Fearless Faith Overcoming Fears Our Families Face 1 John 4:7-21

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1 Fearless Faith Overcoming Fears Our Families Face 1 John 4: Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 5:1-5 1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? What are fears we have in our families. Fears of Rejection Fears of being a bad mom Fear of a spouse leaving - Divorce Fear of growing old Secret fears of ladies ageing

2 He loves me for my body, my money, or my brains Fear that men have: Their wife will leave them for another man That they will not be able to provide for their family That they will do something that will hurt their family. Fear that children will not turn out right Fear of sexual predators today The news of parents being investigated for letting their children walk home from the park alone. Fear that children have their parents do not accept them Their parents do not love each other. That could never live up to their parents expectations or standards. The biggest pain and hurt in life usually comes from those closest to us like in the family. The need of approval The need of love. The need of acceptance The fear of Separation the fear of abandonment, rejection, and loss of connectedness; of becoming a non-person not wanted, respected, or valued by anyone else. The "silent treatment," when imposed by a group, can have a devastating psychological effect on its target. Today, we face issues and challenges in our families that are unique to our culture and current mode of living. The agriculture community and family. Lived on farm little or no contact with outside world. Large families lived together worked together. Today urban, suburban vs. the rural Small families both parents work children grow up in Today single parent homes. Media computers social media. Today we live in what is called: A Culture of Fear Much of the rise in anxiety is related to people feeling their connections with others are less stable there s been an increase in divorce, fewer people are getting married and they re less engaged in their churches, synagogues and local institutions such as the PTA. Surveys show that while many Americans lives are improving in every material way, their expectations for happiness are also rising and they feel less satisfied. Acts of terrorism, despite the low odds of actually being affected by one, have made walking through airport security and riding the subway in a major city more stressful.

3 The media the manufacturers, the politicians. Use fear as a tactic to motivate you to think a certain way to purchase certain products to vote a particular way. 20 years ago a few dozen products on the market for bacterial control today antibacterial on every soap product. Hand sanitizers A sign of the last days Luke 21:26 Men's hearts failing them for fear, So what do we do?????? Today. Want to remind you and me of some timeless principles and things we can do to safeguard our homes, our wives, our children, our families Even though we have unique issues and challenges there have always been basic problems in our families over the centuries Adam and Eve.. first two son one killed the other because of jealousy Jacob and Esau and their issues.. Jacobs son s selling one brother into slavery.. King David and his family problems One son rapes his sister the other son takes revenge and kills him. When David is dying his sons are in conflict over who will become the next king. A prophet by the name of Hosea writes about his wife who becomes a prostitute and the pain he feels as she pursues other lovers In the New Testament in Luke 12, Jesus is approached by a man who claims his brother is stealing an inheritance that belongs to him. And the story Jesus gives in Luke 15 about the prodigal son. Story of an older brother who did everything right His need for approval. He felt rejected. He left to seek approval from the world With his money he found those who approved him but it cost him his money, his integrity, his virtue and almost his life. When his money was gone his friends were gone What we need to do to face our family fears? Believe some basic truths about the family!!!!

4 God is the designer and creator of the family!!!!! What is God s Design? One Man One Woman Married for life. God designed for the family to have one leader. The man or the husband There is a line of authority in the home. Man Wife Children The Home was designed to be a place of security, friendship, protection, comfort A place of heaven on earth. God loves you!!!!!! God wants what is best for you. God has provided a way for you to enjoy His best. It includes His plan for the home!!!!! Need to Understand how sin has corrupted God s design In the first home. Sin entered. What is the first thing you see when the family is confronted by God No one wants to take responsibility. They begin blaming each other. Each one is watching out for his or her own interest. It s about me. The need to feel approved.. Humans are relational beings, and each of us has a built-in longing for approval. It originates deep in the human psyche, where we have embedded the knowledge that we are not what we were created to be. We sense the truth of Romans 3: 23, that all have sinned and [fallen] short of the glory of God. Believing we have lost God s stamp of approval, we search elsewhere for affirmation, which leads to dramatic missteps. This longing for approval is so strong that we spend our lives chasing it, often sacrificing our values and priorities in an attempt to secure it. As teens, we encounter peer pressure. As young adults, many of us deal with people pleasing. We ve even invented a specialized form of approval seeking called codependency. But it s all roughly the same thing. In every age group, there are people who live in self-imposed slavery to others and their opinions. We can t write this off as a problem for shy individuals and outsiders either. Nearly everyone is controlled by other people in some way or another. Competitive people, angry people, even superstar athletes live off the high of popular adulation. It comes in all shapes and colors.

5 The Bible has a name for this need for approval: the fear of man. In the Bible, the word fear means more than fright; it s any kind of awe and reverence that causes us to subject ourselves to something or someone else. Biblical counselor Ed Welch explains: Fear in the biblical sense... includes being afraid of someone, but it extends to holding someone in awe, being controlled or mastered by people, worshiping other people, putting your trust in people, or needing people. However you put it,... the fear of man can be summarized this way: We replace God with people. Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. We are offered the fear of God a healthy fear as the key to life; we substitute the fear of man, and things fall apart. Once we begin chasing approval, we never stop running. It s servitude to a thousand masters, as Andrée Seu points out: You have a thousand masters instead of one to please. You think fear of God is bad? It s nothing compared to the alternative. Fear of man is a cruel tyranny. It s exhausting, it s complicated, and you re not nimble enough to pull it off. King Solomon sums it up well in this proverb: The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD shall be safe (Proverbs 29: 25). Therein lies the danger and deceitfulness of the fear of disapproval, or the fear of man: it becomes a snare. A snare is a trap set to capture an animal. In this case it is a metaphor for trapping human beings in some moral or spiritual compromise. An animal snare is camouflaged and baited with morsels of food to entice a creature. A moral snare works in the same way. It is not plainly obvious at first, but it is baited with something we humans long for, which is what makes it so terribly effective. If the bait is an overpowering desire for approval, then we are drawn into the trap by doing whatever it takes to gain approval. And that often means sacrificing our values or standards or priorities, or giving up moral or spiritual ground. Think of a teenager who is so afraid of disapproval that she gives up her moral convictions to gain acceptance by her school s in crowd. When the cool kids get what they want from her submission, money, loyalty, or sex they may turn their backs and walk away. Even if they don t, she may remain in the snare, held fast by her fear of disapproval. Peter the disciple and his fears his need of approval that lead to his fear of rejection. The fear of man His denials and his betrayal

6 What is the answer? Jesus pursued Peter. God pursues us We must believe that God loves us and wants what is best for us. How do you get the approval of God Deal with the sin issue first. God Himself dealt with it on the Cross!!!!! The sin that separated us from God. Has been paid for!!!!! Seek God s Approval Declare yourself a sinner. Believe that Jesus paid the price for your sin Accept His forgiveness and His total acceptance of you because of who you are in Christ and not because of your performance what you do or do not do He loves. Remember Peter Do you love me more than these? Three times. The question is a love question When you truly Love the Lord You become aware of His presence His power His authority in your life.. You begin to be obedient to Him. This is the fear of the Lord Now you don t need the approval of others.. You will be free from this snare.. Now you can really love others. Before, our love was really a way to try to manipulate and control others to love us or to approve us. We loved expecting something back approval Now we can love others Unconditionally!!!!! Husband Wife Children Parents And others. We can commit, we can give we can submit we can surrender Why? Because the approval question is settled God approves me!!!! God loves and accepts and receives me unconditionally.. This is called Faith!!!!

7 It is the shield of Faith. We acknowledge our failure, our weakness, our sin In our despair, We ask the hard questions what do I really believe? Who do I really believe? And if we conclude that Jesus is who He says He is and that God loves me unconditionally. We place our faith in God s love His acceptance, They we experience the power of the Holy Spirit who, in spite of our circumstance our situation, our problems. Gives us the Spirit of power, of Love and a sound mind. It s really a matter of approval God s approval Acceptance.. Unconditionally acceptance Two last verses. 1 John 4: Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 5:1-5 1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him.

8 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. 4 For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? Fear Afraid Some basic pre-thoughts about dealing with fear. Fear is like an alarm a security or fire alarm when it goes off or starts blinking red it means that something is not right something is wrong. In some cases it is like an early detection warning system in our emotions Fear in the bible is associated with the devil and his lies. John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. Adam and Eve in the garden. Satan s lies. They steal your freedom not to do what you want but the freedom to do what you should. They steal your peace Jesus John 14.. peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. They steal your joy.. abundant life Jesus in John spoke several times about His joy will be our joy and it will be full.. In 1 John these things are written that your joy might be full or complete You can t experience fear and experience joy or peace at the same time. Financial fears can be very destructive.. Franklin D. Roosevelt, First inaugural address The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Ambrose Redmoon Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. Bertrand Russell To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. Michael Pritchard Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

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