Commentary in Deductively Structured Expository Essays. Vickie C. Ball, Harlan High School

Transcription

1 Commentary in Deductively Structured Expository Essays 1

2 What we ve learned thus far about constructing an outline for an expository essay: 2

3 1. The most important sentence in the entire essay is the (which lets the reader know the opinion you re going to prove). 3

4 1. The most important sentence in the entire essay is the central idea (which lets the reader know the opinion you re going to prove). 4

5 1. The most important sentence in the entire essay is the central idea (which lets the reader know the opinion you re going to prove). 2. The second most important sentence in the entire essay is the (which tells the reader the reasons for your opinion or how you re going to prove your opinion is accurate). 5

6 1. The most important sentence in the entire essay is the central idea (which lets the reader know the opinion you re going to prove). 2. The second most important sentence in the entire essay is the thesis statement (which tells the reader the reasons for your opinion or how you re going to prove your opinion is accurate). 6

7 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the, which must include a transition, a hook to the, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 7

8 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the topic sentence, which must include a transition, a hook to the, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 8

9 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the topic sentence, which must include a transition, a hook to the, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 9

10 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the topic sentence, which must include a transition, a hook to the central idea, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 10

11 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the topic sentence, which must include a transition, a hook to the central idea, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 4. Within the body paragraph, concrete (facts, expert opinions, statistics) must support the point from the thesis with which you re dealing. 11

12 3. The first sentence of any body paragraph in a deductively-structured essay is the topic sentence, which must include a transition, a hook to the central idea, and the point from your thesis with which you will deal in that paragraph. 4. Within the body paragraph, concrete details (facts, expert opinions, statistics) must support the point from the thesis with which you re dealing. 12

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14 Each detail sentence should be accompanied by multiple sentences of commentary. 14

15 When you write commentary, you are commenting on a detail you have used to make a point. Commentary allows the reader to see how you connect the detail to your central idea. When you re writing commentary, always ask yourself the following question: How does my detail support my opinion in the central idea? 15

16 Here are some synonyms (words that mean the same thing) for commentary: analysis interpretation insight evaluation explication discussion speculation 16

17 4. Commentary can be a difficult skill to master because all the analysis and interpretations must come from you. Teachers cannot supply the information you will need to write commentary. It is up to you think of some original, individual statements to make about your details and examples. 17

18 5. Be careful not to add additional, separate details for commentary. Commentary is an (a folding-out) of a detail you ve already established as support for your central idea. 18

19 5. Be careful not to add additional, separate details for commentary. Commentary is an explication (a folding-out) of a detail you ve already established as support for your central idea. 19

20 NO COMMENTARY Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. No signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. In addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn t read the exit sign until I started passing them. To make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us were allowed to pass him. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind. 20

21 COMMENTARY Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. No signs were visible from the freeway, so I couldn t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. I panicked at the thought of being stranded alone in a strange place. I kept hoping to see a station materialize in the fog and couldn t make up my mind what to do.in addition, it was 12:00 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn t read the exit sign until I started passing them. I realized I had driven on for hours, dreading the never-ending blurring lines on the horizon. I had 21

22 been expecting the weather to lift suddenly and let me get back on schedule.to make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the next thirty minutes, and none of us were allowed to pass him. It was as though an invisible force field had been thrown up behind the patrol car. No one felt brave enough to dare going around him, and so we sulked behind him for what seemed like hours. When I finally reached Sacramento that day, a great sense of relief permeated my body and mind." 22

23 No Commentary Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by public officials because of their violence and themes. Critics complain about coyotes jumping off cliffs, of dogs and cats blackening each other s eyes, and Martians spying on earth and making plans to destroy it. These same animals battle over birds, carrots, or the right to a hole in the ground. Finally, when the fights are over, the most violent person often gets food, toys, or candy as a reward. Children s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week. 23

24 Commentary Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by public officials because of their violence and themes. Critics complain about coyotes jumping off cliffs, of dogs and cats blackening each other s eyes, and Martians spying on earth and making plans to destroy it. This violence may be realistic, but there is no accompanying realistic blood, pain, or mutilation. These scenes emphasize destruction and winning through physical harm to others. These same animals battle over birds, carrots, or the right to a hole in the ground. The theme of these actions greed and selfishness is not appropriate for young children. The wrong values are encouraged and 24

25 children do not see any examples of peaceful resolution to problems. Finally, when the fights are over, the most violent person often gets food, toys, or candy as a reward. The idea that showing greed or inflicting pain is rewarded in any way, large or small, is a subtly distasteful message. If children see this behavior being successful on television, they have no reason not to try it themselves. Children s programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week. 25

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