University Teaching Trust. Mindfulness. Course Workbook. Clinical Psychology Clinical Sciences Building

Transcription

1 University Teaching Trust Mindfulness Course Workbook Clinical Psychology Clinical Sciences Building

2 Mindfulness Course Workbook This workbook contains notes and quotes to back up the discussion that we have in class. Take the time to read the relevant session notes after each class. The homework for each class is detailed at the end of each week s session notes. You may find it useful and interesting to keep notes of your experiences as the course progresses. There are spaces in the workbook to do this. Any notes that you make are entirely to facilitate your own learning process. There will no need for them to be seen by anyone else. Do share your experiences of the course with us as the weeks pass. If you are experiencing any difficulties in connection with the course contact us to discuss things. 2

3 Contents Page 5 Session 1 Automatic pilot Page 12 Session 2 Dealing with barriers Page 22 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Page 38 Session 4 Staying present Page 47 Session 5 Acceptance/allowing/letting be Page 54 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Page 63 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself Page 71 Session 8 Acceptance and change Page 77 Useful Information 3

4 Home Practice is an important part of the course! The patterns of the mind that we will be working to change have often been around for a long time. These patterns are also frequently habitual and automatic. We can only expect to succeed in making changes in these long established ways of mind if we put time and effort into learning new ways. It is challenging to carve out time to do the home practice that is part of this course. It really is worth it though. A useful attitude to adopt is I ll give this a go, with an open mind. At the end of the course I ll decide what the learning has been for me and what I can take away with me. In order for you to make a decision about whether this approach could be a useful part of your life you need to engage with it fully during these eight weeks. A part of each session will be used to reflect on your experiences of the home practice during the week. We will discuss too any difficulties that you may be experiencing with the practice either in getting to do it, or things that arise for you during the practice itself. Much of the learning of the course can be drawn from these experiences. Facing Difficulties A central aim of the approach is to learn how to be more fully aware and present in each moment of life. The good news is that this makes life more enjoyable, interesting, vivid and fulfilling. On the other hand, this means facing what is present, even when it is unpleasant and difficult. In practice you will find that turning to face and acknowledge difficulties is, in the long run, the most effective way to reduce unhappiness. In this course you will learn gentle ways to face difficulties and will be supported while doing this. Patience and Persistence Throughout this course we will be working to change established patterns of mind. Much of the approach will involve investing considerable time and effort, the effects of which may only become apparent later. In many ways, this is much like gardening we have to prepare the ground, plant the seeds, ensure that they are adequately watered and nourished and then wait patiently for the results. 4

5 Mindfulness Session 1: Automatic pilot 5

6 Session 1 Automatic Pilot 1. The aim of the programme is to learn new ways to handle our moods and emotions that will help us to remain well. 2. We do this by focusing on the small changes in thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations that are linked to mood fluctuations. 3. To focus on these changes we have to become more aware of them. 4. The raisin exercise shows our attention is not always placed fully in the moment we are often not at home. 5. The raisin exercise also shows us, how by being more aware of each moment, we can actually alter our own experience and the effects it may have on us. 6. The body scan helps us gain control over our attention. Automatic pilot In a car we can sometimes drive for miles on automatic pilot, without really being aware of what we are doing. In the same way, we may not be really present, moment-by-moment for much of our lives: we can often be miles away without knowing it. On automatic pilot, we are more likely to have our buttons pressed : events around us, and thoughts, feelings and sensations in the mind (of which we may only be dimly aware) can trigger old habits of thinking that are often unhelpful, and may lead on to worsening mood, or of symptoms of stress. By becoming more aware of our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations, from moment to moment, we give ourselves the possibility of greater freedom and choice; we do not have to go down the same old mental ruts that may have caused problems in the past. The aim of this course is to increase awareness so that we can respond to situations with choice, rather than react automatically. We do that by practicing becoming more aware of where our attention is, and deliberately changing the focus of attention, over and over again. Mindfulness is not about trying to get anywhere but simply being aware of where you are and allowing yourself to BE where and AS you are. To begin with, we place attention in different parts of the body as a focus to anchor our awareness in the moment. We will also be training ourselves to put attention and awareness in different places at will. This is the aim of the Body Scan exercise, which forms the main home practice exercise for next week. 6

7 Session 1 Automatic Pilot It sounds silly, but I found it helpful in a snooker match I was playing. There were five of us in the team and we were two-all with me as the last one to play so everything depended on me. There was a blue and pink and black to pot so it could go either way. I felt very highly stressed, felt my heart beating and other team members urging me on. And then I thought about the oxygenated blood, detoxifying everything and I felt the breath going into my fingers and I relaxed and I won. Those little thoughts themselves relaxed my arms. Stress: A particular relationship between the person and the environment that is appraised by the person as taxing or exceeding his/her resources and endangering his/her well being. R. Lazarous I d like to make more mistakes next time. If I had my life to live over I d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I had been on this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice-cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I m one of those people who lives sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I d have more of them. In fact I d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead each day. I ve been one of those people who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies. Nadine Stair, 85 years old 7

8 Session 1 Automatic Pilot The Nine Dots Exercise Draw four straight lines without lifting your pen or retracing any lines to connect all nine dots. 8

9 Session 1 Automatic Pilot Home practice - Session 1 1 Do the BODY SCAN PRACTICE six times before we meet again. Don t expect to feel anything in particular from listening to the recording. In fact, give up all expectations about it. Just let your experience be your experience. Don t judge it, just keep doing it, and we ll talk about it next week. 2 Record your experience on the Home Practice Record Form each time you listen to the recording if you would like to. Also, make a note of anything that comes up in the home practice so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. The Home Practice Form is for your own record only. 3 Choose one ROUTINE ACTIVITY in your daily life and make a deliberate effort to bring moment-to-moment awareness to that activity each time you do it, just as we did in the raisin exercise. Possibilities include waking up in the morning, brushing your teeth, showering, drying your body, getting dressed, eating, driving, taking out the rubbish, shopping, starting the car anything that you do every day simply zero in on knowing what you are doing as you are actually doing it. 4 Note any times when you find yourself able to notice what you eat in the same way you noticed the raisin. Eat at least one meal mindfully in the way you ate the raisin. 5 Do the nine dots puzzle and notice any responses you have while doing it. 9

10 Session 1 Automatic Pilot Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 10

11 Session 1 Automatic Pilot Use this sheet to make your own notes: 11

12 Mindfulness Session 2: Dealing with barriers 12

13 Session 2 Dealing with barriers The present is the only time that any of us have to be alive to know anything, to perceive, to learn, to act, to change, to heal. JON KABAT-ZINN, Full Catastrophe Living Our aim in this course is to be more aware, more often. A powerful influence taking us away from being fully present in each moment is our automatic tendency to judge our experience. We can find it not quite right in some way not what should be happening, not good enough, not what we expected or wanted. These judgements can lead on to sequences of thoughts about blame, or what needs to be changed, or how things could or should be different. Often these thoughts will take us, quite automatically, down some fairly well worn paths in our minds. In this way we may lose awareness of the moment, and also lose the freedom to choose what, if any, action needs to be taken. We can regain freedom if, as a first step, we simply acknowledge the actuality of the situation we find ourselves in, without being immediately hooked into automatic tendencies to judge, fix, or want things to be other than they are. The body scan exercise provides an opportunity to practice simply bringing an interested and friendly awareness to the way things are in each moment, without having to do anything to change things. There is no goal to be achieved, other than to bring awareness to bear as the instructions suggest specifically some special state of relaxation is not a goal to aim for in the exercise. 13

14 WU-MEN Session 2 Dealing with barriers Tips for the body scan l Regardless of what happens, just do it! (e.g. if you fall asleep, lose concentration, keep thinking of other things, keep focusing on the wrong bit of body, don t feel anything). These are your experiences in the moment, just be aware of them. l If your mind is wandering a lot, simply note the thoughts (as passing events) and then bring the mind gently back to the body scan. If your mind isn t clouded by unnecessary things, this is the best season of your life. l Let go of ideas of success, failure, doing it really well, trying to purify the body. This is not a competition. It is not a skill you strive for. The only discipline involved is regular and frequent practice. Just do it with an attitude of openness and curiosity. l Let go of any expectations about what the body scan will do for you: imagine it as a seed you have planted. The more you poke around and interfere, the less it will be able to develop. So with the body scan, just give it the right conditions peace and quiet, regular and frequent practice that is all. The more you try and influence what it will do for you, the less it is likely to do. l Try approaching your experience in each moment with the attitude: OK, that s just the way things are right now. If you try to fight off unpleasant thoughts, feelings, or body sensations, the upsetting feelings will only distract you from doing anything else. Be aware, be non-striving, be in the moment, accept things as they are, just do it. 14

15 Session 2 Dealing with barriers Mindfulness of breathing instructions 1. Sit in a comfortable posture, with your spine erect; let the shoulder drop. 2. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable. 3. Bring your awareness to body sensations, by focusing your attention on the sensations of touch, contact and pressure in your body where it makes contact with the floor and whatever you are sitting on. Spend a few minutes exploring these sensations, just as in the body scan. 4. Bring your attention to your belly, feeling it rise or expand gently on the in-breath and fall or recede on the out-breath. 5. Keep the focus on your breathing, being with each in-breath for its full duration and with each out-breath for its full duration, as if you were riding on the waves of your own breathing. 6. Every time that you notice that your mind has wandered off the breath, softly note what it was that took you away and then gently escort your attention back to your belly and the feeling of the breath coming in and out. 7. If your mind wanders from the breath a thousand times, then your job is simply to bring it back to the breath every time, no matter what it becomes preoccupied with. It is just as valuable to become aware that your mind has wandered and to bring it back to the breath as it is to remain aware of the breath. (Adapted from Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living, p.58) 15

16 Session 2 Dealing with barriers The Breath Breath is life. You could think of the breath as being like a thread or a chain that links and connects all the events of your life from birth, the beginning, to death, the end. The breath is always there every moment, moving by itself like a river. Have you ever noticed how the breath changes our moods short and shallow when were tense or angry, faster when were excited, slow and full when were happy, and almost disappearing when were afraid. Its there with us all the time. It can be used as a tool, like an anchor, to bring stability to the body and mind when we deliberately choose to become aware of it. We can tune into it at any moment during everyday life. Mostly, we are not in touch with our breathing it s just there, forgotten. So one of the first things we do in mindfulness is to get in touch with it. We notice how the breath changes our moods, our thoughts, our body movements. We don t have to control breath with a sense of interest in a relaxed manner. With practice, we become more aware of our breathing. We can use it to direct our awareness to different aspects of our lives. For example, to relax tense muscles, or focus on a situation that requires attention. Breath can also be used to help deal with the pain, anger, relationships or the stress of daily life. During this program, we will be exploring this in great detail. Karen Ryder, Instructor stress reduction clinic, University of Massachusetts Medical centre 16

17 Session 2 Dealing with barriers PLEASANT EVENTS Be aware of a pleasant event at the time it is happening. Use these questions to focus your awareness on the details of the experience as it is happening. Write it down later. What was the experience? What thoughts accompanied this event? What emotional feelings? Any sensations you notice in the body? 17

18 Session 2 Dealing with barriers The Summer Day Who made the world? Who made the swan, and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean The one who has flung herself out of the grass, The one who is eating sugar out of my hand, Who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down Who is grazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. I don t know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down in to the grass, How to kneel down in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, How to stroll though the fields, which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else would I have done? Doesn t everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do With your wild and precious life? From Mary Oliver: New and Selected Poems Boston, Beacon Press,

19 Session 2 Dealing with barriers Home practice - Session 2 1 Use the BODY SCAN PRACTICE again for six days. Record your reactions on the record form. 2 At a different time, practice ten minutes MINDFULNESS OF BREATHING for six days. Being with your breath in this way each day provides an opportunity to become aware of what it feels like to be connected and present in the moment without having to do anything. 3 Complete the PLEASANT EVENTS DIARY (one entry per day) Use this as an opportunity to become really aware of the thoughts, feelings and body sensations that are around in one pleasant event each day. Notice and record as soon as you can, in detail, e.g. put the actual words or images that thoughts came in, and the precise nature and location of bodily sensations. 4 Choose a new ROUTINE ACTIVITY to be especially mindful of (brushing teeth, washing dishes, taking a shower, taking out rubbish, reading to children, shopping, eating, driving etc) 19

20 Session 2 Dealing with barriers Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 20

21 Session 2 Dealing with barriers Use this sheet to make your own notes: 21

22 Mindfulness Session 3: Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement 22

23 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Use the breath as an anchor to tether your attention to the present moment. Your thinking mind will drift here and there, depending on the currents and winds moving in the mind until, at some point, the anchor line grows taut and brings you back. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditations in Everyday Life Focusing on the breath l Brings you back to this very moment the here and now is always available as an anchor and a haven, no matter where you are. l Can actually change your experience by connecting you with a wider space and broader perspective from which to view things Basics of Sitting It helps to adopt an erect and dignified posture, with your head, neck and back aligned vertically this is the physical counterpart of the inner attitudes of self-reliance, self acceptance, patience and alert attention that we are cultivating. Practice on a chair or on the floor. If you use a chair, choose one that has a straight back and that allows your feet to be flat on the floor. If at all possible, sit away from the back of the chair so that your spine is self-supporting. If you choose to sit on the floor, do so on a firm thick cushion (or pillow folded over once or twice) which raises your buttocks off the floor three to six inches. This involves drawing one heel close to the body and draping the other leg in front of it. Alternatively kneeling with the cushion between the feet, kneeling stool or meditation stools can be bought online. 23

24 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Mindful yoga Many of us are reluctant to exercise because it involves discomfort or strain, or requires special equipment or others to work out with, or going to a special place to do it. If this has been the case for you, then mindful hatha yoga may be just the practice you have been waiting for. The word yoga means yoke in Sanskrit, and implies a harnessing together and a unifying of body and mind. Yoga is a form of meditation, and when done regularly, is an excellent mind/ body discipline for people who wish to move towards greater levels of health. Hatha yoga consists of postures done mindfully and with awareness of breathing. They are easily learned and have dramatic effects if practised regularly. The ones we are doing are extremely gentle. Regular practice will increase your musculoskeletal flexibility, strength, and experience a greater serenity about life in general, improved circulation, a firmer trimmer figure, and less illness as a result. In practising yoga, you are advised to practice in the same way that you do when meditating, namely maintaining moment to moment awareness, and not striving to get somewhere, just allowing yourself to be as you are, and letting go of any judging of yourself. Move slowly and consciously. Mindful yoga involves exploring your limits but not pushing beyond them. Instead, you play with dwelling at the boundary and breathe. This requires honouring your body and the messages it gives you about when to stop and when to avoid doing a posture, because of your particular condition. Yoga requires no special equipment and can be done almost anywhere. You can get ideas from yoga books or from classes or online. It is fun to do it to slow music! Experiment mindfully. Jon Kabat-Zinn 24

25 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Some suggested Yoga postures and stretches Note on breathing Yoga breathing is conciously observing the breath as we breathe in (inhale) and breath out (exhale). When the body is relaxed the lungs are able to inhale and exhale more deeply increasing our capacity to take in clean air. With deeper breathing more oxygen comes into the system but this can make you feel a bit dizzy or light headed. If this happens in any of the poses then take a moment in childs pose (sitting with the legs bent under, bottom on the heels. Fold forward resting the torso of the body on the thighs. Hands folded back or reaching forward. An alternative is to make the hands into two fists on top of each other and rest the forehead on top of the forehead. Shoulder and wrist rotations in both directions. Can be done sitting or standing. Head rotations. Bringing the ear towards the shoulder and back up. Repeat on the other side. Chin to chest and back. Side to side looking over each shoulder. Ankle and hip rotations balancing on one leg or holding onto something for support if needed. Spine twist. Breathe out and twist the body from the waist to look over the right shoulder and then the left. Breath in as you come back to centre. Sitting or standing. 25

26 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Standing stretch. Reach up one hand at a time and then both both together. Extend and feel the strech though the full length of the body. If possible include a slight back bend without dropping the head. Side bend. Take both arms parallel or hands on hip and gently bend over to one side and then the other. Forward bend. Relaxing down into a forward bend. On the exhalation relax more into the posture and explore the boundries of the body. Leg lifts. On the tummy with the head down and arms by the sides. Gently lift one leg up and then the other. Back bend. Arms out in front and lift up into a back bend stretch. Less intensive is to come up onto the forearms and elbows. Inverted pose. A strong posture. Push into the arms feeling the stretch in the shoulders, wrists, calves and thighs. Leg lifts. In a seated position or lying on your back lift one leg (straight or bent). Use the arm to intensify the stretch. 26

27 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Side and forward stretch. Legs apart bend over one leg and then the other. Try to keep the back flat. Forward bend through the legs. Roll back. From the seated position with both arms out in front gently roll back one vertebra at a time into the lying position. Repeat up into the sitting position. Warrior pose. Make sure the body is in line. Look out over the front arm. Intensify by bending the front leg more and placing the front elbow onto the bent leg. Intensify further by turning the body forward and bringing the back arm down by the foot of the bent leg. Triangle pose. Try to open out the chest. Less intensive is to keep the hands on the hip. Forward bend. Legs wide. Bend forward keeping a flat back arms outstretched to the side. Intensive the stretch to get the head through the legs. If possible putting the head onto the floor. Triangle pose. Try to open out the chest. Less intensive is to keep the hands on the hip. Forward bend. Legs wide. Bend forward keeping a flat back arms outstretched to the side. Intensive the stretch to get the head through the legs. If possible putting the head onto the floor. Shoulder stand. Hold the posture. To intensify bring the legs down over the head 27

28 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Dancer pose. Standing tall, legs together. Keep the knees together and raise the right leg behind holding it with the right hand. Hold onto something for support if needed. For a stronger balance raise the leg behind into dancer pose. Repeat on the other leg. Tree pose. Focus on one point with the eyes. Raise the right leg and press it onto the left. The higher the more intensive. Push out the right knee to the side, opening up the hip. Hands in prayer position or raised into prayer position above the head. Repeat with the other leg. Corpse pose. To finish lay on the back with the arms out to the side, palms up. Feet sightly apart and dropping naturally to the side. Relax the body with the eyes shut if you prefer. Be aware of the effects that the streches have had on your body. 28

29 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Being Mindful and Aware When we are very young, we were much more physical and aware of our sensations. As we have got older, we have become less grounded and aware and more likely to live life in automatic pilot half asleep, lost in the past, worrying about the future. Practising being more grounded helps us to wake up to our lives. Being more aware of our physical sensations and our mind states allows us to be more present here and now. Coming to our Senses! Mindfulness is about paying attention deliberately and without judgement, as best you can, to what is going on in your body and your mind and in the world around you. Your body l l l l l Looking Listening Feeling sensations Tasting Smelling The world around you l Looking l Listening l Touching l Tasting l Smelling Your mind... (sometimes known as the 6th sense) l Becoming aware of your thinking l Becoming aware of your emotions l Becoming aware of your breath...coming back to the present 29

30 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Walking meditation One simple way of bringing awareness into your daily life is to practice walking meditation. As you might guess, this means bringing your attention to the actual experience of walking as you are doing it. It means simply walking and knowing that you are walking. One of the things that you find out when you have been practising mindfulness for a while is that nothing is quite as simple as it appears. This is as true for walking as it is for anything else. For one thing, we carry our mind with us when we walk, so we are usually absorbed in our own thoughts to one extent or another. We are hardly ever just walking, even when we are just going for a walk. Walking meditation involves intentionally attending to the experience of walking itself. It involves focusing on the sensations in your feet or your legs or, alternatively, feeling your whole body moving. You can also integrate awareness of your breathing with the experience of walking. We begin by making an effort to be fully aware as one foot contact the ground, as the weights shifts to it, as the other foot lifts and moves ahead and then comes down to make contact with the ground in its turn. As with all the other methods we have been exploring, when the mind wanders away from the feet or the legs or the feeling of the body walking, we simply bring it back when we become aware of it. To deepen our concentration, we do not look around at the sights, but keep our gaze focused in front of us. We don t look at our feet. They know how to walk quite well on their own. It is an internal observation that is being cultivated, just the felt sensations of walking, nothing more. When we practice walking meditation, we are not trying to get anywhere. It is sufficient to just be with each step, realising that you are just where you are. The trick is to be there completely. This doesn t mean that your mind will go along with your intention to just be with each step for very long without a concerted effort to keep it focused. You might soon find it condemning the whole exercise, calling it stupid, useless, idiotic. Or it might start to play games with the pace or with balancing, or have you looking round or thinking of other things. But if your mindfulness is strong, you will quickly become aware of this activity, and return your attention to the feet, legs and body. It s a good idea to start with awareness of the feet and legs and practice for a while, then, when your concentration is stronger, you can expand the field of awareness to include a sense of your whole body walking. You can practice mindful walking at any pace. We sometimes do it very slowly, so that one step might take a minute. This allows you to really be with each movement from moment to moment. But we also practice it at a more natural pace. You can practice being aware even when moving quickly you will find that you won t be able to be with each step so easily, but you can shift your awareness instead to a sense of your body as a whole moving through space. So even rushing, you can be mindful, if you can remember. 30

31 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement There are probably circumstances of one kind or another in your life in which you have to be walking, whether you like it or not. These can be wonderful occasions to bring awareness to your walking and thereby transform from a dull, mostly unconscious chore into something rich and nurturing. This can be exhausting, even depressing, because of the monotony of what we are doing if the places we go are the same old places where we find ourselves all the time. The mind craves something new. But if we bring awareness to our walking during these routine activities, our experiences can become more vivid and and actually more interesting, and leave us calmer and less exhausted at the end. In summary, any time you find yourself walking is a good time to practice mindfulness. And sometimes it s good to find an isolated spot and do it formally as well, back and forth, step by step, moment by moment, walking gently on the earth, in step with your life, being exactly where you are. Quoted (with adaptations) from Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn, pp

32 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement A three stage breathing space - AGE 1. Acknowledging Bring yourself into the present moment by deliberately adopting a dignified posture. Then ask: What is going on with me at the moment? Notice and acknowledge your experience, instead of turning away. Accept all your experiences in the body, emotions and thoughts, and stay with them for a few moments, allowing any negative feelings or experiences to be present. The breathing space provides a way to step out of automatic pilot mode and reconnect with the present moment. The key skill we are developing in mindfulness is to maintain awareness in the moment nothing else 2. Gathering Then gently focus your full attention into the breathing. Exercise fully each in-breath and each out-breath as they follow one after the other. The breath can function as an anchor to bring you into the present and to help you tune into a state of awareness and stillness. 3. Expanding awareness Expand your awareness around the breathing to the whole body, and the space it takes up, as if your whole body is breathing. This sequence is rather like an hour-glass. Wide focus followed by narrow focus followed by wide. 32

33 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement UNPLEASANT EVENTS - Be aware of an unpleasant event at the time it is happening. Use these questions to focus your awareness on the details of the experience as it is happening. Write it down later. What was the experience? What thoughts accompanied this event? What emotional feelings? Any sensations you notice in the body? 33

34 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Autobiography in five chapters 1) I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost I am hopeless. It isn t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. 2) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don t see it. I fall in again. I can t believe I m in the same place. But it isn t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. 3) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in it s a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately. 4) I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. 5) I walk down another street. Portia Nelson 34

35 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Home practice - Session 3 1 Practice the MINDFUL MOVEMENT PRACTICE daily for up to 6 days, using the stretching exercises or the walking meditation, or alternating them. The point of movement is to provide a direct way to connect with the body. The body is a place where the emotions often get expressed, under the surface and without our awareness. Thoughts and emotions also affect our bodies. Working with our bodies directly gives us a place to experience more of ourselves, and to connect our experience of body, feelings and thoughts. The movements activate the body and mind, provide a direct way to connect with awareness of the body, and can dispel tiredness. Record any reactions on your record form if you wish to. If you have any back or other health difficulties that may cause problems, make your own decision as to which (if any) of these exercises to do, taking good care of your body. 2 Practice 10 minutes of MINDFULNESS OF BREATHING each day. Record your reactions on the record form if you wish. 3 Practice using the 3 stage breathing space at times that you have decided in advance 4 Complete the UNPLEASANT EVENTS DIARY (one entry per day) use this as an opportunity to become really aware of the thoughts, feelings and body sensations that are around in one unpleasant event each day at the time that they are occurring. Notice and record as soon as you can, in detail e.g. put the actual words or images that thoughts come in, and the precise nature and location of bodily sensations. l What are the unpleasant events that pull you off centre, or get you down (no matter how big or small)? l What do you most not want to look at? l Notice when you move into automatic pilot under what circumstances does this occur? l Have in your awareness an intention to capture the moments of your day. 35

36 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 36

37 Session 3 Mindfulness of the breath and of the body movement Use this sheet to make your own notes: 37

38 Mindfulness Session 4: Staying present 38

39 Session 4 Staying present that is all. Meditation is about stopping and being present, Difficult things are part and parcel of life itself. It is how we handle those things that make the difference between whether they rule (control) our lives or whether we can relate more lightly to them. Becoming more aware of the thoughts, feelings and body sensations evoked by events gives us the possibility of freeing ourselves from habitual, automatic, ways of reacting, so that we can, instead mindfully respond in more skilful ways. In general, we react to experience in one of three ways: l With indifference, so that we can switch out from the present moment and go off somewhere else in our heads l With attachment wanting to hold on to experiences that we are having right now. Or wishing we were having experiences that we are not having right now. l With aversion wanting to get rid of experiences that we are having right now, or avoid experiences that may be coming along that we do not want. Each of these ways of reacting can cause problems, particularly the tendency to react to unpleasant feelings with aversion. For now, the main issue is to become more aware of our experience so that we can respond mindfully rather than react automatically. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life. Regularly practising Sitting Meditation gives us many opportunities to notice when we have drifted away from awareness, notice whatever it was that took our attention away, and to gently and firmly bring it back to our focus of attention, reconnecting with momentby-moment awareness. At other times of the day, deliberately using the Breathing Space whenever we notice unpleasant feelings, or a sense of tightening or holding in the body, provides an opportunity to begin to respond rather than react. 39

40 Session 4 Staying present Staying present Remember to use your body as a way to awareness. It can be as simple as staying mindful of your posture. You are probably sitting as you read this. What are your sensations in your body at this moment? When you finish reading and stand, feel the movements of standing, walking to the next activity, of how you lie down at the end of the day. Be IN your body as you move, as you reach for something, as you turn. It is as simple as that. Just patiently practice feeling what is there and the body is always there until it becomes second nature to know even the small movements you make. If you are reaching for something, you are doing it anyway; there is nothing extra you have to do. Simply notice the reaching. You are moving. Can you train yourself to be there, to feel it? It is very simple. Practice again and again bringing your attention back to your body. This basic effort, which paradoxically is a relaxing way back into the moment, gives us the key to expanding our awareness from times of formal meditation to living mindfully in the world. Do not underestimate the power that comes to you from feeling the simple movements of your body throughout the day. Adapted from J. Goldstein (1993): Insight Meditation G Design Services, Salford Royal NHS Foundation Trust, 40

41 Session 4 Staying present Stress Physical stress Although nowadays we are rarely under threat from physical danger our body is still able to respond as it did in stone-age times. Stress puts the body and mind at action stations. For example if a car was speeding towards you, you will be able to concentrate on the danger. Adrenaline will help you to run faster and concentrate on which way to go. Your ancient survival mechanism will help you to survive. Mental stress As soon as we perceive a threat, e.g. someone laughing at you, the mind switches on to try and protect you. This switch helps you prepare for fight or flight from physical danger. This is why you often respond to stress by wanting to run away. However mental stress is not the same as physical stress, it s a psychological threat. Not only that, but you often end up fearing the response itself (fear of fear). One of our problems is that we always like to explain why things happen. As the triggers of stress are quite subtle we don t often have a good explanation of why we are stressed. If there is no obvious explanation such as car coming towards you or a poisonous snake you will look for a reason and nine times out of ten it will be the wrong one. The Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) The ANS is part of the nervous system that switches on when we feel under threat. Once switched on it causes changes in the body. There are two parts to the ANS. The sympathetic nervous system prepares you for action by releasing chemicals (adrenalin & noradrenalin). The job of the parasynthetic nervous system is to bring the body back to normal. One way we can activate our parasympathetic nervous system and bring the body back to normal is through diaphragmatic breathing. Why am I like this, everyone else can cope I feel dizzy, I must be having a stroke Once this happens, you have a vicious cycle. You feel threatened by your thoughts, your automatic stress reaction is switched on, you worry more, you feel threatened and so on. 41

42 Session 4 Staying present Home practice - Session 4 1 Practice the MINDFUL MOVEMENT recording for six out of seven days or alternate this with the walking meditation. Record what your practice is each day and your reactions to it on the record sheet if you wish to. 2 Three Stage Breathing Space practice at least three times a day. Either practise when you think of it, or connect it to 3 regular activities you do or places you are everyday (e.g. on waking up and/or going to bed, before a programme you regularly watch, before eating, after washing your hands, on first sitting down on your car or on the bus or at your desk) 3 Be aware of your reaction to stress during the week without trying to change them. Notice if you are blocking, numbing, or shutting off from the moment, where it happens, and how this feels in your body. When do you notice yourself refusing or resisting what is happening at the time? When do you find yourself willing to embrace the unwanted? 42

43 Session 4 Staying present Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 43

44 Session 4 Staying present Use this sheet to make your own notes: 44

45 Mindfulness Mindfulness Halfway review Take some time to reflect on: This course is about taking active steps in participating in your own health and well being. Weeks 1-4 have been focused on becoming aware of the wanderings of our minds, using awareness to come back to the present and developing skills in moving out attentiveness to different areas. l What am I learning through this process? l What do I need to do over the next 4 weeks to get the most out of the rest of the course? Use the page overleaf to make notes if you wish. We are now half way through the course. The emphasis in the second half of the programme is on cultivating a different relationship with our internal and external experiences in our day to day lives. G Design Services, Salford Royal NHS Foundation Trust, 45

46 Use this sheet to make your own notes/reflection: 46

47 Mindfulness Session 5: Acceptance, allowing, letting be 47

48 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be The overall tenor of mindfulness practice is gentle, appreciative and nurturing. Another way to think of it would be heartfulness. The basic guideline in this practice is to become mindfully aware of whatever is most predominant in our moment-by-moment experience. So, if the mind is being repeatedly drawn to a particular place, to particular thoughts, feelings or bodily sensations, we deliberately and intentionally take a gentle and friendly awareness to that place. That is the first step. The second step is to notice, as best we can, how we are relating to whatever is arising in that place. Often we can be with an arising thought, feeling or bodily sensation but in a non-accepting, reactive way. If we like it, we tend to hold onto it; we become attached. If we do not like it because it is painful, unpleasant, or uncomfortable in some way, we tend to contract, to push away out of fear, irritation or annoyance. Each of these responses is the opposite of acceptance. The easiest way to relax is, first, to stop trying to make things different. Accepting experience means simply allowing space for whatever is going on, rather than trying to create some other state. Through acceptance we settle back into awareness of what is present. We let it be we simply notice and observe whatever is already present. This is the way to relate to experiences that have a strong pull on our attention. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life For example, if you notice that your awareness keeps being pulled away from breath (or other focus of attention) to particular sensations in the body, associated with physical discomfort, emotions or feelings, the first step is to become mindfully aware of those physical sensations, to deliberately move your focus of awareness to the part of the body where those sensations are strongest. The breath provides a useful vehicle to do this just as you practised in the Body Scan you can take a gentle and friendly awareness to that part of the body by breathing into that part on the in-breath, and breathing out from it on the out-breath. Once your attention has moved to the bodily sensations and you have what is pulling at your attention in the field of awareness, say to yourself: Its okay. Whatever it is its okay. Let me feel it. Then just stay with the awareness of these bodily sensations and your relationship with them, breathing with them, accepting them, letting them be. It may be helpful to repeat, Its okay. Whatever it is its okay. Let me feel it. Using each out-breath to soften and open to the sensations you become aware of. Acceptance is not resignation acceptance allows us, as a vital first step, to become fully aware of difficulties, and then, if appropriate, to respond in a skilful way, rather than to react, in knee-jerk fashion, by automatically running some of our old (often unhelpful) strategies for dealing with difficulties. 48

49 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be Using the 3 stage breathing space to cope with difficulties When you are troubled in thoughts or feelings, use the 3 stage breathing space as follows: 1 Awareness of the difficulty Acknowledging Bring yourself into the present moment by deliberately adopting a dignified posture. Then ask: What is going on with me at the moment? Notice, acknowledge and identify what is happening for you. Put your experiences into words, e.g. say in your mind: Feelings of anger are arising or Self-critical thoughts are here. Observe bring the focus of awareness to your inner experience and notice what is happening in your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. Describe, acknowledge, identify put experiences, into words, for example say in your mind, A feeling of anger is arising or Self-critical thoughts are here. 2 Redirecting attention Gathering Gently focus your full attention on to the breathing. Experience fully each in-breath as they follow one after the other. You may find it helps to note at the back of your mind: Breathing in Breathing out, or to count the breaths. The breath can function as an anchor to bring you into the present and to help you tune into a state of awareness and stillness. 3 Expanding awareness Expand your awareness around the breathing to the whole body, and the space it takes up, as if the whole body is breathing. Especially take the breath to any discomfort, tension or resistance you experience, breathing in to the sensations. While breathing out, allow a sense of softening, opening and letting go. You can also say to yourself: It s okay to feel whatever you are feeling. Include a sense of space around you, too. Hold everything in awareness. As best you can, bring this expanded awareness into the next moments of your day. Carry on holding any difficult experiences in a wider awareness when you notice them rather than the mind being inner battle with them. The coping breathing space gives a way to step out of automatic pilot mode when dealing with difficulties, and to reconnect with the present moment and our own inner wisdom. Remember the hour glass: AGE 49

50 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be The guest house This being human is a guest-house Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture. Still, treat each guest honourably. He may be clearing you out For some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice. Meet them at the door laughing, And invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, Because each has been sent As a guide from beyond Coleman Barks with John Moyne: The Essential Rumi, Harper. 50

51 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be Home practice - Session 5 1 Practice with the SITTING MEDITATION PRACTICE daily. Record what happens on the record form if you wish to. 2 Three Stage Breathing Space REGULAR practice three times a day. Either practice it when you think of it or connect it to 3 regular activities you do or place you are everyday (e.g. on waking up and going to bed, before a programme you regularly watch, before eating, after washing your hands, on first sitting down in your car or on the bus or at your desk) 3 Three Stage Breathing Space COPING - practice whenever you notice yourself starting to feel stressed and explore options of responding with greater mindfulness and in a more friendly way to yourself and the situation. 4 Bring awareness to moments of reacting and explore options for responding with greater mindfulness and creativity. Do this during your meditation practice also. Practice opening up space for responding in the present moment. Use the breath to bring you to this moment. 51

52 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 52

53 Session 5 Acceptance, allowing, letting be Use this sheet to make your own notes: 53

54 Mindfulness Session 6: Thoughts are not facts 54

55 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Awareness is not the same as thought. It lies beyond thinking, although it makes use of thinking, honouring its value and its power. Awareness is more like a vessel which can hold and contain our thinking, helping us to see and know our thoughts as thoughts rather then getting caught up in them as reality. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life Our thoughts can have very powerful effects on how we feel and what we do. Often those thoughts are triggered and run off quite automatically. By becoming aware, over and over again, of the thoughts and images passing through the mind, and letting go of them as we return our attention to the breath and the moment, it is possible to get some distance and perspective on them. This can allow us to see that there may be other ways to think about situations, freeing us from the tyranny of the old thought patterns that automatically pop into mind. Most importantly, we may eventually come to realise, deep in our bones, that all thoughts are not only mental events (including the thoughts that say they are not); that thoughts are not facts; and that we are not our thoughts. Thoughts and images can often provide us with an indication of what is going on deeper in the mind; we can get hold of them so that we can look over from a number of different perspectives; and, by becoming very familiar with our own top ten of habitual, automatic, unhelpful thinking patterns, we can become more easily aware of (and change) the processed that may lead us into unhelpful mood spirals. 55

56 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Ways you can see your thoughts differently: l Just watch them come in and leave without feeling that you have followed them. l View your thought as a mental event rather than a fact. It may be true that this event often occurs with other feelings. It is tempting to think of it as being true. But it is still up to you to decide whether it is true and how you want to deal with it. l Write your thoughts down on paper. This has the effect of letting you see them in a way which is less emotional and overwhelming. Also, the pause between having the thought and writing it down can give you a moment to reflect on its meaning. l Ask yourself the following questions: did this thought just pop into my head automatically? Does it fit with the facts of the situation? Is there something about it, which I can question? How could I have thought about it at another time, in another mood? Are there alternatives? l For particularly difficult thoughts, it may be helpful intentionally to take another look at them in a balanced open state of mind, as part of your sitting practice let your wise mind give its perspective. (adapted in part from M. Fennell, in Hawton et al., 1989). More thoughts on thoughts When you become aware of negative thoughts and images in your mind, hold them in awareness, with an attitude of gentle interest and curiosity, perhaps expanding awareness to include one or more of the following, (go back to the breath after each one): Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Q Perhaps I am confusing a thought with a fact? Perhaps I am jumping to conclusions? Perhaps I am thinking in black and white terms? Perhaps I am condemning myself totally because of one thing? Perhaps I am blaming myself for something, which isn t my fault? Perhaps I am judging myself? Perhaps I am setting unrealistically high standards for myself so that I will fail? Perhaps I am mind-reading/crystal ball gazing? Perhaps I am expecting perfection? Perhaps I am overestimating disaster? The keynote attitude to take with your thoughts is that of gentle interest and curiosity. 56

57 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Relating to Thoughts It is remarkable how liberating it feels to be able to see that your thoughts are just thoughts and not you or reality. For instance, if you have the thought that you must get a certain number of things done today and you don t recognise it as a thought, but act as if its the truth then you have created in that moment a reality in which you really believe that those things must all be done today. One course participant, Peter, who d had a heart attack and wanted to prevent another one, came to a dramatic realisation of this one night when he found himself washing his car at 10 o clock at night with the floodlights on in the driveway. It struck him that he didn t have to do this. It was just the inevitable result of a whole day spent trying to fit everything in that he thought needed doing today. As he saw what he was doing to himself he also saw that he had been unable to question the truth of his original conviction that everything had to get done today, because he was already so completely caught up in believing it. If you find yourself behaving in a similar ways, it is likely that you will also feel driven, tense and anxious without even knowing why, just as Peter did. So if the thought of how much you have to get done today comes up while meditating, you will have to be very attentive to it as a thought or you may be up and doing things before you know it, without any awareness that you decided to stop sitting simply because a thought came into your mind. On the other hand, when such a thought comes up, if you are able to step back from it and see it clearly, then you will be able to prioritise things and make sensible decisions about what really does need doing. You will know when to call it quits during the day. So the simple act of recognising your thoughts as thoughts can free you from the distorted reality they often create and allow for clearer sightedness and a greater sense of manageability in your life. The liberation from the tyranny of the thinking mind comes directly out of the meditation practice itself. When we spend some time each day in a state of non-doing, observing the flow of the breath and the activity of our mind and body, without getting caught up in that activity, we are cultivating calmness and mindfulness hand in hand. As the mind develops stability and is less caught up in the content of thinking, we strengthen the mind s ability to concentrate and to be calm. And if each time we recognise a thought as a thought when it arises and register its content and discern the strength of its hold on us and the accuracy of its content, then we will let go of it and come back to our breathing and a sense of our body, we are strengthening mindfulness. We come to know ourselves better and become more accepting of ourselves not as we would like to be but as we actually are. Segal, Williams, Teasdale 2002, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression, p

58 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Relating to thoughts 2 The thinking level of the mind pervades our lives consciously or unconsciously, we all send much or most of our lives there. But meditation is a different process that does not involve discursive thought or reflection. When we lose ourselves in thought, identification is strong. Thought sweeps our mind and carries it away and in a very short time, we can be carried far indeed. We hop on a train of association, not knowing that we have hopped on, and certainly not knowing the destination. Somewhere down the line, we may wake up and realise that we have been thinking, that we have been taken for a ride. And when we step down from the train, it may be in a very different mental environment from where we jumped aboard. Because meditation is not thought, through the continuous process of silent observation, new kinds of understanding emerge. We do not need to fight with thoughts or struggle against them or judge them. Rather we can simply choose not to follow the thoughts once we are aware that they have arisen. Take a few moments right now to look directly at the thoughts arising in your mind. As an exercise, you might like to close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting in a cinema watching an empty screen. Simply wait for thoughts to arise. Because you are not doing anything except waiting for thoughts to appear, you may become aware of them very quickly. What exactly are they? What happens to them? Thoughts are like magic displays that seem real when we are lost in them but vanish upon It is amazing to observe how much power we give unknowingly to uninvited thoughts: Do this, say that, remember, plan, obsess, judge. They have the potential to drive us crazy, and they often do! The kinds of thoughts we have and their impact on our lives depends on our understanding of things. If we are in the clear, powerful space of just seeing thoughts arise and pass, then it does not really matter what kind of thinking appears in the mind; We can see our thoughts as the passing show they are. From thoughts come actions. From actions come all sorts of consequences. In which thoughts will invest? Our great risk is to come and see them clearly, so that we can choose which ones to act on and which to simply let be. Segal, Williams Teasdale 2002, Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression, p.268 Thoughts are NOT facts 58

59 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Two kinds of intelligence There are two kinds of intelligence: one acquired, as a child in school memorizes facts and concepts from books and from what the teacher says, collecting information from the traditional sciences as well as from the new sciences. With such intelligence you rise in the world. You get ranked ahead or behind others in regard to your competence in retaining information. You stroll with this intelligence in and out of fields or knowledge, getting always more marks on your preserving tablets. There is another kind of tablet, one already completed and preserved inside you. A spring overflowing its spring box. A freshness in the centre of the chest. This other intelligence does not turn yellow or stagnate. It s fluid, and it doesn t move from outside to inside through the conduits of plumbinglearning. This second knowing is a fountainhead from within you, moving out. The Essential Rumi, translation by Coleman Barks with John Moyne, Harper, San Francisco,

60 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Home practice - Session 6 1 Practice SITTING MEDITATION for 6 days. Experiment with times of the day that seem to work for you in each day. Be flexible and open-minded. If you wish to, record your practice routine and reactions to it on the record form. 2 Three Stage Breathing Space REGULAR practice three times a day. Either practice it when you think of it or connect it to 3 regular activities you do or places you are everyday (e.g. on waking up and/or going to bed, before a programme you regularly watch, before eating, after washing your hands, on first sitting down in your car or on the bus or at your desk) 3 Three Stage Breathing Space COPING practice whenever you notice yourself starting to feel stressed and explore options of responding with greater mindfulness and in a more friendly way to yourself and the situation. 4 Notice how you are relating to your thoughts day-to-day, as well as in the meditation practice. Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at anytime and find yourself. Hesse-Siddatha 60

61 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 61

62 Session 6 Thoughts are not facts Use this sheet to make your own notes: 62

63 Mindfulness Session 7: How can I best take care of myself 63

64 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty You can t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life What we can actually do with our time, from moment to moment, from hour to hour, from one year to the next, can be a very powerful influence affecting our general well-being and our ability to respond skilfully to the challenges of our lives. You might like to try asking yourself these questions: 1. Of the things I do, what nourishes me, what increases my sense of actually being alive and present, rather than merely existing? ( up activities) 2. Of the things I do, what drains me, what decreases my sense of actually being alive and present, what makes me feel I am merely existing, or worse? ( down activities) 3. Accepting that there are some aspects of my life that I simply cannot change, am I consciously choosing to increase the time and effort I give to up activities, and to decrease the time and effort I give down activities? By being present in more of our moments, and making mindful decisions about what we really need at each of those moments, we can use activity to become more aware and alert. This is true both for the regular pattern of our daily lives and for times of difficulty in our lives. We can use our day-by-day experience to discover and cultivate activities that we can use as tools to cope with periods of challenge. Having these tools already available means that we will be more likely to persist with the in the face of difficulty and our habitual responses to these times. 64

65 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty For example, one of the simplest ways to take care of your physical and mental wellbeing is to take daily physical exercise as a minimum, aim a gentle walk a day and also, if at all possible, other types of exercise such as mindful stretching, yoga, chi gung, swimming etc. The Breathing Space provides a way to remind us to use activity to deal with unpleasant feelings as they arise. Using the breathing space: the action step After reconnecting with an expanded awareness in the Breathing Space, it may feel appropriate to take some CONSIDERED ACTION. In dealing with difficult feelings the following activities may be particularly helpful: 1. Do something pleasurable 2. Do something that wil give you a sense of satisfaction or mastery 3. Act mindfully Ask yourself: What do I need for myself right now? How best can I best take care of myself right now? The core point is to use your awareness of where you are at in each moment to make the best choices for yourself in each moment. These choices will necessarily be unique to you and to the moment. 65

66 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty The following examples give a flavour of the distinction between pleasurable activities and those activities that give us a sense of mastery or satisfaction. 1. Doing something pleasurable Be kind to your body: Have a nice hot bath; breathe some fresh air; treat yourself to your favourite food without feeling guilty; have your favourite hot drink Engage in enjoyable activities: Go for a walk (maybe with the dog or a friend); visit a friend; do your favourite hobby; do some gardening; take some exercise; phone a friend; spend time with someone you like; cook a meal; go shopping; watch something funny or uplifting on TV; read something that gives you pleasure; listen to music that makes you feel good; enjoy any natural beauty around you 3. Act mindfully Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now; keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present e.g. Now I am walking down the stairs now I can feel the banister beneath my hand now I m walking into the kitchen now I m turning on the light ; be aware of your breathing as you do other things; be aware of the contact of your foot with the floor as you walk 2. Do something that gives you a sense of mastery, satisfaction, achievement or control Clean the house; clear out the cupboard or drawer; catch up with letter writing; do some work; pay a bill; do something that you have been putting off doing; take some exercise 66

67 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty Remember Try to perform your action as an experiment. Try not to pre-judge how you will feel after it is completed. Keep an open mind about whether doing this will be helpful in any way. Consider a range of activities and don t limit yourself to a favourite few. Sometimes trying new behaviours can be interesting in itself. Exploring and enquiring often works against withdrawal and retreat. Remember don t expect miracles. Carry out what you have planned as best you can. Putting extra pressure on yourself by expecting this to alter things dramatically may be unrealistic. Activities are helpful in building your overall sense of control in the face of shifts in your mood. When things feel difficult The mindfulness skills we have been developing are particularly relevant to these times. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said don t start weaving your parachute when you are just abut to jump out of the aeroplane.. When we are under pressure we are more likely to revert to old habits of mind. The more tuned in you are to yourself and the world about you the wiser your decisions, choices and actions will be. This is particularly helpful when you are facing challenges. At these times try asking yourself: What do I need to help me get through this time? What do I need to help me get through this time? 67

68 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty Home practice - Session 7 1 From all the different forms of formal mindfulness practice that you have experienced in the course, settle on a form of practice that you intend to use on a regular, daily basis for the next few weeks. 2 Record your reaction to this. 3 3 Stage breathing space-regular: practice 3 times a day at times that you have decided in advance. 4 3 Stage breathing space coping plus action : practice whenever you notice unpleasant thoughts or feelings 68

69 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty Home practice record You can record on the Home Practice Record Form each time you practice, and make a note of anything that comes up in the homework so that we can talk about it at the next meeting. DAY/DATE PRACTICE COMMENTS 69

70 Session 7 How can I best take care of myself? Bringing awareness to times of difficulty Use this sheet to make your own notes: 70

71 Mindfulness Session 8: Acceptance and change 71

72 Session 8 Acceptance and change Mindfulness provides a simple but powerful route for getting ourselves unstuck, back in touch with our own wisdom and vitality.the most important point is to be really yourself and not try to become anything that you are not already being in touch with your deepest nature, and letting it flow out of you unimpeded. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life The advantages of awareness, acceptance, and mindfully responding to situations rather than immediately running off pre-programmed automatic reactions has been a recurring theme throughout this course. Acceptance may often be the springboard to some form of skilful action directed at achieving change in the inner and outer worlds. However, there are also situations and feelings that it may be difficult, or actually impossible, to change. In this situation, there is a danger that by carrying on trying to solve an insoluble problem, or by refusing to accept the reality of the situation one is in; one may end up banging ones head against a brick wall, exhausting oneself, and actually increasing ones sense of helplessness and depression. In these situations you can still retain some sense of dignity and control by making a conscious, mindful, decision not to attempt to exert control and to accept the situation as it is, if possible, with a kindly attitude to the situation and your reactions to it. Choosing not to act it much less likely to increase a sense of helplessness and stress, than being forced to give up attempts at control after repeated failures. The so-called Serenity Prayer asks for: Grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other Where do we find this grace, this courage, and this wisdom? At some level, we already have all these qualities our task is to realise them (make them real) and our way is none other than moment-by-moment mindful awareness. 72

73 Session 8 Acceptance and change The so-called Serenity Prayer asks for: Grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Where do we find this grace, this courage, and this wisdom? At some level, we already have all these qualities our task is to realise them (make them real) and our way is none other than moment-by-moment mindful awareness. 73

74 Session 8 Acceptance and change Daily Mindfulness When you first wake up in the morning before you get out of bed, bring your attention to your breathing. Observe 2 mindful breaths. Notice changes in your posture. Be aware of how your body and mind feel when you move from lying down to sitting, to standing, to walking. Notice each time you make a transition from one posture to the next. Whenever you hear a phone ring, a bird sing, a train pass by, laughter, a car horn, the wind, the sound of a door closing us any sound to be like the bell of mindfulness. Really listen, being present and awake. Throughout the day take a few moments to bring your attention to your breathing. Observe 5 mindful breaths. Whenever you eat or drink something, take a minute and breathe. Look at your food and realise that the food was connected to something, which nourished its own growth. Can you see the sunlight, the rain, the earth, the farmer, and the trucker in your food? Pay attention as you eat, consciously consuming this food for your physical health. Bring awareness to seeing your food, smelling your food, tasting your food, chewing your food, and swallowing your food. Notice your body while walking or standing. Take a moment to notice your posture. Pay attention to the contact of the ground under your feet. Feel the air on your face, arms, and legs as you walk. Are you rushing? Bring awareness to listening and talking. When listening can you listen without agreeing or disagreeing, liking or disliking, or planning what you will say when it is your turn? When talking can you just say what you need to say without overstating or understating? Can you notice how your mind and body feel? Whenever you are waiting in a queue, use this time to notice standing and breathing. Feel the contact of your feet on the floor and how your body feels. Bring attention to the rising and falling of your abdomen. Are you feeling impatient? Be aware of any tightness in your body throughout the day. Breathe into them and as you exhale let go of excess tension. Is there tension stored anywhere in your body? For example your neck, shoulders, stomach, jaw, or lower back. If possible stretch or do yoga or chi gung once a day. Focus attention on your daily activities such as brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, washing up, putting on your shoes, doing your job. Bring mindfulness to each activity. Before you go to sleep at night, take a few minutes and bring your attention to your breathing. Observe 5 mindful breaths. Adapted from: Mandy Klyne, Instructor UMMC Program 74

75 Session 8 Acceptance and change Use your umbrella A young woman, studying in India, undertook to develop love, kindness, and goodwill though her meditation practice. Sitting in her small room, she would fill her heart with lovingkindness for all being. Yet each day, as she went to the bazaar to gather her food, she would find her kindness sorely tested by one shopkeeper who would daily subject her to unwelcome caresses. One day she could stand no more and began to chase the shopkeeper down the road with her upraised umbrella. To her mortification she passed her teacher standing on the side of the road observing this spectacle. Shame-faced she went to stand before him, expecting to be rebuked for her anger. What you should do, her teacher kindly advised her, is to fill your heart with loving kindness, and with as much mindfulness as you can muster, hit this unruly fellow over the head with your umbrella. Sometimes that is what we need to do. It would be easy enough to hit the man over the head with the umbrella. The difficult part is to do it with all the loving-kindness in our heart. That is our real practice. Adapted from Christina Feldman & Jack Kornfield: Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart. 75

76 Session 8 Acceptance and change The Future Remember Jon Kabat-Zinn s advice to weave your parachute every day, rather than leave it to the time you have to jump from the plane! Decide, right now, what your regular pattern of practice will be over the next weeks, and stick to it as best as you can. Also, remember the breathing space regular practice provides a way of checking in with yourself a few times a day- let it also be your first response in times of difficulty, stress, or unhappiness whatever happens. At this point you may find it interesting and useful to reflect back on your original reasons for coming on the course and what you now feel has been the learning for you in the last 8 weeks. Q Q Q Q What did I get out of coming, if anything? What did I learn? What sacrifices have I made to do this course? What are my biggest blocks or obstacles to continuing the practice? Q What can I do to help myself not get stuck, and to continue practising? 76