You could join me in questioning my wisdom in that. What about a nice gentle start? Maybe we could start with something easy to talk about?

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1 Confession Using this booklet These little booklets are given to you to work through with the others you are praying with. There is some text and explanation, to give you some context for your conversations. But the key part is the questions. These are placed in boxes, with space for you to write notes if you find that a helpful way to focus. The fun and life and growth of this is in the conversations. This is just a tool to help you to have life-giving, supportive and challenging conversations. [There s no test at the end of Lent!!] Intro When I set out to put together our series on spiritual disciplines, I invited a few preachers to choose the topics they had a passion for and then worked the dates around their availability. This might explain why we re diving straight into the deep end with our first spiritual discipline: Confession. You could join me in questioning my wisdom in that. What about a nice gentle start? Maybe we could start with something easy to talk about? But confession is actually a great place to start if we are to take hold of the call of God to submit to him and to be honest and open with one another. I m not saying confessing our sins to others is easy, if it is, then I suggest we re not doing it right! But it is a mark of humility and maturity; in fact it is the route to reach those goals.

2 What is confession? To confess your sins, is simply to articulate to another human being the things you can recognise, which you have done wrong. Before talking about how we can do that, I want you to explore together two key aspects of that definition. What does, the things you have done wrong mean? Why do we find this so hard? Culture has changed and we live in a world which has become so confused about right and wrong, that I feel it worth clarifying. For some of us, our notion of right & wrong is based on legalistic religion which we ve inherited second hand, rather than the Bible. To understand the value of confession, we need to understand what the Bible means by sin. It s not a word that s in vogue, in fact it s a word that has ended up carrying huge amounts of misunderstanding, hurt and negative reactions in our society. In January 2018, former Lib Dem leader, Tim Farron, was interviewed by Premier Radio and said this: "In the end, if you are a Christian you have a very clear idea of what sin is. It is us falling short of the glory of God, and that is something all of us equally share But if you are not a Christian, what does sin mean? It is to be accused of something, to be condemnatory, and so we are talking different languages. He highlighted brilliantly that the way the word sin is used in wider culture is very, very different from the understanding in the Bible. In wider culture and newspaper headlines, the word sin carries the baggage of being attacked and condemned by someone judging another. In the Bible, there is the recognition that we have all sinned and that it isn t the end of the story. One way Paul describes sin is in Romans 3v23: All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. To sin, is to fall short, to not reach the fullness of what we were created for, it is to not live in accordance with who God designed us to be. Whilst there s a huge allergy in our culture to being labelled a sinner,

3 the reality is most of us recognise that none of us have walked in the fullness of being made in God s image. What does the word sin mean to you? How was that word used in your family growing up? What does the Bible say about sin? [Read Romans 3v10-23 & Exodus 20v3-17 & Ephesians 2v1-3] Different types of sin There are different ways that people hear and picture what I m talking about. Some will think immediately of outwards actions, for example: lying, betraying, greed, breaking the law, violence, gossip, disobeying God s guidelines for sex, or destructive addictions. Others, will consider subtler, root sins, the attitudes and mindsets which are not part of God s kingdom, for example: pride, deceiving ourselves, bitterness, critical attitudes, etc. When it comes to confession, we might approach these differently. When you hear the word sin, which do you think of - outward actions or rooted attitudes?

4 There s no two ways about it. Confessing our sins is really hard, it requires both humility and honesty with ourselves and others. It actually feels painful. Why? What makes confessing our sins to one another hard? Condemnation and Conviction One key reason that its hard is because we emotionally battle condemnation, rather than conviction. Condemnation Focuses on sin Is about how awful the sin is Define ourselves as sinners Leads to being stuck in sin & feeling powerless Rubs our noses in our mess Is the work of the enemy Conviction Focuses on restoration Is about the beauty of forgiveness Define ourselves as beloved children Leads to restoration and being empowered by God Lifts our faces up to look at the face of God Is the work of the Holy Spirit

5 Condemnation is the work of the enemy, the accuser, who rubs our noses in our sin and makes us look down at ourselves on what we have done wrong and believe: I ve done wrong, so I am bad. The opposite is true with the conviction of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit comes to lift our faces up, to look to God not ourselves and see our sins in the bigger picture of God s kindness. What we hear from the Holy Spirit is: You were made for better than this - what you ve done doesn t fit with who you are, so come and receive forgiveness, let s sort this. Another way to look at this, is to consider condemnation and conviction as part of a story. Condemnation tells us that we re at the end of the story, the judgement is made, we are guilty and condemned, the end! Conviction, places what we ve done in the middle of the story. We are convicted - to help us come back to relationship with God, to be reconciled. Conviction doesn t end the story, it opens up a new chapter, the joy of being forgiven. Blame culture Confession isn t normal in our world, partly because we live in a blame culture. The immediate reaction to negative experiences for many can be the desire to find someone else to blame, to find fault in others rather than look to resolve how we have fallen short. We use blame as a tool to defend and justify ourselves. We avoid the pain of recognising our own mistakes, regrets and sin, by finding someone else to criticise. Can you think of an example you have experienced recently when you ve seen someone jump immediately to blame, rather than choose to look at how they fell short?

6 Learning the value of confession Confession is a key step into maturity and freedom. Confessing our sins doesn t make them more powerful in our lives, but reduces the grip it has on us. When we share with another person the things we know we ve done wrong - by talking about it, by recognising it, we place ourselves in a position to be forgiven by God. What happens to the place a repeated sin has in your life, once you re able to be honest about it? How can we build confession into our lives? 1. Emotional honesty Confession begins when we get past blame and we re willing to be honest with ourselves. This is perhaps the biggest and hardest step. We don t like to look at what we ve done wrong, we hate to think we ve hurt someone and it hurts to think that I might not be as wonderful as I think I am. So the first step is to stop burying our sins, mistakes, regrets, faults and negative attitudes under whatever we ve used to try and ignore them. 2. Trust To confess, is to make myself vulnerable. To admit to myself and to someone else the things I d rather not talk about. We also know that when we recognise our faults, we feel powerless. Most of us don t live on moral high ground, but we know that there s a sense of weakness and fear when we admit we ve done wrong. We have to face that concern that we ll be rejected, or judged or that we ll lose face.

7 To confess, is a choice based on trust. It s like open heart surgery. If the person we confess to is careless, unkind or betrays us, it can cause huge damage. So with those you are working this through with, what can you do in your friendships as they are right now, to build that trust? What agreements do you want to make to honour one another? 3.Grace Confession is hideous, without grace! But because Jesus paid the penalty for our sins, we are not in a law court, but in a friendship where we can hear the truth that we re forgiven and if necessary find help to go and sin no more. The things we confess do matter, but God s grace and love and forgiveness is greater. How can you help one another to receive God s forgiveness? If this is the first time you are meeting as a group to pray, then it may be too soon to dive into confession. How can you work towards building accountability into your friendships?

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