Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you

Transcription

1 Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend. I'll help you carry on, were the lyrics she had always loved to sing from the man she worshiped: Michael Bolton. They described her exact persona, the person she always was and he was her Serenade, what kept her going through all of those haunting days. She believed that because of his music she could live life thoroughly and quest out in hopes to find what she believed was its meaning. She always found a way to see the good in every situation, even though it was not always the best of state, which she learned through the emotion that she received from listening to Mr. Bolton s music. She allowed her self to seek forgiveness even when it was not deserved and was always willing to give a helping hand even when not needed. These were the things I had always tried to be, but could never quite understand the endeavors id have to withstand to reach them. She became my inspiration, the person I had always longed to be, but didn t know how to become. I idealized her strength, longed for he optimism and loved her company. Through the unraveling of each of these words that constantly played in my head, my cousin s optimistic outlook on life was always so treacherous due to the abnormality of her condition. Growing up her whole life diagnosed with Leukemia and being blind, she never was able to see this egoistical world as it is portrayed to be. Instead, she emerged her fanciful thoughts that love circled around everything, as it should, and that everyone was meaningful in their own distinct way to the minds of those around her. She did not deserve the pain with which she endowed each and every day; she was the good that canceled out all of the evil that surfaced this egotistical

2 society. Since no one felt that she deserved to be a victim to such a vigorous disease, being just another patient in the hospital every weekend, there was always such hostility that lurked in the depths of our family. It enhanced so much grief and stress on my family and to sit on the sidelines feeling so numb as to how I could help them always made me feel like such a burden. I felt like the grim of this surreal story, the enemy with no purpose, I fell a trap a depression so encompassing I couldn t see any luminous light. Even though I was only thirteen, I was fully aware of the situation and underwent a mix of emotions. How could I possibly help my Aunt and Uncle? Why, with her being so giving, could I possibly sit here and be even an ounce of angry when she deserved everyone to be positive around her? My Aunt and Uncle always questioned the ruling of God, and why it had to be them to undergo this unfortunate state, which made me feel so helpless and unwanted. I wished in every way that I could do any and everything for them, but just found myself unaware of exactly how to do just that. All I was at that moment was a fly on the wall, uninspired and non- appreciative. They too themselves were very loving people, their last name, Loveridge, to prove it, and the joy that their daughter tried to bring them always glowed like a firefly, so I could never really understand why I felt like I was doing absolutely nothing to help them. With the absence of a sister figure to her, I then resorted to what I thought that they would want me to be, a friend to Carrie. As I passed through the stages of my childhood, being an outcast and ungrateful, and through the closeness my Aunt and Dad shared, I always found my cousin Carrie Loveridge to be the only one by my side. At school, no one seemed to take the time out of their day to get to know me and name calling was thrown like

3 darts everyday. I always found comfort in seclusion and found it easy to trust only in myself. No one could relate to the pain I suffered, and I felt it was no one s business to know. Carrie was the only one who I could share my life with. We became best friends, submerged in happiness when side- by- side. I too then started to share the same joy that the soothing music of Michael Bolton brought. Our jam sessions singing along to his music were always so epic, dressing in leather jackets with white v- necks and tight jeans wishing to be like characters form Grease. Our black converse with high white socks always made us look so goofy, but we were lost in the music with out an ounce of judgment weighing us down. We screamed out the lyrics to Soul Provider, That s What s Loves all About and many more and Carrie s natural ability to recite his songs on the piano joined us together even more. I always loved watching her play the piano; she was like Mozart junior. One day when we were together, I distinctly remember my Aunt Diana bursting into her room and telling us that she was on the phone with a foundation called Make- A- Wish. I didn t really understand the objective of the foundation at the time, but my Aunt continued to ask Carrie to make a wish, any possible wish, that she could ever want to come true. When asked on the spot, I could have probably guessed what my cousin was going to say, but she reminded me of our bond when she replied that the only thing she wanted was to attend a Michael Bolton concert and be given the chance to meet him. After getting off the phone, my curiosity itched in my skin as I begged my Aunt to inform us that Make- A- Wish was a non profit organization that allowed members under similar conditions as Carrie to make wishes that they tried their best to make come true. She then explained that non- profit meant that they never kept any of the

4 proceeds they attained and that they actually helped raise money to give to others. I remember thinking that their organization sounded so amazing. I always prayed that Carrie would one day get her wish, and if any one deserved it, she definitely did. It was not until the age of 17, just 7 months before her unfortunate passing, was her wish granted. When hearing the news, I was overwhelmed with joy that my cousin finally was about to escape in the midst of her dreams. The whole night turned out to be all that it deserved to be. With our formal dresses, and the men in their black suits and white ties, the black stretch limo arrived at seven p.m. on the dot with the sign The Loveridge family sitting in the window. It was my first limo ride, and I could feel the excitement creeping over me. Each of our sweat drenched bodies started to cool off as we piled in the limo like sardines. It was my mom, dad, sister, Aunt, Uncle, cousin Lauren and Carrie and the Make- A- Wish representatives that climbed into that vehicle of bliss and we all looked around at each other realizing we were sharing the same hopes that this night turns out to be like a fairytale and exceed all of our expectations. I sat next to Carrie and she clasped my hand so tight I felt the loss of circulation coming on. It was as though I could feel her heart beat racing, and I knew that she was so excited yet nervous. We all wanted Carrie to forget her pain for the night and just drown in the moment that she so longed for. And that is exactly what she did, she fully submerged herself in the music as if she were the only one in the room. The smile on her face was the size of a crescent moon and she danced as if not one person were watching. It was just her, there at that moment, and no other situation could have ever mattered to her. After the concert was over, we all believed there was no way

5 that this night could have gotten any better for her, but as it turned out, we were wrong. The Co- founder of the Make- A- Wish foundation accompanied us that night and informed us that we were actually going to be able to go backstage and meet her one and only admiration: Michael Bolton. When conversation with him lasted for more than an hour, Carrie quickly climbed to the top of the world. He described to her his passion for singing and how he got started in his white flannel shirt and black slacks, described his family relations and personally sang her favorite song privately to her. She loved each and every minute and took in each and every word that he placed upon her. He was to her as she was to us, so caring, giving, loving and positive and at that moment, he reinforced her thought that there was good in the world. Carrie, he reminded her, you are one amazing person. Your family is blessed to have such a wonderful person and I want you to promise me that you will continue to give love to others. I promise, Michael, She reassured him. It was with that phrase that I realized all that my cousin had meant to me. She provided love and friendship that lacked in my life, and always reminded me to love others around me. The tears started to stream down the face of my family and mine as we stood face to face with her idol as he admitted his connection to Carrie. When time came to go home, we could see her light of happiness shining from miles away. She whispered to me, if I were to die at this very instance, I would be extremely contempt with it. I will never forget the importance of that night to her. Accompanying her, and feeling the many wonders that Make- A- Wish

6 allowed my family to enjoy, it hit me straight across the face that I wanted to help other people with similar conditions as my cousin, have a chance to embark in one moment to change their whole life. That night I found my calling in life, I wanted to help others and be an inspiration to many. I knew that this would not immediately affect my Aunt and Uncle, but that they would be proud of me for allowing Carrie to inspire me to help others that shared something with them. I witnessed the joy that foundations could bring to others and immediately wanted to be apart of everything that they had to offer. Going home the next day, I quickly jumped on my new discovery. I joined every organization I heard of; Give kids the world, The Salvation Army, Special Olympics and many others. I volunteered for every opportunity available and always made sure to personally share memories with every family I was embraced by, knowing that through listening and positive thinking I could help change someone s day. One specific experience that touched me was at Special Olympics one Sunday. I was helping mentally and physically handicap people bowl, one of my passions, and one boy got really discouraged. He was in second place and really wanted to win. I saw the dark thoughts consume him, as they once did to me, and I quickly made it my duty to talk to him. John, I said. Don t give up sweaty, your almost there. Just remember that you gave it your complete all and if it s meant to be, God will allow you to win. He continued to bowl his best, and took on first place by 3 pins making it to the national competition. When receiving his blue ribbon, he unexpectedly ran over to me, hugged be so deeply and thanked me for motivating him. He assured me that

7 because of my pepped talk I helped him achieve his goals and change his life. I was quickly over come with joy and a feeling of completeness by inspiring someone else. Also, coming to college this year as a freshman, I have extended my want to help others by joining the Best Buddies Club, Habitat for Humanities and the Invisible Children organization. I wish to prolong this necessity to help others with unfortunate conditions enjoy their time on this precious earth and really start to appreciate what they have. Not only when working with charities have I followed this outlook that I posses. Around my friends and family I always try to motivate them into wanting to do good in school as it will contribute to their future and also to not place judgments on anyone as they do not know the conditions that they might be involved with. I owe all of my success to my cousin as she has inspired me to shape my view of this world and to help others. She became my Michael Bolton as she helped me to better others and to also better myself. I feel that I have found my true self and will continue my whole life to volunteer with non- profits and help others. I always appreciate every moment I am offered to spend with my family and try to take nothing for granted.