Waving The Magic Wand Within. Alleviating Performance Anxiety with Simple NLP Techniques

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1 Mind Transformations Exclusive Article 03 April 2012 Waving The Magic Wand Within Alleviating Performance Anxiety with Simple NLP Techniques Cordelia Quah Mind Transformations NLP Practitioner (Sep 2011) Summary: A recent NLP graduate shares her story on how she overcame her performance anxiety through breaking a habitual pattern, altering her mindset, and mapping out her 8-step coping strategy.

2 Performance Anxiety Butterflies in your stomach. Cold sweat. Sweaty palms. Pounding heart. Have you ever felt these just before you are about to start a presentation? Or perhaps just before a job interview? Whatever the event could be, we have been there before, wishing there could be an easy way to deal with the nervousness and anxieties. You might have also wished that those associated symptoms that manifested in your body would just go poof! with a magical wand. Will you believe me if I told you that the magical wand is within you? Performance anxiety is no stranger to us. We all encounter them at some point in time and we often wished that time would pass quickly so that we can get through whatever stressful situation we are facing. However, we usually encounter quite the very opposite: time trickles extremely slowly as we are fixated on trying to get through these dreaded moments. peers in facilitating this session. I found my stomach wringed in knots who am I to lead? Why would anyone follow through on this with me? My mind raced to find a quick-fix solution I needed to wiggle myself out of this. Call Barney (our trainer) to lead instead. Run away. Hide behind a tree. I would do anything to get myself out from the situation. As miraculous as it sounded, I decided that I could fall sick to escape this situation. It sounded like the perfect plan. I would not need to stand fearful in front of my peers to lead something I was not confident in, and I did not have to feel embarrassed if I did a poor job. Knowing what I know now from the NLP practitioner course, I wanted to create a different experience from this situation. It was the perfect moment to inject a pattern break. How different am I from my past if I still choose to fall sick as a way out from a stressful situation? While I could have given that excuse, I would also have robbed myself of a valuable learning experience... 2 After my NLP practitioner course, I came face to face with a situation that I very much wished I could wiggle myself out from. It all started with a post-course picnic which turned into a semi-pcap (Post Course Action Plan a follow up sharing and coaching session for goals set during the NLP course). Instead of the simple tasks of coordination and arranging logistics for a picnic, I found myself tasked to lead and my My perfect plan brought to mind an example shared during the NLP Practitioner course in which some students choose to fall sick in order to avoid dealing with exams. Wait there is familiarity in this theme. This was the same pattern that I had embraced for years whenever I was faced with a stressful situation. It had always felt good to relive in the misery of the sickness to provide the comfort, respite and self-consolation. Since it

3 has always been a companion to me, why not continue to enjoy its presence and linger in its sweetness? At the same time, I felt as though I was brewing a concoction that would eventually explode someday. Knowing what I know now from the NLP practitioner course, I wanted to create a different experience from this situation. It was the perfect moment to inject a pattern break. How different am I from my past if I still choose to fall sick as a way out from a stressful situation? While I could have given that excuse, I would also have robbed myself of a valuable learning experience had I stayed hidden in my hole. Pattern Break No doubt the challenge ahead appeared insurmountable, yet it only takes a small belief that we have that magical wand within us to make the perceived mountain transform into manageable pebbles. People already have all the resources to act effectively. They just need to believe it first. This was the timely reminder that transformed my attitude towards the task on hand. I am reminded of the story of David s battle with Goliath described in the Bible. David must have held on to at least a tiny ounce of belief that he can defeat Goliath. That small belief set the outcome apart from what others had perceived it would be - seeing David squashed. As the fairy godmother from the famous Disney s cartoons would say, Sometimes you have to believe before you see it. This NLP presupposition speaks a lot we create our own magical moments when we actively wave our magical wands believe we have all the resources we need within us, unleash the resources and exercise them accordingly. Disney Having this belief allowed my mind to settle and relax, which in turn allowed me to look for alternative approaches to deal with the performance anxiety towards the task at hand. Familiarity builds confidence - by going through with the Mind Transformations team and my fellow NLP practitioner course mates how the PCAP would flow on the day itself, I slowly saw how the picnic would unfold. Eventually the following steps became my strategy for dealing with the associated performance anxiety towards the picnic event: 1. Set Intention Intention setting provides the direction that helps me navigate the process of the event. The intention here was to provide a platform for the graduates to re-connect, have fun and learn one another s progress. 2. Getting into the Right State State management is the key to getting through performance anxiety. State precedes excellent performance. Recall in Kung Fu 3

4 Panda 2, in one of the final scenes, Po the Dragon Warrior faced off against fire cannon balls. What did he do? He summoned the state of inner peace to produce the excellent performance. In my case, bringing forth a state of calmness, relaxation and confidence helped me source for alternative solutions to my perceived issues Visualize the Process, Visualize the Outcome. This allows the mind to build on familiarities which in turn encourages confidence. I mentally rehearsed in my mind steps 1, 2, 3 etc. and if something new or unexpected popped up, I went back to rearrange the flow until I could see my outcome achieved. Do this several rounds until we feel comfortable. 4. Map Out Key Elements into a Rough Structure to hold in mind. While the details in Step 3 would have been the perfect master plan to follow, more often than not, we get lost in the details. After mentally rehearsing the required steps to achieve the outcome, start to filter out key trigger words or pictures that best outline the entire process. This creates a rough structure of the flow of events. 5. Test the Rough Structure Ensure the key elements produce the process in Step 4. TOTE (Test, Operate, Test. Exit). Mentally rehearse with just the trigger words or pictures. Can we see the outcome? 6. Let Go. Surrender. There will always be more things to do and sometimes our minds go about trying to spot the missing parts. Do the best we can but it is equally important to let go. Trust that Disney Celebrate all victories no matter how big or small because they eventually add up to something big your very own resource pool. everything else will take care of itself. 7. Give Thanks & Reiterate Intentions. Gratitude opens up our hearts. Being thankful for the learning experience will allow ourselves to acknowledge that the learning is in the doing. Things may not always turn out perfect but the intention is not about reaching perfection. There is no failure, only feedback. 8. Self-Acknowledgement It took courage to confront our own fears and to overcome performance anxiety. Acknowledging ourselves in this step seals in the moment of this little victory which in turn will add to the library of resources that can be called upon in future when we ask ourselves, Is there an event in my past when I have overcame performance anxiety? The Picnic On the morning of the picnic, I woke up feeling refreshed having let go of the outcome the night before. As I set my

5 intention for the day, I chose to allow myself to flow with the moment. After preparing the picnic food, we arrived at Botanic Gardens and were pleasantly greeted by the gentle cool breezes and some clouds - the weather was perfect for a picnic. I was thankful that the joint intentions of the group for good weather manifested into such beautiful weather and that was a good start to the event, where we mingled with one another, munch all the lovingly prepared dishes and simply enjoy reconnecting where we left off since our course ended. We were also very blessed to find the perfect spot where we had sheltered space to store our food while having ample space nearby amongst the greenery to lay our ground sheets. Finally the moment arrived and the group sat down on the ground sheets to start the PCAP session. Although a pre-frame was sent out before the picnic, I still felt apprehensive to broach the PCAP for fear that it would sound like a party damper on a fun-filled event. As I sat down on the ground sheet, the visualized process started to fill my mind and I willed myself to go with the flow. I thanked everyone for coming, explained the primary intention of the picnic and slowly paced and lead the group to the purpose of having a mini-pcap session, as the picnic was held at a midpoint between the end of our NLP course and the upcoming postcourse webinar session. Surprisingly, every one responded well and we started to share among ourselves where we were currently with regards to reaching our outcomes and what needs to happen to reach a scale of 10. By the time the 3rd graduate started to share her progress, other graduates were spontaneously jumping in with the NLP questioning! On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you right now with regards to achieving your outcome? quizzed one graduate. So what do you need to do to move to a 10?, asked another. This dynamic of peer coaching caught me off-guard and I realized that the beauty of having a group of NLP practitioners together is that no one is really alone. We are a support group, a geese-like community of like-minded folks bonded by days of learning NLP together. The nurturing and supportive environment extended even to a picnic setting where we came together to uplift one another. I realized that I wasn t alone and that my role was simply to start the ball rolling, and the other graduates would keep the momentum going. Suddenly, the burden that I had carried with me just seemed to fall off as I marvelled silently at peer coaching live in action. I didn t have to actively lead the session going with the flow has allowed a beautiful scene to unfold right before my own eyes. 5

6 Unexpected Takeaways Looking back at the picnic, I had started out wanting to do something for my fellow NLP practitioners but the task of doing something weighed heavily on me. Yet the surprise was on me - the greatest takeaway from organizing the picnic was learning about my own fears and new approaches to overcome my perceived limitations. It wasn t so much about finding courage to do something. It was finding courage within me to believe. Performance anxiety doesn t cripple our abilities. Our limitations often lie within ourselves and our perception of the situation. If I am to do this again, instead of stressing myself out, I will choose to wave my magical wand earlier and trust that my little belief is the key to unlocking my own true potential. As for my performance anxiety, I thank it for giving me the opportunity to summon my state of calmness and entering a state of Zen Most of the skills Cordelia used in her 8-step strategy are taught in our 12-Day NLP Practitioner Certfication Course. More importantly, the course also imparts the skills to distill successful performances into concrete steps that can be replicatedm which Cordelia has done. If you would like to find out more, please visit us at: To contact us for feedback or information, you may info@nlpsgasia.com Or call (+65) Mind Transformations Pte Ltd 51B Temple Street Singapore