B R U M C I d e n t i t y T h e m e s # 1 : community Rev. Brent Wright Broad Ripple UMC

Transcription

1 B R U M C I d e n t i t y T h e m e s # 1 : community Rev. Brent Wright Broad Ripple UMC Acts 2:42-47 (Message) They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Everyone around was in awe all those wonders and signs done through the apostles! And all the believers lived in a wonderful harmony, holding everything in common. They sold whatever they owned and pooled their resources so that each person s need was met. They followed a daily discipline of worship in the Temple followed by meals at home, every meal a celebration, exuberant and joyful, as they praised God. People in general liked what they saw. Every day their number grew as God added those who were saved. For most of my life, I was a one-friend kind of guy. Growing up, Jarrett was my friend. I chuckle at myself now, because I don t remember my own phone number from those years, but I still remember his: We met when I moved to Indiana in 4 th grade and we inseparable into college. For 10 years, Jarrett was really my only friend. He was the only person who I trusted with my secrets and hopes and fears and the truth. For much of that time, most people might not have guessed that I was so private; I was involved in lots of things, I knew lots of people, and lots of people knew me, but I kept my distance from everyone and avoided real relationship with all but a very small handful. Even in high school at a small school where everyone knew everyone else, I didn t let anyone know me very well. I was a full-blooded introvert; it was scary to allow anyone in, so I mostly avoided relationship (not consciously; I only realize that in hindsight). That was true to some degree in college, and especially in grad school and during the couple of years I taught middle school. That isolation seemed to work fine on the surface some part of me loved being independent but under the surface I see now that it was taking a real toll on me.

2 I don t think I m all that unusual, especially these days. Despite the explosion of social media like Facebook and communications technology like cell phones and texting and chatting online and and personal websites and blogs, we re all getting more and more isolated. We may be sharing ideas, but we re not experiencing face-to-face relationship much anymore. We may be communicating a lot, but we re not saying much to each other about our selves, about our deepest feelings and experiences and aspirations and fears. Even though we re communicating with lots of people, there s much less live communication with one or two other people than there used to be. Interacting with ideas has taken the place of interacting with each other. The pace of life keeps accelerating to the point that sitting around on the front porch talking and listening feels hopelessly slow (maybe this is a generational difference here, but this is true of me and I m sure it s true of younger people). We re so accustomed to multi-tasking that the direct one-on-one interaction that is the foundation of deep relationship is a rare exception to the regular stuff of life, while for most of human history, it was the fabric of life itself. There is so much entertainment available at all times that more and more, we re substituting media for each other. We re substituting carefully crafted, packaged depictions of relationship for the comparably boring experience of real-time interaction. We re substituting the predictable and safe observing of others experience for the risky experience of our own relationship. Most of us interact more with the stream of stuff on TV or the computer than we do all the other people we connect with combined each day. The result: I may have 300 friends on Facebook and not be known at any depth by anyone. I may talk to lots of people every week and never share the truth about my life. I may know dozens of peoples names and not know anything about their joys and fears, their triumphs and their struggles. And thousands of people may know me without knowing anything of what I experience below the surface. Family members might be virtual strangers. Husbands & wives may share the same bed without sharing themselves. Ours is a lonely culture. The portrait of the earliest Christian community we re given in Acts is quite a contrast. Granted, this is a local church historian s perspective, and we all know that things can tend to be a bit rosy in congregational histories. Nevertheless, note the tone of life. Harmony, commonality, pooling of resources, togetherness, a common rhythm to life. The common life was primary; individuality was secondary. This quality of life caught the attention of those around them. Their togetherness, their common life, their community, was noteworthy. (An important

3 note: this was a group of devoted Jews following Jesus, and their practice was in continuity with the way God had called the Jewish people to live throughout the Old Testament this communal life was not a Christian invention.) Community is about connection to God through connection to each other. It is deeper than fellowship. It is something much closer to family (though let s be real, most families aren t particularly honest and open it s easier to be honest with strangers). So I m really talking about our idea of family. Real community requires trust and vulnerability, the sharing of the real self, a willingness to remove the mask, to stop performing and be real (which is much easier said than done!). Real community requires intentionality and commitment and resiliency, because it will mean swimming upstream. There will be plenty of folks who don t want to live this way, who much prefer the masks and performing the roles. We re used to church being a certain way folks being happy and everyone behaving properly and no one getting offended and whispering anything we have to say that s not happy but that way is not real. We re used to what I like to call Stepford Church. Remember The Stepford Wives? Surface perfection hiding real suffering under the surface. The appearance of community but it s all on the surface. There will be serious resistance to real community because it s risky. There will be people who are offended when we re real with each other. Some will most certainly leave if we decide that BRUMC will be a true Christian community. But when I share my real life with you and you share your life with me I experience the presence of God. When I speak my honest experience to you, when I name what I m feeling with you, I am praying. I am sharing my self with God. When you open yourself to me, the space between us collapses and it is a holy moment. When real emotion surfaces, this space is sacred space in a deeper way. God is present in that moment in a particular way. That s why community is much bigger than fellowship; being together and having a good time is part of community, but it takes real commitment and effort to help true community happen. What does this look like? Sometimes the relationship & sharing are the agenda (like with support groups). Other times, we do other things while sharing life (we play, like bowling or knitting or Scrabble; we re productive, like cooking or cleaning or working on the building; we re growing like Bible or book studies). Regardless, the point is the web of relationships and the fact that the very texture of our congregation is deep relationship. This isn t a program. This is about a

4 commitment to being honest and open with each other in everything we do. The early church community wasn t about a program of connecting because they were supposed to, it was about living the gospel, and rich relationship is what that looks like. What does real community look like? Whatever we re doing, we tell each other the truth about ourselves. We learn to let light shine on the parts of ourselves we want to hide by developing a variety of trust relationships. We get accustomed to folks being honest and we don t flip out when someone acknowledges painful stuff. We respond with gentleness to tender moments. We don t judge or jump to conclusions. We keep confidences. We refuse to trade in gossip and we work hard to recognize it when it s happening. I have lived life both ways. I had many acquaintances while being isolated for much of my life. Many people knew who I was, but almost none knew me. Only since I began seminary 10 years ago (and especially in last 5 years) have I lived into closer and closer relationships with friends and family and colleagues and congregations. It s taking real work and frequent experiences of risk. Occasionally I overshare. I regularly experience some measure of embarrassment. Often I would rather retreat into my hole. But my stagnating spiritual life has been reborn not through solitary spiritual practices (not that there s anything wrong with them!), but through connection to others. And in connecting with another person really connecting with them by honest sharing and listening I experience connecting with the Divine Presence. Especially in today s isolated, lonely world, this is light in the darkness, water in the desert, the Bread of Life to the hungry. We could become a lighthouse of genuine, honest people living in close connection to each other. We could become a contrast community like Israel, demonstrating what God s Way looks like by living it. Imagine what a gift we could be to the hordes of folks who come to BR looking for real connection only to find the experience that is, for many, a meat market, a shallow mask-wearing facsimile of intimacy. The real thing is here amongst us. It began at Christ s table. This meal is the source of real community, the engine of deep community, the starting place for authentic community. So what would you like to do that might help us build real community?

5 Why not start simply? Let s all commit to wearing name tags every Sunday. Think of it as a gift to the newcomers among us & to others who are embarrassed to not know your name. And Tuesday or Thursday evening, come sit on the front porch between 6:30-8. Let s all commit to stretching ourselves in the direction of being real with each other, knowing and being known. And let God create rich, deep community among us!