Creating Effective Thesis Statements and Topic Sentences Foundation Lesson

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1 Foundation Lesson Thesis Statements What is a thesis statement? A thesis statement is a sentence that expresses the writer s position/opinion on a particular subject. It is reasonable for the reader of a thesis statement to assume that it will be supported by evidence. A thesis expresses an idea that the speaker or writer intends to support or prove. The speaker or writer begins with an idea that he or she believes may be correct. The purpose of a speech or essay may be to justify a thesis by using evidence presented in a logical order. When the writer forms his or her idea into a sentence that will serve as the cornerstone of a piece of writing, we call this sentence the thesis statement. The structure and content of the thesis statement will be shaped according to the writer s purpose. How do I write a thesis statement? There are really two ways to approach writing a thesis statement. One way is to start by making an assertion (an idea of your own that must be supported by evidence) and then to weigh the facts and evidence that may or may not support that assertion. When you create a preliminary thesis statement this way, you often have to change your thesis because the evidence may not necessarily support your position. The other way is to examine the available data or text, interpret it, and then form your thesis statement based on what you have discovered through your study of the data. Each method has its pros and cons. Your individual thinking style will most likely influence the way you choose to produce your thesis statement. How do I write a thesis statement? Though you can start simply by reading a text, writing a statement explaining some aspect of its meaning, and then searching for quotations and details that support your ideas, it is really easier to begin by selecting quotations and details from the text itself, writing interpretations of these pieces of the text, and searching for connections and contrasts among them. As you are reading the text, highlight interesting and important words, phrases, images, and passages; as you do so, look for patterns among these elements. In the margins, write questions and observations to help you develop commentary later. As you complete sections of the text, use dialectical journals to help you select and analyze important parts of the text (see Dialectical Journal lesson for format). After you have completed your reading, browse through your annotations and journal observations. Then write a generalization about the text (thesis statement), using a variation of the format at the end of this lesson. 83

2 Writing Thesis Statements Creating Effective Thesis Statements and Topic A thesis statement usually appears in the first paragraph of an essay and reveals the opinion that your paper will defend. An analytical writing prompt asks you to prove an abstract idea by referring to concrete evidence. In order to write a thesis statement, you must have 1) a subject usually the abstract portion of the writing prompt, such as characterization, tone, theme, purpose, etc. 2) your opinion about that subject 3) the concrete element the literary or rhetorical devices that provide evidence to support your opinion. An effective thesis statement makes an assertion about what the writer believes to be true about the abstract portion of the prompt. Because the assertion is the writer s opinion, the writer must offer evidence to back up the assertion. The thesis statement lets the reader of the essay know from the very beginning what the writer intends to prove in his or her essay. Here is a sample prompt for which you might write a thesis statement: Read Excerpt 2 carefully. In a well-written essay, explain how Beals uses the elements of language to express her own growth and self-realization. Note: You must answer the questions of the prompt; however, DO NOT just reword the prompt. What are the questions of this prompt? 1. How does Melba grow mentally and emotionally in this passage? (the abstract) 2. What elements reveal that characterization? (the concrete) 3. What is your opinion about Melba s growth? Here is a thesis statement that is typical of many beginning writers: In Warriors Don t Cry by Melba Patillo Beals, the author uses several different types of figurative language to characterize her growth and self-realization. 1) What is the subject (the abstract element)? Characterization of Melba s mental and emotional growth in Warriors Don t Cry 2) What literary or rhetorical elements (the concrete) reveal that characterization? figurative language 3) What is the writer s opinion about Melba s growth? This key element of a thesis is missing; there is no opinion given. This thesis simply restates the writing prompt. 84

3 Here is a thesis statement that answers the questions of the prompt: In this passage of Warriors Don t Cry, Melba Patillo Beals uses figurative language, such as similes and metaphors, to portray Melba as a young girl who bravely dares to experience hope and pride in spite of crippling fear and hesitation. 1) What is the subject (the abstract element)? Melba s ability to experience hope and pride in spite of her crippling fear 2) What literary elements (the concrete) reveal that characterization? figurative language, especially similes and metaphors 3) What is the writer s opinion about Melba s character growth? This writer answers the abstract part of the prompt by stating that Melba bravely dares to be hopeful in spite of crippling fear. Activity One: Evaluation of Thesis Statements Read the following sample thesis statements and then identify from the thesis statement the subject and the writer s opinion. Write one sentence that specifically explains what makes each an effective thesis statement. Memoir prompt: Read the following memoir carefully. Then, in a well-organized essay, analyze how the author uses details and imagery to reveal his attitude toward the subject. In General History of Virginia, John Smith expresses a defensive attitude about the failure of the colony through negatively connoted diction and images of the colonists extreme suffering at the hands of forces beyond their control. 1) What is the subject (the abstract element)? 2) What literary elements (concrete) reveal that abstract element? 3) What is the writer s opinion about the subject? This thesis statement is effective because Prose prompt: Read carefully the excerpt from Fahrenheit 451, in which Faber explains to Montag the reasons people in their society are not happy. Then, in a well-developed essay, explain how the speaker s language clearly reveals his view of his subject. 85

4 In the excerpt from Fahrenheit 451, Faber s strong diction, syntax, and metaphors reveal his belief that the absence of access to ideas in books has limited and corrupted humanity. 1) What is the subject (the abstract element)? 2) What literary elements (concrete) reveal that abstract element? 3) What is the writer s opinion about the subject? 4) This thesis statement is effective because Activity Two: How to Evaluate Thesis Statements In the prompts and thesis statements below, cross out the words in the thesis that are taken directly from the prompt. Examine what is left. Does it answer the abstract question of the prompt (which is always going to be a what question)? Some of the answers have been provided for you. 1. Prompt: Read Excerpt 2 carefully. In a well-written essay, explain how Beals uses the elements of language to express her own growth and self-realization. What is the abstract question? WHAT kind of character growth does Melba experience? Thesis: In Warriors Don t Cry by Melba Patillo Beals, the author uses several different types of figurative language to characterize her growth and self-realization. What is the answer to the question? Several different types does not tell what kind of character growth Melba experienced, so this prompt does not answer the abstract question. 2. Prompt: Read the excerpt from General History of Virginia carefully. Then, in a wellorganized essay, analyze how the author uses details and imagery to reveal his attitude toward the subject. What is the abstract question? WHAT is the author s attitude toward the subject? Thesis: In General History of Virginia, John Smith expresses a defensive attitude about the failure of the colony through negatively connoted diction and images of the colonists extreme suffering at the hands of forces beyond their control. What is the answer to the question? 86

5 3. Prompt: Write an essay in which you explain how the poet uses language to create tone. What is the abstract question? WHAT? Thesis: In the poem Richard Cory by E.A. Robinson, the poet uses images of royalty and poverty to create an ironic and pensive tone. What is the answer to the question? Ironic and pensive 4. Prompt: Write an essay in which you explain how the author uses figurative language to reveal his attitude about the subject of the poem. What is the abstract question?? Thesis: In Douglass, Paul Laurence Dunbar uses images and personification to express his belief that Frederick Douglass s calm and strong influence is needed in modern conflicts. What is the answer to the question?? 87

6 Activity Three: Writing a Thesis Statement Prompt: In 1805, American missionaries requested permission to preach the Christian message to the Iroquois people. Chief Red Jacket addressed them to explain why the Native Americans should be allowed to practice their own religion without interference. Read Chief Red Jacket s speech carefully. Then write a response in which you analyze how Red Jacket uses rhetorical techniques to persuade his audience to allow his people to practice their native religion. You may want to consider such elements as diction, repetition, tone, or appeals. Read and annotate the following speech by Chief Red Jacket. Try to identify Red Jacket s purpose. Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, 1805 by Chief Red Jacket The Senecas, members of the Iroquois Confederacy, fought on the side of the British in the American Revolution. Red Jacket was a chief and orator born in eastern New York; he derived his English name from his habit of wearing many red coats provided to him by his British allies. After the hostilities, as the British ceded their territories to the Americans, the Senecas and many other Indian peoples faced enormous pressure on their homelands. Red Jacket was a critical mediator in relations between the new U.S. government and the Senecas; he led a delegation that met with George Washington in 1792, when he received a peace medal. In 1805 a Boston missionary society sent Reverend Cram to request that Red Jacket s permit them to preach among the Iroquois settlements in northern New York State. Red Jacket s forceful defense of native religion, below, caused the representative to refuse the Indian s handshake and announce that no fellowship could exist between the religion of God and the works of the Devil. Friend and brother; it was the will of the Great Spirit that we should meet together this day. He orders all things, and he has given us a fine day for our council. He has taken his garment from before the sun, and caused it to shine with brightness upon us; our eyes are opened, that we see clearly; our ears are unstopped, that we have been able to hear distinctly the words that you have spoken; for all these favors we thank the Great Spirit, and him only. Brother, this council fire was kindled by you; it was at your request that we came together at this time; we have listened with attention to what you have said. You requested us to speak our minds freely; this gives us great joy, for we now consider that we stand upright before you, and can speak what we think; all have heard your voice, and all speak to you as one man; our minds are agreed. 3 Brother, you say you want an answer to your talk before you leave this place. It is right you should have one, as you are a great distance from home, and we do not wish to detain you; but we will first look back a little, and tell you what our fathers have told us, and what we have heard from the white people. 4 Brother, listen to what we say. There was a time when our forefathers owned this great island. Their seats extended from the rising to the setting sun. The Great Spirit had made it for the use of Indians. He had created the buffalo, the deer, and other animals for food. He made the bear and the beaver, and their skins served us for clothing. He had scattered them over the country, and taught us how to take them. He had caused the earth to produce corn for bread. All this he had done for his red children because he loved them. If we had any disputes about hunting grounds, they were generally settled without the shedding of much blood. But an evil day came upon us; your forefathers crossed the great waters, and landed on this island. Their numbers were small; they found friends, and not enemies; they told us they had fled from their own country for fear of wicked men, and come here to enjoy their religion. They asked for a small seat; we took pity on them, granted their request, and they sat down amongst us; we gave them corn and meat; they gave us poison in return. The white people had now found our country; tidings were carried back, and more came amongst us; yet we did not fear them, we took them to be friends; they called us brothers; we believed them, and gave them a larger seat. At length, their numbers had greatly increased; they wanted more land; they wanted our country. Our eyes were opened, and

7 our minds became uneasy. Wars took place; Indians were hired to fight against Indians, and many of our people were destroyed. They also brought strong liquor among us; it was strong and powerful, and has slain thousands. 5 Brother, our seats were once large, and yours were very small; you have now become a great people, and we have scarcely a place left to spread our blankets; you have got our country, but are not satisfied; you want to force your religion upon us. 6 Brother, continue to listen. You say you are sent to instruct us how to worship the Great Spirit agreeably to his mind, and if we do not take hold of the religion which you white people teach, we shall be unhappy hereafter. You say that you are right, and we are lost; how do we know this to be true? We understand that your religion is written in a book; if it was intended for us as well as you, why has not the Great Spirit given it to us, and not only to us, but why did he not give to our forefathers the knowledge of that book, with the means of understanding it rightly? We only know what you tell us about it. How shall we know when to believe, being so often deceived by the white people? 7 Brother, you say there is but one way to worship and serve the Great Spirit; if there is but one religion, why do you white people differ so much about it? Why not all agree, as you can all read the book? 8 Brother, we do not understand these things. We are told that your religion was given to your forefathers, and has been handed down from father to son. We also have a religion which was given to our forefathers, and has been handed down to us their children. We worship that way. It teacheth us to be thankful for all the favors we receive; to love each other, and to be united. We never quarrel about religion. 9 Brother, the Great Spirit has made us all; but he has made a great difference between his white and red children; he has given us a different complexion, and different customs; to you he has given the arts; to these he has not opened our eyes; we know these things to be true. Since he has made so great a difference between us in other things, why may we not conclude that he has given us a different religion according to our understanding. The Great Spirit does right; he knows what is best for his children; we are satisfied. 10 Brother, we do not wish to destroy your religion, or take it from you; we only want to enjoy ourown. 11 Brother, you say you have not come to get our land or our money, but to enlighten our minds. I will now tell you that I have been at your meetings, and saw you collecting money from the meeting. I cannot tell what this money was intended for, but suppose it was for your minister; and if we should conform to your way of thinking, perhaps you may want some from us. 12 Brother, we are told that you have been preaching to the white people in this place. These people are our neighbors; we are acquainted with them; we will wait, a little while and see what effect your preaching has upon them. If we find it does them good, makes them honest and less disposed to cheat Indians, we will then consider again what you have said. 13 Brother, you have now heard our answer to your talk, and this is all we have to say at present. As we are going to part, we will come and take you by the hand, and hope the Great Spirit will protect you on your journey, and return you safe to your friends Source: Daniel Drake, Lives of Celebrated American Indians, Boston, Bradbury, Soden & Co. 1843),

8 Writing Thesis Statements Now fill in the blanks to complete the following thesis statements identifying Red Jacket s purpose. Make sure each statement includes an opinion. 1. In the speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket uses and to defend Native Americans right to religious freedom. 2. In the speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket uses a respectful tone and a pattern of similarities to.. (What is Red Jacket s purpose?) 3. In the speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket (What is the context of the speech?) by using (What devices are used?) to convey/portray/reveal /prove. (What is Red Jacket s purpose? Try to use different wording this time.) 90

9 Creating Effective Topic Sentences: What is a topic sentence, and how does it relate to a thesis statement? A topic sentence explains or introduces one of the major points that supports the writer s thesis statement. Each body paragraph in an essay must contain a topic sentence that connects all of the information and analysis in that paragraph to one unified idea, and each topic sentence must be related directly to the thesis statement. The main ideas expressed in each topic sentence represent one of the major divisions of the essay. Writing topic sentences before beginning to write the essay will help developing writers organize their essays and keep those essays focused on their thesis statements. In order to write an effective Topic sentence, you must 1.) introduce one of the strategies/devices from the concrete parts of your thesis, such as diction, detail, figurative language, imagery, etc. This is the topic of the paragraph. 2.)repeat the essay s main idea/subject presented in the thesis. This will be an abstract idea, such as characterization, tone, theme, author s purpose. Examples of Thesis Statements and Corresponding Topic Sentences In the following examples, the concrete and abstract and parts of the essay assignment are identified in the thesis statement. Then each topic sentence for the thesis introduces one of the concrete items and repeats the abstract idea in order to connect the paragraph back to the thesis. A true topic sentence always includes these two parts, and those parts can always be found in a well-written thesis statement. Use direct repetition or synonyms. Assignment 1: In an essay, explain how the author uses literary elements (concrete) to characterize (abstract) Scrooge. Thesis Statement: In A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens incorporates figurative language, detail, and imagery in order to characterize Scrooge as greedy and cold-hearted. Topic Sentence: Dickens relies upon figurative language in order to portray Scrooge as a greedy, cold-hearted character. Assignment 2: In an essay, analyze the rhetorical strategies the author uses to achieve his purpose. Thesis Statement: In The Great Influenza, John M. Barry incorporates repetitive diction, questioning syntax, and extended metaphor in order to illustrate that scientific research is uncertain. Topic Sentence: Barry relies upon repetitive diction in order to emphasize the uncertainty of scientific research. 91

10 Activity Four: Selecting Topic Sentences 1.Read the thesis statement below. Circle the abstract/main idea, and underline the concrete elements. 2.Then read the sentences below the thesis, and check the two best topic sentences for this thesis. 3.In each one, circle the word or phrase that repeats the abstract idea from the thesis, and underline the concrete element from the thesis. You may draw arrows to help you remember the two essential parts of a topic sentence. In the speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket defends his people s right to practice their religion by using diction, similarities, and contrasts to convey a respectful but direct tone. Throughout the speech, Red Jacket refers to the Americans as Brother. The speech begins with Red Jacket s informing the audience that the Great Spirit is bringing them all together. The contrasts between what the Native Americans did for the colonists and the mistreatment they received in return helps to create the direct, confident tone Red Jacket uses to explain why Native Americans are entitled to practice their own religion. The negative diction throughout the speech conveys the sense of mistrust the Native Americans feel towards the white American colonists. Red Jacket reveals similarities in the stories of the creation of the world when he says, All this he had done for his red children because he loved them. The positive, inclusive diction used by Red Jacket creates a respectful, polite tone. Write one additional topic sentence that relates to the thesis statement above. Identify the matching concrete and abstract elements. 92

11 Activity Five: Writing Topic Sentences Following is a possible thesis statement for an essay over Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion. Circle the abstract/main idea; underline the concrete topics that support the main idea. Then write two possible topic sentences for this essay. In his speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket uses historical facts and a proud tone to support his insistence that Native Americans be granted the freedom to practice their own religion Here is another possible thesis statement for an essay about Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion. Read the sentence carefully. Then write two possible topic sentences for this essay. 1. In his speech Red Jacket Defends Native American Religion, Red Jacket calls for religious freedom for Native Americans by using logic and a respectful tone in denying the missionaries request