A SHORT INTRODUCTION TO THE PRACTICE OF INSIGHT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THE INNER OBSTACLES TO MEDITATION. Ven Antonio Satta

Transcription

1 A SHORT INTRODUCTION TO THE PRACTICE OF INSIGHT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THE INNER OBSTACLES TO MEDITATION By Ven Antonio Satta Meditation has two functions: training and taming. Training here means, cultivating compassion and loving kindness until the mind is completely transformed into an altruistic aspiration. However, before we can generate that mind, first we need to tame it, as our mind is like a wild animal difficult to rule. So, just as a wild animal first needs to be tamed, the mind also first requires time to be spent on restrain and discipline. We should notice how the environment where the wild animal is trained is often narrow and small, with a very limited space to move, which makes the animal very restless and agitated. Discipline too is small and narrow with not much space to move, which also makes the meditator restless and agitated: damning (for the first few days, at least) the person who suggested such a stupid idea : And I even have to pay for this! The interesting thing, as we know, is that, like the wild animal who at the beginning freaks out, but then feels protected by the surrounding fences and is not interested in going out, the meditator too; as he/she gets use to the discipline and the ordinariness of the retreat, begins to appreciate the narrowness and simple atmosphere of the retreat, not wanting to leave when the time comes! What tames the mind is not a particular method or technique that we diligently follow and practice, but a proper life style: a cool conduct, as Buddha called it, which at the beginning (no matter how appealing it may sound) we find difficult and challenging, but in the long run

2 we realise how good and beneficial it actually is. The mind is first tamed by taming the body and the speech, even though everything comes from the mind; somehow we start first by taming the speech and the body. That will lead to the taming of the mind. With regard to discipline there are two aspects: abstaining and restraining. Abstaining here refers to stopping the ten non-virtuous actions: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct etc. Restraining means guarding the sense doors. If we ask why are we constantly going after sense objects from the moment we wake-up till we go to bed, what is it that we are seeking, and what do we really want. The answer is, pleasure, not the object itself. It is because of craving for pleasure that we go after the experience of: touch, sound, taste, smell, sights and thoughts. Therefore here what we are restraining is not just the senses (by guarding the sense doors), but the thirst for pleasure. Normally we seek and cling to pleasure and hate pain. We think that we can handle pleasure but not pain. So in meditation (particularly in retreat) we invest all our effort in trying to avoid pain. We are so afraid of pain that basically it becomes the main object of the retreat. Most of the time (for many people) the retreat is spent in finding the right cushion, kneeling stool or any device that can alleviate the pain. Some people (meditators) after a few days find themselves completely surrounded and supported by cushions: one under the right knee, one under the left, one to protect the back, and so forth. After a couple of days they look like soldiers of the first world war inside a trench! In retreat, if we pay attention and observe our sensations neither with panic nor with excitement, experiencing them with equanimity we will see how (contrary to our belief), pain in reality is much easier to handle than pleasure; because to pleasure we are addicted, to pain we are not. To pain we can get used to, to pleasure is more difficult. Being content, in reality, is more difficult than be patient. Therefore for the meditator the real enemy is not pain, but the craving for pleasure! The practice of Insight of the classic vipassana is also known as the path of purification. Restraining the senses is a purifying factor that makes one s life more peaceful and makes one more ready for meditation. For this we need a simplified life. The term purification in the insight practice is applied to this subduing of the mind and senses. You may have noticed that we are using the term purification not with regard to something already done that needs to be purified, but to something not yet arisen that needs to be prevented. There are seven stages of purification: 1. Purification of Conduct 2. Purification of Mind 3. Purification of View 4. Purification by Overcoming Doubt 5. Purification by Knowledge and Vision of what is the Path and what is not the Path 6. Purification by Knowledge and Vision of the course of Practice

3 7. Purification by Knowledge and Vision. Purification of Conduct refers to the practice of abstaining and restraining as mentioned above. It is also known as the 'purification of the beginning'. It is the purifying element of the mind that stops the wind of distractions, and it is also the prerequisite for a meditator to make progress. Purification of Mind means the ability of the mind to rest on any object, calm and tranquil without distractions for as long as one wishes, free from the five hindrances. Purification of the View means, insight into the true nature of the aggregates and the self. Purification by Overcoming Doubt means, eliminating doubt with regard to the interdependent nature of all phenomena. Purification by Knowledge and Vision of what is the Path and what is not the Path means, recognising what is just a temporary elimination of klesha as being a temporary elimination of klesha. Purification by Knowledge and Vision of the Course of Practice means, aligning the mind with the factors that leads to the complete elimination of klesha. Purification by Knowledge and Vision means, the realisation of the goal. The agitation and confusion that we experience particularly at the beginning of the practice is not caused by the difficulties of the practice or the lack of familiarity with the technique. Often It is due to the winds of distractions that are still blowing, making the mind agitated and confused. What is needed, to stop this wind that constantly blows and agitates the mind is good conduct, (Purified Conduct). In order to generate a clear awareness (that purifies the View), first one needs a stable mind (Purified Mind). Without a stable and concentrated mind the generation of a clear awareness would be very difficult. Like the flame of a candle in an exposed windy place cannot illuminate anything due to its constant flickering, similarly a flickering mind cannot illuminate anything unless external distractions are stopped (or Purified). Without effort one cannot generate mental stability. So before concentration we need to establish effort. What is effort then? Effort is an experience of hardships, and that s why to deal with the hardships we need patience, so patience precedes effort. Unless one trains in patience there is no way we can apply effort. As Buddha said: - The highest asceticism is patience, the real recluse is the one who is patient. Patience is the establisher of effort, while aspiration is its motivator. If the person suffers a lot, training in patience will be very difficult. To train in patience there shouldn t be too much suffering. So morality (a Purified Conduct) prepares the ground for this. As we have said above, morality/discipline is what cools and makes life less complicated less agitated, less confused, less unhappy. There is still suffering, still problems, but less. So training in patience is made easier. Less unhappiness is what a beginner should aim for. Morality/discipline is what provides that: less unhappiness. We are focused too much on happiness, obsessed with happiness. Lamas do talk of happiness and being happy. Buddha also in the sutras talks about, achieving happiness, but with a different meaning. When they talk about happiness they are not talking about fun, having a good time: a carefree life. The happiness that the

4 Buddha is talking about is the experience of non-unhappiness, or no-suffering. At the beginning, this is what one can aspire to. Aiming at happiness, can cause great disappointment. To be always happy in this human life is unrealistic. Take the Lamas for example. Are they always happy? If yes in what sense are they happy? When they receive bad news from Tibet, are they unhappy or just pretending to be sad? At the time of Buddha 30,000 people of the Shakya clan (his own clan) were killed. Was the Buddha,when he heard what had happened, pretending to be sad or was he genuinely sad? It is important to differentiate the way realised beings relate to the world, and the way they experience the world. The practice of Insight is based on the development of mindfulness (the purifying factor of the Mind). As Buddha said: I don t know another mental factor as powerful as mindfulness for the abandonment of unwholesomeness and the cultivation of virtues. There are different types of mindfulness: mindfulness in the context of morality: conscientiousness, mindfulness in the context of concentration: not forgetting the object, and mindfulness that is, and has, the characteristic of awareness: insight. Here the so called insight should not be confused with the ultimate nature. In the classic vipassana, insight is referring to the first of the eight-fold path: right understanding, understanding of dukkha and the four noble truth. Dukkha, which is normally translated as suffering, is not just the obvious physical and mental suffering associated with illness and the general complications of life. It is something more painful than that: it is the unsatisfactory, unstable, and selfless (insecure) nature of our existence. In accordance to buddhism our whole existence is dukkha. But this does not make buddhism a pessimistic religion, because dukkha is the diagnosis, not the opinion with regard to the treatment. In the practice of Insight, mindfulness (the purified Mind) is what makes the meditator see this dukkha. When in the retreat, one experiences boredom, dissatisfaction, the mind that wants to leave, that is questioning, cursing the time when you heard about the retreat and wishing to strangle the person who suggested it. When we wonder: What s the point! What am I doing here? When you are experiencing all these moods, this is when the practice actually begins. We have found a basis, a very solid basis: our samsara'. Boredom, dissatisfaction, fear, worries, frustrations and the rest of the everyday life s problems, that too is dharma, the dharma to be understood.

5 Buddhas and Arya bodhisattvas are often depicted sitting on a lotus flower. The lotus is something that grows in the mud, close to the mud, but is not stained by it. The Buddha sitting on the lotus flower symbolises that: close to the world but not affected by it; seemingly the mind of the person (the meditator) who begins to understand suffering There are different external and internal conditions for the practice of insight. The internal conditions for insight are the practice of discipline, mindfulness and so forth, and the external condition is cleanliness. Keeping one s body clean, wearing clean clothes and keeping the place where one meditates clean and neat. So at the place where one sits in the meditation hall there should be a simple cushion, with a shawl or blanket if one is cold, a notebook if one wants to write during the talk, and that s all. No bags and so forth, not only inside the hall but also you should not carry your bags during the breaks because that reflects an unsettled mind. So during the retreat it is very important to make the mind settled. One should feel settled, as if you are at home; and, as when you are at home you don t carry your bag around, so here too in the retreat you should feel relaxed and settled in the same way. In the retreats we also often see people carrying something, particularly bottles of water, the meditator s Teddy Bears. Some people always carry a small bottle of water wherever they go, not because they are actually thirsty. They are just bored and when they don t know what to do they drink! The purpose of retreat is not only to learn and familiarise with the meditation technique, it is also to observe one s mind moment by moment and recognise the deep rooted dissatisfaction that flavours all our experiences Next, the way one conducts oneself, particularly during the breaks. It is during the breaks that one has to be very careful because during the sitting and the walking, one is occupied with the practice, but during the breaks, that is the time when the mind is relaxed, and when the mind is relaxed it can be easily attacked by the klesa, the defilements. This is the time that the mind becomes vulnerable. Therefore one has to be constantly attentive and alert. When one is relaxed, all sort of pictures: home, family, children, work, relationships, etc, arise in one s mind. Then when you go back to the seat and see the cushion, you ll feel oppressed and unhappy. You have to drag yourself to the seat, it becomes painful, and the mind begins to wonder: what am I doing here? During the break the meditator stays in the present (meaning avoiding distractions) by being mindful of the sense objects. As Buddha mentioned in a sutra: Whatever you see, just sights, whatever you hear, just sound, whatever you taste, just taste, whatever you smell, just smell, whatever you touch, just touch, and whatever you think, just thoughts Next, when you hear the bell that marks the end of the session you should not get up immediately but wait. Pay attention, and notice the change. There is a change in the body and the mind the moment you hear the bell ringing, and you should notice that. You know it is over and you feel better. It is enough to just hear that sound to make you feel better physically and mentally. That sound is telling you that the pain is a conditioned experience. It is just enough to hear the sound of a bell for the unpleasantness to go! You see that it is not a concrete and solid pain, you realise that it does not dwell within you. What it is telling

6 you is that this pain is not in your bones and skin; you are not the container of the pain. You should rest on the experience of change, not just think: Thank god it's over! Then mindfully get up and stand. If you want to go outside you know I am going outside. If you have to go to your room, you know I am going to my room. If you have to go to the toilet, you know I am going to the toilet. You must know what you are going to do next, so that the mind is not confused. Then there is no confusion with regard to what to do. Normally we are afraid of discipline, but in the retreat we change this perception as we see the benefit and we see how it works. This is called Mindfulness with clear comprehension : walking mindfully and doing things attentively. The purpose is to strengthen the mental presence. It is very important, as much as you can, to be mindful of every single action. The moment you get up you are mindful of standing. When you open the door you are mindful of your hand reaching the handle of the door, mindful of the sensation of the touch, mindful of turning the handle, whether opening or closing, and so forth. Pay attention to all the bodily activities as well as the coming into contact with different objects Next, in Tibetan two words are used for retreat, nyen-ba and tsam-de. Nyen-ba means to get close approaching, which is mostly used in tantric retreats. For example, when you are doing a tantric retreat, the purpose is to get closer to the deity, or if you are familiarising with mantra you are getting closer to its speech. This term nyen-ba is also applicable to this type of retreat as the actual meaning of Satipathana is close placement of mindfulness, placing the attentiveness close to the experience. Tsam-de is the more general term for retreat, tsam means limit or border and de means dwelling, dwelling within the limit; not going beyond that. Physically one stays within the limits of the retreat place. During the breaks you walk, but not too far, you don t take your car and go somewhere and then come back. With the speech you don t go beyond silence. Silence of course doesn t mean simply not to talk, it means no distractions. No writing messages, particularly if one is staying in a dormitory or a double room. Try your best to avoid any chatting. The point is that you may feel a bit oppressed and you think that a few words will make you feel better. You think that this will help you, but on the long run it creates a lot of thoughts and therefore a lot of distractions and more dissatisfaction. So you should avoid any conversations. In retreat one tries to communicate with the one you have never communicated before ONESLF. So in the retreat one is trying to know oneself. This leads to staying within the limit mentally - being in the present. When there is mental presence then one can meditate. So, the retreat has three important aspects: discipline, silence and mindfulness.

7 One of the biggest obstacles that prevents staying within the limits is craving/desire. In the retreat desire puts on a different mask, particularly a mask of spirituality. When one is bored for example certain thoughts may arise, such as: Why not recite some mantras? What s wrong with that? or combining the practice with visualisations, or yoga? This happens when you can t stand any more the sitting and the demand of being mindful and concentrated. When one is training in mindfulness, learning how to be mindful, and fighting distractions, the spiritual wondering is also a distraction. Therefore you don t follow anything that encourages clinging. One has to be very careful and be constantly alert. Craving is always present in our mind and so it can also manifest as a holy object, a dharma object, but in reality it can just be not knowing what to do and so reciting some mantras. In the retreat you may notice a constant sense of waiting. When you are sitting you find yourself waiting for the sitting to be over, and during the break the same, you can t wait to start. The walking meditation balances the sessions and the breaks. The walking meditation, which is walking awareness, is something that we find in the early Buddhist tradition. There are many sutras that begin describing the Buddha walking up and down mindfully; after his meal, or before going on alms round or at other moments. There are also stories of realisations that occurred during or after the walking meditation. Buddha s attendant Ananda, for example, generated insight and the breakthrough just after walking meditation. In the walking meditation we find both quiescence and insight. The walking meditation makes the mind stable and awake. What is the purpose of the walking meditation? There are different purposes, but basically at the beginning the walking meditation helps to slow down the mind, and slowing down the mind helps to understand mind-moments. To us the mind appears as a solid, single, permanent entity. We may have a conceptual idea about the mind, but we don t have a clue what it really is! So, we can divide the walking awareness into three parts. The first part it is a brisk kind of walk, a bit fast, where one tries to keep the body balanced. Then you slow down and concentrate more on the details, lifting, placing; lifting, placing. So you are mindful of the lifting and the placing. You may notice then that when you have just finished placing, the lifting has already taken place. It is a very simple act and yet we are not fully aware of two simple steps. This shows how weak our mindfulness and our concentration is. Mindfulness is, the memory (sati) of what happened, (or if it is well developed, what has just

8 happened, or is happening). So in order to be mindful (to remember) things must have happened, we cannot just wait for things to happen, Something must happen in order to remember. Therefore you are not mentally anticipating, you are rather, attentive. Mindfulness it has six characteristics: 1 that which hold the object, 2 does not forget it, so, 3 no distractions, 4 no superficiality, 5 no confusion, 6 the ability to direct the mind to any object. In the practice of insight when we gather and put together all these characteristics, mindfulness ceases to be simply 'sati' (memory) and it becomes 'an observing power'. Still, with regard to the etymological meaning of sati 'memory'. Here memory it's not a past memory, but a very short past. Sati (memory) or more precisely 'reminiscence' does not means remembering something of the past (with the risk of being lost in the past), but it is the memory or reminiscence of what 'just' happened: "I've just been distracted!" This is the etymological meaning of 'sati'. With the walking meditation, first you are mindful of standing, then you start walking. Be mindful of lifting and placing as it happens. As you begin notice clearly the process of lifting, stretching, placing and touching that is the sign of one s mind becoming sharper and more present. If you are mindful of the lifting, stretching placing, touching, you ll come to see the gaps and spaces that take place in between these simple actions. If you are mindful enough, you will notice that the mind can get distracted even between those very short moments. You may notice that in between the lifting and the moving forward, which will take just a second, there is still time to be very distracted; the mind can go home, have an argument with your parents or partner, feel angry, come back, and the foot is not yet placed! So within this very short moment, a big distraction can take place, a story; and you remember it! Mindfulness it's not simply being present, as many people seems to teach mindfulness nowadays. Another purpose of walking meditation is to perceive and be aware of intention. This is extremely important, as intention is the agent of our actions (karma). Every single mental, physical and verbal action is preceded by intention. What is intention? Intention is not a thought, or a concept, it is the mental factor that moves the mind (and the body). The walking meditation is very good for recognising this important mental factor. We also see and recognise what intention is: that (the mental factor) which intend, not the self.

9 Again, with regard to discipline, we have the individual and the group discipline. In the retreat the group discipline is more important. When the group is together and welldisciplined the practitioner becomes very inspired and this is extremely important, because, as we have said above, inspiration is the establisher of effort, without which no improvement can take place. So, when the group sticks together and is well disciplined, it becomes very inspiring, and this benefits the individual enormously. For example, when visitors come around and see the meditators silent and subdued, often it happen that these people are very inspired and go to the office and express the wish to register for the next retreat. While those who are on retreat think: Never again! Those who are not doing the retreat see better the result of the group s effort because of not being involved, while the meditators because of being self-absorbed do not. Therefore it is important that the meditator, from time to time, steps back and reflects on the qualities and benefits of discipline. The Buddha said: As people wear ornaments to make themselves attractive, the meditator make him/herself attractive (inspiring) by wearing the ornament of discipline" With regard to expectation. Most of the problems: disappointment, irritation, confusion, anger (and often lung), that we experience in retreat are very much due to expectations. Expectation for the meditator is the worst enemy: the real Mara, that which, in the end turns into Godot - the never coming. There are two types of people who are affected by expectation: the one who is totally new to buddhism and the one who has done lots of studies. The one who is totally new will have expectations based on the many wonderful things he/she has heard about meditation; while the second type, his or her expectations will be based on the failure of previous studies in not producing any tangible results (experience). The shortcomings of expectations are that if the person is self-confident and nothing happens, then he/she will blame the method or the teacher, thinking: I am doing everything he told me but still nothing is happening. So one becomes disappointed and often angry. While the person with poor self-esteem and little confidence, when the expectations are not fulfilled, they tend to become discouraged and depressed. We need to recognise expectation (not suppress it) and let go. A common expectation is the attainment of bliss, peace, happiness, well-being and a life

10 without suffering. Often people come to the retreat with that strong expectation. But as a famous Tibetan lama said: Meditation is like an operation without anaesthetic. We cannot meditate (as a beginner) without pain, discomfort, tiredness and unpleasantness. Pain or unpleasantness at the beginning is unavoidable, and for the intelligent student it is actually very good, because when it is present, the mind can sit without many distractions, and you will realise this in time. Pain leaves little room for fantasy. While, somehow, when one feels comfortable, blissful and everything is going well, the mind (our mind) needs a straitjacket to calm down Another important aspect of the practice is faith. The Buddha said, Just as a burnt seed is unable to produce a seedling, likewise a mind devoid of faith is unable to cultivate anything wholesome. Faith has clarity and confidence as its characteristic. Faith doesn t simply mean to have a reverent attitude towards a holy image or being, but it should be understood as a mind capable of broadening and expanding one s understanding. Also, as faith deals with hidden (or unproved) phenomena, it has a strong element of courage, a willingness to try, to RISK. It causes aspiration which in turn establishes effort. So it is very important to be 'aware' of this mental factor when it manifests. Our main concern and effort at the beginning is not much on developing or generating the path (as this will take some time), but rather of being mindful and aware, in order to know what it is; how it feels with it present, and how it feels without it present. In the practice of insight we are not so much concerned with creating as you do for example in conceptual meditation, but rather with being aware, tasting the experience, knowing its nature. It is like drinking a soup, where everything in it is all mixed up. When we just look at it, what we see is only a kind of yellowish broth, we don t really know or see what is inside. To know, exactly, what is inside we need to drink, to taste it. In the same way trying to understand the mind only conceptually gives us a vague idea of what the mind is. We see only its superficial aspect. We can t really know what it is, what is made of. It is mindfulness that tastes clearly the ingredients (the mental factors). In retreat, when moments of faith and confidence arise, we are fully mindful, we feel it, taste it. Then, as we know it, and appreciate it, we strengthen and nourish it. When we experience that moment of confidence/faith we stay with it. When faith is not present, we don't become discouraged, but we are mindful: no faith. In this way we know how it feels without its presence. So we know clearly how it feels with and without. Therefore because we know its nature, we become more inspired. Same with the other mental factors. Then when we reach a certain level of mindfulness we begin to direct our attention to mindfulness itself, to know how it feels with mindfulness and how it feels without. There are times when we are mindful and times when we are not, so we know, Ah, that s mindfulness. The same when there is craving/desire, we are mindful. We are mindful when it is present, and when it has just passed. We are mindful of its absence and its presence, so we know: This is how it feels with craving, and without craving With regard to mind: what is mind? As it is said: Mind is not mind. All these things we have mentioned: faith, confidence, mindfulness, craving, anger, fear, worries, happiness, unhappiness, etc, they are all mind. There is not a mind as the container of these

11 experiences. The experience is the mind. Back to mindfulness. As I've said, etymologically mindfulness means memory, and in the context of the insight meditation it means observing power. The root of mindfulness is attention, something that we all possess: one of the cardinal functions of consciousness, without which there cannot be perception of any object at all. Mindfulness is the result of this important mental factor. So then, what is the characteristic of this attention? It is a bare, simple and naked attention, devoid of any projection, mental comment of like and dislike, judgement or 'reflection'. If comments and 'reflections' arise during the training, then they too are made the object of this bare attention. Observing things without commenting is not an easy thing. Neither comes naturally nor it is something we have been encouraged to cultivate. Whatever arises in our mind, whatever we experience; it is always accompanied by a comment, judgement or inner chatting; it is always what we think it is, what we like to be, never an experience of what simply is. Bare attention is the clear awareness of what actually happens to us. The basic awareness of successive moments of perception doesn't make any comment or judgement, it is our habitual tendency that mechanically colours and flavours our experience. Take thoughts for example. They just arise and pass, appear and disappear. But we normally think/feel: There are so many thoughts in my mind! I am full of thoughts, my mind is so crowded! As if the mind were a container with many thoughts inside. As if you can count them; as if there are a certain amount of them: a storeroom where all these thoughts are stored. If that were the case, then we could dig them out. But, when the winds have ceased and the waves subside, where do the waves go? Where do they sink? Do they really go somewhere? Is there a store place at the bottom of the ocean where the waves are kept for later times to manifest, or do they simply subside and get mixed with the water so that they just become water. There is no real coming or going of waves. They are just an occasional phenomena, there is no real place where to find them. The same applies to our thoughts. The so called past (from a buddhist point of view), is a dependent arising reality, that we know through associations, not because we go into it and dig them out, as if unearthing the bones of a dinosaur, or a lost treasure. Like in the case of an ocean which is totally calm and the waves are non-existent, the mind too that is totally calm and free of thoughts is exactly like a calm ocean. As with the ocean, when the waves arise it can be very terrifying (although they are not self-existent). Also the

12 mind, although thoughts and emotions are not self-existent, they can be very frightening and terrifying. What is the comfort or benefit of understanding this? For the intelligent person there is great benefit, because we have the idea that the emotions are there somewhere, even when they are not actively present. Let s say your problem is anger; you have an angry temperament, constantly getting angry. You would worry even when you are not angry, because you have this idea that something (my anger) is there waiting and going to pop up at any time, which is not true. This is not something that we know by just thinking. It is with the discipline of mindfulness/attentiveness that we have the opportunity to see this truth. In the commentaries, we read that, for example, the antidote to anger is compassion, loving-kindness and patience; the antidote to attachment impermanence, and so forth. But these are antidotes to be applied when that particular mental state is not present, they work as a prevention, because two states of mind cannot co-exist at the same time, one cannot be angry and patient or compassionate at the same time. If one has loving-kindness in one s mind, then there is no room for anger. If one is happy it is difficult to be angry. So these are antidotes that are applied when the particular mental state is not present. When the mind is neutral we create wholesome mental states that prevent the arising of unwholesomeness. But here, in the practice of insight we are dealing with the problem of the defilement already being present. When the defilement is already present such as anger for example, to generate love would be very difficult. If anger arises first, love has to wait. The point is, in that particular moment, when anger is already present, it is too late, we cannot generate compassion when angry. The antidote when the affliction is already present is mindfulness, awareness. But we are not saying that mindfulness alone has the power to eliminate or remove anger, because it is not a question of eliminating or removing. We are simply trying to stop the increasing and expanding of the negative mental state. This is the best thing we can do when we are facing an active defilement: stop the increasing. When increasing stops, decreasing begin. Therefore, when a certain mental state is present, you are mindful, sit with it, 'leave it as it is', stop engaging. What helps to stop the engaging is the labelling. When you find yourself, during the session, distracted, mentally label it: 'thinking, thinking'. If the distraction is about talking you label (mentally): 'talking, talking, talking', or 'wandering, wandering, wandering'. Whatever the distraction may be, you label it; and you will see that the moment you label it the story collapses. Labelling helps to interrupt the stream of distractions. Milarepa every time he found himself distracted uttered: Phat!, Phat! If you suddenly find yourself thinking about home and family, label it (mentally): 'home, home', 'family, family'. Then look at it; is the story continuing or has it stopped? It is also true that the more you are trying not to engage the more you realise how much you do engage! In the process of trying not to engage, that s what you discover, how much you do engage. The meditator normally when this happens gets discouraged. But for the intelligent person this is not at all discouraging, it is rather encouraging, because one is seeing the problem, seeing the addiction; and this is good.

13 Previously we have mentioned how craving/desire is constantly tempting us. No matter how many possessions one has, when the mind is possessed by desire the mind experiences a sense of poverty, it feels empty and poor. Craving-desire arises in dependence upon external and internal objects, as well as mundane or spiritual objects. At the beginning of the retreat one craves external objects; longing for people, family, conversations etc. But then the mind settles down and one feels comfortable. One begins to practice and then the object of craving changes. From mundane it turns to spiritual things; shamata, insight, bliss, peace, etc. So we begin experiencing spiritual poverty. Just as we experience mundane worldly poverty so we also experience spiritual poverty, which is even more painful! - No attainment, no realisations! In retreat we have to be careful we don t end up struggling with spiritual poverty. Often we see spiritual people being more unhappy than ordinary people. This is because they engage in spiritual practice with a materialistic purpose. Materialism doesn t necessarily mean to be interested in external things. Any mind that craves for something can be called materialistic Now, back to the actual practice. The objects of mindfulness are: the body, sensations, mind and the so called dharmas or mental objects. When we elaborate them they become 21 topics. There are 14 topics in the contemplation of the body, 2 others are sensation and mind, and then with the 5 mental objects all these together make 21. So these are the objects of mindfulness: our ordinary body, ordinary sensations and ordinary mind; what we experience in any given moment, here and now. The contemplation of body is for the sake of eliminating the misconception of beauty. The contemplation of feelings are for the sake of eliminating the misconception of happiness. The contemplation of mind is for the sake of eliminating the misconception of permanence. The contemplation of dharmas is for the sake of eliminating the misconception of self'. These four objects cover everything that exists; externally and internally. Another characteristic of mindfulness in the insight practice is knowledge, not in the sense

14 of an acquired thing, a conceptual gathering of information, but more like a 'clear awareness'. Imagine, for example, that we are living in a village or a town, and that we have spent many years there but because of being always busy and in a hurry, we are completely unaware of the characteristics and the beauty of this town. Then one day, having retired, we take a walk, relaxed and calm, and suddenly: Look what is here! A baroque church; a gothic building! I have never seen it!. So we come to 'know' of a church, a building: what has been there all the time, whether we knew it or not! This is the type of knowing one is talking about. The buddha nature does not come into existence the moment we see it. It is there even now, but we are too busy to see it We begin with the breath, a tangible, easier, concrete and solid object; easy to focus on. The breath is a phenomenon that changes, it is never the same, it is not uniform: it is long, short, fast, slow and so forth. The long breath for example, is associated with a comfortable mind. When we panic we take a long breath and we calm down. When we experience fear, anger or any other strong emotion, we take a long breath and we calm down, right? It makes the mind comfortable, relaxed. The fast and short breaths, for example, are associated with tension, agitation, fear and worries. So when we look at the breath we can be aware of the general situation of the mind. In the practice of insight you let the breath breathe. Letting the breath be for the sake of learning to let the mind be. In the tantric practice the connection of breath and mind is very well explained. In tantra for example, it s not so much the mind that one is working with, but rather the so called energy winds. It is the imbalance of the energy winds that, according to tantra, causes the mind to be agitated and defiled. So it is not so much the mind that one is trying to tame but the energy winds. So the breath and the mind are very connected. By calming the breath one calms the mind. As the breath adjusts the mind follows. First one is mindful of the sensation of the arising and falling of the abdomen. Then as one's concentration becomes stronger one observers the length of the breath: long and short of the incoming and out-going breath. Then as the concentration deepens and one's mindfulness become even stronger, one observes the beginning, the middle, and the end of each breath whether long or short. If while practicing stabilising breath awareness nothing particularly happens, nothing strong or disturbing arises, remain on the breath. If the disturbance is weak, then keep 70-80% of the attention on the breath, just notice the distraction but stay on the breath. The same applies to pain, if the pain is not that strong you are mindful of the pain but your main attention stays on the breath. If the pain becomes stronger, then that becomes the object, and then you label (mentally) - 'pain, pain, pain'. In this way you prevent going into it, engaging. But when we say that becomes the object, it doesn t mean that one focuses on it, one is simply mindful, trying not to generate aversion. Pain has a certain characteristic: it is either piercing like, burning like, tearing like or stubbing like. What we call pain could be a burning, stubbing, tearing or piercing type of sensation, it's not just pain. Then it could be increasing or decreasing. If it is increasing, is it increasing rapidly or increasing slowly? So one breaks up the pain until it becomes just a flow of vibration arising and passing; no longer a tangible, concrete pain. When we are observing the characteristics of pain we are also implementing the second of the seven factors of enlightenment, investigation: silently observing what is taking place. If it happens to be a light pain one remains on the breath and simply notes the pain. If the pain gets stronger, then one 'observes' it as just

15 mentioned. If it becomes stronger still, then adjust the posture. So, first look and see what type of pain it is. If it is a light one, it may just pass without disturbances. If it is stronger, investigate. Most of the pain you experience in the sitting is due to lack of familiarity with the sitting because, as you know, the moment you hear the bell, the moment you get up, the pain disappears. Often it is like that. When there is pain or numbness for example, people worry, Am I going to be crippled for the rest of my life? Of course it is not that the longer you sit the less pain you experience, that is not always the case. Rather it is that the more you sit the more you get used to the pain, which means the pain is there but doesn t bother you. So the more you sit the more you get used to the uncomfortable feeling. When you eat a hot type of food for example, the first time it is unbearable, but then when you get used to the chilli hot feeling you are no longer bothered. Getting use to the chilli doesn t mean the hot sensation is no longer there. It is still there, exactly like the first time you had it, but now it doesn t bother you. Pain just comes and goes. It comes uninvited and it goes without anyone telling it to go. Sleepiness too, is not waiting for the moment you sit down to attack, as if waiting for the right moment to sink into your body. There are many ways to approach pain. The problem, as you know, is not the pain but the fear. We are afraid of pain because we perceive it as something harmful like an enemy. We should generate a friendly relationship with the pain instead of aversion. Normally we sit with aversion thinking: I hope pain doesn't come, so I can meditate. It is important to have a bit of curiosity and welcome the pain. The more you are afraid the more difficult it becomes. Having adopted the attitude of welcoming the problem, one should not then think that the obstacles have arisen because I welcomed them! Things as we know arise due to causes and conditions, not because they themselves decide to arise. The best way to approach sleepiness and pain is by being interested, the moment you sit generate the thought: If it comes I will watch it". Or if you want to be more courageous, think: Alright, come! I am ready, here I am! Most probably they won t come! To show this more clearly, let s say you are struggling. Let s say you are distracted, very distracted. You are trying to bring the mind to the present but it doesn t listen. Still you try and try, and try. At a certain point, at the point when you are becoming a bit tense, at that particular moment tell the mind: "alright! go!" See whether it goes. The mind is very much like a child. If you tell him not to do it he ll do it, and if you tell him to do it, he won t do it! The more we force the mind the more it will rebel. The mind has its own life and you should 'respect it'. We cannot control the mind the way we normally do. For example if I now say: be angry"! You wouldn't know how! When we are angry it seems as if anger spontaneously decides to be angry. But as we can see, in order to become angry we need something or someone to make us angry! There is not an independent anger that exist independently With regard to distractions due to conceptuality, again, when thoughts are few, stay on the breath, and just be mindful of the breath. If there are many and overwhelming, then let them arise but do not engage. If they are many but not overwhelming, focus on just one thought. As there are many thoughts, many images, focus on one. Since we cannot have two objects in the mind at the same time, when we focus on one, the rest disappear. Like for example when you are in a party with many people and you are interested in just one person, and you have a conversation with just that one. As you concentrate more and more

16 on that person the rest of the other people disappear. Isn t that the case? Similarly, as there are many thoughts, focus on one, the rest will disappear, and that one too will eventually pass. Again with regard to pain. The ability to bear or not the pain depends on a good reflection. As we know, when we have a headache for example, we normally think: if I had a toothache I would, probably, handle it better. And when we are experiencing a toothache we think: Oh, if it were a headache I m sure I would handle it better! But as we know, whatever the pain, big, small, or different, we just can t handle it. Whether small or big, as long we are afraid of it, and don t try to make use of it by training in patience, we are bound to suffer. Patience is a quality that arises in dependence upon a good reflection. As Shantideva said: If something can be remedied why worry? And if it cannot be remedied what is the use of being worried? Only when we are undergoing real pain can we understand and experience the truth of this verse. We cannot understand this statement by just feeling good with the impact it has when we first read it. That is just a catch phrase'. Two things are needed to train in patience: the presence of pain, and remaining cool. If when sitting you are experiencing pain, and it happens that you are mindful, then reflect in this way. First use Shantideva s first two lines: if something can be remedied., then reflect: If by just adjusting my posture the pain goes away, why worry? (then, Shantideva s other two lines) "And if it cannot be remedied...? Reflect: "If the pain does not go away even by adjusting, what is the use of being worried? It will simply increase my suffering. Having eliminated the panic (not the pain) continue your reflection now with the following meditation. Imagine yourself, the complaining and lamenting one in front of yourself, on your left side; the one who has been lamenting throughout the session: What is happening to me! I am in pain, it's unbearable! What s going on and so forth. Then imagine a group of people, people who have being struck by some dreadful diseases, or have been involved in, for example, a natural disaster, who have lost their loved ones, themselves are injured, perhaps, also poor, sick and so forth. A real desperate case. Visualise those people in front of you, on your right side. Then you, the meditator, sitting on your meditation cushion. Look at the one on the left and those on the right and ask to yourself: Who is really worthy of concern, the one on the left or those on the right? Keep this contemplation just at the level of simply observing without speculating too much. Just let your heart feel.

17 Back to the object of mindfulness. As I have said, the four objects of mindfulness when elaborated makes 21 topics. With regard to the body we have; 1 breath awareness, 2 the bodily posture: standing, sitting, lying down and walking, 3 mindfulness with clear comprehension. Mindfulness of clear comprehension means being mindful of the various activities: walking, washing, cleaning, bending, stretching, opening the door, closing it behind, etc. Being mindful of the various activities increases mindfulness. What makes mindfulness stronger, clearer, sharper and stable it is exactly this: mindfulness with clear comprehension. Then the other topics of the body are: 4 mindfulness or contemplation of the four elements, 5 the foulness of the body and 6 the contemplation of the nine cemeteries. Among the 21 topics, the breathing awareness, contemplation of the foulness of the body and the nine cemeteries, can lead to the attainment of jhanas, absorptions. The foulness of the body meditation is a contemplation of the bodily parts. There are 32 parts in our body: beginning with the hair, the skin, the flesh, the bones, etc. Traditionally one would repeat/ recite them for 165 days, then mentally again for 165 days. After the oral and mental recitation, one contemplates them in terms of direction, shape, colour etc. The meditator contemplates each part of the body individually: hair, skin, bones, blood, urine, pus, the stomach etc. individually and by themselves. Every single part of the body when taken by itself is perceived clearly as it is: repulsive (in the sense of unappealing) and unattractive. When the term repulsiveness is used with regard to the contemplation of the foulness of the body, it does not (or should not) lead to the perception of our body being something disgusting and abominable, but should produce a feeling of dispassionateness and non-attachment. When attachment is stopped, agitation and restlessness subsides and this makes the mind completely calm. When the mind is calm (really calmed down) the meditator finds sense objects gross and he or she naturally wishes to withdraw and keep the mind inside. The nine cemeteries is an investigation/contemplation of the decomposing process of the corpse. This in the past was done with a real corpse, left on charnel grounds for days and

18 weeks, where monks were encouraged to go and spend time observing the decomposing process throughout the various stage of the breaking up of the body until the corpse becomes just bones and pieces of flesh. With regard to this meditation, at each stage the person think: My body is not different from this one. This is what will happen to my body as well. Just as this corpse is repulsive and foul so is this body of mine. There is no reason why it will not happen to me. If we ask what produces mental activities, the restless and agitated mind, the answer is attachment. Through meditation on death, like the one above, the meditator causes attachment to stop.these two meditations: the foulness of the body and the nine cemeteries, helps to stop, to cool attachment to the extent that the mind can totally withdraw inside and bring the experience of absorption The second object of mindfulness is feeling or sensation. There are three types of feelings pleasant unpleasant and neutral. Whenever we see, touch, taste, hear, smell or think we generate a sensation/experience. What is feeling? (I alternate the word feeling with sensation to avoid confusion, as feeling in the West is often associated with emotion, and here feeling is not that). It is that which feels. For us feeling appears to be the object felt, but from the point of view of the yogic experience, feeling is that which feels. A question often is asked. Who is the experiencer? Who feels? Who is attentive? Who is distracted? Who is angry? In accordance to the insight of the Abhidharma, it is the mind that experiences the world not the self. In the Vipassana system of early buddhism one begins to understand that the experiencer is not the I but the mind. Then when one moves to the Mahayana, (Mahamudra) one begin to question the mind as well. When one analyses the mind, as one does in the Mahamudra system for example, then the mind too ceases to be the experiencer. It becomes 'just experience' 'basic impersonal awareness'. Then this basic awareness, when it is identified and analysed with the observing power of mindfulness (which by this time is not any longer just sati but discriminative knowledge), this basic awareness too eventually is found to be empty; empty of any particular identifiable characteristic.