Here is how I define wasted days:

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1 Limits of Only-ness This week, once again, we were reminded of how fragile and temporal this life on earth is. We were reminded of the lack of guarantees that come with life and the seemingly irrational and illogical process of selecting who lives and who dies on any given day. As we ponder some of the mysteries of an abundant life in this service, let us hold in our hearts our brothers and sisters in Moore, Oklahoma who have lost loved ones including 20 precious children, possessions, pets and for most, their sense of peace and security. Let us know with them the eternal love that is the truth of each of us and the limitless supply of comfort, strength and substance that is our Divine Creator. And today, allow your heart to expand beyond the tragedy foremost in our awareness to include the crises occurring in lives around the world. Let us know the truth with all the world. In John 10:10, Jesus said, I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. Perhaps that seems like an odd quote to use on Memorial Day. In 1868, during a period of reconstruction following the Civil War in the United States, the Commander in Chief John A. Logan of the grand Army of the Republic issued what was called General Order Number 11, designating May 30 as a memorial day. He declared it to be "for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land." The first national celebration was at Arlington National Cemetery and today we still decorate the tomb of the unknown soldier which is there. In 1866, before the war was over, Southern women decorated the graves of soldiers. After the war, a women's memorial association in Columbus, Mississippi, put flowers on the graves of both Confederate and Union soldiers. In the South, where I grew up, Memorial Day was called Decoration Day. It was a day to visit family graveyards, gather with family for reunions and 1

2 picnics, sometimes in the graveyard, and to bring flowers for the graves. Apparently these practices in the South predate the idea of only honoring the graves of soldiers. Memorial Day continues to be a time to honor and reflect upon the lives of the people we have loved, including those who gave their lives in service to the freedom of our country. The thought that was very vivid for me this week was that our best advice for living seems to come from people who are dying. On Monday, in addition to the loss of life in Oklahoma, Zach Sobiech died at the age of 18 in Lakeland Minnesota. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, a rare and usually fatal bone cancer in November When he learned last year that he did not have much longer to live, his mother suggested he write farewell notes to his loved ones. Instead, he wrote music. His farewell song, "Clouds," has received more than four million views on YouTube - at - in just two weeks. "I want to be remembered as a kid who went down fighting, and didn't really lose," he said. And didn t really lose. A diagnosis often sets off a timer in people s lives that is real and serves as a motivator to examine how they live. Often a person may begin to make different choices. Watching from the outside, we may be surprised that the knowledge of a finite life does not keep people from dreaming and doing. It is sobering for those of us who find ourselves complaining about small things to imagine that an 18 year old could die and see himself as a winner. In the song, Live Like You Are Dying, written by Tim McGraw in honor of his father, Tug McGraw, he says, I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying." An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dyin'." Ironically, each of us has the chance to live like we are dying every day. And this, perhaps is the divine paradox within Jesus statement, I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. 2

3 Life is a gift opened moment by moment. The abundance lies within each moment. The abundance is not a pile of things or good deeds to accumulate and pile up. The abundance is not something to wait for or look forward to having some day. To have life abundantly is not a measure of the number of days in a life or the successes of a life but to have life abundantly is a measure of the extent to which we live fully in each moment with no guarantee of the next moment. I believe this is the lesson of Jesus teachings, the lesson from those who teach us in their dying process and the lesson we can gather from those who have left us too quickly, giving their lives in service to our country. A couple years ago the author teaching us about living was Randy Pausch in his Last Lecture. I appreciate this quote: The key question to keep asking is, Are you spending your time on the right things? Stephen Covey says, Put first things first. Jesus said, strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Pausch and Covey are vague on what the priorities might be but Jesus is not. Jesus is just trying to simplify things for us: put God first and all the other priorities will fall into place. It appears to me an abundant life is one which refuses to focus on any limit. Clearly, Zach Sobeich, Randy Pausch, and Tug McGraw considered and spoke about having only months to live but that was only a guess and not a guarantee. Their focus was not on the limited nature of days of life but on what they wanted to do in each day of life they awoke to. Everyone gets that choice. And everyone can also choose to focus on the lack, the limits, the loss and the only-ness in each day. Helen Keller was certainly a person who experienced sensory deficits most of us would consider limiting. Yet she said, All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. We can look at lack, loss and only-ness or we can look to the infinite abundance available for us to claim. 3

4 Out of every tragedy come the stories of overcoming; the stories of sacrifice. The Person of the Week on ABC News this week were the teachers in Oklahoma who lay across the tiny bodies of their students to protect them. They led them in singing and sending i- pod messages and reassured them in the roar of the storm. For me, the best way to honor the lives of those no longer with us is to live life abundantly. You may know, my father died when I was 12. He returned from WWII a disabled veteran. He lived each day I was with him fully engaged in being a father. There were days he was sick and years at the end when we were separated. I honor him when I treasure the life I have and live it fully each day, as he did and as he wanted for me. I move beyond the thoughts of onlyness. But not every day is a party. Let s be honest. There are days of illness, of grief, of weariness. Are these wasted days? Here is how I define wasted days: A day in which I am not grateful for the life I have. If I focus on what seems missing or lacking and I forget to give thanks for the breath of God, living through me I have wasted the gift of the day. A day in which I withhold forgiveness from myself and others. When I choose to hold on to pain, anger and shame, I am wasting the opportunity to clear the channel and return to the loving nature I was created to be. I am wasting a day to be who I truly am. A day in which I skip the opportunity to connect; to share a smile; to tell someone I love them. One of the gifts of technology is that I don t have to go farther than my cell phone or my laptop to reach out. I left a message Monday night for my girlfriend in Moore OK. I love you. Call me when you can. She and her girls were safe, even though two of her granddaughters attended the schools that were directly hit. 4

5 They were both in her safe room, with their mother and grandmother when the storm hit. She called with a borrowed phone on Tuesday. A day unaware of the presence of God. It seems hard to imagine that in my life right now but I remember the wasted days of busy-ness when I was a single, working mom. It was much easier when I learned to stop for even a moment to remember the One Power and One Presence that supported all the activity I thought was so important. The value in the day became those moments when the love of God was reflected in the faces of my children, in their sleeping sighs and as we gathered around the dinner table to share in our abundance. As we spend a Monday holiday gathering with friends and family, honoring those who have served our country over the years and are missing from gatherings today, let us live life abundantly. Amid the picnics and music and every other celebration be aware of the presence of God, the breath of life in all; give thanks for all that is yours in this moment; forgive freely and fearlessly; and give your hand and heart generously to those around you. Claim the abundant life that is yours. 5