De Sales Says... Happy are the hearts that can bend for they will never break.

Transcription

1 De Sales Says... Happy are the hearts that can bend for they will never break. Spring 2006 Volume 19 Issue 1 Oblate Life Transplant Journal, 2006 By Tom Helfrich, O.S.F.S. Meet an Oblate In the Spotlight Andy Dunne, O.S.F.S. is a native of Pennsylvania. One of seven children, he had an older brother who is a retired priest from the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. Andy entered the Oblates in He completed his undergraduate work at Catholic University and his theology degree at DeSales School of Theology, both in Washington, D.C. he was ordained in 1959 and taught at a variety of Oblate High Schools until 1973 when he moved to Our Lady of Fatima Parish in Michigan Center, Michigan. He has served there as pastor from 1975 to the present. Q: Why did you join the Oblates? A: When I was in high school, I often thought of becoming a priest. My older brother, Pete, who served in the Navy during Sixteen years ago in this very publication I recounted the miracle of a newly transplanted kidney, a perfect match and an immeasurable gift from my brother, Ron. Life began anew as I celebrated my fortieth birthday that summer. But about two years ago that kidney began a slow, steady decline in function, probably due to side effects from the very medications that prevented rejection. As passionately as I implored Ron, he just wouldn t sacrifice another kidney. At last June s Assembly of all the Oblates of this our Toledo-Detroit Province, I shared my prognosis with the entire community, savored their touch in the gift of the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick, and marveled at the many who approached me to offer a kidney. Soon, friends and parishioners were making the same life-giving gesture. Only five or six had a compatible blood type, and after a process that seemed endless at times, I once again found myself humbly thanking God for the gift of a brother, this time in the person of fellow-oblate Ken McKenna. About a year ago, I rummaged through my old journals hoping to refamiliarize myself with what to expect both in terms of reduced energy and stamina and in the details of recover as this latest surgery approached. Apparently, I was feeling so poorly back in 89 that I wrote almost nothing in the months before that transplant. This disappointment made me resolve to record the experience this time around. As Ken s and my January twelfth surgery date approached, I found a small journal to bring to the hospital to offer key participants in the procedure as well as some visitors the opportunity to record their own reflections, answer the question, How has God touched your life? Those journal messages are a real treasure. On the day after the operation, on of my nurses quoted T.S. Eliot: Only the wounded healer heals. She continued; an appropriate quote for many reasons. We all are challenged by God, some more than others. May God guide you. Another nurse surprised me later that morning, a friend from my ministry

2 Bondings 2 World War II entered the seminary in Philadelphia after the war. It was at that time that I lost my interest in the priesthood. After high school, I became a longshoreman and worked on the Andy Dunne, O.S.F.S. docks in Brooklyn, New York. After about two years of working as a longshoreman, I began to think of priesthood again. My Uncle Dan, a priest of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia, had worked for years with the Oblates and had a great affection for them. It was he who suggested I consider the Oblates. So, I applied and was accepted. It was a shot in the dark, but it worked. Q: Do you like parish ministry over educational ministry? A: I enjoyed working with kids, I actually taught religion and music in different Oblate high schools for over twenty years. I honestly never felt called to be a teacher though, and there comes a time when some of us have to move on. I enjoy pastoral ministry and especially working here at Our Lady of Fatima. Q: You ve been in the same parish for quite some time. Has your ministry there changed over the years? A: Generally speaking, it remains the same. Parish ministry consistently involves preaching, sacramental celebrations, catechizing and pastoral care of the people in the parish. The actual numbers in the parish have remained fairly constant. We have just over 900 families and there is a wide diversity in age and so forth. Perhaps the most noticable change for me is in the actual make up of the families. Many of the people who were here when I arrived have died or moved on to other locations, and the current families are second and third generations or new families who have moved here. It is kind of striking when I stop and think about it. Q: What is the focus of your ministry in the parish? A: The most important moment of every week for any parish is Sunday worship. It is then that the congregation gathers to celebrate and become in a special way the Body of Christ. We come together to remember who we are as members of the Body, to support and encourage one another in prayer and service and praise God. Sunday worship is the most important moment of the week for me and a focus of my work. Other sacramental events are also important to me. Celebrating baptisms, marriage, reconciliation and the sacrament of the sick are a major part of my work. I also find I spend a good amount of time in personal counseling, especially marriage counseling. There are other things that are also important here at Our Lady of Fatima. We have a grade school and that has always been a big priority of the parish community. It also creates a significant financial challenge for us, which occupies a lot of time and energy. Our Knights of Columbus Council is one of the largest in the diocese and is very active. They are invaluable in helping build community and assisting in the financial stability of the parish. All in all, this is a great parish and I do enjoy my ministry and my life here. Q: Any hobbies that keep you busy? A: I have a couple. I like to paint, but don t spend much time at it. I m a pretty good golfer and spend as much time at that as possible.

3 Spring days at the Eastern Michigan University campus parish whom I hadn t seen in many years. God has touched my life, she wrote, by being there when I thought He wasn t tough times, raising kids, death in the family, daily challenges. It s only when I look back that I realize He was always there and I wasn t paying attention! I always need to be grateful for His lessons which may not be obvious until later. I was honored and humbled when Carl Mengeling, our bishop in the diocese of Lansing, stepped into my room that same day. He shared these thoughts, more to Ken than to me; This marvelous exchange between two Oblates is a tremendous victory of faith that can meet all challenges. You have met this test with great generosity and courage. Your faith has been a spiritual tonic for mine. Thankyou both for this witness to Jesus in your gentle and generous fraternal service. A little later a friend commented that God has touched her life by creating me and giving me family and friends to love and serve. He touches me continuously always with his love. Another nurse shared this; My Mom was a heroine and God was her bulwark and constant confidant. She was an amputee, in a wheelchair for thirtyseven years, almost completely blind for the last twenty years of her life and could find the positive in almost any situation. Her death was drawn out and painful, but she never complained and praised the Lord to the end. My sister asked how she could have such faith and she replied, How couldn t I? Whenever I feel overwhelmed or in despair the Lord speaks to me and quiets my soul. Here are some thoughts from a physician s assistant. I have been blessed that when difficult times arise I have always been provided with the tools or people I need to survive the situation. Many times it would be easier to wallow in despair but God has blessed me with great friends and family. If not family or friend is close at hand somehow an understanding person emerges. Frankly, I think the best came first. This is what K e n McKenna wrote on the Monday b e f o r e the ope r a t i o n w h i l e we were g o i n g through our presurgical p r e p a - r a t i o n s : I have been aware of a nudge from God to offer the kidney to you since last summer and I ve had a continual feeling that this is God s will. I like what St. Francis de Sales said in the Treatise On the Love of God: Once you have decided God s will, do not look back. Francis supports this with two reasons. First he says, You don t know if the option you didn t pick would really have been better. And second, even if it was, it s very possible that God wanted you on the more difficult path. Ken concludes, So I have confidence all this will go well and just as much confidence that whatever happens God will give us the love and strength to embrace the will of His Good Pleasure. Things have gone well, though not perfectly. Ken s kidney is functioning wonderfully A healthy Ken and Tom several month following surgery.

4 Bondings 4 for me. Dealing with the huge initial doses of immuno-suppressant medications has been challenging. You know how every drug has its side effects But those doses are being steadily reduced and I m feeling better and better. Folks certainly tell me I look a lot healthier than I did a few months ago. Ken too has done well, but walking into the hospital in perfectly good health and undergoing a procedure to remove an organ is nothing to laugh at. It was not an easy experience for Ken, though even in facing some challenges in recovery his generous Salesian spirit has remained solid. How has God touched my life? I m almost embarrassed at the privilege of now a second medical miracle to enable me to do what I m called to do to teach and preach, to listen and learn, to make known to others the truth of God s abiding love in the simple and complex events of daily life. In a world of wrenching disparities, who am I to be so blessed with such a gift yet again? God s love is active in this and all the events of life. If I can just pay attention and notice And if I have trouble hearing the voice of God calling me to use well this amazing gift, well, Ken is not going to let me forget! Obituary May Light eternal shine on her. Barbara Drabek On February 1, 2006 we Oblates of the Toledo-Detroit Province said farewell (at least for now), to a dear friend and co-worker, Mrs. Barbara A. Drabek, our Provincial Secretary for 27 years who died unexpectedly early on that Wednesday morning. While we officially listed Barb as the Provincial Secretary, she was so much more than that. She really was one of us. Psychologists say that one of the ways of determining whether or not a person has appropriated an identity is to listen to how the person speaks. Those who speak of a group in the first person have indeed appropriated the identity of the group. Barb always spoke of us in the first person. She would always say things like WE need to do this or that, not the Oblates need to do this or that. WE can t afford that right now not the Oblates can t afford that. It was always a WE statement. Barb was one of us. Barb had appropriated our identity. In addition to her 77 Oblate brothers, and those Oblates who have died during her years with us, Barb is survived by her husband of 45 years Charles (Chuck) Drabek and her sons Chuck Jr., Joe, and Steve and their wives and children. Many of the local Oblates came to her Wake and Funeral. Others who were unable to come sent notes of condolence to either her natural family or those of us who worked more directly with her at the Provincialate. Many people commented on the fact that while they had never actually met Barb they knew her voice on the phone whenever they called and felt at ease with her. One woman who came to the funeral is also an employee of an Oblate institution. She said that for thirteen years she and Barb would talk on the phone about matters dealing with the two Oblate locations despite the fact that they had never seen one another. This woman said she just had to come to the funeral for her dear friend her dear friend that she had never actually met. Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. Let perpetual light shine upon her.

5 Spring Book Review Spiritual Direction: A Methodology by Devasia Manalel, M.S.F.S. A few years ago, my archdiocese sent me for advanced studies in spirituality. I was introduced to many works on spiritual direction, especially in the Ignatian tradition. What amazed me was the lack of such works in the Salesian tradition. There was a short work by Fr. William Gallagher, O.S.F.S. written originally for the spiritual directors of the accompanied Salesian Retreat. There were some articles and a thesis by Nancy Bowden. For St. Francis de Sales, the spiritual director par excellence, this was surprising and disappointing. Having trained in Germany to be a spiritual director for the accompanied Salesian Retreat, I was interested even more in some solid work that would benefit the director and the director in the Salesian tradition. Father Devasia Manalel, M.S.F.S. has more than provided this in his new book, Spiritual Direction, a Methodology. This is as systematic work on the methodology of Salesian spiritual direction. While some may be put off at the size of this book, I would strongly encourage them not to be. This author has a style of writing that is easy to read. Like his patron, he explains his subject matter very well. He easily conveys his excellent knowledge of Salesian spirituality and theology. He expertly cross-references De Sales works in order to explain a particular point. What I found extremely helpful was that he referenced De Sales not only in the official French edition, but also in translations of Francis works that are readily available to the English speaking reader. If needed, a reader could easily look up the exact text in its context. I would strongly encourage the reader not to overlook his endnotes. Many are not only informative but also provide information not easily accessible elsewhere. They are handily available after each chapter. If he had just provided a systematic presentation of Salesian spiritual direction, he would have done the Salesian world a great service. But this book goes beyond that. In a world where the term spiritual direction can be confusing to many, he provides a clear distinction of the difference found in psychotherapy, pastoral counseling, biblical counseling and spiritual direction. In this way he not only keeps the director focused but also helps the directee seeking a good spiritual director. He makes many references to many modern works in spiritual direction. He also brings in many psychological insights and compares them to the insights of Francis de Sales. He clearly demonstrates how invaluable these insights of Francis de Sales can be to our modern world. This book is well grounded in Catholic theology, modern church teaching on Pastoral ministry, Salesian spirituality and theology, and good scholarship. St. Francis de Sales says you may find a good spiritual director in ten thousand. (A scary thought for those of us in spiritual direction.) He also encourages one to pray for a director who has the heart of Christ and is filled with prudence, knowledge, and charity. In this gold mine we call Salesian spirituality, it is essential that such directors be formed and guided after the heart that Francis wants them to have. It is likewise important that those who want to advance in the way De Sales provides have direc-

6 Bondings 6 tors who can walk with them in this tradition. This book helps in both these endeavors. It provides a good Salesian foundation on which both can build. It contributes greatly to an area that has been sorely lacking. It put very clearly on paper what I have seen in so many good Salesian spiritual directors whom I have had the privilege to learn from. My only regret is that this book was not in hard back, as I know I will be returning to it again and again. The Reviewer Rev. Paul Henry Office of Special Ministry of Spirituality - The Archdioces of Baltimore This book is available from: DeSales Resources and Ministries 4421 Lower River Road Stella Niagar, NY desales@desalesresource.org 503 pp, $ $3 P&H Contact the above address for info on: The 24th Annual Joseph Power, OSFS Conference on the Spirituality of St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane De Chantal Dancing in Darkness: A Spirituality of Hope in any Age August 3-6, 2006 The Durham Hilton Durham, NC Oblate Life The Archives by Rich McLernan, O.S.F.S. At this time last year, I had decided that, after forty seven years as a physics and chemistry teacher, my career in the high school classroom should come to an end, and I was looking for ways that would allow me to continue to be useful to the Church and to the Oblates in the future. Like the great majority of Oblates, I didn t know then that we even had archives or that someone was in charge of organizing them. Much less did I think of doing that job myself. But on his annual visitation of individual members of the province last year, Dave Whalen told me that this was a project that he saw as necessary for preserving the history of our province and for making that history available as a possible source for research in the future. He had initiated that project only recently, and John Ebenhoeh had accepted to do it for as long as he was physically able. At the time of our conversation, John had already passed the point of being able to continue, and Dave asked me if I was willing to carry on the work that John had begun. With very little apprehension of what an archivist does, other than than it had to be something like organizing a library (about which I knew nothing except the Dewey Decimal System that I had learned in high school). I embarked on this new career last July. So, what does an archivist do? An honest answer to that question would be to tell you what this archivist is doing. What I know about what an archivist does is probably no more than what you would guess an archivist does if you gave some thought to it. I come to this occupation with no previous training or experience. John Ebenhoeh had acquired folders of varying capacities, packets of labels of different sizes, and cubical boxes four feet on each side that contained cartons for shelf storage, and those (along with about ninety cardboard grocery cartons full of personal and financial records, photographs, and other memorabilia that have accumulated in the thirty years since this province was founded) are the raw materials for building the archives. There are, of course, professional archivists, and my principal resource for organizing our archives is a computer program created by such a professional, a Sister of Saint Ursula from New Rochelle, New York named Marcia Kimball, who created the program for the Ursuline Sisters. Her program is itself based on a commercial Windows archiving program that she adapted specifically for religious congregations. This program assigns numbers to the kinds of information that the archives should hold the history of the foundation, govern-

7 Spring ment and administration, personnel, ministries, spirituality, and so on in very much the same sort of scheme used in a library or media center. At this early stage of this project, the work I do is groundwork, and it can be described simply in three operations: I identify; I sort; and I store. Everything in those cardboard boxes has to be read (or at least examined), a decision has to be made as to what to keep and what to toss, and (if it is kept) as to the category it belongs in, and then it has to be put with those similar materials. Often these decisions are obvious; occasionally, they re not. Where are these treasures of province history stored? A half dozen rooms and a closet at the south end of the second floor of the provincialate have been given over to this purpose. One of these rooms functions as an office. Three of the others have been provided with shelves similar to library shelves. The shelves were produced last year by Nate Boltz. The other two rooms are empty, but since junk expands to fit the space available, use can and almost surely will be made of them. The hope for the future (at least my hope for the future!) is that in a few years all this useful information and these artifacts will have been grouped in their appropriate places. Then it will be the archivist s job to go back and distinguish each piece of material with a specific catalogue number and an identifying title. When that is done, he will use Sister Marcia s archival program to put all the information into a database, then into an internet file for the possible use of the members of the province. When will this project be completed? I foresee a likely possibility that it might not be finished in my lifetime, but a start (I hope a good start!) will have been made. Bondings is published four times a year for members and friends of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, Toledo-Detroit Province (U.S.A.). Its purpose is to enhance and develop the bond we have through our common faith and spirituality. We have no bond but the bond of love. -St. Francis de Sales Comments and inquiries may be sent to: Oblates of St. Francis de Sales 2043 Parkside Blvd. Toledo, OH (419) jlosfs@cass.net Bondings is mailed free of charge to anyone upon request. Please feel free to share Bondings with your friends and any interested parties, or send us their address and we will mail them their own copy. From the Editor... As I write this, I m in the midst of preparing for Holy Week services at my parish. This is a time of great celebration for the whole church and truly the most sacred time of the year for all of us. My reflection centers on what a wonderful opportunity this week provides us to engage in the pascal mystery through our liturgies and to experience the power of the resurrected Christ in the faith and talent of the community that gathers for these holy days. As you read, In the Spotlight pg. 1, you may be interested in knowing that I was one of those kids that Andy Dunne taught. He was always a cheerful, energetic man in the school, and while he says he never felt called to that ministry - he certainly gave it his best. We Oblates tend to care deeply about our ministry, no matter what it is. I think that s one of the things attracted many of us to the community. Oblates usually seem to enjoy their work and their life. As spiritual sons of De Sales, we trust his advice in finding God wherever we are. In Christ, Jack Loughran, O.S.F.S.

8 Bondings 8 Whatever Happened to... John Extejt, O.S.F.S. is not only the Vice President of St. Francis de Sales High School in Toledo, Ohio, but also a graduate of the same institution, of course that was many years ago. John has just completed a two year plus construction project at the school. The $13 million project almost doubles the size of the school. The completed project includes new classrooms, an art wing, new athletic facilities, a new chapel, two lobbies, new parking and landscaping. For awhile, John was not recognized unless he had his hard hat on. Some of the students even began to think he worked for the construction company not the high school. John Kasper, O.S.F.S., originally from Toledo, Ohio, is presently the pastor of St. Perpetua Parish in Lafayette, California. Lafayette is in northen California very near San Francisco. He has recently concluded a successful fund raising and building program there. Raising over $2 million, the parish has expanded and remodeled the parish grade school, providing the latest in science, technology, art and library resources. They also built a hillside plaza, amphitheater, playground and park attached to the school, and purchased a new organ, lighting and painted the sanctuary in their church. Like John Extejt, John Kasper is recognized more readily in his hard hat. Francis Murray, O.S.F.S. is a native of Philadelphia and the first Oblate Brother from Fr. Judge High School there. He has spent most of his years as an Oblate working in Western New York. He began his work there at Bishop Duffy High School, which later became Niagara Catholic High School, then moved on to service in health care at St. Mary s Nursing Home. He continues to reside in Niagara Falls, New York where he has recently been appointed the Pastoral Associate at St. Mary of the Cataract Parish. His duties will be to assist the pastoral effort of the parish. St. Mary s is right next door to the new Casino in town and Frank claims he never visits the neighbors. Oblates of St. Francis de Sales 2043 Parkside Blvd. Toledo, OH ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage Paid Toledo, Ohio Permit No. 510