Discernment by Pilgrimage The Rev. Dr. Gil W. Stafford

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1 Congregational Discernment Committees 1 Discernment by Pilgrimage The Rev. Dr. Gil W. Stafford I ve had the privilege of taking a walking pilgrimage across Ireland. Walking across the isle of forty shades of green entails spending a lot of time in the rain. One of the worst rain and windstorms I encountered was crossing White Hill in the Wicklow Mountains. Everything I carried was drenched, including my map. The following day was another hilly climb from Roundwood to Glendalough, the holy site of St. Kevin. I endured another day of steady Irish downpour. Trashing my map the day before, the inevitable happened. I got lost. Being lost carrying a thirty-pound backpack left me feeling a heavy anxiety. I came across a couple sitting by the side of the Wicklow Way having a cup of tea. They both had packs so I figured they were fellow pilgrims. Are you walking the Way? I asked. Aye, the man said. We are walking the Way as well, but I think we re lost, I told him. Where are you coming from? he asked. Roundwood. Indeed, you re going in the wrong direction, he said, Where s your map laddie? I pulled out what was left of my map. It was a useless wad of soaked paper. The trek lines bled together into an indistinguishable mess. That s not a map laddy, as he reached in his bag. This is a map. He produced a detailed topographical map sealed in zip lock bag. As a kind pilgrim, he proceeded to tell us not only that we had walked in the wrong direction, but that we had walked about two miles past the turnoff point to Glendalough. On his map he showed us where we should have turned and what markers would guide us. We thanked him and started to walk back the road we had just come. Laddies, we ll walk with you a ways, just to make sure, he said. He and his partner walked the next two miles with us explaining in detail how to make our way to Glendalough. I have no idea how far we would have walked out of our way if those two people had not helped us. At the end of the Gospel of Luke (24:13-35) we hear the story of two of Jesus disciples walking the seven miles from Jerusalem to Emmaus. Jesus has been crucified and buried. The two disciples on the road had left Jerusalem on their way to Emmaus. They were filled with grief. Their beloved rabbi was dead. A stranger joined them on the walk. He asked why they are so sad. Shocked, they asked if he was the only person in Jerusalem who had not heard about the tragic slaying of Jesus. The stranger then shares with them his unique understanding of the scriptures. Eventually, the three travelers arrive in Emmaus and the stranger bids them farewell. But the disciples implore their fellow traveler to spend the night in their home. The pilgrim relents and joins them for an evening meal. As the three sit at the dinner table, the mysterious stranger takes bread, blesses it, breaks the loaf into pieces and shares it with his new friends. Later the two would explain

2 Congregational Discernment Committees 2 to others that they just knew for sure when they saw their fellow pilgrim break the bread it was Jesus, once dead now resurrected. As Christians this is our three-part story. We walk together sharing in the Liturgy of the Word, trying to gain an intimate relationship with the scripture. We gather around the Liturgy of the Table. We take the bread blessing and breaking it, we share the bread, expecting a mystery to be revealed to us in the simple meal of bread and wine. Then we are sent into the world to be witnesses of our encounter with the holy. As with disciples on the road to Emmaus, when we walk in community with Christ we are not left alone to cypher the possibilities of what appears to be a hopeless turn of events. In community with Christ we can discern the spiritual reality of something as horrible as a crucifixion and as mysterious as resurrection. Like the disciples who exclaimed, Were not our hearts burning within us while walking with Jesus the journey of discernment is a gift of the community walking with individuals desiring to hear the words of the divine breathe a fresh word into their life. We walk along side one another, listening to the word, sharing our stories, praying for the Spirit to bring us a life revelation. Discernment is a journey requiring the humility to listen, the vulnerability to share, and our openness to the Spirit. In walking with one another we all can hear the fetching of God. In the process of forming and serving on a discernment committee, each individual on the committee will experience personal discernment. This kind of hard work will, without a doubt, have a subsequent effect on their congregations. When one person listens to the call of God in the context of a listening community the results will be palpable to others (Amy Johnson Frykholm, Out of Silence: The Practice of Congregational Discernment Christian Century, April 3, 2007). Because life is not an easy pilgrimage, we travel together. In traveling together we can discover the path and the destination. In other words, we can find answers to our questions, like mileposts acting as a guide. Affirmative answers are honey to our inquiring tastes. However, sometimes when we discern together the answer may be no, or not yet or we are uncertain. When we hear the unwanted answer, we need to know that the Spirit, through the community, continues to provide a safe environment. We want to feel the community s commitment of continuing the journey with us. Our prayer, even in the most trying of circumstances, holds us together by our willingness to share in the Emmaus story, breaking bread in communion, and witnessing what Christ has revealed to us. It can be extremely comforting when someone receives an answer they did not want to hear, to know their discernment committee will continue to listen and walk with them through the times of doubt and confusion. This is why discernment is not a one time activity. Instead, discernment is a life long process of asking the tough questions of life. It is in our nature to avoid the frightening questions. But, the questions causing us to tremble are most often, God questions (Diana Butler Bass, Christianity for the Rest of Us). If we don t ask the tough God questions we may find ourselves lost in the woods, going in the wrong direction. In asking the God questions, as well as walking with friends, we may want to walk along side those who may not know us very well. Being among both familiar and

3 Congregational Discernment Committees 3 unacquainted pilgrims will give us the best opportunity to learn from those using the map of experience. If we are vulnerable enough to share our rain-drenched maps with a stranger, we will save miles of needless wandering. Discernment Committee Organization There are some excellent resources available regarding individual and congregational discernment. I would recommend the rector selecting one of the following books and making copies available to all committee members. Suzanne G. Farnham s Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community. Elizabeth Liebert, The Way of Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Decision Making Catherine Tran and Sandra Hughes Boyd, Spiritual Discovery: A Method for Discernment in Small Groups and Congregations Composition of the Committee The rector/vicar will meet with the aspirant to select the parish discernment committee. Working together, the two should form a committee that includes people who know the aspirant at some level and those who do not know the aspirant. The discernment committee should consist of five to seven members. It could be helpful if one person should be a member of the vestry/bishop s committee. One person is designated as the convener or chairperson. One person should be appointed scribe so as to keep highlights (not copious notes) and be prepared to construct the first draft of the letter of response to the rector. The rector should not serve on the discernment committee so as to afford her or him the availability as consultant/priest for the committee or aspirant. Meeting organization The discernment committee will meet a minimum of four times. Additional meetings could be called if needed, but only in consultation with the rector and the Commission on Ministry shepherd. The meetings should be held about two weeks apart and should last no longer than minutes. Meeting construction First meeting A Commission on Ministry representative will meet with the committee and the aspirant to provide instruction and guidance for the structure of the meetings. The convener and the scribe should be appointed. The COM representative will outline the meeting organization and construction, provide information regarding discernment and answer any question from the committee or the aspirant.

4 Congregational Discernment Committees 4 Second Meeting Each member of the committee will be prepared to share with the aspirant a brief (no more than five minute) spiritual autobiography. The aspirant may ask clarification questions if needed. The convener must keep everyone to the time constraints. The purpose of this meeting is to allow the aspirant to feel on equal footing with the committee the idea that everyone shares openly during this period of discernment. Third meeting This meeting is dedicated to the aspirant telling his/her spiritual autobiography to the committee. This spiritual autobiography should be written but not read by the aspirant. After the presentation the written copies are distributed. These can be used as reference for later questioning and reflection. If the aspirant moves forward in the discernment process, he/she will have to submit several additional essay questions, and this spiritual autobiography will be helpful in preparing these essays and in the presentation to the Commission on Ministry. The committee may ask the aspirant questions for clarification given time available. Discernment is an act of the community. Together the committee and the aspirant listen to the Holy Spirit speak into the soul of one in their midst not only for the sake of one person by for the entire community. While the interest of these committees often find themselves focused on the vocational call of one individual, the concomitant results of such work manifests as the personal discernment of each participant within the committee. Here is a list of questions that are unavoidable for consideration of personal discernment. Obviously, this is not the definitive or complete list of questions. 1. What do I really want to do with the remainder of my life? 2. Who is God to me? 3. How do I experience each facet of God in the Trinity? 4. How would I describe my prayer life? 5. How best do I relate to people? How would I describe my best/worst relationships? 6. How do I feel about the authority placed over me? 7. How do reflect? Do I journal? Do I have a spiritual director? Do I seek counseling? What impact have these had on my life and being? 8. What do I read and why would someone care what I am reading? Individual as well as group dynamics always will factor into the success of a discernment committee. Here are some items to consider as we journey through the discernment process.

5 Congregational Discernment Committees 5 Silence how long can any individual hold the group in silence? How much reflection is offered before any particular committee member responds? Who is in the room that is not physically present? What is not being said? What is being communicated through body language? What is being communicated through voice inflection, tone and volume? What is behind the story? What is underneath the story? Fourth and subsequent meetings This should be a time that the committee asks openended questions designed to allow the aspirant to experience self-discovery regarding their call. The final meeting The aspirant will not attend this meeting. The committee will share their feelings and discoveries. At this time the committee needs to be ready to construct their first draft of the letter they will send to the rector/vicar. Several options are available to the committee: 1. The committee believes the aspirant is called. They are now ready to write their letter of reference to the rector. The letter needs to written, approved by all members and signed by all members of the committee. 2. The committee is unsure or divided about the aspirant s call. A letter will be sent to rector that should portray the full spectrum of the committee s observations, concerns, unanswered questions and conclusions. A subsequent meeting of the committee chairperson and the rector, and in absence of the aspirant, needs to be held. How the results of the committee s conclusions will be dispersed to the aspirant is at the rector s discretion. 3. The committee does not believe the aspirant is prepared to move forward for a variety of reasons. A subsequent meeting of the committee chairperson and the rector needs to be held for obvious reasons. Subsequent actions: Follow-up meetings could be held with or without the aspirant at the discretion of the rector. The discernment committee could be called upon to continue to meet with the aspirant for support as the person moves through the process. That decision must be made in consultation with the rector and may be directed by the Commission on Ministry and/or the Bishop. The final letter may or may not be shared with the aspirant. This decision is at the discretion of the rector and might be in consultation with the COM representative. The committee s letter will be sent to the vestry and if the vestry approves, will be sent forward with the rector s letter of recommendation to the Commission on Ministry.