Extra. Extra Grace Required RECONCILIOLOGY GRACE REQUIRED. How to Approach Others. Our Recommendation. 6 Steps To A Healthy Apology

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1 Extra GRACE REQUIRED Extra Grace Required Second Mile Relationships PART 16 Mastering Apology How to Approach Others Go in Humility Be open to being wrong. I may be wrong. Go in Pre-Forgiveness Forgive before you go. I have already forgiven what happened. Go in Love Care more about the other person than you do yourself. I care more about you and our relationship than how you feel about me... Go in 100% Truth Speak 100% of the truth. I will bring all the truth and the facts. FSH Consulting LLC 2013 All Rights Reserved 2 Our Recommendation 6 Steps To A Healthy Apology 1. State the offense. 2. Admit you were wrong. 3. Apologize. 4. Ask if they can forgive you. 5. Ask for accountability. 6. Ask for anything else that may be there. FSH Consulting LLC 2013 All Rights Reserved 3 RECONCILIOLOGY The Study & Mastery of Anger, Forgiveness and Apology

2 If you are offering your gift at the altar and remember someone has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. MATTHEW 5:23-24 My reconciliation with God must always be translated into giving and seeking forgiveness with people. Not giving [or seeking forgiveness] is like drinking rat poison... then waiting for the rat to die. ANNE LAMOTT Authentic & Effective APOLOGY In our mind, it involves recognition of wrong. In our emotions, it involves godly sorrow. In our will, it means a change of direction.

3 Authentic & Effective APOLOGY springs from repentance. Repentance (metanoia): a change of course, literally a 180-degree re-direction of thinking, acting and feeling. Apology is authentic and effective when it is spoken in the indigenous language of the person with whom we are reconciling. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. EPHESIANS 4:29 1 When I apologize, I must express regret. I m sorry for Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret. 2 CORINTHIANS 7:10

4 2 When I apologize, I must accept responsibility. I was wrong! I have sinned against the Lord. 2 SAMUEL 12:13 3 When I apologize, I must offer restitution. What can I do to make it right? Zacchaeus said, Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount. Jesus said, Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. LUKE 19:8-9

5 So that the Gentiles may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in Christ.I preach that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds. ACTS 26:18, 20 4 When I apologize, I must request forgiveness. Will you please forgive me? When I respectfully request FORGIVENESS I demonstrate my commitment to restoration. I acknowledge the pain I have caused. I empower the offended with the future of the relationship. Making up with a friend you have offended is harder than breaking through a city wall. PROVERBS 18:19, CEV

6 RECONCILIOLOGY is God s gift to us for preventing and restoring broken relationships! My Covenant of Reconciliology I will not let any hurtful talk come from my lips, but only what helps to build others up according to their need. I will not grieve God s Holy Spirit, who has sealed me for the day of redemption, by holding onto bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander and any malicious intent. Rather, I will be kind and compassionate to others, forgiving them just as in Christ God forgave me. Extra GRACE REQUIRED Extra Grace Required Second Mile Relationships PART 16 Mastering Apology