Mary Ann Kluga, RN, MPS, LCDC, ADCII Chemical Abuse Prevention Program Coordinator x

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1 Mary Ann Kluga, RN, MPS, LCDC, ADCII Chemical Abuse Prevention Program Coordinator x

2 How do you define compassion? What does it look like when you are practicing compassion in your life? Does it look any different when you are practicing being selfcompassionate? If so, why? How gentle or hard are you on yourself? Why?

4 We live in a super competitive society. We often put up our defenses ready for a fight (with ourselves or others.) We think/feel we have to be smart AND pretty/handsome AND caring AND creative AND successful at all we do AND, AND, AND

5 Feeling inadequate or insecure and so, since we are lacking in whatever it is we think we have to be, we beat ourselves up. Becoming super critical and judgmental of ourselves and others and then either Blaming others for our faults or wrongs ( it is your fault I am ) or blaming ourselves for everything even when it isn t our fault ( I m sorry I didn t )

6 What would happen if you gave up the fight? What if you were to live and think and feel differently? How would you want to feel?

7 Life is a tragedy when seen in a close-up, but a comedy when seen in a long-shot. Charlie Chaplin My life has been filled with terrible misfortune, most of which never happened. -Montaigne

8 Loving ourselves points us to capacities of resilience, compassion, and understanding within that are simply part of being alive. -Sharon Salzberg, The Force of Kindness 1. Give yourself kindness and care. 2. Remind yourself that encountering pain is part of the human experience. 3. Hold thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness. -Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion

9 What do you see in this baby owl? Is it easy or hard to love him or her? How do we transfer that to us???

10 Mindfulness The goal is to help you become okay with yourself. Mindfulness is being present to whatever is before us right now. We don t have to change anything. We just need to become aware. I am thinking I am feeling

12 Take a few seconds and check in with yourself: What are you feeling emotionally? What are you thinking about? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you see? What do you feel physically? Where are you? Share your findings with a partner or two.

13 Think of an activity that you enjoy so much that time flies by when you are doing it. You are in the flow because you are engaged fully in the activity. This is mindfulness. Being totally in the present moment.

16 Practicing mindfulness is a process, a journey, an adventure, a way of life, and a way of experiencing life. It is remaining open to whatever is happening right here, right now. It is a way of befriending ourselves and our experiences. Being mindful is watching distractions and coming back to this moment. Being mindful helps us get out of our habitual thought patterns or automatic responses. Mindfulness is moment-to-moment, nonjudgmental awareness, cultivated by paying attention. Jon Kabat-Zinn

17 To be present is the hardest work in the world. Jon Kabat-Zinn Being present entails being gentle with ourselves so we can become more aware. Being present helps us recognize that we are perfect in our imperfection with ALL of our shortcomings, character defects, attachments, fears, inadequacies, insecurities, wounds, etc. We take care of the future best by taking care of the present now. Jon Kabat-Zinn

18 Acknowledge whatever it is you are thinking, feeling, doing it is okay (really! Even though it doesn t feel it sometimes). Acknowledge the WONDERFUL gift that you are (yes really!)

22 Your thoughts become things. Choose the good ones. -Mike Dooley

23 Loving-kindness Self-forgiveness Peace Acceptance Self-compassion

24 Improves compassionate behavior as well as emotional well being and stability Improves the quality of our sleep Helps us to take care of ourselves Accept and better understand our own thoughts and feelings Trust our selves and our intuition Endure and manage stress and distress Brings peace, serenity, and calmness Experience the inner chatter without judgment, seeing the repetitive nature of thoughts (being on autopilot), and then being able to do something about them Helps us to see what we can and cannot change Helps us to stop resisting reality

26 Take a moment and focus on one of your hands: What do you see? How does it feel to touch one hand with the other? What do you notice that you may have not noticed before? How does it smell? How does it support you? How do you care for your hands?

27 I want to learn to live in the moment just not this moment!!!

29 Anything we do can be done mindfully by paying attention to what we are doing right now. Follow the breath. Count as you breathe in and out. Notice any sounds. Notice what you notice. Notice any feelings. Feel what you feel. Notice thoughts and let them go (as if a parade is going by). Our job is not to fight the thoughts, let them go. Allow yourself to experience your mind vs. engage in the monkey mind or chatter. Hmm, that is an interesting thought. When walking, feel each foot hit the ground and release. When peeling potatoes, be totally there peeling the potatoes.

31 When eating, savor the flavor(s), textures, etc. Eat slowly. Cheweach bite fully. Paying full attention when listening to someone. Staying with the emotion I am experiencing rather than my reaction to it. Hmm, I am angry right now. I wonder what that is trying to teach me? This too shall pass. (Thank heavens ) Asking ourselves: am I being mindful or mindless?

32 Our emotional suffering is caused by our desire for things to be different than they are. The more we resist what is happening, the more we suffer. Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Suffering stems from comparing our reality to our ideals. Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Healing is a coming to terms with the way things are, not the way they used to be, or how I want them to be now. Jon Kabat-Zinn

35 Start your day with thank you. The more we focus on giving, the more we receive. Start a gratitude or selfcompassion journal. Write down 5 things you are grateful for or how you have been selfcompassionate today. Look for the gifts in each day. List 100 blessings. You can be grateful for lessons learned and negatives too.

36 Meditation Journaling Yoga, T ai Chi, Qigong Breathing Exercises Guided Visualization Music, Singing, Dancing Art, Soul Collages Silence, Quieting the Mind Sacred Rituals/Sacred Space Volunteering/Service Work

37 Comes from the Sanskrit word familiarization : getting to know your own mind or connecting with yourself. Our minds are full of thousands of thoughts each day and all of them compete for our attention and subsequent action. Helps to quiet the monkey mind or internal dialogue of the ego/committee which never seems to be silent. A time to get quiet, be mindful, listen to the still, small voice within, and pay attention to your desires.

38 Walking meditation. Sit outside and focus on a flower or tree or the sky. Progressive muscle relaxation with guided imagery. Focusing on your breathing. Focusing on a mantra or word. Listening to calming music. You don t have to meditate for long periods of time to notice changes.

39 The goal of meditation is not to empty the mind, but rather to train it to come back to the breath or thought.

41 Mindfulness meditation has been shown to: Reduce feelings of anxiety, stress and distress Be more caring, compassionate, and loving to all Decrease chronic physical pain Improve immune system functioning Strengthen the areas of the brain that control our fear center Improve the brain s executive functioning and communication skills Increase the ability to concentrate and reason

43 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Part of self-compassion is identifying what you can change and accepting what you can t. What in your life can be changed and what needs to be accepted? Share with a neighbor.

44 Or one second at a time Or one minute at a time Or one hour at a time

45 A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor s book. -Irish Proverb

47 Expect something good to happen today. Have selfcompassion. Appreciate what you have, what and who you are, and everything in your life.

49 This is a lifetime process and each time you are selfcompassionate creates a ripple effect and builds on the process. It really is okay to be nice to yourself and to say loving things about yourself.

53 If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. -Dalai Lama

55 Check out a free website: Sign in and go to flow Many of our elementary schools are using their brain exercises to energize or calm students along with teaching a variety of concepts, one of which is mindfulness.

56 What would it be like to really settle into our body, heart, mind, and soul and be present to what is going on right now? Would you be different? How would you know you had changed?

57 What is something you learned or remembered today? What will you do to be more selfcompassionate and mindful?

58 Arriving at Your Own Door Jon Kabat-Zinn Self-Compassion Kristin Neff, Ph.D. Simple Abundance Sarah Ban Breathnach Simplify Your Life Elaine St. James The Mindful Child: How to Help Your Kid Manage Stress and Become Happier, Kinder, and More Compassionate Susan K. Greenland Your Life in Rhythm - Bruce Miller Life is a Verb - Patti Digh The Power of Intention Dr. Wayne D. Dyer 365 Ways to Give Thanks Brenda Shoshanna Ph.D. Love, Medicine and Miracles and Healing and Humor (CD) Bernie Siegel, M.D.

59 gratefulness,the heart of prayer Brother David Steindl-Rast Gratitude (CD) Angeles Arrien Louie Schwartzberg: Nature. Beauty. Gratitude

Dr. Catherine Hart Weber

FLOURISH REFLECTION EXERCISES Dr. Catherine Hart Weber Flourish Reflection Exercises are based on Biblical principles integrating cutting edge new research in Neurobiology, Faith Based Positive Psychology