Reconciling Relationships. The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring Eden United Church of Christ Hayward, California

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1 Reconciling Relationships The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring Eden United Church of Christ Hayward, California The Fourth Sunday in Lent March 31, 2019 Luke 15:11-31 (NRSV) For as long as I can remember, my mother and grandmother would periodically make comments like this: I sure hope you kids can get along with each other. Sometimes their comments were made when my sister and I were fighting usually over trivial things, and other times their comments seemed to come out of the blue. Now that I m 55 years old, I never wonder why Mom and Grandma made these sorts of comments. It was because they were far too familiar with stories that unfold like the Prodigal Son. Consider a modern day rendering of the text. II A vineyard owner in the Livermore Valley had two sons. The younger of the two was less than enamored with the family business, and was determined to pursue a different path than his father and older brother had chosen. One day the younger son shared this unwelcome news with his father. The conversation began with the son describing his vocational discernment process, and then with the son requesting an advance on his inheritance. The father was disappointed by his younger son s request, but agreed to fulfill it anyway, because he knew that the vineyard required a whole-hearted commitment and that if one did not possess such a commitment, the vineyard would fail and those who lived on the land would be miserable the rest of their lives. So despite the anguish and the significant financial stress that his younger son s request generated, the father liquidated half of his assets and handed the son his inheritance. The younger son quickly deposited the funds in a liquid money market account at the local bank. He withdrew some large bills to pay for moving expenses to Las Vegas, and he bought a truck and headed east to begin his new adventure.

2 The son s plan was to apply his knowledge of the wine business to the development of a chain of wine bars that would attract tourists to his establishments. Before purchasing real estate or applying for a food and beverage license, the son set up housekeeping in a high-rise apartment complex on the strip. During the day he scoured the business pages to learn more about the local economy. He noted the names of key players and competitors, and figured out which banks and vendors offered the best terms. He spent most evenings patronizing his soon-to-be competitors to learn from their successes and failures, and to determine the niche that he would carve out. The son was happy to mix business with pleasure. He told himself that being a lounge lizard and hitting on strangers was market research. Since he figured that What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, he began embellishing stories about himself in order to make friends and close deals. A few months passed. The son was confident that his business plan would work, so he hired a commercial realtor to identify a property for purchase. When the son realized that he couldn t afford the property in his preferred location, he sought investors to help finance the deal. The first several loan officers that he met with refused to lend him money. Eventually he found a mortgage broker who dealt in high-risk loans who was willing to deal, but at a much higher rate of interest than conventional banks. Seeing no better alternative, the son agreed to the terms and signed the contract. He hired an architect to draw up plans for his first establishment. He engaged a contractor to oversee it. He applied for the necessary permits and licenses, and engaged a hiring manager to recruit and select staff while he planned the menu and stocked the wine cellar. As with most new businesses, there were a number of bumps along the way. Materials and labor costs soared. The wine and champagne licenses were harder to come by than he expected. Soon the cash flow reports looked more like plans for a roller coaster than graphs reflecting a sound business. About six months after the first wine bar opened, wildfires spread through the northwest region of Nevada, and thick clouds of smoke drifted into Las Vegas substantially compromising the air quality. The fires made national news which drove down tourism, and the decline in tourism not only hurt the son s start-up, it devastated the local economy. Some of the locals who frequented the wine bar lost their jobs, and those who didn t stayed home for health and financial reasons. To cut costs and cover his debts, the son scaled back the menu, laid off most of his employees, moved out of his condo, and started sleeping in his office. Things went from bad to worse. Within a couple of months, he couldn t meet payroll, pay his vendors, or cover his loan installments. The lender called the loan and reposed the property held as collateral. The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring, Reconciling Relationships, 3/31/19, p. 2 of 5.

3 To provide for his living expenses, the son went looking for work at the local casinos. He had hoped for a job as a bartender or a card dealer, but he soon found that the only job available was washing dishes on the graveyard shift for minimum wage. The son worked nights, ate food that he scraped from plates on the dish line, and slept (or tried to sleep) in his truck during the days. Given the high cost of living in Vegas, and the garnishment of his wages to pay his debts, the son couldn t imagine when he would be able to pay off his loans, much less have enough money saved to rent and furnish an apartment. Eventually the thought occurred to him that his father s hired help lived better than he did, so he resolved to go home, admit that he d made many mistakes, and beg his father for a day labor job in the vineyards. The following pay day, he gassed up his truck and headed home. It took the son about two days to get home, during which time he rehearsed the speech he would make to his family. Meanwhile, back in the Livermore Valley, no one had a clue what was going on with the young adventurer. So imagine the father s surprise, when he saw the younger son approaching the home. The son blurted out his confession and begged his father for a job. The father listened without comment. When the son stopped talking, the father announced that there would be plenty of time to discuss employment in the days ahead, but for now, he just wanted to celebrate his son s return. Then the father sent his son into the house to take a shower, and get ready for the party. While the son was bathing, the father asked his crew boss to round up the rest of the family and the hired help and announce the good news and the party plans. The elder son had been in the field all day and was among the last to hear the news. When he pulled up to the house, he saw a yard full of vehicles and heard loud music playing over the PA system. He asked one of the workers what was going on. The man replied, Your brother is home safe and sound, and your father is throwing a barbeque to celebrate. The older brother was furious and refused to join the party. One of the men reported this news to the boss, who left his guests, and walked around the house to talk with his older son who sat silently in his Ford F-350 Super Duty King Ranch truck. As the father walked toward the truck, he shook his head, and searched his soul trying to figure out where he had gone wrong with his boys. He had somehow managed to raise one son who hated the family business and blown his inheritance, and another who acted The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring, Reconciling Relationships, 3/31/19, p. 3 of 5.

4 like sibling relationships were a disposable commodity that could be put out with the weekly trash. When the father reached the older boy, the son opened the driver s side window so they could talk. The father offered a compelling invitation to the welcome home party, but found that his first-born was slow to respond and even slower to warm to the idea. The father went on to remind his eldest that he had enjoyed all the comforts of home and shared in the resources that the family had accumulated, and that he would continue to do so for the rest of his life; but on that night, they had the opportunity to celebrate the younger brother s return home. III The biblical parable comes to a climax with the father s invitation an invitation that echoes Christ s timeless invitation to accept God s grace: Come to the party, and celebrate! How we hear this story in general and the father s invitation in particular likely depends on which of the characters we most identify with in the parable. Those who have been estranged from their families, those who have slipped into the miry bog of addiction, or who have drifted far from God tend to identify with the younger son. They are self-proclaimed prodigals who readily acknowledge the errors of their ways, their need for forgiveness and grace, and their desire to pursue a new path. So they hear this ancient parable as a love story describing God s forgiveness and grace. Others who, by contrast, have stayed home and done their chores, those who have listened to their parents and followed the rules; and those who have routinely gone to work early and stayed late to finish up they hear this ancient parable and tend to identify with the elder brother. They resent their younger brother s bad behavior and their father s gift of grace. They bristle when they hear that their brother has returned home penniless, and they tear up the invitation to the party. These older brothers (and sisters) have forgotten the times when they needed forgiveness and received it. So they hear this ancient narrative as a tale about cheap grace, and they refuse to go to the party. Finally, there are those who raised children, taught students, and led parishioners in the ways that they had thought would promote empathy, self-reflection, and grace; but now they search their souls wondering how the lessons they taught could have led their charges to treat each other as though family relationships were expendable. These folks tend to identify with the father. The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring, Reconciling Relationships, 3/31/19, p. 4 of 5.

5 They empathize with the man who knew that one can extend forgiveness and grace, but you cannot make people accept it. You can reconcile your differences with your offspring, but you cannot make them reconcile with each other. You can even invite the whole crew to a family reunion, but you cannot make them show up much less enjoy it. In the end, all three characters are left to do the hard soul-searching, self-reflection, lifeamending work in order for true reconciliation to occur. None of this work is easy. None of it can be accomplished quickly. But it is possible. This is because we are not left to our own devices. Christ has given us the guidance we need to reconcile with one another and with God. If you ve payed close attention to the parable, you ve noticed that the story doesn t end at verse 31. Jesus leaves the ending to us to fulfill. He invites us to search our souls, reflect on our behavior and relationships, and to decide whether to do the hard work of reconciliation. If we choose to do the work, then we can not only go to the party, we can enjoy it. Alternatively, we can stay mired in our self-made misery. The choice is ours. The invitation is in our hands: self-imposed misery or divine reconciliation. May God help us choose reconciliation and follow through with that plan. Amen. The Rev. Dr. Arlene K. Nehring, Reconciling Relationships, 3/31/19, p. 5 of 5.