The Power of Transformation by Mark Hayes United Church of Christ, Midland, MI November 16, 2014

Transcription

1 The Power of Transformation by Mark Hayes United Church of Christ, Midland, MI November 16, 2014 I m very grateful to be here at United Church of Christ because it feels like home to me. Even though I don t know all of you, you have welcomed me into your spiritual community several times and I thank you for that. This morning I have been asked to share some of my spiritual journey. I hope it s enlightening and that you resonate with things I ve learned and with some of my struggles. The older I get, I understand that there is more that unites us than separates us if we are willing to see it. Several years ago a pastor explained one way to think about spiritual growth and it was a most valuable lesson for me. As we start out in life, we may initially need a religion that is black and white, with clear-cut ideas of right and wrong, much like we needed rules to protect us when we were children. Eventually we grow out of that phase and strike out on our own, experimenting, questioning, and rejecting some of our original beliefs. That can be a scary time. Finally we move into a mature spirituality, which allows us to have an authentic belief system that works for us. We also allow others to have their own belief system and do not need for theirs to be the same as ours. We have a big enough idea of God that we can trust others to find God on their own terms. Many of you here at UCC resonate with that and that s why I feel safe and welcome here. It feels really good to me not be in charge of other people s spirituality. I have enough to deal with on my own. I didn t always have such an enlightened view of spiritual things. I was raised in a Southern Baptist church where everything was pretty black and white. My story this morning is about my transformation. Everyone faces something in life sooner or later that makes him or her question what they truly believe. For me it was my sexuality. The message I got from the church of my youth and early adulthood said, in so many words, that I was an abomination to God because I was gay. As a gay man, my faith in God was very important to me. For the first 39 years of my life, I could not accept my sexual orientation, so I was closeted. I was trying to follow Jesus, but the church told me that I was innately flawed. I struggled for many years 2014 Mark Hayes. All Rights Reserved.

2 2 with this tension between being a good Christian and the desires I had for a samesex relationship. I felt like if I came out and pursued a relationship, my whole career in the Christian music industry would be destroyed. My music was my only source of income and a huge part of my identity, so this was no small matter. I was told Jesus could make me straight if I prayed hard enough and really wanted it, so I attended an ex-gay ministry group for 3 years and went through lots of therapy. Nothing happened except more frustration and self-judgment. I remember vividly when this all came to a head. I went to a healing prayer service at my church one Sunday night. I was in a very low spot in my life. I was feeling depressed and hopeless and wondered if changing my sexuality was even possible. I went forward for prayer and our pastor s wife, Karen, heard a word specifically for me from Mother God, the feminine voice of God. She said, My child, I have been waiting for you to come to me for so long. I love you just as you are. There is nothing I would change about you. What I heard that evening was like a drink of fresh water and almost felt too good to be true. It was a decidedly different message than what I had heard in church my whole life. I was at a crossroads, a point of decision that would grow my faith or diminish it. Could I truly believe that God loved me as a gay person and that I was not inherently flawed because of my sexual identity? I chose to believe in a God that would love me just as I am, even as a gay man. It felt simple to make that choice, but it was quite another thing to change my internal thinking and live as this new person. Remember our scripture for today. Romans 12:2 says, Do not be conformed to this world, but continuously be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you may prove what God s will is, what is proper, pleasing and perfect. For me, not conforming to the world meant not conforming to the negative theology about homosexuality I had believed. It meant not being afraid of what Christian publishers might say if they found out I was gay. It meant not believing the negative self-talk that I had fed myself Transforming my mind meant believing in a God that loves me unconditionally, that created me as a gay man with a creative soul and a sensitive spirit. It took courage to embrace my sexuality as a gift from God, but it was the best thing I have ever done. Recently Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, publicly spoke about his sexuality for the first time. He said, "I'm proud to be gay, and I consider being gay among the greatest gifts

3 3 God has given me." This was the CEO of a Fortune 500 company talking. I could not agree more. We all have a masculine and feminine side to us. I believe that creative, feminine side of me is what helps me write beautiful music. It s part of my muse, my source of inspiration. Loving that sensitive, creative, gay part of me has helped me be a better composer and arranger. My sexuality is no longer a liability. It is a gift from God. I believe that my spiritual journey is a fluid one. I have some very strong beliefs about God and the meaning of life right now, but I expect that they may change ten years from now. I hope they do. That doesn t mean I ve lost my faith. It means I understand more of the mystery of God. I used to believe that God was a man in the sky with a long white beard whose love was not always unconditional. I could do things that would piss him off! Now I believe that God is a presence, a spirit that dwells everywhere, especially inside of me. Genesis tells us that we are created in God s image and God called that good. There is a spark of divinity in each of us. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. In the last several years, I have chosen to live out of my divinity instead of my humanity. I am not in any way saying that I am equal to God, but I do know that I am an expression of God every day to the extent that I affirm that divine presence within. It makes a huge difference in how I live. We ve all been around people who live in a glass half empty world, haven t we? The mind is a very powerful thing. Some people believe that life happens to them. They live in a victim mentality. Something bad happens, and they believe that God is punishing them or somehow they caused their misfortune. I believe that Life simply is. Life happens. Things change. Or we could say, Shift happens. What I do with what comes my way is my choice. If I choose, I can always find the good in what is happening. I used to delight in telling my liberal friends about how fundamentalist churches had cancelled concerts on me when they found out I was gay or how Christian publishers blacklisted me. I would get lots of sympathy and it made me feel special and better than the good Christians who judged me. The trouble with that is that I allowed myself to be defined by those people who judged me. Frankly their opinions about me say more about them than me. The more I told my story, the more that story became my truth, that I was a victim. I finally realized that was no way to live my life. I can t change any of the things that happened to me in the past, but I can choose to find the good in them and know that I have the power to define myself.

4 4 I love the last part of Romans 12:2 because it says, so you will be able to know the perfect will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect. I used to think the will of God was harsh and something that caused suffering. At the very least, it wasn t fun. It was all about denying myself. This scripture tells me that God desires for me to experience the will of God as good, pleasing and perfect. As I dwell on God s spirit within me, God s thoughts become my thoughts. As I dwell on all that is true, pure, right, lovely and noble, my life reflects that. I live out of a sense of gratitude. And guess what, the universe responds by giving me something more to be grateful for. It s called the law of attraction. We attract what we dwell on. What we perpetually think about shows up in our life. That s why I no longer believe or tell myself that being gay is wrong. I celebrate who I am. I have a wonderful partner named Mike. We ve been together 16 years. I never imagined I could have such a healthy, loving relationship because I told myself that was bad and wrong. There s a saying I love, Change your thinking. Change your life. Now lest you think it s all just about positive thinking, that s not true. I believe that we all are filled with divine potential. The very heart and mind of God lives within us through God s spirit. But that does nothing for us unless we recognize it, cultivate a relationship with it, believe that power is good and it is there for us to use for our highest good and to be a beneficial presence in the world. We co-create our lives with God every moment of the day. We are constantly making choices. Are we making them out of our God-self, that divine part of us that is perfect, whole and complete in the eyes of God? Or are we living with regrets and failures of the past, limiting ourselves with negative talk? My life is rich in so many ways. I ve traveled the globe conducting and performing my music for thousands of people. I just received a contract to guest conduct at Carnegie Hall again in The fear that my career would dry up if I came out as a gay man was unfounded. If anything, my career has flourished beyond my wildest dreams. As I trust God with my future, nothing can harm me. I trust that everything I experience is part of the divine plan that is my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, I know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. For me, it all boils down to whom do I believe God to be. God is no longer this judgmental man in the sky who I can never hope to please. God is a presence, a spirit, a loving power that lives inside of me. God wants to give me the desires of my heart. I get to express the light and love and beauty of God uniquely as Mark Hayes. You, too, get to express God in your own unique way. We don t need another Mark

5 5 Hayes or Mother Teresa or whomever. The world needs you to be the divine soul that you are, to say no to the false beliefs and thoughts that keep you bound. Let them go, stand in your strength. Express your divinity, however Spirit nudges you to do that. As I have come to UCC over the years I ve experienced your divinity in the way you tackle tough social issues, the way you let go of your fear and embrace an even bigger idea of God. You are a light in this city. I affirm that divine spark within you. You are a body of believers who models inclusivity and radical compassion. I wrote a song that uses the word Namasté. It comes from an ancient language called Sanskrit. It is spoken as a greeting in the country of India. People often put their hands together and bow as they say it. It means, The divine in me blesses and honors the divine in you. I want to sing this song to you as I close today. I ve given you a lot to think about. But for now, I invite you to know how pleased God is with you. You are created in the image of the divine. Nothing can separate you from that. Take it in. Receive this gift. Sing Namasté. To purchase a CD containing Namasté, go to: To purchase sheet music for Namasté, go to: