Frère Jacques II par Viktors Vairogs

Transcription

1 Frère Jacques II par Viktors Vairogs Jacques Nicholson was grinning. He had a plan to catch the spy, but he would have to wait until Monday. Julie was smirking. She was happy by the way things worked out at the barbecue. Jacques had impressed her family and they almost never liked her boyfriends, not that Jacques was her boyfriend but you never know maybe one day. Why was Jacques Nicholson grinning? He was grinning because he had a plan on how to catch the spy. What does it mean to grin? It means to smile ear to ear. Why was Julie smirking? She was smirking because her family liked Jacques. What does it mean to smirk? To smirk means to have an arrogant smile. As they were driving, Jacques mobile phone rang. He pulled out his phone from his jacket pocket. It was his mother. He took a deep breath and answered the phone, Hi, mom! Bonjour, Jacques! This is your mother. Yes, I know. How are you doing? How do you know? Are you some kind of mind reader? Page 1 of 10

2 No, mom, your name shows up on the screen. Viktors Vairogs Ah ha, now I understand. You see my name and if you don t feel like talking to me, you don t answer. Who called Jacques Nicholson? His mother called. Does she really understand modern phones? No, she does not seem to understand. Did she understand the purpose of seeing the name of the one calling? Yes, she did. Does she seem well educated? Not really but she does seem wise. Julie was listening in. Jacques mom spoke loud enough to be heard anywhere in the car. Possibly she was little hard of hearing. Julie smiled. It was kind of fun to watch Jacques squirm. Why could Julie listen in? Jacques mom spoke loudly. What might be his mom s problem? It s very probable that she is hard of hearing. Was Julie enjoying herself? Yes, she enjoyed watching Jacques squirm. Page 2 of 10

3 No, mom it doesn t work like that. Sometimes I am working on a case or I am interviewing someone so I can t take your call. Well, you should take my calls, no matter what. I am your mother. When you called me, night or day, for the first eighteen years of your life did I ever say to you. I m with a client? NO, never, not once! Was Jacques excuse reasonable? Yes, it was. How did Mme Nicholson feel? She never said no to her son for the first eighteen years of his life, so now he should be available to his mother. Mom. Don t mom me, just apologize. Jacques said, I m sorry, mom. But he rolled his eyes. Good, I forgive you. Your father is not feeling very well and he was wondering if you could come by. He has something he would like to give you. What s wrong? asked Jacques in a tone that showed he was concerned. It s always the same thing. He s out of breath. The doctors don t know what s wrong. So every month we go to Montreal for more tests. Does Jacques apology sound sincere? No, not if you are rolling your eyes. What might have happened if Mme Nicholson were present? Jacques might have gotten a smack. The previous generation believed in corporal correction. Mom, I m very busy at this time. I m involved in a new case and I should really concentrate on that. Page 3 of 10

4 You just asked me, How your father is? and since it s as bad as always, you are ready to say, I m too busy to come see my father and mother. Julie was listening quietly to Jacques conversation, but when he said he was busy she spoke up. You have tomorrow off! Why did Jacques refuse his mother s invitation? He was concentrating on his new case. Did Mme Nicholson accept his excuse? Not at all, she had some sharp words. What did Julie say? She said, You have tomorrow off. Should Julie have interrupted? Probably not. Is there someone with you? asked Mme Olivine Nicholson. She was old fashioned and she liked using her husband s name. Yes, that s my new administrative assistant, Julie Wagner, answered Jacques, I really should be going. Why should you be going, going where? It s not that I should be going but I m driving and talking on my mobile. Well, you seem to be managing very well. What s the problem? You don t want to talk to me and until you tell me when you are coming over, you better not hang up. How do we know that Mme Olivine Nicholson was old fashioned? She liked to use her husband s name instead of her maiden name. Page 4 of 10

5 Was it true that Jacques should not be talking on his mobile? Yes, it s against the law. Is Jacques mom a stubborn woman? Yes she is. She feels that God wants what women want. How about tomorrow? Viktors Vairogs Excellent! Come tomorrow morning, your father feels better in the morning. You re right, mom. I ll come up in the morning. Will that be alright? Yes, Jacques, you ll make your father very happy. Julie was smiling ear to ear. Her little statement forced Jacques to accept his mother s invitation. Revenge can be sweet sometimes. Why was Julie smiling ear to ear? She forced Jacques to visit his mother. He did the same thing to her and now she had her revenge. Oh, I was wondering. Could I bring Miss Wagner with me? As I said, I m working on a case right now and it would allow me to discuss it with her while we drive to the house. Julie s smile disappeared. No, Jacques, no, I can t. interrupted Julie. Wonderful, we ll have lunch together, declared Mme Nicholson, Your father will really enjoy that. She heard the next statement and grimaced. Bye, mom, We ll see you tomorrow! Jacques hung up. Did Jacques get his revenge right back? Yes he did. He is very sly. Page 5 of 10

6 Why did you say I m going to see your family? I can t! I have to clean my apartment, buy some groceries, and pay some bills. Hey, didn t I go with you to see your family? Didn t I put up with their games and get thrown in the pool just because I was with you? My family will never throw you in the pool, Jacques paused, They don t have one, Jacques chuckled. Jacques, whined Julie, I should take care of my affairs I agree, you should, but you have to pay your bills online, then it s easy. Yes, but I ll go do your groceries for you. Okay, that will help but... Did Julie have a good reason for refusing to go with Jacques? Yes, she had some excellent reasons. Was Jacques response to her reasons pretty smart? Yes, it was. He s very, very sly. He s sly like a fox. Julie, wait a minute, I have to make a call, said Jacques, cutting Julie off again. He looked for a name on his phone, touched the screen and the telephone started to ring. Could I speak to Miss Margaret Johnson? Someone spoke in very quiet voice. Great, everything is great, Margaret, answered Jacques, I was wondering if you could do me a favour. Jacques asked her to do the housekeeping at his office and in the next door apartment. She accepted. Again, Julie couldn t distinguish the words this time, the voice was almost a whisper. Jacques hung up again. Could Julie hear the person Jacques was talking to? Page 6 of 10

7 Not this time. Julie was going to strangle him but before she could say anything, a police siren screamed in their ears. Jacques looked up and yes, there were police flashers in the grill of a white car, and inside was an unsmiling police officer. Jacques pulled over to the side and whispered to Julie, You should have to pay half that ticket. If you had not spoken up while I was talking to my mother, I would have ended the conversation. Julie was red as a beet. She really did feel responsible. What happened? A policeman saw Jacques on his mobile. Why was Julie as red as a beet. She really did feel at fault. The officer walked over to Jacques window. Standing back a little so that Jacques had to twist in his seat to be able to talk to the Province of Quebec Police officer. License, registration and proof of insurance, please. What s the problem? asked Jacques, hoping the officer had not noticed that he was talking on his mobile. Do you have to ask? responded the officer coolly. Do you remember that less than a minute ago you were talking on your mobile phone? What did the police officer request? He wanted to see the driver s license, the registration and proof of insurance. This was really not starting out well. Jacques thought he would try another tactic. I m a detective. I also work solving different criminal cases. Well, why didn t you say so? Let me see your badge. Page 7 of 10

8 Jacques opened up another section of his wallet and there was a chrome badge, with blue letters that highlighted the words, Private Detective. Yes, we are like brothers fighting crime. Hmm, Private detective you, sir, are not a police officer nor a brother. Are you trying to impersonate a police officer? Did Jacques have a badge? Yes, he did but the police officer was not impressed. How did the police officer respond? He seemed severe. Not at all. I just wanted to say I fight crime just like you. Okay, Mr. Crime Fighter who were you talking to? Hmm, ahhh! You better tell the truth! Lying to an officer will cost you dearly. My mother, she called to tell me my father is not feeling very well and she insisted I visit them tomorrow. Okay, my dear brother, what are the laws in Quebec concerning talking on your mobile while driving? I have to pull over, said Jacques while he winced. Yes, that s right! Now did you pull over? What did the police officer call Jacques? He called him Mr. Crime Fighter. What was the warning he gave Jacques? He told him he better not lie. What was Jacques supposed to do if he wanted to talk on his mobile? Page 8 of 10

9 He was supposed to pull over. The conversation only lasted a few seconds, responded Jacques hopefully. No, it lasted more than a minute. Do you have some honesty issues? Now it was Jacques that was red as a beet and mad as a hornet. He handed his papers to the police officer without any further comments. Thank you! How did Jacques look? He was red as a beet. How did he feel? He was mad as a hornet. Why did he react that way? The police officer wondered if Jacques had some honesty issues and that really bothered Jacques. In a few minutes, the police officer returned with the registration, licence and the proof of insurance. Jacques took his papers. The officer handed Jacques the ticket. Jacques pulled on the ticket but the police was holding it tightly. What do we say? asked the officer. What? What do we say when someone gives you something? Thank you, officer. It was my pleasure, Frère Jacques, from the fraternity of Private Detectives. What did the police officer require Jacques to do when he handed him his ticket? He had to say, Thank-you! Page 9 of 10

10 How do you think Jacques felt now? He was stunned. He had just met the most condescending police officer in Quebec. As soon as the police officer walked off, Julie spoke up, It will be a pleasure for me to accompany you tomorrow. Jacques only grunted as he read the ticket, Four hundred dollars and three demerit points. Now that is highway robbery!! What did Julie say? She immediately said that it would be a pleasure to accompany Jacques to visit his parents. What did Jacques say? Four hundred dollars and three demerit points. Now that is highway robbery To be continued Page 10 of 10