international World Youth Day, a major international Roman Catholic event, focused on faith and youth. The host city of World Youth Day 2013 will be Rio de Janeiro, in Brazil. The events are scheduled to be held from 23 July to 28 July Visit this site to view the theme song video The way to make marriage a success is to love more than you are loved.

Family Matters / Page 6 of 6 66 Family Life Office Archdiocese of Dubuque 1229 Mt. Loretta St. Dubuque IA 52003 563-556-2580 800-876-3546 Family Life Director: Linda Manternach DBQCFL@arch.pvt.k12.ia.

(No.2206) Catechism of the Catholic Church The office of Family Life offers support and training to parishes and individuals interested in this ministry.

6 Family Matters / Page 6 of 6 66 Family Life Office Archdiocese of Dubuque 1229 Mt. Loretta St. Dubuque IA Family Life Director: Linda Manternach DBQCFL@arch.pvt.k12.ia.us Secretary: Diane Konshak DBQCFLsec@arch.pvt.k12.ia.us The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members respect for one another. (No.2206) Catechism of the Catholic Church The office of Family Life offers support and training to parishes and individuals interested in this ministry. We invite you to volunteer for any of these ministries or to offer suggestions to our office. Upcoming Events May: 9 Ascension 12 Mother s Day 18 PreCana, Dubuque 19 Pentecost 26 Trinity Sunday 27 Memorial Day 30 Corpus Christi 31 Worldwide Marriage Encounter, Cedar Falls June: Engaged Encounter, Cedar Falls 16 Father s Day 22 PreCana, Cedar Rapids July: 4 Independence Day August: 15 The Assumption Happy Mother s Day, Father s Day! Advisory Committee Deacon Gary & Kay Aitchison Karen Bonfig Jennifer Clancy Michael Erikson Janice Loecke Katie Pfiffner Fr. Phil Schmitt Becky Shaffer Amy Shannon Eric Stromberg Diane Walston Please pray for the work of this committee. If you have ideas for outreach and/or ministry to families, please feel free to contact one of these people. We re on the Web! See us at: If you would like details about the programs highlighted in this newsletter, go to for our Family Life Programs and Services flyer.

Sermon for September 7, Pentecost Ezekiel 33:7-11; Psalm 119:33-40; Romans 13:6-14; Matthew 18:15-20 by Jim Neal

Sermon for September 7, Pentecost Ezekiel 33:7-11; Psalm 119:33-40; Romans 13:6-14; Matthew 18:15-20 by Jim Neal Sermon for September 7, 2014 13 Pentecost Ezekiel 33:7-11; Psalm 119:33-40; Romans 13:6-14; Matthew 18:15-20 by Jim Neal Opening prayer: Let us pray: Jesus, help me to open my heart and my mind to each