A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger.

Transcription

1 A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger. Day 1 Internal Injuries Unforgiveness is an internal trauma that can easily go undetected, buried beneath the disguises of external smiles and laughter. We pour ourselves on othersʼ needs instead of tending to the surgery we need ourselves. Are you more prone to care for others than to examine and tend to your own spiritual needs? If so, how does this manifest itself in your life? Rather than always spending your time trying to fix others, look deeply and consider what could be festering inside your own heart. Do you have a problem with forgiveness? 14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrew 12:15 This resentment can affect every aspect of your life. Take a few moments to look within your heart; can you think of someone you need to forgive? Can you see this resentment affecting your life?

2 Forgiveness may not be an area of concern for you right now, but hang in there because this resolution will most likely be beneficial to your life at some point. Letʼs examine ourselves. Because if we do, we could be on our way to healing. Are you more prone to care for others than to examine and tend to your own spiritual needs? Who, if anyone, are the people you harbor un-forgiveness toward? How have you seen this affect your life? Grab your Bible and choose one passage to read and study of forgiveness. Mark 11:25-26 making reconciled relationships a regular part of your praying. Matthew 6:14-15 how our forgiveness of others relates to Godʼs forgiveness of us. Hebrew 12:14 - the blessing that flows from pursuing peace with everyone. Bitterness Ephesians 4:31 - the only good thing to do with it is to get rid of it. Hebrew 12:15 - what bitterness can do if its not pulled up by the roots Proverbs 14:10 - all we can ever expect from hanging on to it.

3 A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger. Day 2 All Clear Choosing to forgive is a lot like pressing the delete key on our computers, backspacing over the accidents and unacceptable actions that have been written on the pages of our lives. What does forgiveness look like to you? Forgiveness means making the decision to move forward and create our next chapters without having to incorporate the spoiled residue of the last ones. If there any unforgiving that continues to be written into your life even though its from the past? Forgiveness is a one-time decision followed by an ongoing series of smaller yet equally important daily decisions to continue forgiving, releasing the desire to hang on to what was done. Have you made that one time decision to forgive, but had problems sticking to it? By forgiving daily you are choosing to end it! You know its the right thing to do, even if its the last thing you feel like doing. Prayerfully consider: If there is something or someone you need to forgive. Pray on it and record what God shows you.

4 As hard as it is to forgive what others have done to us; some of the most difficult forgiving will be the wrongs we inflict upon ourselves. Why do you think its harder to forgive ourselves than others? I think we can all relate to the need to forgive ourselves, but feeling as though we do not deserve it or we just don't know how. Maybe you had an abortion years ago. Maybe you caused an accident, maybe you missed an opportunity that has cost you more money, heartache, and regret than you even want to think about. So how do we forgive ourselves? You cant do it, nobody can. The capacity to forgive yourself is personally impossible. Where in the Bible does it say we need to forgive ourselves? The Bible doesn't tell us to forgive ourselves. Insert Romans 3:23-26

5 A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger. Day 3 All Clear Continued... Forgiveness of your sins is something that Christ suffered, a terrifying death to give you. And His work was so complete, He is thereby able to promise and declare to you and me, I will forgive their wrongdoing and never again remember their sin. (Jeremiah 31:34) Describe how you feel after reading this scripture... He pressed the delete key over every sin youʼve even committed. And He Himself chooses never to recall your misdeeds to mind again, not with the intent of punishing you for them. If Christ Jesus already erased our sins and we have been forgiven; why do you think we cant forgive ourselves? How do you think this reflects the gift God gave to us? Only through the gracious acceptance of the gift extended to you through Christ Jesus will you ever really be free. -- free from bondage. free from its hold, free to see that your Savior Himself pressed the delete button for your sins. What does John 19:30 say about forgiveness? On your knees, with hands outstretched, resolve to receive forgiveness. His forgiveness.

6 The burden of unforgivness is like a retired circus pony walking in circles in their new open pasture..for some; our old life still haunts us. Defines us. Restrains us. Controls us. We keep the same pattern to which weʼve been living for so long. Why when we are free of the past does it still control us? Unforgivness sits on us, weighs us down, and restricts us from enjoying the new freedom that each season of life brings us. How does unforgivness fit us with blinders? Pg 137 We cannot always control what happens to us, but we control how we. Pg 137 In some cases you have tried to forgive, Youʼve thought you were there, but then here it comes again. Another betrayal, another broken promise, another blow to your fragile trust - and as a result; a deeper hurt. Do you have people or situations in your life that come to mind when you read that? The reality is, we cannot change it now. Some of these things may have occurred when you were so young you had no voice or strength to refuse. Without simplifying or minimizing the staggering effects of those tragic offenses, the truth remains that these events and circumstances - the actual moments when they occurred - make up only a small percentage of your life. If you happen to be a person that went through something tragic as a child; have you been able to forgive and deal with whatʼs happened?

7 A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger. Day 4 No More Circles By forgiving and working through these circumstance we are not continually doing circles back to that place of hurt instead of thriving in our current season. Forgiveness is reached through a combination of several actions. Refuse to store up and harbor a grudge. Make an active decision not to hold a debt over someone elseʼs head or to keep an ongoing record of their wrongdoing. Choose instead to release them of that liability Trust God - who knows EVERY detail of everything thatʼs happened - to work on your behalf and bring healing to your heart. Is releasing this into the hands of God difficult for you? Why do you think it is? He forgave all our sins. He canceled the records of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross (Colossians 2:13-14) We were forgiven of all of our sins; so why do we continue to keep on ongoing record of their wrongdoings? Freeing them from the debt, whether theyʼve admitted their mistake of not. Learning to discipline yourself not to harbor resentment is a difficult but necessary activity in any victories Christianʼs life. How does freeing them whether theyʼve admitted their mistakes make you feel or react? With resentment a wounded heart cannot open up either to fully love or receive love. And one who harbors her wounds as some kind of protection against further wounds only tightens the hard places in her heart that keep her locked in circles, never escaping whatʼs happened, stuck in her predictable ruts and reactions. Can you recognize when you are circling back... or shutting someone out due to a hurt from the past?

8 If we know we are doing this, why cant we stop ourselves? If someone does something today that causes you to be angry...and you immediately begin rehearsing everything they did yesterday and the day before, youʼll know you are still living in unforgivness and storing up offenses. During the next couple weeks try and really watch for this. Take that time to possibly journal about why you cant seem to let it go. Letʼs deal in the present instead of the past. Release their debts and release yourself from the burden of carrying it around. Now we must leave room for God to act on your behalf. Itʼs quite natural to feel as through forgiveness lets the other person just get away with it. Is this one reason you may have problems forgiving? Youʼre especially likely to feel like this if you never hear this person express any regret for their actions, or if their lame attempt at an apology is more like a self-justification, trying to shroud you in as much or more blame as themselves. Showing they just don't get it. Have you had conflicts like this.. where no matter how you explained it or how many times; they just didn't get it? Their acknowledgment of wrong is expected and critical; but if they don't, or cant, or wont admit to the harm theyʼve caused you, its not your job to ensure they get whats coming to them. By giving them your forgiveness, you leave it up to to deal with them. Pg 141

9 A Resolution to release others from the prison of my hurt and anger. Day 5 No More Circles Continued God will deal with the people who hurt you - in His own way, in His own, much better and more thoroughly than you ever could. Pg 141 Refuse the urge to retaliate. Trust that He will do your fighting for you. Believe that He will serve your best interests in the circumstances at hand as you stay humble and at peace before Him. Leave room for Godʼs. (Romanʼs 12:19) Finally we must PRAY; ask the Lord to empower you to forgive. You canʼt do this in your own strength. You shouldn't be expected to. Take a moment of silence and pray to the Lord to empower you to forgive on a specific person or circumstance in your life that has been hanging on. Record what He speaks to you He alone can compel a grieving mother to forgive her childʼs killer, or a betrayed friend to forgive an act of emotional disregard and cruelty, or a deceived wife to welcome back the one with whom she exchanged those first vows. Only God can alter your pattern, quicken your step, expand your reach... and get you out of those circles. This will NOT be easy, but its worth it! Being a woman resolved to forgive can do so much. List a few. There are some listed on Pg 142.

10 Taking the steps to forgive makes all the difference. Therein lies the secret youʼve possibly been waiting to discover - the promised opportunity to change the geometry of your life from endless circles into the best shape your heart has even been in. Which step is harder for you and why? refusing to store up and harbor a grudge. leaving room for God to act on your behalf. praying, asking the Lord to give you a desire to forgive. Be willing to seek the necessary help to fully experience the benefits that forgiveness is designed to give. My Forgiveness I will forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.