3. Here is the question: Does God really expect me to be faithful if my spouse, parents, or siblings are not? The answer to that is... YES!!!

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1 Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family: p. 1 Title: BEING FAITHFUL IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY Series: Foundations of Faithfulness Text: (Gen. 18:19) 1. What does the word dysfunction mean to you? 2. The definition of the word dysfunction as it relates to society is a failure in society because of a practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system. a. If we take the word and apply it to the family we get, a failure in the family unit because of a practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of the family. b. To have a spiritually dysfunctional family is to experience spiritual failures in the family because of practices or behaviors that undermine the stability of the families spiritual condition. c. The principle here is that what the family practices is what the family gets. (1) (Pro 11:18) The wicked worketh a deceitful work: but to him that soweth righteousness shall be a sure reward. (2) (Pro 22:8) He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity... (3) (Gal 6:7a, 8) Be not deceived... For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 3. Here is the question: Does God really expect me to be faithful if my spouse, parents, or siblings are not? The answer to that is... YES!!! 4. I want us to look at the life of Joseph to help us understand some principles of Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family. Principle 1 God will not hold me responsible for the family I were born into nor does He hold me responsible for their history. 1. Joseph s family history. a. The family originally came from Ur of the Chaldees, a religiously pagan land (Gen 11:31). b. The family was known for deception. (1) Abram deceived Pharaoh (Gen 12).

2 Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family: p. 2 (2) Isaac deceived Abimelech (Gen 26). (3) Rebekah & Jacob deceive Isaac (Gen 27). (4) Laban deceives Jacob (Gen 29). (5) Joseph s brothers deceive Jacob about Joseph s death (Gen 37). c. Even though Joseph had a terrible family history, God still used him. 2. How do you think Joseph overcame his family history? He chose to do the right thing. Principle 2 God will hold me responsible for my behavior regardless of what my family may be. 1. Here is the point God specializes in changing us and conforming us into His image, no matter what our family may be. a. Joseph lived in a family that was dominated by lying, deceit, immorality, and manipulation. He could have lived an evil, unfaithful life and blamed his mother, father, brothers and sisters for his repressed anger, bitterness, persistent anxiety, fear of rejection, low-self esteem, his tendency to be deceitful, manipulative and immoral. He grew up in this type of family environment. b. The truth is that I can be faithful to God even if my family dynamics are against me. Why? Because with God all things are possible! Look up these verses: (Mat 19:26; Mark 9:23; Eph. 3:20; Phil 1:6). 2. How does God help me overcome my family dynamics? a. By the Holy Spirit at salvation. (2 Cor 5:17) Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (1)...be in Christ means to be united with Him in faith and to be grafted in Him as the branch is to the vine (John 15:4-5). (2)...old things are passed away the GK tense here indicates that there is a decisive break with the old way of life at the moment of salvation. b. In the book of Romans, Paul gives us four keys to open the door of living a successful Christian life regardless of our family dynamics. (1) Key #1 KNOW (Rom 6:6) might be destroyed = rendered inoperative. (2) Key #2 RECKON (Rom 6:11) lit. means to take into account, to calculate.

3 Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family: p. 3 (3) Key #3 YIELD (Rom 6:13) lit. means stop presenting (4) Key #4 OBEY (Rom 6:17-18) They were to obey the form of doctrine (lit. pattern of teaching) that brought them to salvation. The actions of the life tell the type of doctrine that has shaped it. Principle 3 God understands my family situation and background and He wants to help me rise above the negative influences in my life. 1. Our home environment does affect us, but it is not God s will that we get bogged down with self-pity. Things that people experience in their families can cause serious psychological and emotional trauma, but God wants to bring healing. 2. Healing in the emotional and spiritual areas of our lives can be accomplished if we follow God s steps. a. Step One We must experience a new birth in Jesus. (1) Jesus said to Nicodemus in (John 3:3)...Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. (2) This is the first step and the Lord Jesus wants all to be saved. (1 Tim 2:4) Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. b. Step Two We must understand our new identity. (1) When we are saved God sees us perfect in His Son. (a) God sees us justified (Rom 5:1) Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: (b) God sees us as glorified From God s point of view we do have new bodies, resurrection bodies (Rom 8:29-30). (2) Though our earthly bodies are the same after salvation we know that...we have a building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. (2 Cor 5:1) (3) No matter what our physical condition or psychological state, we have a new identity with Christ and we don t have to wait for a new body to enjoy the benefits of being a believer. (Col 2:10) And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principalities and power.

4 Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family: p. 4 (4) No matter what our earthly state is here, we can approach God with boldness and confidence for the help we need to be faithful to Him while living this earthly life. (Eph 3:12) In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of him. c. Step Three We must continually renew our minds. In Romans, Paul states three important things regarding this renewing process. (1) Sin is to never be your master (Rom 6:11-14). When Christ died and rose again, He made it possible for us to be free from the grip of sin, regardless of our family situation. As saved people, we are to offer our bodies to Christ as instruments of righteousness, not instruments of sin. (2) The law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of the spirit of sin and death (Rom 8:1-4). (3) We are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Rom 12:1-2). (a) First we must make a definite act of presentation of our minds and bodies to be used to glorify God. The verb is used in relation to the holy sacrifice in (Ex 29:37) Seven days thou shalt make an atonement for the altar, and sanctify it; and it shall be an altar most holy: whatsoever toucheth the altar shall be holy. (b) Secondly the renewing of the mind signifies that the inward change of salvation should produce an outward change of life. This happens when we allow the Holy Spirit to change our old way of thinking. (Eph 4:23) And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; (Titus 3:5) Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; (c) To renew our minds as Christians, we must control our thoughts, allowing them to dwell on and seek after God s will for our lives, not our own sinful desires. This is why Paul wrote to the Philippians, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, DO: and the God of peace shall be with you (Phil 4:8-9). (d) He also told the Christians in Ephesus to never...give place to the devil (Eph 4:27).

5 Being Faithful In A Dysfunctional Family: p. 5 CONCLUSION: Is the excuse of a dysfunctional family or family background a reason why we can t be faithful to God? NO! God is holding us responsible individually. Just because one member of the family isn t serving God faithfully doesn t mean you can t. May we be like Moses who was faithful in all his house... (Heb 3:5). Rural Point Baptist Church: 7/1/09 Wed. night Bible Study Foundations of Faithfulness series