ST.GILES SMALL GROUPS PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH HANDBOOK

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1 ST.GILES PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK

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3 THE ORIGIN OF BIBLICAL SMALL GROUPS What was the Church s First Challenge? Acts 1:13-15 When they had entered the city, they went up to the upper room where they were staying; that is, Peter and John and James and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon the Zealot, and Judas the son of James. These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers. At this time Peter stood up in the midst of the brethren (a gathering of about one hundred and twenty persons was there together). Acts 2:41 So then, those who had received his [Peter s] word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls. The first challenge the church faced was how could the 120 disciples in the upper room care for 3,000 believers. What They Did: Acts 2:42-47 They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved. Small groups have been integral to the life of the church since its birth. God s people gathered at the temple for corporate worship and met in small groups in homes. They began to minister to one another and to the unsaved on an individual basis, and the Lord kept adding to the church. This pattern continued as seen from Paul s letters where he addresses churches corporately (Romans 1:7; 1 Corinthians 1:2; 1 Thessalonians 1:1) and smaller house churches (Romans 16:3, 5; 1 Corinthians 16:19; Colossians 4:15; Philemon 1-2).

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5 SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK TABLE OF CONTENTS SECTION 1: SUPPORTING THE ST. GILES DESTINATION STATEMENT 3 St. Giles Presbyterian Church Destination Statement 5 Small Groups Ministry Mission Statement 7 Small Groups Ministry Values 8 Small Groups Basics SECTION 2: SMALL GROUPS LEADERSHIP BASICS 11 Small Groups Shepherding Team 12 Small Group Leader 15 Small Groups Coach 17 Small Groups Director 18 Small Group Members SECTION 3: DISCIPLESHIP BASICS 21 What is a Disciple? 21 What is Discipleship? 22 How Do We Disciple? SECTION 4: FORMS 27 Small Group Placement Information 29 Small Group Leader Application 33 Small Group Agreement SECTION 5: APPENDICES 37 Appendix A Scriptural Support of Small Groups Ministry Values 43 Appendix B The One Another Commandments 49 Appendix C Biblical Role of a Shepherd 51 Appendix D Learn to Shepherd Your Small Group 55 Appendix E The Essentials of the EPC 57 Appendix F Stages of Group Life 59 Appendix G Coaching Environments As of 04/22/08

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7 SECTION 1: Supporting the St. Giles Destination Statement SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK

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9 ST. GILES PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH DESTINATION STATEMENT St. Giles is committed to pursuing the Heart of God together by moving Upward Lifting up Word and Spirit in a life of whole-hearted worship Inward Discovering who we are in Christ and who Christ is in us Outward Recognizing our spiritual gifts & using them to reach our world for Jesus We are dedicated to: Proclaiming the infallible Word of God Fervent worship and prayer which is central to our meetings & individual lives Reaching out to the poor & needy through missions with the Word & power of God Being a caring community where believers can reach their full potential in Christ Training & equipping believers to move in the power of the Holy Spirit through service & ministry Becoming a multi-ethnic congregation that includes all ages As we pursue the Heart of God, God transforms us into the image of Jesus. We are made Christ-like and Christ-likeness is the goal of spiritual maturity. Christ-likeness manifests itself in three values: Upward, Inward, and Outward. These values flow out of pursuing the presence of Jesus as He empowers people to live out the values of His Kingdom. A spiritually mature person is constantly reaching in these three directions: 1. Upward Knowing God in worship and devotion to God. 2. Inward Knowing Self in acknowledging and repenting of unchrist-likeness. 3. Outward Knowing Others in seeking to serve and to bless other people. A Spiritually Mature Person Reaches Upward God has called us first of all to be His worshippers to hunger and to thirst after Him. A spiritually mature person worships God. His primary desire is God. He does not desire anything or anyone more than God (Psalm 73:25). As the deer pants after water, so the spiritually mature person longs after God (Psalm 42). He longs for God more than a thirsty man longs for water. A spiritually mature person longs for fellowship with God and to hear God speak to him daily. He isn t disappointed with the circumstances of his life because he sees the mighty hand of God in all those circumstances and he humbles himself underneath that hand. Because a spiritually mature person is in touch with God, he does not need laws or rules to regulate his life. Looking at Jesus, the spiritually mature person becomes increasingly like his Lord year by year. A Spiritually Mature Person Reaches Inward The Upward look leads on to an Inward look. As soon as Isaiah saw the glory of the Lord, he immediately became aware of his own sinfulness (Isaiah 6:1-5). It was the same with Job, Peter and John (Job 42:5-6; Luke 5:8; Revelation 1:17). When we live in God s presence, we become aware of many areas of unchrist-likeness in our lives. 3

10 The spiritually mature person is getting light over the hidden sins in his life. He does his best at all times to keep his conscience clear before God and before men (Acts 24:16). He examines himself because he discovers many things in his life that need to be cleansed away things that other believers may not be disturbed by in their own lives. A spiritually mature person realizes that he has to die inwardly every day to many things that hinder him from being effective for God. So his lifestyle becomes one of taking up the cross and always bearing about in his body the dying of Jesus (2 Corinthians 4:10). A Spiritually Mature Person Reaches Outward A spiritually mature person realizes that God has blessed him in order that he might bless others. Since God has forgiven him so much, he forgives all who have harmed him. Since God has been so good to him, he is good to others. He has received freely from God and gives freely to others. A spiritually mature person is concerned for the welfare of others. He is filled with compassion for lost and suffering humanity and doesn t ignore a brother whom he sees in need. God is concerned for fallen man to help him, to bless him, to lift him up, and to deliver him from Satan s bondage. The spiritually mature person s concern is the same. Like Jesus, the spiritually mature person seeks to serve others and not to be served. A spiritually mature person reaches Upward, Inward and Outward. If he reached only Upward, he would be unrealistic so heavenly-minded as to be of no earthly use. If he reached only Inward, he would be depressed and discouraged most of the time. If he reached only Outward, his work would be shallow. But a spiritually mature person reaches in all three directions constantly. 4

11 SMALL GROUPS MINISTRY MISSION STATEMENT The mission of the Small Groups Ministry is to advance our Destination Statement by involving visitors, activating members, growing disciples, and developing leaders. CRITICAL SUCCESS FACTORS 1. Involving visitors how will we ensure that Small Groups help us welcome and connect visitors to our body? a. Each Small Group should designate at least one member to welcome visitors to the church. b. Connection cards from visitors indicating an interest in Small Groups should be submitted to the Small Groups Director and followed up within the week. c. Small Group Leaders and members should be trained to introduce visitors to a Coach who will place the visitor in a group that may best meet the need of the person. d. Information on joining a Small Group should be made clear in the Sunday bulletin and on the church s web site. e. Small Groups should be publicized and promoted in the church foyer. 2. Activating members how will we ensure that Small Groups help us produce fully activated members of our body? a. Connection cards from members indicating an interest in Small Groups should be submitted to the Small Groups Director and followed up within the week. b. Information on joining a Small Group should be made clear in the Sunday bulletin and on the church s web site. c. Small Group Leaders should prayerfully consider which members of the church to invite to join a group. d. Small Groups should be publicized and promoted in the church foyer. e. Group members should be trained and encouraged to exercise their spiritual gifts to encourage one another and for the edification of the group. f. Group members should be given a role or responsibility that helps mobilize them into ministry both inside and outside the group. 3. Growing disciples how will we ensure that Small Groups help us create community and make disciples? a. Leaders within the Small Groups Ministry (e.g. Coaches, Leaders, Apprentices) shall teach, reinforce, and model discipleship. b. Group members will be expected to develop mentoring relationships with other group members. c. Group members will be accountable to their group Leader to exhibit evidence of being a committed disciple of Jesus Christ including: a. a consistent Quiet Time including prayer and reading, studying, or meditating on the Word of God. b. active participation in the weekly worship services. c. a biblical lifestyle at work, in the home, and with friends. 5

12 4. Developing leaders how will we ensure that Small Groups help us create leaders in the church? a. Small Group Leaders will be trained in the Small Groups Ministry Mission Statement, Small Groups Ministry Values, Small Groups Basics, and Small Groups Leadership Basics. b. Small Group Leaders will be assigned a Coach who they will meet with for support, encouragement, accountability, feedback, and further training. c. Small Group Leaders will be trained to identify and to train an Apprentice who will eventually be an independent leader. d. All Apprentices must undergo the Small Group Leaders Training. e. Coaches will regularly ask about an Apprentice and offer assistance with the development of the Apprentice. f. Coaches will identify and train an apprentice Coach. 6

13 SMALL GROUPS MINISTRY VALUES (See Appendix A) Upward Values Worship our Small Groups exist to know, worship and bring glory to God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (John 17:3; Philippians 3:8; Matthew 22:37-28; John 4:23-24; Ephesians 1:10-12; Colossians 3:17; 1 Peter 2:5, 9; 1 Peter 4:11; Revelation 4:11). Inward Values Individuals each individual is created in the image of God and has intrinsic value; our Small Groups provide an environment in which believers discover who they are in Christ and who Christ is in them and are transformed into the image of Christ (Genesis 1:27; Romans 8:28-30; Romans 12:1-2; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 4:19; Colossians 3:1-4). Outward Values Visitors our Small Groups will be the means by which we welcome visitors into our local expression of the body of Christ (Acts 2:46-47; Acts 5:14; Romans 16:1-2; Hebrews 13:1-2; 3 John 5-6). Members our Small Groups will be an environment where people are encouraged to discover and to use their spiritual gifts for the building up of the body (Romans 12:3-6; 1 Corinthians 12:12-13, 27; Ephesians 4:11-13; 1 Timothy 4:14; 2 Timothy 1:6; 1 Peter 4:10). Discipleship through Small Groups, individuals will be challenged to discover and to obey all that God has commanded and to press on to spiritual maturity until each is made complete in Christ (Matthew 28:19-20; John 14:15; John 15:10; 1 John 2:3; 1 John 5:3; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15; Acts 14:21-22; Ephesians 4:13, 15; Colossians 1:28; Hebrews 6:1). Community our Small Groups exist to build the deep relationships which will foster discipleship (John 17:20-23; Matthew 22:37-39; John 13:34; Acts 2:42; Galatians 6:10; 1 John 1:7). Care our Small Groups will provide for the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of our members as we care for one another (See Appendix B The One Another Commandments ). Leadership Development in our caring Small Group environment, leaders will be developed so that ministry will be multiplied (2 Timothy 2:2; Mark 3:14; Colossians 2:6-7; Philippians 2:19, 22-25; 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9; 1 Timothy 4:12). Outreach our Small Groups will be a vehicle by which our church loves, serves, and reaches out to our neighbors and community (Mark 16:15; Matthew 5:13-16; Acts 1:8; Acts 6:7; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20). 7

14 SMALL GROUPS BASICS Definition A Small Group is a group of people who commit themselves to meet regularly and are led by an identified leader who is assisting them in their progress toward becoming better disciples of Jesus Christ by intentionally providing an environment for worship, the Word, community, body life, care, and outreach. Nature of the Group Group of People: Groups should be six to twelve people, including the Leader and an identified Apprentice, plus an open chair to welcome visitors. If a group has more than twelve people, it should be preparing to birth a new group. Commit themselves to meet regularly: Groups should gather in a face-to-face setting at least two times per month. Role of the Leader Identified Leader: Small Group Leaders will be nurturers and shepherds to their groups. Leaders must be approved by the Session and mentored and supported by a Coach. If a group continues meeting past two years, the group, together with its Leader and Coach, will evaluate whether the group should continue, birth a new group, disband, or find another mission. Assisting Group Member s Progress Toward Becoming Better Disciples of Jesus Christ: Small Group Leaders will provide care, encouragement, and support so that each member is progressing toward the goal of spiritual maturity or Christ-likeness as evidenced by ongoing transformation, personal holiness, compassionate service, and the fruit of the Spirit. Intentionally Providing an Environment: Small Group Leaders will guide the group s relationships, practices, and experiences so that spiritual progress can be made. Environment Provided Worship: A place where members are challenged and trained to live a lifestyle of worship as they love God with all their heart, soul, and mind and as they are transformed into the image of Christ. The Word: A place where members are collectively transformed by the Word of God through study, discussion, questions, and sharing of insights. Community, Body Life, and Care: A place where each individual is welcomed and valued and where people care for one another by knowing and being known, loving and being loved, serving and being served. A place where spiritual gifts are recognized, developed, and used for the edification of the body. Outreach: A place where groups reach beyond themselves in service and mission. 8

15 Small Groups Leadership Basics SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK

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17 SMALL GROUPS SHEPHERDING TEAM ELDERS AND PASTORS SMALL GROUPS DIRECTOR COACH COACH COACH LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER LEADER MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS MEMBERS The Elders and Pastors of St. Giles are responsible to watch over the spiritual welfare of the congregation. Small Groups Director, Small Groups Coach, and Small Group Leader are not pastoral offices. Biblical Role of a Shepherd (See Appendix C and Appendix D) In Psalm 23, a shepherd Guides to rest and refreshment. Comforts in the face of difficulty. Provides for life. Assures of God s presence. In Ezekiel 34:11-16, a shepherd Leads the sheep to places of rest. Feeds the sheep. Searches for the lost. Brings back the strays. Binds up the weak. Strengthens the sick. In John 10:7-18, a shepherd Knows the sheep. Provides protection. Is willing to make sacrifices for the sheep. Is committed to the well-being of the flock. In 1 Peter 5:1-4, a shepherd Leads voluntarily. Leads with eagerness. Leads by example. Relational Foundation of a Leader Like Jesus, a Small Group Leader is a shepherd and a servant. A shepherd is one who leads from a heart of compassion and encouragement, nurturing and developing others. He or she leads in response to our Great Shepherd who encourages growth Upward, Inward, and Outward. The distinguishing characteristic of a shepherd/leader is that the person has a born again, growing personal relationship with Christ (2 Peter 3:18). Leaders carry out Jesus greatest Commandment to love God with all their heart, soul and mind and to love their neighbor as themselves (Matthew 22: 37-38). 11

18 SMALL GROUP LEADER A Small Group Leader is responsible, with the assistance of a Coach, for building a Small Group consistent with the St. Giles Small Groups Ministry strategy, conducting life-changing meetings, shepherding the members of the group, and planning for group multiplication. Qualifications of a Small Group Leader is an active member of St. Giles and of a Small Group. is an adherent of the Essentials of the EPC (See Appendix E). is committed to advancing each component of the church s Destination Statement. is exhibiting evidence of being a committed disciple of Jesus Christ including: a consistent Quiet Time including prayer and reading, studying, or meditating on the Word of God. active participation in the weekly worship services. a biblical lifestyle at work, in the home, and with friends. is consistently growing in the Lord (2 Peter 1:3-11). is developing competency as one who: discerns giftedness. listens well. leads. delegates. builds loving community. ministers hospitality which is demonstrated by: care. selflessness. gentleness. an environment which is warm, safe, and restful (Matthew 11:28). facilitates healthy group dynamics and individual growth in others. is teachable and generous in Christ-likeness. is demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit. is known as one who builds relationships from a Spirit led, loving, servant leadership posture. is free from other responsibilities such that he or she can shepherd as outlined above. 12

19 Responsibilities of a Small Group Leader 1. Pastoral Care Pray collectively for the group and individually for group members (communicate with group members to determine how to pray for them). Maintain contact with group members outside of regular group meetings for care and support. Coordinate need-based ministry within the group (hospital visits, illness assistance, celebrations, etc.). Set the example for the one another commands. Mentor group members in their personal pursuit of becoming like Christ. Train and encourage members to exercise their spiritual gifts to encourage one another and for the edification of the group. 2. Group Meetings Help the group to agree on the purpose of the group, meeting time, meeting place, and materials to be used. Prepare for each meeting which includes delegating to individual members of the group such responsibilities as hosting, leading worship, and leading the study/discussion. Time the group meetings so there is an effective and balanced emphasis on the Upward, Inward, and Outward components. Create an atmosphere of openness and acceptance through affirmation and encouragement. Listen attentively to each person in the group. Encourage participation from each person. Help keep the discussion focused. Watch for and be ready to respond, when necessary, to the following: The dominator who talks too much. The rambler who easily gets off the subject. The shy or hesitant person who doesn t contribute. The authoritarian whose opinion is always right. The person with problems that need solving. 3. Leadership Development A renewable one year commitment. Pass on vision for Small Groups Ministry. Train an Apprentice to become capable of leading either the original group or a new group. Meet regularly with a Small Groups Coach for support, encouragement, accountability, feedback, and further training. Spend consistent time in the Scripture and in prayer. You cannot give what you do not have. 4. Ministry Expansion Commit to keep the group always open to newcomers. When the group gets too large, plan to birth a new group so that the group s ministry reproduces itself. Facilitate the group s birthing of a new group at the appropriate time and in conjunction with the Small Groups Coach. Encourage members to pray about who will be part of each new group. 13

20 Identification of Small Group Leader In the development of the Small Groups Ministry, Small Group Leaders will be identified as follows: Phase 1: Potential Small Group Leaders who exemplify the above qualifications will be identified From existing Small Group Leaders. From nominations from the congregation and recruitment by the Small Groups Shepherding Team, consisting of the Small Groups Director and Small Groups Coaches. From applications by individuals at their own initiative. Phase 2: The Small Groups Shepherding Team, after interviewing the nominees, will make recommendations regarding the nominees. Phase 3: The Small Groups Director will present the nominees to the Session for approval. Afterwards, Small Group Leaders will be identified as follows: Phase 1: An Apprentice Small Group Leader, after consulting with and being recommended by his or her Small Group Leader, may submit a Small Group Leader Application to the Small Groups Director. A Small Group member, after consulting with and being recommended by his or her Small Group Leader, may submit a Small Group Leader Application to the Small Groups Director. Phase 2: The Small Groups Shepherding Team, after interviewing the nominee, will make recommendations regarding the nominee. Phase 3: The Small Groups Director will present the nominee to the Session for approval. Training of Small Group Leaders The Small Groups Director will identify a team of Coaches who will shepherd the Small Group Leaders. Initial Training in the Small Groups Ministry Mission Statement, Small Groups Ministry Values, Small Groups Basics, and Small Groups Leadership Basics. Ongoing training will include transformational, informational and practical skill development: through a shepherding relationship under a seasoned Small Groups Coach. through quarterly leadership meetings. through a yearly retreat fostering development and fellowship. through personal educational study as outlined by the Small Groups Shepherding Team. 14

21 SMALL GROUPS COACH Qualifications of a Small Groups Coach Same qualifications as a Small Group Leader. A desire to train, encourage, and shepherd Leaders. Experienced in leading Small Groups through each stage of a group life (See Appendix F). Evidences spiritual gifts and abilities for shepherding Leaders. Responsibilities of a Small Groups Coach 1. Pastoral Care Pray individually for Small Group Leaders (communicate with Small Group Leaders to determine how to pray for them). Mentor Small Group Leaders in their personal pursuit of becoming like Christ. Assist Small Group Leaders in developing relationships with each member in their group. Assist Small Group Leaders in conflict resolution and managing their group through the stages of group life. Help connect people to Small Groups. 2. Leadership Development A renewable one year commitment. Pass on and cast vision for Small Groups Ministry. Introduce and sharpen Small Group Leaders ministry skills. Help Small Group Leaders identify and develop Apprentices. Hold Small Group Leaders accountable for a balanced, purpose-driven group. Develop an apprentice Coach. Spend consistent time in the Scripture and in prayer. You cannot give what you do not have. 3. Ministry Support and Expansion Assist Small Group Leaders in determining the purpose of their groups and materials to be used. Assist Small Group Leaders in bringing other people into their group. Help groups launch new leaders and new groups. 4. Coaching Environments (See Appendix G) One monthly one-on-one meeting to care for, to provide vision and direction to, and to develop Leaders. One quarterly meeting with the Small Groups Shepherding Team and Small Group Leaders. Additional meetings as needed. 15

22 Identification of Small Groups Coach Phase 1: Existing Coaches will identify and mentor an apprentice Coach who has served or is serving as a Small Group Leader. When the apprentice is ready, the apprentice s Coach will submit the apprentice s nomination to the Small Groups Shepherding Team. Phase 2: The Small Groups Shepherding Team, after interviewing the nominee, will make recommendations regarding the nominee. Phase 3: The Small Groups Director will present the nominee to the Session for approval. Training of Small Groups Coach Ongoing training will include transformational, informational and practical skill development: 1. through quarterly meetings with the Small Groups Shepherding Team. 2. through a yearly retreat fostering development and fellowship. 3. through personal educational study as outlined by the Small Groups Shepherding Team. 16

23 SMALL GROUPS DIRECTOR Responsibilities of Small Groups Director 1. Pastoral Care Pray individually for Small Groups Coaches (communicate with Small Groups Coaches to determine how to pray for them). Mentor Small Groups Coaches in their personal pursuit of becoming like Christ. Organize annual leadership appreciation event. 2. Leadership Development Works with the Pastor and under the authority of the Session. Pass on and cast vision for Small Groups Ministry. Periodically reports to the Session during Session meetings. Help recruit and develop Small Groups Coaches, Leaders, and Apprentices. Facilitate leadership training as needed. Organize annual retreat for Small Group Leaders and Coaches. Spend consistent time in the Scripture and in prayer. You cannot give what you do not have. 3. Ministry Support and Expansion Meet quarterly with Small Groups Coaches and Small Group Leaders. Publicize and promote Small Groups. Help connect people to Small Groups. Keep a master list of Small Groups and members of each group. 17

24 SMALL GROUP MEMBERS While the Small Group Leader is the shepherd of the group, a number of other roles/responsibilities should be shared by the group. The more people involved, the smoother the Small Group will work. Apprentice assistant to the Leader. Preparing to launch a Small Group in the future. Worship Coordinator facilitates the group s worship experience during meetings. Welcoming Coordinator welcomes first time visitors at the Sunday morning services. Follows up with visitors to a group meeting within one week of the meeting. Childcare Coordinator coordinates childcare arrangements. Communications Coordinator uses , etc. to enhance communication within the group. Event Coordinator plans socials and events for the Small Group including a group retreat. Outreach Coordinator plans opportunities and projects for the group to reach beyond itself in mission and outreach. Acts as a liaison between the group and the church s Outreach Activation Team. Prayer Coordinator keeps prayer journal to record God s working in the group. Small Group members are just as important to the success of a Small Group as good leadership. Here are a few questions Small Group members can ask themselves as they think about their participation in a group: Do I prepare well before we meet (prayer, Bible study passage)? Do I come with an expectant attitude, willing to learn from others? Do I really listen to others in my group? Do I give full attention to the discussion? Am I sensitive to how others feel about the things they are talking about? Do I monopolize the group or speak too little? Are my comments relevant to the discussion at hand? Do I help when a problem arises, either by offering a good question, a reference to what we have studied before, or a thoughtful response to another person? Or do I feel critical and do nothing? Am I honest about myself and my thinking? Or do I simply say what I think the group expects to hear? Do I help the discussion stay on topic and help maintain the group s purpose? Do I look for applications for my own thinking and action? Do I encourage others and pray for others in their various ministries from week to week? Do I accept encouragement from others in the group? Do I share my successes and failures with others in the group? 18

25 SECTION 3: Discipleship Basics SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK MANUAL

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27 Part of the mission of the Small Groups Ministry is to grow disciples in obedience to Jesus Great Commission to go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I command you (Matthew 28:19-20). The word disciple occurs 269 times in the New Testament. Christian is found three times. The church s primary responsibility is not to make people Christians and get them baptized, rather, it is to help people decide to follow Jesus and his radical message. Discipleship is a primary means for the advancement of the Kingdom of God, and Small Groups provide a rich context for discipleship in the church to take place. The Small Groups Ministry at St. Giles will be successful to the extent that every Small Group member is discipled. What is a Disciple? A disciple is a follower of Jesus who is seeking to become like Jesus through a transforming relationship with Him. A disciple is one who obeys Jesus greatest Commandment to love God with all his heart, soul and mind and to love his neighbor as himself (Matthew 22:37-38). A disciple loves God by: Learning to surrender to Christ as Lord in all areas of life, understanding and continuing to live out of God s grace (Luke 14:25-27, 33). Abiding in God s Word through consistent reading of and reflecting on scripture and continually applying it to his life (John 8:31-32; James 1:22-25). Praying privately and with the church body (John 15:7; Ephesians 6:18). Increasingly bearing the fruit of the Spirit (John 15:4-11; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Peter 1:3-11). A disciple loves people by: Living in loving community with God s people, identifying with and serving other believers (John 13:34-35; Galatians 5:13, 6:9-10). Demonstrating Christ to people who are not currently following God by living among them, loving them, and serving them (Matthew 4:19, 5:16). Learning to trust God with everything He gives them, allowing Him control over how to use those things (Luke 14:33). Helping others to follow Jesus and to grow in their relationship with Him (Matthew 28:19-20). What is Discipleship? Discipleship is a Relationship Discipleship describes a growing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Discipleship is a lifelong spiritual journey of becoming like Christ in character, attitudes, and actions. It is about aligning our priorities and choices with Jesus values and teachings so that we as a community can share with others what God s love is like. Because we continue to grow and to learn, discipleship never ends. 21

28 Discipleship is a Lifestyle Discipleship is a lifestyle that is characterized by integrating the teachings of Christ into all areas of life at all times. This lifestyle is characterized by encountering God through the scriptures and personal and corporate worship and by emulating Christ s life by serving others and reaching out to the world: Then He [Jesus] said to them all, If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. (Luke 9:23). Discipleship is Transformation The goal of discipleship is to produce committed followers of Christ. This process leads us towards Christian maturity or Christ-likeness which is primarily defined by the fruit a believer bears (John 15:4-11; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Peter 1:3-11). Christ-likeness is the result of spiritual formation whereby a disciple is transformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:28-30; 2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 4:19). Spiritual formation is the process of forming the inner man so that it takes on the character of Christ Himself (Philippians 2:12-13). As this process unfolds, the outer life of the disciple becomes a natural expression or outflow of the character and teachings of Jesus. How Do We Disciple? Relational Discipleship Relationships provide the context for discipleship. We learn about life through relationships so we most effectively learn to be a disciple that way. Discipleship, at its essence, is ministering the presence of Christ-in-you to others through the power of the Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 5:14-20). Discipleship involves investing one s life into the life of another person: Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our very lives, because you had become very dear to us. (1 Thessalonians 2:3-81). Relational discipleship is characterized by intentionally giving of one s time, being willing to be inconvenienced, and being available at any time. It requires both instruction ( to impart to you the gospel ) and personal investment ( but also our very lives ) to impact a life. A relational, community-based model of discipleship was demonstrated by Jesus and His 12 disciples (Mark 3:13-15; Luke 6:12-13). The Apostle Paul followed this model in his ministry to the early church. When he planted churches, Paul always traveled in the company of others. At different times, he formed a relationship team with Barnabas, Silas, and Timothy, among others (Acts 13:42-47, 15:40, 16:1-5; 1 Thessalonians 1:1). A Culture of Discipleship In concert with the Pastors, Session, Board of Deacons, and other ministries, the Small Groups Ministry seeks to establish a culture of discipleship. To establish this culture, the following components must be in place: An articulated and visible commitment to discipleship by the Pastors, Session, and Board of Deacons. Leaders within the Small Groups Ministry (e.g. Coaches, Leaders, Apprentices) shall teach, reinforce, and model discipleship including carrying out the responsibilities outlined in Section 2. 22

29 A discipler is a good listener. A discipler must first be a disciple of the Lord, one who consistently and intentionally listens to and is taught by the Lord through His Word and through prayer (Isaiah 50:4). Having listened to the Lord, a discipler teaches another person what he has been taught by the Lord. He also listens to the challenges and concerns of the person he is discipling. A discipler listens as much with his heart as with his ear. Paul was discipled by Barnabas; Timothy was discipled by Paul. Each Small Group Leader should ask who is my Barnabas? Leaders will be discipled by designated Coaches and, as needed, others. To lead one must have a teachable spirit and be willing to be led (Proverbs 15:31-32). Each Small Group Leader should ask who is my Timothy? Each Leader will disciple his or her group members, particularly potential leaders. A Small Group Leader is available to talk with his or her group members. A Small Group Leader also disciples, as needed, by intentionally meeting with a member for structured topical studies. A Small Group Leader also disciples by example: by the lifestyle he leads (1 Peter 5:3) and by the manner in which he leads the Small Group meetings how he responds to comments, questions, even differences of opinion (2 Timothy 2:24-25). Each Small Group member should ask who is my Barnabas and who is my Timothy? A culture of discipleship will permeate the Small Groups Ministry as Small Group members disciple one another. A culture of discipleship means that discipleship is an ongoing dynamic. Discipleship, poor or good, is occurring whether a group is aware of it. A Small Group Leader must be aware of this ongoing dynamic and must be intentional in discipling his group effectively. A Word of Warning and Promise of Reward A Small Group Leader s responsibility as a shepherd and a discipler must be taken seriously: Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account (Hebrews 13:17). A Small Group Leader is watching over the souls of group members and, in turn, must give an account to the Lord for the manner in which he carried out this responsibility. This accountability before the Lord should constantly motivate a leader to be diligent in his oversight and care of his group. The great hope of a leader is that he will receive from the Chief Shepherd the unfading crown of glory promised to those who effectively shepherd the flock of God (1 Peter 5:1-4). 23

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31 SECTION 4: Forms SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK

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33 SMALL GROUP PLACEMENT INFORMATION Today s Date: Name: Daytime Phone: Address: Date of Birth: Sex: Male / Female Marital Status: Single Engaged Married Divorced/Separated Widowed If married, for how long? Do you have children? What are their ages? How long have you attended St. Giles? With whom in the church are you friends? Briefly describe where you are in your spiritual journey: Have you ever been in a Small Group? Yes No If yes, where? for how long? What type of group interests you? What days are you available to meet? (Circle all that apply.) Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 27

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35 SMALL GROUP LEADER APPLICATION Today s Date: Personal Information: Name: Address: Daytime Phone: Date of Birth: Sex: Male / Female Marital Status: Single Engaged Married Divorced/Separated Widowed If married, for how long? Do you have children? What are their ages? What is your current employment? How long have been a member of St. Giles? Ministry Information: Are you currently in a Small Group? Yes No If yes, please describe that experience and provide the name of your Small Group Leader. Leader Name: Have you ever been in a Small Group at another church? Yes No Is so, please describe that experience: Have you ever led a Small Group? Yes No If so, please describe that experience: 29

36 Why do you want to be a Small Group Leader? What do you consider to be your strengths? What do you consider to be your weaknesses? What do you believe to be your spiritual gifts? In what areas do you struggle in your Christian life? How will this affect your ability to shepherd others? What are your hopes, dreams, and expectations of your Small Group experience? Are the people close to you (family, friends, Small Group members) supportive of your desire to minister as a Small Group Leader? Describe. How do you envision St. Giles supporting you as a Small Group Leader? 30

37 Spiritual Information: Please recount the main events leading to your salvation. What is God doing in your life and teaching you now? What spiritual practices are part of your life? Please list your church affiliation for the past 5 years, as well as your reason for leaving. Name of Church Reason for Leaving 31

38 Ministry and Leadership Experience: What is your current involvement with St. Giles? Are you serving in any other ministries? What previous leadership experience have you had, either in or out of the church? Do you agree with the Essentials of the EPC? Yes No If no, please explain: Do you affirm the church s Destination Statement, Small Groups Ministry Mission Statement, and Small Groups Ministry Values? Yes No References: Please list the names of two people whom we can contact as references. These should be people who have done ministry with you, but are not related to you. Name: Phone: Relationship: Name: Phone: Relationship: I affirm that all the information in this application is correct, to the best of my knowledge, and I give St. Giles Presbyterian Church permission to verify this information, and contact the references listed above. Signed Date 32

39 SMALL GROUP AGREEMENT For the sake of being clear about what we as a Small Group are about, we agree to the following. Our purpose as a Small Group is to do life together. Primarily this means: 1. We will care for and pray for each other. 2. We will do fun stuff and fellowship together at times other than our regular meetings. These include activities with other Small Groups. 3. We will serve our church and community together. We will serve the church by helping out with any events or projects in which we are invited to participate. We will serve the community through service projects to neighbors or area organizations. 4. We will study and discuss the Bible together. The point of our discussions will be applying the Bible to our lives. 5. We will make room for others in our group by inviting friends, welcoming guests from church and planning to multiply or launch a new group within 2 years. In order to create the right kind of spiritual and relational environment for our Small Group: 1. We will make Small Group meetings and events a priority in our lives. If we can t attend, we ll or call the group Leader at least 2 days beforehand. If later than that, we ll call. We will be on time to all meetings and events. 2. We will accept one another by affirming the role each person plays in the group and by receiving their thoughts, ideas and contributions to Small Group life. 3. We ll keep confidences. What s said in Small Group stays in Small Group. Only in cases where church discipline or physical intervention is necessary will others be brought in. 4. We will share openly our thoughts and feelings as we begin to feel safe to do so. If that means having some hard conversations, we ll do that as the Lord leads for the sake of spiritual growth and community. 5. We will participate in the life of the Small Group by sharing leadership and serving responsibilities for it and by doing whatever preparation for Bible study the Small Group agrees to. 6. We will listen to the thoughts and feelings that others share so that they are valued and heard. We ll also be careful not to monopolize the time without sensitivity to the Small Group. 7. We will love, care for and encourage each other, especially in times of crisis or need. 33

40 Key details for meeting together: 1. What is the focus of our group? 2. What day will we meet? It is expected that Small Groups will meet at least twice a month. 3. What time and how long will we meet? Small Group meetings generally should be 1 ½ hours long and no longer than 2 hours. Be sure to start and stop on time. 4. Where will we meet? Rotating houses share the responsibility and ownership, but is not essential. 5. What s the plan for snacks/meals? 6. What about childcare? Using Curriculum as part of an intentional spiritual growth plan We encourage our Small Groups to be intentional about the curriculum they study so that it helps move each member one step forward in his or her spiritual growth. Please see your Coach for details on how to do that as well as to get insight or approval on curriculum. Sharing leadership Here are a number of other roles/responsibilities to be shared by the Small Group. The more people involved, the smoother the Small Group will work. Apprentice assistant to the Leader. Preparing to launch a Small Group in the future. Worship Coordinator facilitates the group s worship experience during meetings. Welcoming Coordinator welcomes first time visitors at the Sunday morning services. Follows up with visitors to a group meeting within one week of the meeting. Childcare Coordinator Coordinates childcare arrangements. Communications Coordinator Uses , etc. to enhance communication within the group. Event Coordinator Plans socials and events for the Small Group including a group retreat. Outreach Coordinator Plans opportunities and projects for the group to reach beyond itself in mission and outreach. Acts as a liaison between the group and the church s Outreach Activation Team. Prayer Coordinator Keeps prayer journal to record God s working in the group.. 34

41 SECTION 5: Appendices SMALL GROUPS HANDBOOK

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43 APPENDIX A SCRIPTURAL SUPPORT OF SMALL GROUPS MINISTRY VALUES Worship John 17:3 This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. Philippians 3:8 I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ. Matthew 22:37-38 And He said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. John 4:23-24 But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshippers. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth. Ephesians 1:10-12 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. Colossians 3:17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. 1 Peter 2:5, 9 You also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light. 1 Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. Revelation 4:11 Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created. 37

44 Individuals Genesis 1:27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Romans 8:28-30 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. Romans 12:1-2 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 2 Corinthians 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. Galatians 4:19 My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you. Colossians 3:1-4 Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Visitors Acts 2:46-47 Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor will all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 5:14 And all the more believers in the Lord, multitudes of men and women, were constantly added to their number. Romans 16:1-2 I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea; that you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter she may have need of you. 38

45 Hebrews 13:1-2 Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. 3 John 5-6 Beloved, you are acting faithfully in whatever you accomplish for the brethren, and especially when they are strangers; and they have testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. Members Romans 12:3-6 For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly. 1 Corinthians 12:12-13, 27 For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free, and we were all made to drink of one Spirit. Now you are Christ s body, and individually members of it. Ephesians 4:11-13 And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. 1 Timothy 4:14 Do not neglect the spiritual gift within you, which was bestowed on you through prophetic utterance with the laying on of hands by the presbytery. 2 Timothy 1:6 For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 1 Peter 4:10 As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Discipleship Matthew 28:19-20 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I command you. John 14:15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 39

46 John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father s commandments and abide in His Love. 1 John 2:3 By this we know we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. 1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. Acts 14:21-22 After they had preached the gospel to that city and had made many disciples, they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch, strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith. Ephesians 4:13, until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and all of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.... but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ. Colossians 1:28 We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ. Hebrews 6:1 Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity. Community John 17:20-23 I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. Matthew 22:37-39 And He said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets. John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 40

47 Acts 2:42 They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Galatians 6:10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. 1 John 1:7 If we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His son cleanses us from all sin. Care See Appendix B The One Another Commandments Leadership Development 2 Timothy 2:2 The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Mark 3:14 And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him and that He could send them out to preach. Colossians 2:6-7 Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. Philippians 2:19, But I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, so that I also may be encouraged when I learn of your condition. But you know of his proven worth, that he served with me in the furtherance of the gospel like a child serving his father. Therefore I hope to send him immediately, as soon as I see how things go with me; and I trust in the Lord that I myself will also be coming shortly. But I thought it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger and minister to my need. 2 Thessalonians 3:7-9 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example. 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. 41

48 Outreach Mark 16:15 And He said to them, Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Matthew 5:13-16 You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Acts 1:8 But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth. Acts 6:7 The word of God kept on spreading; and the number of the disciples continued to increase greatly in Jerusalem, and a great many of the priests were becoming obedient to the faith. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed us to the word of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us. 42

49 APPENDIX B THE ONE ANOTHER COMMANDMENTS Love One Another (14) Encourage One Another (4) Greet One Another (5) Bear with One Another (2) Live in Harmony with One Another (2) Agree with One Another (2) Be Kind and Compassionate to One Another (2) Forgive (2) Serve (2) Be at Peace with, Wash One Another s Feet, Be Devoted to, Honor, Accept, Instruct, Wait for, Have Equal Concern For, Carry Burdens of, Speak to, Submit to, Consider Others Better, Admonish, Build Up, Live in Peace with, Spur on, Confess your Sin to, Pray for, Offer Hospitality to, Clothe Yourself with Humility Towards Do Not Pass Judgment on, Deprive, Bite and Devour, Destroy, Provoke and Envy, Lie to, Slander, Grumble Against IMPERATIVE COMMANDS, NOT SUGGESTIONS 43

50 LOVE ONE ANOTHER John 13:34-35: A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. John 15:12: My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:17: This is my command: Love each other. Romans 13:8: Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 1 Thessalonians 3:12: May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 1 Thessalonians 4:9: Now about brotherly love we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. Hebrews 13:1: Keep on loving each other as brothers. 1 Peter 1:22: Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. 1 Peter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 John 3:11: This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 1 John 3:23: And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 4:7: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:11-12: Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 2 John 5: And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER 1 Thessalonians 4:18: Therefore encourage each other with these words. 1 Thessalonians 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Hebrews 3:13: But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin s deceitfulness. Hebrews 10:25: Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another and all the more as you see the Day approaching. 44

51 GREET ONE ANOTHER Romans 16:16: Greet one another with a holy kiss. 1 Corinthians 16:20: All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss. 2 Corinthians 13:12: Greet one another with a holy kiss. 1 Thessalonians 5:26: Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss. 1 Peter 5:14: Greet one another with a kiss of love. BEAR WITH ONE ANOTHER Ephesians 4:2: Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER Romans 12:16: Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 1 Peter 3:8: Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. AGREE WITH ONE ANOTHER 1 Corinthians 1:10: I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. Philippians 4:2: I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord. BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 1 Thessalonians 5:15: Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else. FORGIVE Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 45

52 SERVE Galatians 5:13: You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 1 Peter 4:10: Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God s grace in its various forms. PRESCRIPTIVE COMMANDS Mark 9:50: Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other. John 13:14: Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another s feet. Romans 12:10: Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 15:7: Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:14: I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another. 1 Corinthians 11:33: So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for each other. 1 Corinthians 12:25: So that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. Galatians 6:2: Carry each other s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Ephesians 5:19: Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord. Ephesians 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Philippians 2:3: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Colossians 3:16: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 1 Thessalonians 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:13: Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. Hebrews 10:24: And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 46

53 James 5:16: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. 1 Peter 4:9: Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 1 Peter 5:5: Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. PROSCRIPTIVE COMMANDS Romans 14:13: Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother s way. 1 Corinthians 7:5: Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Galatians 5:15: If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Galatians 5:26: Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Colossians 3:9: Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices. James 4:11: Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. James 5:9: Don t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! 47

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55 APPENDIX C BIBLICAL ROLE OF A SHEPHERD Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes my lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows. Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Ezekiel 34:11-16 For thus says the Lord God, Behold, I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. As a shepherd cares for his herd in the day when he is among his scattered sheep, so I will care for My sheep and will deliver them from all the places to which they were scattered on a cloudy and gloomy day. I will bring them out from the peoples and gather them from the countries and bring them to their own land; and I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the streams, and in all the inhabited places of the land. I will feed them in good pasture, and their grazing ground will be on the mountain heights of Israel. There they will lie down on good grazing ground and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I will feed My flock and I will lead them to rest, declares the Lord God. I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick. 49

56 John 10:7-18 So Jesus said to them again, Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from the Father. 1 Peter 5:1-4 Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. 50

57 APPENDIX D LEARN TO SHEPHERD YOUR SMALL GROUP Three important relationships that will help you watch over God s flock. By Michael Mack Excerpted from I m a Leader Now What? by Michael Mack. God s Word is rich in its discussion about shepherding. Moses, David, and Amos served as shepherds, and all were influenced by that role in their leadership. The title of shepherd is applied to God, Jesus, kings and other leaders, local church leaders, and ministers (not necessarily paid staff members). What is a small group shepherd? For you to fully understand your calling as your group s shepherd, I need to distinguish between your role as a shepherd of the flock under your care and Jesus role as the Chief Shepherd. It s essential for you to understand that you are not the real shepherd, the Chief Shepherd, of your group. That role belongs exclusively to Jesus. Your responsibility as a small group leader is primarily to shepherd the sheep that God puts into your care and to go out and bring more sheep into the fold. Therefore: Do not view yourself merely as a Bible study teacher or the equivalent of a Sunday school teacher who presents lessons to the group. Do not limit your role to that of a meeting facilitator who plans and conducts discussions. Do not think of yourself as only a disc-jockey whose job is to put the DVD into the player and press play. Small group pioneer Randall Neighbor put it this way: The shepherd never says, I will tend the flock on Wednesday evenings from 7:00 to 9:30 p.m. No! The shepherd lives with the flock, sleeps in the fields with the flock, goes into treacherous situations to find a lost sheep, and carries the lambs in his arms. The shepherd is the first one to go into the valley of the shadow of death in order to lead sheep to green pastures. As a small group leader, you can divide your shepherding role into three vital relationships: connecting your group into authentic community with one another, discipling them to grow in their relationships with God, and encouraging them to make an impact by serving others. #1 Establish relationships. As a small group leader, one of your primary tasks if you can call it that is to build relationships with group members. As you begin, always start with a core group. One of the essential values of leading a small group is Don t start alone! Meet together over meals, building your team by getting to know one another. Begin planning the group together, getting ownership and involvement. Divide group tasks based on individuals spiritual gifts and interests. Then, as a team, begin inviting others to your new group. 51

58 You have probably figured out by now that the power of community increased the more people are together. Once-a-week or every-other-week meetings do not bring the kind of close-knit community you often see in the New Testament. But how do you make this happen, short of incarcerating your whole group? It takes time together, spontaneous and planned. It may take proximity meeting meeting with people where you live or work, for instance. It may take forming your group around people who have things in common. Instead of trying to find another brand-new group of friends, ask yourself, Who is already in my life? A big part of your role as a leader is to 1) live this kind of interdependent life yourself, and 2) to do everything you can to help develop this kind of authentic, groundbreaking community! But as a shepherd, what can you do to make this happen? Here are a few practical suggestions: 1. Pray regularly for, and with, the members of your group. 2. Keep in touch between meetings. Call, , visit. 3. Accept everyone, regardless of personality differences. 4. Deal with conflicts upfront. Don t try to wish them away or pretend they aren t there. 5. Stay positive. Group members tend to become negative about other people, the church, you name it. Turn the tide as soon as you can. 6. Focus on people, not the program. As Ralph Neighbor says, The people in your group are the agenda! #2 Guide them to grow spiritually. As a small group shepherd, you are in the most strategic position in the church to effect real, lasting life change and spiritual growth. The church s best method for caring, shepherding, loving, and growing people is you! But you may be wondering, How do I make this happen? First, as a shepherd leader, be concerned for where people are in their spiritual journeys. You need to know where people are in order to shepherd them to where they ought to be. Accept group members where they are on their spiritual journeys. Treat each person with grace, not judgment. At the same time, help group members grow. Encourage. Spur each other on. Teach and admonish one another in all wisdom. Second, model a disciple s lifestyle. Spiritual growth must be happening in your life as a leader. You are a model for what life change looks like to others. Third, keep providing the context. Continue to draw the group into increasing levels of authentic community. Don t give up meeting together, and people will grow. Fourth, assess where group members are on their spiritual journeys. Fifth, provide a process for growth to happen. Do application-oriented Bible study as a group. Don t just study the Bible. Do what it says! What do you study? The answer comes from knowing your group and what they need most to grow. Ask a small group coach or minister from your church for more help. 52

59 Sixth, be a spiritual parent to the group. Mentor some of the members one-on-one. Ask group members who are relatively strong in one spiritual area to disciple a person who would like to grow in the same area. This gets everyone involved in the spiritual growth process. Spiritual parenting means that you don t see all the group members the same. You shepherd them individually, because they are at different places in their spiritual journeys. Some are infants, some are adolescents or teens, while others are maturing adults. Finally, develop leaders. Continually identifying, developing, and deploying new leaders is a part of every group member s spiritual growth process. #3 Guide them to where the Chief Shepherd wants them to go. Here s a fact borne by years of experience: Group members do not always want to go where they need to go. They resist growing spiritually, being open to new people, stepping out to serve others, stepping up to become leaders, and sending out members to birth new groups. Group members sometimes prefer comfort to counting the cost. Your role as a small group subordinate shepherd is to take group members to the places the Chief Shepherd commands. That may not always be easy or comfortable, but it s one of your most important responsibilities. I ve seen many groups even entire churches cow-tow to members who prefer comfort rather than following God s commands. I ve heard small group ministers say something like, Well, our members won t open up their groups to new members or send out members to start new groups, so we ve changed our methodology to make it work with what we can reasonably expect our groups to do. May I implore you? Don t do this! Hold high the values that the Greatest Small Group Leader Ever (Jesus) gave us. His commission is to go and make disciples so go and make disciples! And don t ever forget that your sheep have an enemy out there who is ready to deceive, diminish, and even devour them. As your group goes into the world, your job is to help guard them against attacks. Of course, you can do this on your own, but only with God s mighty power (1 Samuel 17:34 37). The Greatest Small Group Leader ever said, I m here to invite outsiders, not to coddle insiders (Matthew 9:13, The Message). That s what he s put you here for, too. 53

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61 APPENDIX E THE ESSENTIALS OF THE EPC All Scripture is self-attesting and being Truth, requires our unreserved submission in all areas of life. The infallible Word of God, the sixty-six books of the Old and New Testaments, is a complete and unified witness to God s redemptive acts culminating in the incarnation of the Living Word, the Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible, uniquely and fully inspired by the Holy Spirit, is the supreme and final authority on all matters on which it speaks. On this sure foundation we affirm these additional Essentials of our faith: 1. We believe in one God, the sovereign Creator and Sustainer of all things, infinitely perfect and eternally existing in three Persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. To Him be all honor, glory and praise forever! 2. Jesus Christ, the living Word, become flesh through His miraculous conception by the Holy Spirit and His virgin birth. He who is true God became true man united in one Person forever. He died on the cross a sacrifice for our sins according to the Scriptures. On the third day He arose bodily from the dead, ascended into heaven, where, at the right hand of the Majesty on High, He now is our High Priest and Mediator. 3. The Holy Spirit has come to glorify Christ and to apply the saving work of Christ to our hearts. He convicts us of sin and draws us to the Savior. Indwelling our hearts, He gives new life to us, empowers and imparts gifts to us for service. He instructs and guides us into all truth, and seals us for the day of redemption. 4. Being estranged from God and condemned by our sinfulness, our salvation is wholly dependent upon the work of God s free grace. God credits His righteousness to those who put their faith in Christ alone for their salvation, thereby justifies them in His sight. Only such as are born of the Holy Spirit and receive Jesus Christ become children of God and heirs of eternal life. 5. The true Church is composed of all persons who through saving faith in Jesus Christ and the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit are united together in the body of Christ. The Church finds her visible, yet imperfect, expression in local congregations where the Word of God is preached in its purity and the sacraments are administered in their integrity; where scriptural discipline is practiced, and where loving fellowship is maintained. For her perfecting, she awaits the return of her Lord. 6. Jesus Christ will come again to the earth personally, visibly, and bodily to judge the living and the dead, and to consummate history and the eternal plan of God. Even so, come, Lord Jesus. (Rev. 22:20) 7. The Lord Jesus Christ commands all believers to proclaim the Gospel throughout the world and to make disciples of all nations. Obedience to the Great Commission requires total commitment to Him who loved us and gave Himself for us. He calls us to a life of self-denying love and service. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Eph. 2:10) These Essentials are set forth in greater detail in the Westminster Confession of Faith. In Essentials Unity In Non-Essentials..Liberty In All Things. Charity 55

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63 APPENDIX F STAGES OF GROUP LIFE Stage Formation Exploration Transition Action Birthing Termination # Meetings Per Stage Member s Questions Who is in the group? Do I like my group? Do I fit here? How is our group doing? Are we really open with each other? Will this group accomplish its mission? How will we do this? What can we accomplish together? Will we take the risk? Will we survive? How will we change? Did we grow? What did we learn? Will I join another group? Member s Feelings Excitement Anticipation Awkwardness Comfortable Relaxed Open Tense Anxious Impatient Doubtful Eager Open Vulnerable Supportive Grief Enthusiasm Loss Fear Respectful Reflective Thankful Sad Member s Role Gather information about others Give information Accept others Provide feedback Express frustration Use my gifts Take ownership Accept challenges Accept reality Discuss changes Give blessing Show love Express thanks Affirm relationships Leader s Response Caring Clear Accepting Feedback Warmth Modeling Confront Encourage Challenge Affirm Guide Release Acknowledge feelings Affirm members Review Reflect Respond Leader s Role Communicate vision Promote sharing Define goals Generate trust Discuss values Facilitate relationships Create covenant Provide selfdisclosure Re-examine covenant Be flexible Provide service opportunities Clarify goals Celebrate results Cast vision Pray for birth Communicate with apprentice Celebrate Give gifts Communion Bring closure Content of Communication Events Topics Facts People Group God s nature Feelings Values God s plan Group relationships Tasks God s work Leadership Vision God s desires Relationships People God s blessings Style of Communication Responsive General Brief Descriptive Social Explanatory Aggressive Argumentative Direct One-way Cooperative Interactive Two-way Confrontive Interactive Confrontive Expressive Reflective Understanding Affirming 57

64

65 APPENDIX G COACHING ENVIRONMENTS CATEGORIES QUARTERLY MEETINGS ONE-ON-ONE MEETINGS LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT Vision Casting Skills Apprentices Remind Leaders of the mission of Small Groups. Use each other s successes and struggles to show how God raises up and develops Leaders. Teach leadership skills. Confirm the Leader s vision for ministry. Discuss character and skills that need attention and devise a plan to develop them. Help the Leader identify and train an Apprentice. PASTORAL CARE Spiritual Relational Personal Model caregiving. Encourage Leaders to care for each other. Challenge Leaders to grow spiritually. Help Leaders and Apprentices build healthy relationships. Get to know Leaders personally. Concentrate on real needs. Be open and transparent with your life. Build an authentic relationship with each other. In specific ways, encourage a deep relationship with Christ. MINISTRY SUPPORT & EXPANSION Prayer Affirmation Resources Celebrate what God is doing in groups and personal lives. Pray for each other as a team. Problem-solve together. Exchange ideas and provide information. Have fun and be creative. Help them identify potential Leaders. Pray specifically for potential newcomers. Problem-solve. Celebrate all that God has done in their groups. Identify helpful resources for study and for ministry. 59

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