Holistic The Journey to Emotional Health: 3 John 1:2 Pastor Jerome Gay Jr.

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1 Holistic The Journey to Emotional Health: 3 John 1:2 Pastor Jerome Gay Jr. Announcements MLK Prayer and Race Panel with TCC on January 17 th at 6:30p, childcare provided. Family Talent Show January 20 th. The Women s Ministry Launch Meet & Greet will take place January 21 12:30p in the fellowship hall. Vision Church Fast January 21 st 30 th. For the next few weeks we re going to be in a series called Holistic: Embracing the Power of Spiritual and Emotional Health and our goals for this series are: 1. For you to understand the necessity of emotional health and its connection to growth in Christ. 2. For you to grow in self-awareness. 3. For you to embrace your limitations. 4. For you to establish healthy rhythms of rest. (My personal journey to emotional health: the call) How are you stewarding your soul? In all of my years as a Christian and being actively involved in numerous churches, this is a question that I was never asked. I was asked about my purity, I was asked about my finances, asked about my relationships and family, but never was I asked about my soul. This isn t to cast any aspersions on the ministries that I ve been a part of, but rather to reveal a huge whole in our discipleship process and that s that we focus on doing over being rather than being over doing. We ve been trained to measure transformation and success externally and as a result, we value ourselves externally, which leads to various forms of spiritual and emotional stress, which slowly sucks away our joy and expectation (we stop believing, we stop dreaming, we stop hoping). Is this what God intended? Does God only care about how many hours you spend in church, how many ministries you serve on and how many people you lead to Christ? Of course, those things matter, but don t forget that he cares about you, He died for you, He rose for you and if you re a Christian, He lives in you. It s never God s purpose for you to operate at a continuous state of spiritual and emotional fatigue and emotional instability. The Holy Spirit who lives inside us guides us to all truth about God and ourselves, understanding this will free us from futility of valuing ourselves externally, living beyond our limitations, no longer believing that God has more for us than what s before us and living in a constant state of emotional unhealthiness and dissatisfaction with life. Thought Tattoo Success doesn t satisfy the soul, but a satisfied soul is success! 1

2 Jesus satisfied the wrath of God, not for us to find satisfaction in other things, but rather for us to be satisfied in Him. What happens to many Christians is that we just replace our idols, we don t destroy them or in church, we spiritualize them. The corporate ladder is replaced my ministry prestige, the salary is replaced by the number of members you have and attention grabbing is replaced by false humility. While external markers matter, what Christ died for was to save your soul, if that s the case, why do we neglect the soul so much? It s because we allow busyness and effectiveness to be equal and the busier we are for many of us the better we feel about ourselves, at least temporarily, but a satisfied soul isn t satisfied by busyness or accolades, but rather a satisfied is satisfied by being in right standing with God and embracing the truth of God. This is what we see in a few verses written by John to Gaius who may have been one of Paul s traveling companions (Acts 19:29) and one of the few people who Paul himself baptized (1 Cor. 1:14). We re not sure if this is the same Gaius. What John writes reveals God s heart for people: 3 John 1:2 2 Dear friend, I pray that you are prospering in every way and are in good health, just as your whole life is going well. What John says, reveals God s heart for us because his approach isn t one that s compartmentalized (business section, church section, relationship section, etc.). Notice he says, that he wants all to go well. All means that he has a holistic hope for Gaius, one that includes his mind, body and spirit. His prayer is that Gaius would enjoy good health and that all may go well with you is typical of the good wishes found in many ancient letters. To the prayerful good wish that all may go well with you, the elder adds, even as your soul (psychē) is getting along well. 1 Jesus gave all of himself to restore every aspect of our lives. When we reduce God to an external gift giver we miss out on all that He wants to do in us, He wants to restore you internally, not just bless you externally, again, external markers keep us in a constant state of unhealthiness when they become the defining marker of value and progress. Emotionally Unhealthy person is someone who operates in a continuous state of emotional and spiritual deficit, lacking emotional maturity and a "being with God" sufficient to sustain their "doing for God." Emotional deficits stem from a lack of self-awareness which results in: Emotional Confusion (knowing what but not why or knowing why you feel, but not what caused it). A Refusal to Embrace your Limitations (God does allow more on you than you can bear to rest in His strength 2 Cor. 1:8). Unaware of how their past impacts their present. 1 Colin G. Kruse, The Letters of John, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos, 2000),

3 Unaware of how others perceive them. Carelessness for the feelings of others. Equating busyness with productivity. The Four Holes in the Emotionally Unhealthy Leaders Perspective: 1. Lack of Self-Awareness this means you're more aware of what's going on around you than you are what's going on inside of you. If this is you, you most likely ignore your bodies warning signs that you're unhealthy-- fatigue, stress induced illness, fluctuating weight, headaches, depression or isolation. This is caused by your refusal reflect on and confront what triggers your fears, sadness, anger or confusion. 2. Prioritizing Ministry over Marriage or Singleness this is caused by not having a vision for your marriage or singleness (ministry destroying marriages). Consequently, you view marriage or singleness as an essential and vital foundation for what you feel is really important--building and effective ministry or organization, which is your real priority and NOT your marriage or singleness. As a result, you're investing more time into ministry than you are your marriage or singleness which actually cuts the life of your ministry short. This compartmentalizing approach, separates your marriage or singleness from your leadership and walk with Jesus and actually uses people for personal success presented as advancing the kingdom. 3. Doing More for God than your Relationship with God can Sustain you suffer from chronic overextension because of your refusal to say no and not discerning what opportunities to accept and which ones to reject. This doesn't mean that you don't love God or make time for Him, however, it does mean that you frequently mistake 'doing for' God as time 'with God', which means that you're not cultivating your relationship with Him as much as you're doing for Him. How much time do you actually spend with God away from distractions (cell phone, social media, etc.)? 4. Lacking a Work/Sabbath Ethos - this means that you probably treat the Sabbath as a suggestion rather than a command (Exo. 20:8). A Sabbath is a weekly 24-hour period in which you cease to do ALL work and rest, reflect and rejoice in God's presence and gifts. When you read scripture, you ll notice that it focuses primarily on internal growth. Jesus even saw how doing can cloud being in the disciples: Luke 10:20 However, don't rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." Notice that the fruit of the spirit is internal, spiritual and emotional: Galatians 5:

4 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Notice how Paul positions this portion of his letter to show the difference between fruit and work. The fruit of the Sprit is a package deal given to believers by faith and we grow in our understanding as we apply them. On the contrary, the works of the flesh are primarily based on external markers. Galatians 5:19 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Notice one is based on fruit, while the other is based on works. When we attempt to fulfil ourselves by our strength, we fall into the trap of emotional unhealthiness: What Reinforces this pattern of Unhealthiness? There are Four False Foundational Beliefs that drive us to drive ourselves beyond our limits. 1. Success is Defined by Bigger and Better we have been wrongly taught to measure success exclusively by external markers such as members, budgets and buildings or salary, relationships and upscale neighborhoods. These are good things, but not the only measure of success. Numbers are okay as long as we don't use them to compare ourselves to others, this is the mistake that David made (1 Chronic. 21 and 2 Samuel 24). Numbers count, but they shouldn't be the only thing we count. The Bible places more value on internal markers than it does external markers (John 6:66 this was after a numerical 'win' for Christ and the disciples). Remember: 1) Success doesn't always mean bigger 2) Don't choose between abounding in growth or abiding in Christ; do both. Luke 10:20 Nevertheless, do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven. 2. What I do is more Important than Who I Am - what you do matters, but it's not the sum of who you are. Being with God will exceed doing for God every time. Your interior life will expose your exterior ministry/calling every time. Your interior life will expose whether your faith is a supplement or the foundation of your life. Remember, God affirmed Jesus before he did anything (Matt. 3:17 and Luke 3:22). What you do matters, who you are matters more! 3. Cosmetic Christianity is Cool - many of us have been taught that attending and mastering a spiritual routine constitutes growing in faith and maturity. The problem with this is that its mechanical and lacks authentic intimacy with God, it teaches us to constitute routine for health. To break this cycle ask yourself what am I doing to cultivate my relationship with God? Then answer that question 4

5 with action. At Vision, we want to make sure you understand that simply doing your job/ministry responsibility well isn't enough. Why? We care about YOU, not just what you do. Additionally, scripture teaches us that God doesn't measure by popular cultural metrics; external markers, He looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7), internal transformation. 4. Be Apathetic to Addressing Issues - this happens when we're pleased with work getting done at the expense confronting personal and family (church team) issues. If we don't address issues internal and external problems will persist, which is why emotional maturity must be paramount as we grow. How does John measure a prospering soul? In verse 2 of 3 John, John presents us with the concept of a prospering soul, we find out in the following verses why the elder can say that he knows that Gaius soul is getting along well. He tells his readers, It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth [lit. your truth ] and how you continue to walk in the truth. The evidence that Gaius s soul is getting along well or prospering is that he remains faithful to the truth and continues to walk in the truth. The elder seems to be emphasizing here that Gaius faithfulness involves not only holding to correct doctrine, but also persisting in correct action. In the context of this letter that correct action is thought of primarily in terms of providing hospitality to those itinerant preachers who deserve support. In all three letters of John the author s joy is said to be complete when the readers maintain fellowship with him and walk in the truth (1 John 1:4; 2 John 4; 3 John 3 4). 2 3 John 1:3-4 3 For I was very glad when fellow believers came and testified to your fidelity to the truth how you are walking in truth. 4 I have no greater joy than this: to hear that my children are walking in truth. So, a soul that s prospering well is one that does three things: 1. Faithful to the truth. 2. Applies truth. 3. Shares the truth. We must not think of truth as something that only applies to our view of God, but truth is designed to transform us. Emotional instability is rooted in a lack of self-awareness, which leads to us lying to ourselves about present condition and our limitations. 5 Steps to Change (ladder pic, one at a time) 2 Colin G. Kruse, The Letters of John, The Pillar New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI; Leicester, England: W.B. Eerdmans Pub.; Apollos, 2000),

6 1. Familiarization Embrace the new normal you will create. Have a vision of health that you can realize. 2. Contemplation think about it intently before you move, don t let it be impulsive and then it die out, because your health and leadership longevity are at stake. More importantly your growth in Christ will be stifled. 3. Valuation place high value on this change as essential to your growth in Christ. The bottom line is if you don t value it, it will not happen. The Gap of Difficulty (going from valuation to reprioritization will cost you. Larry Merlo president and CEO of CVS in 2014 they stopped selling cigarettes and tobacco related products. Why? Larry said, put simply the sale of tobacco products is inconsistent with our purpose. Operating at an emotional deficit is inconsistent with God s purpose for you.) 4. Reprioritization reorient your life around these new values (time, money, relationships, etc.). 5. Possession own it unapologetically and stick to the behaviors to protect your emotional health and honor God. 3. You're not alone on your journey and you have access to loving community. 4. Emotional Health is possible (Josh 1:9 and Mark 10:27). Major Key Alert Learning to be an Emotionally Healthy person takes time. So, ignore the voices telling you that this journey is too hard, too long and too tedious to take. Instead remember: 1. God invites you to take daily steps, not weekly leaps. 2. The Holy Spirit lives inside you and is for you. 6